"Predictable" - Chapter 6
So, while waiting for my blu-ray to get here, I figured I'd kill time with a new chapter of "Roxanne kicks everyone's butt and you just don't know it". This chapter ended up being almost entirely original content, covering the span of time between the museum bombing and the discovery of Evil Lair.
To recap: The movie, told from Roxanne's perspective, with a ton of extra stuff filled in to examine her mindset and character progression.
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
"Breaking news this morning from the Metro City Plaza. Late last night, the centerpiece statue of the Metro Man Museum was destroyed in an apparent terrorist bombing. No casualties were reported, and so far no one has come forward to claim responsibility for this act or make any demands. With all government agencies currently shut down, investigation into this incident has been stalled, but stay tuned to KMCP Channel 8 for the latest as this story develops."
I lowered my microphone and sighed as Hal cut the camera. It was plain as day who was responsible for this, but objective journalism is objective journalism, and I couldn't rightfully call Megamind out on it without any hard evidence. Unfortunately, as I'd stated, there was no one available to collect that evidence. It had been 6 hours since the bombing, yet there wasn't even a wisp of crime scene tape or a single forensic investigator on the scene. These people may not be on the job at the moment, but they still existed, right? Wasn't anyone in this city willing to put their skills to use to combat this, even if they weren't getting paid for it? Or had Metro Man's violent death left us so terrified that something like a terrorist attack didn't even register as being worth looking into?
Hal toddled down the steps, clumsily sidestepping debris, hastily saying, "Okay, this has been really exciting and all, but I really think we should get out of here before an afterbomb goes off or something."
"Afterbomb?" I repeated in confusion.
"Yeah, you know," he replied, cocking his head. "Okay, it's like, you know like when there's an earthquake, and after the earthquake there's, like, aftershocks or something? Because there's more earthquake in the ground that didn't come up yet, right? So, like, when there's bombs, sometimes there's bomb parts that don't blow up until later, so they're like... afterbombs."
Um... okay? I wasn't exactly an expert in explosives so I couldn't really refute that. But because of said deficiency in my knowledge, sticking around here to investigate in place of the professional bomb squads was out of the question. Google was no substitute for actual expertise in matters such as this.
I rubbed my chin in thought. Investigating the crime scene for evidence to incontrovertibly point back to Megamind was a bit out of my league, but investigating Megamind to point back the other way, on the other hand...
Hal broke into my thoughts, casually interjecting, "You know, it's a good thing we left when we did last night, am I right? Cuz, I mean, if we stayed here much longer, we might've..."
"Hal, I was still here last night when it happened," I cut him off.
He stood still for a moment, awkward and wide-eyed. After a minute, he mouthed a choked "Oh..." and remained uncomfortably silent again for a moment, fidgeting his arms against his sides. "Well, I mean, you obviously made it out okay, seeing as you're, you know, standing right here and all..." he laughed a little nervously.
I held up my hand. "I was lucky, that's all. Hal, this is getting serious. Megamind's actions have become progressively more unstable since he killed Metro Man, and I just... I don't think this is the last of it. I think he's got something even bigger planned, and this was just some sort of... rehearsal. A warning shot, maybe. Hal, if we don't find out what he's up to, the next time we might not be so lucky."
"Whoa whoa, connection time out here..." Hal said, waving his hands. "First off, what's this 'we' you're talkin' about? You? And me? Against Megamind? Okay, what, are we just gonna, like, bust down his door or somethin' and steal all his plans?"
I pointed at him decisively and grinned. "That is exactly what we're going to do." My finger moved from him to the building across the reflecting pool and announced, "Megamind is about to have some surprise visitors." Hal's arms dropped dumbfoundedly to his sides as I trotted past him down the steps and began to make my way across the plaza towards City Hall. Hal made some unintelligible noises behind me, then hefted up his camera to follow.
By the time we got to the City Hall steps, Hal was practically on his knees panting, despite the walk being all of two blocks. "Roxanne... wait..." he gasped, holding his chest. "Just... just think for a sec, would ya? Whew..." He bunched the collar of his T-shirt in his hand and used it as a makeshift handkerchief, giving me an ample view of his protruding belly as he lifted it up, leaving a wet spot on the neck line once he was finished. "You know this place is crawling with those flying plasma ball beartrap things, right?"
"Brain-bots?"
"Whatever," he said, dismissively waving his hand and attempting to haul both himself and the camera up the next step. "I'm just sayin', I don't think this is somethin' worth getting mauled to death over."
"Hal, that's just it!" I exclaimed holding my arms out. "Nothing is going to change as long as we just sit back and cower! We have to take risks! Metro Man is gone. We have to accept that no one is going to save us. Meaning we have to be willing to save ourselves."
I marched purposely up to the door while Hal sniffed and muttered behind me, "Yeah, so, how exactly is willfully wandering into a pack of mad killer robots 'saving ourselves'?" I rolled my eyes and opened the front door. We'd made it this far without any resistance, so maybe--
As soon as I opened the door, however, a pack of about a half dozen brain-bots burst through, their glowing eye-stalks twitching hungrily and immediately focusing on me and Hal. Hal let out a high-pitched shriek at a volume impressive for his previous windedness. I froze, keeping a cautious eye on them, but otherwise remaining calm. Hal hugged his camera and sobbed, "Oh god, I'm gonna die! Roxanne, I just want you to know that I've always--"
"Relax, Hal, I know how to handle them," I assured him, never taking my eyes off the small swarm before us. Gingerly, I held out my microphone, then offered, "Who wants the microphone? See? Microphooone." I waved it slowly and saw the brain-bots' eye-stalks curiously follow the object in my hand. Huh. I hadn't totally counted on this working, but I'd witnessed Megamind interact with his minions enough to catch on to their general behavior.
I tossed the microphone down the steps, and the brain-bots buzzed around me in pursuit, leaving the doorway clear. Hal peeked out over his camera, then cringed back again as the brain-bots descended on their prey and proceeded to rip the microphone to pieces. "Okay, that is totally coming out of your paycheck and not mine..."
With the guard-bots distracted, the two of us slipped inside and closed the door behind us. I had Hal immediately begin filming, as anything we found here might end up being a potential clue. Despite it being morning, the halls were eerily dark, and completely empty. This was weird, and didn't feel like Megamind's "presence" at all. I'd been dragged to dozens of different lairs over the years, and while he did tend to keep the atmosphere on the cold and damp side, they always felt, well, "lived-in". There had always been odds and ends hanging from everywhere, and usually some kind of oldies rock ambient music thumping in from somewhere. This place felt... like a vacuum. Hollow. Like the Metro Man Museum, only creepier.
Megamind... is... is this what you've become? Some kind of emotionless, uncaring void? I shivered a little at the thought. Even though he was a villain, he'd always had this... I don't know if I'd go so far as to call it "warmth", but... I dunno, that's the only term coming to mind at the moment. And the more I saw of this dark, cold place, the more I missed that warmth. The more I hated experiencing this and having to associate it with him. He'd murdered Metro Man, taken over the city, most likely bombed the museum... so why did it still feel like such a painful disappointment that that warmth was also gone?
We reached the end of the hallway to find the doors to the mayoral office burned and partially hanging off their hinges. Through the cracks, I could see a few rays of sunlight streaming in through the window, hilighting a thin haze of dust hanging in the air. I gulped nervously and held my shoulders firm. There would be no sneaking up on him, so there was no point in making any pretense of it.
With a deep breath, I pushed the door open and announced, "Megamind, you're--"
... not here. The office was completely abandoned save for a few scattered bills lying on the floor and smashed safes piled against the wall. He'd been here, certainly, but the fact that not only was he gone, but there was evidence that he'd stashed his loot here and now taken him with it meant that...
"He's abandoned City Hall," I breathed in relief. Why was I so relieved? I mean, obviously the fact that he had given up City Hall was a relief, but in another way, it also meant that the cold, empty atmosphere had been due to his lack of presence rather than the opposite.
"Sweet, so does that mean the guy's skipped town or something?" Hal wondered.
I jumped a bit, having completely forgotten that Hal was there. Was that even a possibility, though? Was the museum bombing some sort of "farewell" act? No, that didn't seem like Megamind. Then again, I didn't really know what I'd consider "like Megamind" anymore. He used to be so predictable, but now...
Clearing my throat, I told him, "No... no, I think he's just relocated. He left his brain-bots here, after all, and it's not like Megamind to just quit. And even if he has, well... we shouldn't just assume without any kind of solid proof." I let out a breath, instructing, "Hal, make sure you get a good sweep of the room with the camera so we can turn the footage in to the authorities. If we can prove that City Hall has been abandoned, we could start getting some semblance of government re-established."
Hal panned the camera around the room quickly, then whined, "Okay, so, yeah, are we done here yet? Cuz this place is really starting to creep me out."
I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I don't think there's much more we can do here. We just need to find out where Megamind's gone off to."
Suddenly, the forgotten pack of brain-bots burst through the door. The leader was carrying the mangled bits of my microphone and dropped it at my feet, looking at me expectantly. Hal held up his camera like a shield and squealed again, while I looked at the brain-bots with a decidedly more bemused expression. "Um, good brain-bot," I congratulated. "You wouldn't happen to be able to go fetch your boss, too, would you?" The brain-bot closest to me listed slightly to the side in what I could swear was a "quizzical dog" impression.
Well, no, I doubted it would be as easy as that. And although Megamind was no longer here, I doubted the city officials would care to share their offices with a pack of biting metal traps. They obviously listened to me, so if only there was a way to...
I hit upon an idea and glanced at Hal, who was still offering his camera as a sacrifice to spare his life. Well, if it got us to Megamind, I supposed a little wounded pride was an acceptable price. Turning back to the brain-bot, I took a breath, then patted my thighs, commanding, "Where's Daddy? Can you find Daddy? Go find Daddy!" The bots spun around and made a few excited bowg-bowg sounds before zipping out the door. Yes! Embarrassing or not, at least it worked.
"Come on Hal, we've got to follow them!" I beckoned him excitedly before running out the door after the retreating bots. Wow, talk about killing two birds with one stone. I raced outside, and to my dismay found that the brain-bots had dispersed high in the air, barely-noticeable specks of pink and blue hovering away in random directions. ... Damn, smarter than I thought. And with the van all the way on the other side of the plaza, there was no way to catch up to even one of them before I lost them entirely.
Hal came stumbling out the door a moment later, clutching his chest and wheezing dramatically. "Okay... man... this has been my workout for the day..." He slid his back down against the doorframe and groaned, "Roxy... this ain't gonna work. You know? I mean, you're just one chick, what difference can you possibly make?"
"No, Hal, we can't let Megamind win," I retorted sternly. "We're not giving up yet, there has to be a way to find him."
Hal lazily wiped the back of his hand over his forehead and let his arm flop to his side. "He's probably back at his secret hideout or something, so there's no point."
I paused a beat. Of course! Wow, getting one-upped by Hal, that was a new one. Still, credit where credit was due. "Hal, that's it! You're a genius!"
Hal sat up straight and looked at me dumbfounded, "I am? I mean, oooh yeah, even Megmind can't touch this intellect." He stood up and swaggered my way, either in an attempt to look suave, or because his legs were wobbly from all the running, I couldn't tell. "Just call me the Idea Guy."
"Yes! All we have to do is find his secret hideout."
"Yes!" Hal replied, equally enthusiastic, before going silent and the enthusiasm slowly draining from his face. "Uh, wait. See, I thought the whole point of 'secret hideout' was that it was, you know, not-findable. One does not simply walk into Evil Lair."
"I've been there, Hal, I'm sure I can find it," I reasoned, rubbing my fingers to my chin in thought. True, I'd been unconscious during my arrival and departure, so had no means to determine its location. But... come on, I'd been inside it, so I had more clues than anyone as to where it could be. If I didn't know what it looked like on the outside, then maybe looking at the inside and extrapolating...
"That's it!" I exclaimed. "Hal, when Megamind kidnapped me that last time, he set up an elaborate set to trick me into thinking I was inside the abandoned observatory. It even had a telescope and a view outside. So wherever he's at, it must have a dome on the roof!"
Hal casually glanced out over the city, then shrugged. "Okay, great. You wanna go that way, I'll go this way, and we'll check every building for domes, and meet back here in fifty years or so?"
I looked up at City Hall and scowled. Even City Hall had a dome, so for all I knew it could have been right here. Gazing back out across the reflecting pool at the demolished museum, I squinted my eyes and commented, "But... the view is wrong." Brightening up, I clapped my hands together and spun around, exclaiming, "That's it! Hal, I couldn't see the lair from the outside, but I could see the outside from the lair! It's... it's gotta be..."
I grabbed Hal by the arm and ran back into City Hall. "Agh, more with the running, what's with you?"
Inside the front lobby hung a large map of the city. Armed with a handful of thumbtacks snagged from a neighboring bulletin board, I thrust a red tack into the hill on the coast. "Okay, look, here's the observatory. Hal, I could see the observatory from the lair, so..." I held my hands in front of my face perpendicular to the ground to mimic the view from the lair, lining them up with the map. "The water... the water was to the left, so I had to have been north of the observatory..." My finger trailed up before hesitating and trailing back down. Dammit, why did they always hang these maps upside-down? Down, across the harbor into...
"The Industrial District," I concluded. I held my hand against the map, the edge of my palm forming a line between the observatory and Metro Tower. "I couldn't see the skyline in the background, so that means..." I rotated my hand using the observatory tack as an axis until my fingertips had swept clear of downtown, the remainder of my hand covering the portion of the Industrial District from which downtown would have been visible if looking in the direction of the observatory. All that was left showing on the map were a few scant blocks of the tail of land that swept out into the water north of the city.
Smirking triumphantly, I held aloft a blue thumbtack and planted it in the map. "Gotcha..." I whirled around, clenching my fist. "Let's put these nosy reporter skills to work."
Hal backed away hesitantly. "Whoa whoa whoa, sis, let's take it easy a bit here. I mean, I did save you from flying killer robots already today, but maybe we shouldn't push our luck. Cuz, let's face it. We're no heroes."
"Anyone can be a hero, Hal," I retorted, putting my hands on my hips. Ugh, he was always such a downer. He was rapidly sapping my inspiration, and I was not going to cave in to his pessimism like I did back at Megamind's initial overtaking of the city. Oh, how I wished for a more enthusiastic partner...
... Bernard! Bernard had been the one to inspire me in the first place, and given that he was the curator of the Metro Man Museum, he might even have some vested interest in staking out Megamind's hideout. If I could somehow get him to team up with us...
But... I didn't know how to get in contact with him. He obviously wasn't coming in to work today, and I didn't even know his last name, much less his address or phone number. The museum's website might have his office phone number, but due to that first setback, that wasn't going to help me much.
Whatever, I'd think of something on the way there. We didn't have any time to waste. I dragged the grumbling Hal back to the van and instructed him to head in the general direction of the Industrial District while I set the location I'd marked on the map in the van's GPS.
As I tapped away at the laptop in an attempt to track down Bernard's contact information, a sudden thought occurred to me. I'd... interviewed him, right? If we aired it, that meant that he'd signed a waiver with the station, possibly including personal contact information in the event a follow-up was requested. I pulled up the interview records and typed "Bernard" into the search field, narrowing the search dates to within a few weeks of the museum's opening. A half-dozen possibilities popped up, and I scanned through their contents until I found one with "Metro Man Museum, Curator" listed as "occupation". Yes! That has to be it! Okay, scroll down, office phone... office hours... cell phone!
I whipped out my own cell phone and hastily typed in the number. My thumb hovered over the "call" button, but I had the sudden thought... Would he find it creepy that I'd dug into company records to pull up his phone number and was now calling him out of the blue for a non-work-related matter? It kind of reeked of desperation, but... these were desperate times, weren't they? I mean, it's not like I was calling him to ask him out or anything. I'd just--
I had to fumble with my phone as it nearly flew out of my hands when Hal hit the brakes quite suddenly. I looked to him with a confused expression, before he nodded his head out the front window. "So... this the dome we're looking for?"
And there it was. Giant and looming in the early morning sun, an abandoned power plant with a hastily-constructed and decidedly architecturally pointless dome atop it, still surrounded by scaffolding. I looked out over the water and saw the remains of the observatory, in the same orientation and location that I'd remembered from that fateful afternoon. There was no doubt about it. This was the place.
I retrieved the digital camera from the glove box and switched in a fresh memory card, good for a few hundred pictures. All right, Megamind. Your uncontested rule is about to get a taste of espionage. "Ready the camera, Hal. We're going in."
He sniffed. "Okay, but if you get vaporized, don't say I didn't warn you." I gave him a flat look and punched the "call" button on my phone decisively as I got out of the car. Time for a better conversation partner. I just hoped I wasn't waking him up.
The phone rang a few times and I began to worry that he really was still asleep. Just as I was about to give up, though, I heard it pick up. A hesitant voice on the other end answered, "Ollo?"
I blinked. Was he... expecting a call from overseas or something? Was this even the right number? A moment later, he corrected, "Oh, hello?"
"Bernard, it's Roxanne," I said, a little more excitedly than I'd intended. "I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day."
"Oh! You inspired me, too," he responded pleasantly. Oh, good, so he's not upset about me calling him all of a sudden. This'll make things a lot easier.
"Great! It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around," I declared. If I could at least inspire him into action, maybe eventually we could inspire others and topple Megamind through sheer force of numbers. But for now, something to rattle his nerves would do. Something to show him that Metro Citizens wouldn't go down without a fight.
Glancing around, realizing that Megamind could quite possibly have the entire area bugged, I held my hand over my phone and whispered, "I'm already hot on his trail."
"And what gives you that idea?" he wondered.
Ha, he's not gonna believe this. "I just found his secret hideout!"
There was some unintelligible muffling on the other end. Maybe he dropped his phone in shock. I was certainly shocked that all the clues managed to fall together so well. It really was amazing what we could do if we really put our minds to it. Finally, his voice returned to the line and he calmly wondered, "How did you find his hideout?"
I had to laugh a little at the obviousness of it all now that I'd found it. "This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof!"
Silence again. Though, maybe I'd called him a bit prematurely, because even though I'd found what was most definitely the hideout, I wasn't seeing any manner of doorway. There was probably a secret entrance somewhere, but certainly it wouldn't be so obvious as to be labelled with a doormat reading "Secret Entrance" or something.
And it wasn't. The doormat said "Secrit Entrance", actually.
I tested my hand against the wall and found it to be a hologram that allowed me to pass right through. I heard more commotion on the other end of the phone that might have been interference caused by the holographic projection, but I heard something that sounded like "Dim-witted creation of science!"
"What?" I wondered in to the phone.
"Oh, not you, Roxanne," Bernard's voice finally returned. "I was just yelling at my... mother's urn. Don't do anything, I'll be right there."
Well, it's not like I was calling him to come save me or anything. I didn't need saving anymore. This time I was going to be the hero. And Megamind would never know what hit him.
To recap: The movie, told from Roxanne's perspective, with a ton of extra stuff filled in to examine her mindset and character progression.
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
"Breaking news this morning from the Metro City Plaza. Late last night, the centerpiece statue of the Metro Man Museum was destroyed in an apparent terrorist bombing. No casualties were reported, and so far no one has come forward to claim responsibility for this act or make any demands. With all government agencies currently shut down, investigation into this incident has been stalled, but stay tuned to KMCP Channel 8 for the latest as this story develops."
I lowered my microphone and sighed as Hal cut the camera. It was plain as day who was responsible for this, but objective journalism is objective journalism, and I couldn't rightfully call Megamind out on it without any hard evidence. Unfortunately, as I'd stated, there was no one available to collect that evidence. It had been 6 hours since the bombing, yet there wasn't even a wisp of crime scene tape or a single forensic investigator on the scene. These people may not be on the job at the moment, but they still existed, right? Wasn't anyone in this city willing to put their skills to use to combat this, even if they weren't getting paid for it? Or had Metro Man's violent death left us so terrified that something like a terrorist attack didn't even register as being worth looking into?
Hal toddled down the steps, clumsily sidestepping debris, hastily saying, "Okay, this has been really exciting and all, but I really think we should get out of here before an afterbomb goes off or something."
"Afterbomb?" I repeated in confusion.
"Yeah, you know," he replied, cocking his head. "Okay, it's like, you know like when there's an earthquake, and after the earthquake there's, like, aftershocks or something? Because there's more earthquake in the ground that didn't come up yet, right? So, like, when there's bombs, sometimes there's bomb parts that don't blow up until later, so they're like... afterbombs."
Um... okay? I wasn't exactly an expert in explosives so I couldn't really refute that. But because of said deficiency in my knowledge, sticking around here to investigate in place of the professional bomb squads was out of the question. Google was no substitute for actual expertise in matters such as this.
I rubbed my chin in thought. Investigating the crime scene for evidence to incontrovertibly point back to Megamind was a bit out of my league, but investigating Megamind to point back the other way, on the other hand...
Hal broke into my thoughts, casually interjecting, "You know, it's a good thing we left when we did last night, am I right? Cuz, I mean, if we stayed here much longer, we might've..."
"Hal, I was still here last night when it happened," I cut him off.
He stood still for a moment, awkward and wide-eyed. After a minute, he mouthed a choked "Oh..." and remained uncomfortably silent again for a moment, fidgeting his arms against his sides. "Well, I mean, you obviously made it out okay, seeing as you're, you know, standing right here and all..." he laughed a little nervously.
I held up my hand. "I was lucky, that's all. Hal, this is getting serious. Megamind's actions have become progressively more unstable since he killed Metro Man, and I just... I don't think this is the last of it. I think he's got something even bigger planned, and this was just some sort of... rehearsal. A warning shot, maybe. Hal, if we don't find out what he's up to, the next time we might not be so lucky."
"Whoa whoa, connection time out here..." Hal said, waving his hands. "First off, what's this 'we' you're talkin' about? You? And me? Against Megamind? Okay, what, are we just gonna, like, bust down his door or somethin' and steal all his plans?"
I pointed at him decisively and grinned. "That is exactly what we're going to do." My finger moved from him to the building across the reflecting pool and announced, "Megamind is about to have some surprise visitors." Hal's arms dropped dumbfoundedly to his sides as I trotted past him down the steps and began to make my way across the plaza towards City Hall. Hal made some unintelligible noises behind me, then hefted up his camera to follow.
By the time we got to the City Hall steps, Hal was practically on his knees panting, despite the walk being all of two blocks. "Roxanne... wait..." he gasped, holding his chest. "Just... just think for a sec, would ya? Whew..." He bunched the collar of his T-shirt in his hand and used it as a makeshift handkerchief, giving me an ample view of his protruding belly as he lifted it up, leaving a wet spot on the neck line once he was finished. "You know this place is crawling with those flying plasma ball beartrap things, right?"
"Brain-bots?"
"Whatever," he said, dismissively waving his hand and attempting to haul both himself and the camera up the next step. "I'm just sayin', I don't think this is somethin' worth getting mauled to death over."
"Hal, that's just it!" I exclaimed holding my arms out. "Nothing is going to change as long as we just sit back and cower! We have to take risks! Metro Man is gone. We have to accept that no one is going to save us. Meaning we have to be willing to save ourselves."
I marched purposely up to the door while Hal sniffed and muttered behind me, "Yeah, so, how exactly is willfully wandering into a pack of mad killer robots 'saving ourselves'?" I rolled my eyes and opened the front door. We'd made it this far without any resistance, so maybe--
As soon as I opened the door, however, a pack of about a half dozen brain-bots burst through, their glowing eye-stalks twitching hungrily and immediately focusing on me and Hal. Hal let out a high-pitched shriek at a volume impressive for his previous windedness. I froze, keeping a cautious eye on them, but otherwise remaining calm. Hal hugged his camera and sobbed, "Oh god, I'm gonna die! Roxanne, I just want you to know that I've always--"
"Relax, Hal, I know how to handle them," I assured him, never taking my eyes off the small swarm before us. Gingerly, I held out my microphone, then offered, "Who wants the microphone? See? Microphooone." I waved it slowly and saw the brain-bots' eye-stalks curiously follow the object in my hand. Huh. I hadn't totally counted on this working, but I'd witnessed Megamind interact with his minions enough to catch on to their general behavior.
I tossed the microphone down the steps, and the brain-bots buzzed around me in pursuit, leaving the doorway clear. Hal peeked out over his camera, then cringed back again as the brain-bots descended on their prey and proceeded to rip the microphone to pieces. "Okay, that is totally coming out of your paycheck and not mine..."
With the guard-bots distracted, the two of us slipped inside and closed the door behind us. I had Hal immediately begin filming, as anything we found here might end up being a potential clue. Despite it being morning, the halls were eerily dark, and completely empty. This was weird, and didn't feel like Megamind's "presence" at all. I'd been dragged to dozens of different lairs over the years, and while he did tend to keep the atmosphere on the cold and damp side, they always felt, well, "lived-in". There had always been odds and ends hanging from everywhere, and usually some kind of oldies rock ambient music thumping in from somewhere. This place felt... like a vacuum. Hollow. Like the Metro Man Museum, only creepier.
Megamind... is... is this what you've become? Some kind of emotionless, uncaring void? I shivered a little at the thought. Even though he was a villain, he'd always had this... I don't know if I'd go so far as to call it "warmth", but... I dunno, that's the only term coming to mind at the moment. And the more I saw of this dark, cold place, the more I missed that warmth. The more I hated experiencing this and having to associate it with him. He'd murdered Metro Man, taken over the city, most likely bombed the museum... so why did it still feel like such a painful disappointment that that warmth was also gone?
We reached the end of the hallway to find the doors to the mayoral office burned and partially hanging off their hinges. Through the cracks, I could see a few rays of sunlight streaming in through the window, hilighting a thin haze of dust hanging in the air. I gulped nervously and held my shoulders firm. There would be no sneaking up on him, so there was no point in making any pretense of it.
With a deep breath, I pushed the door open and announced, "Megamind, you're--"
... not here. The office was completely abandoned save for a few scattered bills lying on the floor and smashed safes piled against the wall. He'd been here, certainly, but the fact that not only was he gone, but there was evidence that he'd stashed his loot here and now taken him with it meant that...
"He's abandoned City Hall," I breathed in relief. Why was I so relieved? I mean, obviously the fact that he had given up City Hall was a relief, but in another way, it also meant that the cold, empty atmosphere had been due to his lack of presence rather than the opposite.
"Sweet, so does that mean the guy's skipped town or something?" Hal wondered.
I jumped a bit, having completely forgotten that Hal was there. Was that even a possibility, though? Was the museum bombing some sort of "farewell" act? No, that didn't seem like Megamind. Then again, I didn't really know what I'd consider "like Megamind" anymore. He used to be so predictable, but now...
Clearing my throat, I told him, "No... no, I think he's just relocated. He left his brain-bots here, after all, and it's not like Megamind to just quit. And even if he has, well... we shouldn't just assume without any kind of solid proof." I let out a breath, instructing, "Hal, make sure you get a good sweep of the room with the camera so we can turn the footage in to the authorities. If we can prove that City Hall has been abandoned, we could start getting some semblance of government re-established."
Hal panned the camera around the room quickly, then whined, "Okay, so, yeah, are we done here yet? Cuz this place is really starting to creep me out."
I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I don't think there's much more we can do here. We just need to find out where Megamind's gone off to."
Suddenly, the forgotten pack of brain-bots burst through the door. The leader was carrying the mangled bits of my microphone and dropped it at my feet, looking at me expectantly. Hal held up his camera like a shield and squealed again, while I looked at the brain-bots with a decidedly more bemused expression. "Um, good brain-bot," I congratulated. "You wouldn't happen to be able to go fetch your boss, too, would you?" The brain-bot closest to me listed slightly to the side in what I could swear was a "quizzical dog" impression.
Well, no, I doubted it would be as easy as that. And although Megamind was no longer here, I doubted the city officials would care to share their offices with a pack of biting metal traps. They obviously listened to me, so if only there was a way to...
I hit upon an idea and glanced at Hal, who was still offering his camera as a sacrifice to spare his life. Well, if it got us to Megamind, I supposed a little wounded pride was an acceptable price. Turning back to the brain-bot, I took a breath, then patted my thighs, commanding, "Where's Daddy? Can you find Daddy? Go find Daddy!" The bots spun around and made a few excited bowg-bowg sounds before zipping out the door. Yes! Embarrassing or not, at least it worked.
"Come on Hal, we've got to follow them!" I beckoned him excitedly before running out the door after the retreating bots. Wow, talk about killing two birds with one stone. I raced outside, and to my dismay found that the brain-bots had dispersed high in the air, barely-noticeable specks of pink and blue hovering away in random directions. ... Damn, smarter than I thought. And with the van all the way on the other side of the plaza, there was no way to catch up to even one of them before I lost them entirely.
Hal came stumbling out the door a moment later, clutching his chest and wheezing dramatically. "Okay... man... this has been my workout for the day..." He slid his back down against the doorframe and groaned, "Roxy... this ain't gonna work. You know? I mean, you're just one chick, what difference can you possibly make?"
"No, Hal, we can't let Megamind win," I retorted sternly. "We're not giving up yet, there has to be a way to find him."
Hal lazily wiped the back of his hand over his forehead and let his arm flop to his side. "He's probably back at his secret hideout or something, so there's no point."
I paused a beat. Of course! Wow, getting one-upped by Hal, that was a new one. Still, credit where credit was due. "Hal, that's it! You're a genius!"
Hal sat up straight and looked at me dumbfounded, "I am? I mean, oooh yeah, even Megmind can't touch this intellect." He stood up and swaggered my way, either in an attempt to look suave, or because his legs were wobbly from all the running, I couldn't tell. "Just call me the Idea Guy."
"Yes! All we have to do is find his secret hideout."
"Yes!" Hal replied, equally enthusiastic, before going silent and the enthusiasm slowly draining from his face. "Uh, wait. See, I thought the whole point of 'secret hideout' was that it was, you know, not-findable. One does not simply walk into Evil Lair."
"I've been there, Hal, I'm sure I can find it," I reasoned, rubbing my fingers to my chin in thought. True, I'd been unconscious during my arrival and departure, so had no means to determine its location. But... come on, I'd been inside it, so I had more clues than anyone as to where it could be. If I didn't know what it looked like on the outside, then maybe looking at the inside and extrapolating...
"That's it!" I exclaimed. "Hal, when Megamind kidnapped me that last time, he set up an elaborate set to trick me into thinking I was inside the abandoned observatory. It even had a telescope and a view outside. So wherever he's at, it must have a dome on the roof!"
Hal casually glanced out over the city, then shrugged. "Okay, great. You wanna go that way, I'll go this way, and we'll check every building for domes, and meet back here in fifty years or so?"
I looked up at City Hall and scowled. Even City Hall had a dome, so for all I knew it could have been right here. Gazing back out across the reflecting pool at the demolished museum, I squinted my eyes and commented, "But... the view is wrong." Brightening up, I clapped my hands together and spun around, exclaiming, "That's it! Hal, I couldn't see the lair from the outside, but I could see the outside from the lair! It's... it's gotta be..."
I grabbed Hal by the arm and ran back into City Hall. "Agh, more with the running, what's with you?"
Inside the front lobby hung a large map of the city. Armed with a handful of thumbtacks snagged from a neighboring bulletin board, I thrust a red tack into the hill on the coast. "Okay, look, here's the observatory. Hal, I could see the observatory from the lair, so..." I held my hands in front of my face perpendicular to the ground to mimic the view from the lair, lining them up with the map. "The water... the water was to the left, so I had to have been north of the observatory..." My finger trailed up before hesitating and trailing back down. Dammit, why did they always hang these maps upside-down? Down, across the harbor into...
"The Industrial District," I concluded. I held my hand against the map, the edge of my palm forming a line between the observatory and Metro Tower. "I couldn't see the skyline in the background, so that means..." I rotated my hand using the observatory tack as an axis until my fingertips had swept clear of downtown, the remainder of my hand covering the portion of the Industrial District from which downtown would have been visible if looking in the direction of the observatory. All that was left showing on the map were a few scant blocks of the tail of land that swept out into the water north of the city.
Smirking triumphantly, I held aloft a blue thumbtack and planted it in the map. "Gotcha..." I whirled around, clenching my fist. "Let's put these nosy reporter skills to work."
Hal backed away hesitantly. "Whoa whoa whoa, sis, let's take it easy a bit here. I mean, I did save you from flying killer robots already today, but maybe we shouldn't push our luck. Cuz, let's face it. We're no heroes."
"Anyone can be a hero, Hal," I retorted, putting my hands on my hips. Ugh, he was always such a downer. He was rapidly sapping my inspiration, and I was not going to cave in to his pessimism like I did back at Megamind's initial overtaking of the city. Oh, how I wished for a more enthusiastic partner...
... Bernard! Bernard had been the one to inspire me in the first place, and given that he was the curator of the Metro Man Museum, he might even have some vested interest in staking out Megamind's hideout. If I could somehow get him to team up with us...
But... I didn't know how to get in contact with him. He obviously wasn't coming in to work today, and I didn't even know his last name, much less his address or phone number. The museum's website might have his office phone number, but due to that first setback, that wasn't going to help me much.
Whatever, I'd think of something on the way there. We didn't have any time to waste. I dragged the grumbling Hal back to the van and instructed him to head in the general direction of the Industrial District while I set the location I'd marked on the map in the van's GPS.
As I tapped away at the laptop in an attempt to track down Bernard's contact information, a sudden thought occurred to me. I'd... interviewed him, right? If we aired it, that meant that he'd signed a waiver with the station, possibly including personal contact information in the event a follow-up was requested. I pulled up the interview records and typed "Bernard" into the search field, narrowing the search dates to within a few weeks of the museum's opening. A half-dozen possibilities popped up, and I scanned through their contents until I found one with "Metro Man Museum, Curator" listed as "occupation". Yes! That has to be it! Okay, scroll down, office phone... office hours... cell phone!
I whipped out my own cell phone and hastily typed in the number. My thumb hovered over the "call" button, but I had the sudden thought... Would he find it creepy that I'd dug into company records to pull up his phone number and was now calling him out of the blue for a non-work-related matter? It kind of reeked of desperation, but... these were desperate times, weren't they? I mean, it's not like I was calling him to ask him out or anything. I'd just--
I had to fumble with my phone as it nearly flew out of my hands when Hal hit the brakes quite suddenly. I looked to him with a confused expression, before he nodded his head out the front window. "So... this the dome we're looking for?"
And there it was. Giant and looming in the early morning sun, an abandoned power plant with a hastily-constructed and decidedly architecturally pointless dome atop it, still surrounded by scaffolding. I looked out over the water and saw the remains of the observatory, in the same orientation and location that I'd remembered from that fateful afternoon. There was no doubt about it. This was the place.
I retrieved the digital camera from the glove box and switched in a fresh memory card, good for a few hundred pictures. All right, Megamind. Your uncontested rule is about to get a taste of espionage. "Ready the camera, Hal. We're going in."
He sniffed. "Okay, but if you get vaporized, don't say I didn't warn you." I gave him a flat look and punched the "call" button on my phone decisively as I got out of the car. Time for a better conversation partner. I just hoped I wasn't waking him up.
The phone rang a few times and I began to worry that he really was still asleep. Just as I was about to give up, though, I heard it pick up. A hesitant voice on the other end answered, "Ollo?"
I blinked. Was he... expecting a call from overseas or something? Was this even the right number? A moment later, he corrected, "Oh, hello?"
"Bernard, it's Roxanne," I said, a little more excitedly than I'd intended. "I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day."
"Oh! You inspired me, too," he responded pleasantly. Oh, good, so he's not upset about me calling him all of a sudden. This'll make things a lot easier.
"Great! It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around," I declared. If I could at least inspire him into action, maybe eventually we could inspire others and topple Megamind through sheer force of numbers. But for now, something to rattle his nerves would do. Something to show him that Metro Citizens wouldn't go down without a fight.
Glancing around, realizing that Megamind could quite possibly have the entire area bugged, I held my hand over my phone and whispered, "I'm already hot on his trail."
"And what gives you that idea?" he wondered.
Ha, he's not gonna believe this. "I just found his secret hideout!"
There was some unintelligible muffling on the other end. Maybe he dropped his phone in shock. I was certainly shocked that all the clues managed to fall together so well. It really was amazing what we could do if we really put our minds to it. Finally, his voice returned to the line and he calmly wondered, "How did you find his hideout?"
I had to laugh a little at the obviousness of it all now that I'd found it. "This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof!"
Silence again. Though, maybe I'd called him a bit prematurely, because even though I'd found what was most definitely the hideout, I wasn't seeing any manner of doorway. There was probably a secret entrance somewhere, but certainly it wouldn't be so obvious as to be labelled with a doormat reading "Secret Entrance" or something.
And it wasn't. The doormat said "Secrit Entrance", actually.
I tested my hand against the wall and found it to be a hologram that allowed me to pass right through. I heard more commotion on the other end of the phone that might have been interference caused by the holographic projection, but I heard something that sounded like "Dim-witted creation of science!"
"What?" I wondered in to the phone.
"Oh, not you, Roxanne," Bernard's voice finally returned. "I was just yelling at my... mother's urn. Don't do anything, I'll be right there."
Well, it's not like I was calling him to come save me or anything. I didn't need saving anymore. This time I was going to be the hero. And Megamind would never know what hit him.