Now to that OTHER mancave!
Author: Roki
Title: Fix You (Chapter 3 of 10)
Characters: Roxanne, Megamind, Metroman.
Summary: In which they discover an apparition, which must speak.
Chapter One:
Not a day goes by that I don't know that I'm dying.Chapter Two:
I went to the desert, I was searching for the truth. She couldn't help it, she spun around - shrieking as she did so - seized the cup of pens, and quite nearly threw the whole thing at his conveniently large target of a head. As it was all of them and the now confirmed half of a doughnut spilled onto the floor like tiny number two missiles covered in jam.
Megamind just stared at her with drooping eyes, clutching a tall glass of orange juice in one hand while the other gripped the door frame and blocked her exit. The hand on the frame she noticed was shaking, possibly in anger, and she felt a stab of fear course through her veins again. Up until very recently she was convinced he was evil, it not maliciously so. It was up in the air whether he would take this offense as reason to become less than gentle with her.
"Ms Ritchi. I have to ask again, why are you up here?" he didn't sound angry, so much as tired.
Roxanne put the cup down where she had gotten it, wincing when it tipped and bounced off the floor, rolling to stop at his feet. He looked down at it as if disappointed in its inability to stay put. The brainbot chose this moment to hide behind her. Coward.
Roxanne sucked in her breath, drawing his attention back to her. "I was..." A lie about looking for the bathroom died on her tongue under his scrutiny. "Alright, I was snooping."
He smiled faintly at that. "I appreciate the honesty. Looks like your nosy reporter skills have paid off," he puffed out his chest, but only really succeeded in looking very awkward in her now bloodstained koi fish shirt. "Behold, you have discovered my place of rest and solitude. Except for Minion."
He took a long drink of his orange juice, draining the glass, and crossed on shaking legs to point at the pictures she had been inspecting. She noted that the arm that had been clutching the doorway was clenched into a trembling fist, clutching the shirt fabric. She scratched the idea of him being angry.
Though it was still a little nerve wracking to have him standing so close to her, his eyes carefully directed at the wall. She noticed he was a little paler than she would have liked. He was also still radiating heat and sweat slicked the t-shirt close to his skin at his back, though he was shivering a little bit.
"Had to keep tabs on you, favorite hostage and all, you understand. It's...It WAS business. And inspiration," his free hand touched the worn side of the drafting table fondly.
Roxanne kept her tongue, tense and ready to move out of reach if need be.
He seemed to notice. "No need to be afraid. I'm not angry, just confused. But if you would do me a favor I would appreciate your assistance," he shifted around her to sit on the stool.
"I...Yeah. Sure."
"Excellent," he let his shaking hand rest on his thigh. "I find myself completely unable to get back down the stairs, so if you would be so kind as to get me a glass of orange juice and dump about half a cup of sugar into it I would be most grateful." He was trying to be smooth but she could see how he swayed on the stool. "The brainbots have an unfortunate tendency to spill cups."
Roxanne just nodded and went back down the stairs, it wouldn't hurt to fill the one request. She hardly noticed her little brainbot friend making a quick get away behind her. After all, she had just tended to his wounds, driven him back home, then wasted an hour waiting for him to wake back up. It really couldn't get any more screwed up now unless they started to inexplicably make out. Even that she wasn't sure where she stood on at this point, she was torn between feeling sorry for him and hating him for all the pain he had put her through. She would have time to sort out those feelings later though, for now she got his orange juice and sugar. As an extra measure she grabbed a box of granola bars she spied peeking out of one of the Trader Joe's sacks before returning to his bedroom, if it could have been called that.
He sat where she had left him, but it looked as though the tremors had gotten worse. As soon as he saw her his fist gripped his thigh hard in an effort to stop the shaking. She wordlessly gave him the glass and watched in fascination as he gulped it like a man dying of thirst in the desert. For all she knew he was.
"Ohh," he exhaled, putting this glass next to the last one, sugar still slipping down the glass to settle in the bottom in a sickly smelling slush. "And you brought granola bars too!" he sounded so excited, like a little kid. She couldn't help the bemused smile that drifted across her face as she gave him the box, which he promptly tore open and began devouring the contents in the least polite and dignified manner she had ever born witness to. Did he always eat like this? She had to wonder.
She stood there, awkwardly looming near the threshold while he finished the entire box off in what must have been ten minutes. Then he very tidily plucked up the wrappers, folded them in half, and placed them inside the torn box. "Much better," he flexed his arm experimentally, frowning at its quivering.
"It's the rebuilt muscle, it causes muscle spasms for a couple hours afterward," he explained, opening and closing shaking fingers. "It also causes weakness, a drop in blood sugar, and is poisonous if used more than once every twenty-four hours."
"Ah," she couldn't think of anything else to say in response. She hovered there, unsure if she should or could leave now or not.
"Titan is a problem."
Way to completely understate the obvious, she thought sarcastically.
"You knew Metroman best, did he have a secret hide out? A lair? A solitary fortress?" he licked his lips and looked back up at her. "Anyplace he might have hidden away his secrets, his weaknesses?"
"Well, there might be one place...He took me there once to get away from all the cameras," she tapped her chin thoughtfully.
"Take me there, I need to see it."
"If it'll help us figure out how to stop Titan..."
"Oh it will," he paused and a flush came up to his cheeks. "But first let me get dressed."
---
Dressed had involved a fresh skin tight spandex suit and discovering to his shock and horror that his only remaining cape had holes in it. So now here he was, substituting with a black blanket tied about his shoulders. Roxanne found it more than a tad ridiculous.
She couldn't say it wasn't cute in its own way though. Just a little.
The schoolhouse wasn't that far outside of town, but it was just far enough for the silence between them to become uncomfortable.
"So, if you gave Titan his powers why can't you take them away?" Best to stick with a neutral subject, keep him thinking on solutions.
He sighed, almost as though relieved to have the silence broken. "I can't...I lost my defusing gun when I forgot where I parked the invisible car."
Him? Forget something? He didn't so much as forget the anniversary of her first kidnapping (he always gave her a little pin, of himself of course, to commemorate) or her birthday (a cupcake, every time) or even that one time she had been in the running to win a prize for one of her articles (a live clover in a hand painted pot). It was strange how considerate he could be in between all the kidnappings, grand standing, and generally being a massive pain in the rear.
"The night you dumped me," he continued after a pause.
She didn't like where this was going. Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel as she slowed down, seeing the schoolhouse just ahead.
"Alone. In the rain."
She gritted her teeth.
"...Did you even look back?"
She slammed on the brakes and was gratified by the thump of him hitting the dash. "AAHH! My GIANT BLUE HEAD!"
"Oops, I guess we're here!" she snapped, turning to look at him as he scrambled up off the floorboard. She grimaced, feeling a little sorry for bruising him up after having helped him in the process of recovery, but she would be damned if he didn't deserve it. Seeing that he was okay she wordlessly exited the van.
He joined her shortly, rubbing his forehead with a hurt expression. "What was...Oh," he looked up at the school with green eyes wide. "After all these years, this is where he hid it...My old shool house..."
"You went to school together? Were you playmates or something?" Roxanne forgot to be angry at him with that additional tidbit of information.
"Oh yes," Megamind sneered at the red building, hands on his hips. "It was...loads of fun being the last one picked for everything."
"Alright," she held her hands up defensively. "Don't have to bite my head off," she scowled, brushing past him and inside, heading directly to the teacher's desk. Megamind followed her slowly. When she pulled the dusty teacher's bell forward to open the trap door under the rug she looked back and noticed him staring into a corner, brow furrowed. She snorted and brushed it off as his being curious about the structure, leading the way down the stairs.
Abruptly he swept past her, bounding down the hall like he hadn't been as weak as a kitten just an hour ago. "You had better hang back, there might be booby traps!" he called. His body language told her he was fascinated with his surroundings now, and when they reached the door at the end of the hall he fell back into puzzle mode, attempting to figure it out without touching it.
"You know, I think an apology is in order..." The subject needed to be broached, and now felt like as good a time as any.
"Alright, but make it quick! We have work to do!" He reached out to stroke the door lightly along the seam, his still shaking hand out to caution her back.
"...for the other night," she ground out through her teeth.
He didn't seem to hear her. He had seized on the the padlocks, given it several quick twists, moved a bar, and had the door open. "HA! Ha ha ha ha ha!" he cackled gleefully. "His birthday! What a sap, that's the kind of combination some idiot puts on their luggage...Pfft, who makes any significant date their combination anymore? Really, I ask you..."
Roxanne made a note to change her bike lock combination from her mother's birthday in between seething thoughts of possibly strangling the blue creep. She trailed him into the opulent pad Metroman had once cultivated for himself, glaring at his back as he meandered around the place completely enthralled.
How could she have ever cared about this strange man? Apparently the fact they were walking around a dead man's house was not affecting him the same way it was her. It was a little creepy, and it was giving her chills up her spine that had nothing to do with the air conditioning.
"I remember when he wore this..." he sounded far away.
"Hey! Can we just focus here?" Roxanne sighed, if he was going to have a trip down memory lane now was not the time. They'd wasted enough of that already.
"Right, right! Of course!" he nodded and continued to peruse the shelves for clues.
Roxanne rolled her eyes and noticed something on the table that caught her eye. Leaning down for a closer look she noticed it was just a glass of water, beads of condensation dripping down its sides and ice cubes floating in the liquid.
Wait. This was bad. They might not be alone here.
"Hey, come over here and look at this," she hissed.
Of course he had no subtlety and raced over as loudly as possible, tripping over himself in the process. "What is it! What did you find?!" he looked thrilled.
She stared at him, a little appalled to find him wearing the cape he had been eyeballing earlier. How tasteless. "Right...Look at this glass, there are ice cubes in it."
"Yes, that's what happens when water gets cold," he blinked at it owlishly.
Roxanne swatted him in the shoulder and put a finger up to his lips to silence his protest. He looked so taken aback she half regretted initiating contact like that.
"Wouldn't the ice have melted if it had been left here since the beginning of May?" she whispered.
"Ohhhh, I get it..." he whispered back. "They might be around here in the near vici-" Then she heard it and held up a hand to shush him.
Somewhere down the other hall came the most awful racket. It sounded like an electric sander being taken to a bad Elvis impersonator's face.
Megamind stood up stiffly and drew his de-hydration gun from its holster, hastily switching hands when his left quivered too much to be of any use to him. He gestured for Roxanne to get behind him, his expression serious and focused. She was a little touched he would think to protect her, despite his selfish and arrogant tendencies. Maybe he had some glimmer of good in him under all the annoyances. For her part she picked up one of the numerous guitars Metroman had collected, holding it by the neck like an axe. She edged behind him as he slipped down the hall, pressing the wall.
He looked back at her and grimaced, gesturing for her to go back to the main room. She shook her head. "What are you- Go back!" he hissed. "This could be dangerous!"
"Fat chance, you need back up," she whispered back, her fingers gripping the guitar tighter.
"But-! But you could get hurt," he looked so honestly pained at that prospect it melted some of the ice around her heart. He put his hand over hers, lowering the instrument-turned-weapon to the floor. "Please."
Okay, so he could be charming, she had to give him that. She steeled herself though and shook her head. "No way."
That was when the singing and sanding noises stopped and they both froze, afraid to even breathe.
It seemed like an eternity before the sounds started again and they could both gasp quietly.
"Alright, fine, just...be careful," he frowned at her, letting her hands go and turning around to stalk down the hallway.
"Can't let you have all the fun," she tried at a little humor to his retreating back.
He stopped and held up a hand just outside a doorway. She tensed, guitar at the ready. He cast her a glance over his shoulder, nodded once, and they sprung out to either side of the doorway.
"HA!" Megamind defaulted to his usual laugh, brandishing his gun.
Roxanne gave a wordless cry, raising the guitar just in time to smash it directly into Metroman's unsuspecting head. He dropped the electric sander he had been shaving with, looked at them both in absolute shock, then at the splintered remains in Roxanne's hands - still vibrating from the impact.
"NO! Not my Les Paul!" Metroman cried.
Roxanne and Megamind screamed. Then Megamind shot Metroman with the de-hydrate function, which bounced off his skin and dehydrated the still running sander which had been creeping way too close to Roxanne's toes for comfort. Then they screamed some more. Then they ran down the hallway, through the main chamber, and clear up the stairs where they hurriedly shut the secret trap door.
It took several minutes before they had sufficiently recovered enough to look at each other.
"Was that...?" Roxanne started.
"...A perfect clone? I was thinking the same thing!" Megamind's eyes widened. "This is fascinating! And quite possibly bad."
"No, I mean was that-"
"-me?" Metroman asked sheepishly, opening the trap door with barely any effort behind it.
More screaming ensued.
Next Chapter:
When I'm too far gone, dead in the eyes of my friends.