Fanfic: The Successful Failures of El Mentedor, Chapter 4
Title: The Successful Failures of El Mentedor: Chapter 4
Word Count: About 1,600
Rating: PG for violence and references to sex.
Genre: AU/Comedy/Western
Summary: A Western AU with characters based on those from the movie Megamind.
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
FBI Warning: So, my brave attempt to cowardly flee to Uzbekistan was thwarted when I realized I didn’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket. The stress of this whole ordeal had gotten to be all too much, so I turned myself in. But when I told the police I ready to plead guilty to the charge of writing a fanfic without express written consent of DreamWorks, they just kinda looked at me like I was crazy and sent me back home. So it looks like I’m good for now.
“Okay, now remember your role,” said Mentedor quietly as they made their way into the dining car, his gun still to Roxanne’s back.
“And what would that be?” she asked, annoyed.
“Just pretend to be someone who really doesn’t want to get shot.”
“I really don’t want to get shot!”
“That’s the spirit!” Mentedor squinted his eyes and surveyed the room. People were talking and eating peacefully. An evil grin overtook his face. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, ready to begin his diabolical speech.
“Alright, nobody move!” yelled a voice that was distinctly not Mentedor’s. Four large men brandishing guns stood up. It was the largest of them that spoke. “We’re taking control of this train! Everybody hand over your wallets and purses and nobody dies!”
Roxanne looked over at Mentedor, who was positively shocked.
“This...” said Mentedor quietly, with visible irritation, “...this wasn’t part of the plan!” He gritted his teeth.
“Please tell me you’re not gonna try anything now,” whispered Roxanne.
“What, are you crazy?! They’d murder me!”
“Jewelry in the bag too!” yelled one of the men, moving around with a large sack. “Come on!”
“You!” yelled the largest of the group, pointing at the bespectacled man who had checked Mentedor’s tickers earlier. “Go to the storage and get the sapphires. And don’t try anything funny if you want the passengers to live!”
The bespectacled man let out a big sigh and rolled his eyes, clearly not appreciating this inconvenience. “Alright,” he said and made his way out of the car.
Roxanne looked around at the various passengers that cowered in fear. Then she saw one of the bandits walking right toward her. He stopped in front of her, looking her up and down with a cruel smile. Then he turned to the largest of the men. “Hey, boss,” he said. “Think you can take care of things without me for a few minutes?”
The leader of the group gave him a disapproving look, but conceded. “Just be quick about it.”
The eager man grabbed Roxanne’s arm and attempted to lead her away.
“Get your hands off me!” she yelled, yanking herself free.
Annoyed, the man grabbed her arm again, painfully tight, and began all but dragging her toward a door leading to one of the neighboring cars. Roxanne looked back toward Mentedor and the two of them exchanged terrified stares. Her eyes left his as she was yanked forward violently, stumbling next to the man who continued walking at a steady pace.
It was then she heard the sound of boots hitting a tabletop.
“Alright, nobody move!” yelled Mentedor. “I’m hijacking this train!”
The man who had been leaving with Roxanne stopped and turned. All eyes went to Mentedor who was standing on a table in between an old couple, pointing his gun quickly in various directions so that he appeared to be aiming and anything and everything in the room.
“What the...?” said the leader of the bandits.
“That’s correct!” said Mentedor, holding his gun up and flinging his cape. “You have all fallen prey to the evil genius that is El Mentedor!”
All four of the men cocked their guns and aimed directly at the small blue man.
“Oh ho ho!” laughed Mentedor. “You ignorant, little delinquents! None of you shall dare harm me! For you see, I have...” he aimed his gun across the room at Roxanne, “...a hostage!”
Roxanne facepalmed.
Just then, one of the doors leading out to another car flew open. “Alright, nobody move!” said Wayne, entering with a confident smile.
“Sheriff!” said Mentedor, overjoyed.
“Mentedor!” said Wayne, in an accusing tone. “I figured you’d be after the sapphires! Not feeling blue enough as it is?”
“Better to be blue than yellow! Very soon now, the gems will be...”
“Oh, my God!” interrupted Roxanne. “Would you shut up already?!” She looked at Wayne and gestured at the bandits. “Wayne, these are the four you have to worry about. They’re the dangerous ones.”
“Hey!” said Mentedor, indignantly. “Nobody is more dangerous than I am!”
Wayne’s attention had turned to the bandits now. “Ah, the Narthson Brothers! I didn’t expect to run into such notorious criminals in Metro County.”
“Excuse me!” said Mentedor, waving his hand in the air. “Super-suave, mega-minded villain here!”
The leader turned his attentions to Wayne. “If you value your life, you’ll do as you’re told.”
“Oh, come on!” shouted Mentedor. “You call that banter?!”
It wasn’t entirely clear whether the first shot came from Wayne or one of the bandits. But soon passengers were ducking under tables as bullet flew through the room. Suddenly Roxanne felt a hand on her wrist and Mentedor pulled her toward a door leading to one of the neighboring cars. She didn’t try to resist. They made their way through the train until Mentedor ran straight into someone, sending all three falling to the ground. Roxanne looked up to see the bespectacled man sitting before them, gripping a box and looking slightly dazed.
“I’ll take that!” said Mentedor, smiling widely and grabbing the box. He stood up, putting the container under one arm and using his free hand to grab Roxanne’s wrist again. Roxanne let out a startled yelp as he hoisted her to her feet and began running with her once more.
She looked back at the man who was still sitting on the ground, shaking his head in confusion. She was tempted yell back an apology before she recalled that he was the same one who didn’t raise a finger to help her when she was being carried onto the train. She focused her attention back on where she was going as her captor lead her quickly onward.
Eventually they reached a boxcar that was full of horses. “Mount?” called Mentedor.
“Señor?”
Mentedor made his way over to his companion.
“Was the heist successful?” asked the fish.
Mentedor held up the box smugly. Mount smiled and triggered a panel on the side of his suit to open.
“By the way, remind me to send Sheriff Scott a gift basket,” said Mentedor, sliding the box inside the robotic body. The opening closed and Mentedor hopped onto the back of the mechanical suit, pulling Roxanne up in front of him. “Apparently he’d anticipated my being here and decided to make his entrance about two seconds before I was to be riddled with bullets by some petty criminal amateurs.”
“Oh! You’re not hurt, are you, señor?”
“Thankfully not.” Mentedor pulled out his gun and blasted the lock on the side of the boxcar. “Speaking of the sheriff...were you aware he has sex with...uh...men?”
“I thought everyone in Metro County knew that.” Mount galloped toward the side of the train and making a running jump to the desert outside. He hit the ground and sped off across the desert, not seeming at all weighed down by his two passengers or the box inside his mechanical body.
Roxanne glanced back toward the railroad. Perhaps she should have tried to escape from Mentedor while he was pulling her through the train. She’d been so relieved to be out of that horrible situation with the bandits, putting up a struggle against her annoying blue companion had hadn’t really occurred to her. But now she wished it had. Wayne would defeat the bandits; she knew he would. And then he’d come looking for her. And she’d be gone. She sighed.
She looked up ahead to the mountains on the horizon as Mount continued to gallop across the vast plain. Roxanne’s mind wandered back to the bungled heist and, despite all the odd occurrences of the night, one thing in particular confused her. Mentedor had told Mount that the bandits were seconds away from killing him when Wayne showed up. That meant that, despite his antic nature, he understood the danger he was in. Heck, Mentedor had told her himself that the criminals would likely murder him if he somehow interfered. So why did he knowingly make himself a target when he could have just hunkered down? She knew it was common practice for him to put himself in a certain amount of unnecessary danger, all in the name of stage presence. But was it really something he’d be willing to just blatantly throw his life away over?
Or had it been for her? When she’d looked back at him as she was being pulled away, she’d seen honest terror in his face. Had he been trying to protect her, even knowing that his actions would probably get him killed and likely not make the slightest difference in her fate? But if he cared enough to do that, then why did he insist on committing all the thoughtless deeds that made her life so difficult? Was he really that clueless about the consequences his actions had on her?
It was strange. Sometimes Mentedor seemed just as oblivious as...well, as everyone else in the county. And then other times she would catch a look that indicated there was something more going on in that oversized head of his.
She supposed it didn’t really matter either way. Speculating about that strange man was something other people did. She just wanted to go home.
She expected they were headed to the town Mentedor had mentioned on the train. He’d said they’d make it there by midday. And it was still dark out. It had been a long, stressful night and she found that she had grown rather weary. She crossed her arms on Mount’s tank, leaned forward onto them, and closed her eyes.
Then Mount’s robotic suit began projecting a lullaby. A hint of a smile came over her face and she dozed off.
Preview: Next time, on a very special chapter of The Successful Failures of El Mentedor: Mentedor’s plan is finally revealed, and the comedy tag is subverted in favor of a good, old fashion bowl of drama. This is a chapter to read with the whole family. Also, there may or may not be gratuitous sex.
Word Count: About 1,600
Rating: PG for violence and references to sex.
Genre: AU/Comedy/Western
Summary: A Western AU with characters based on those from the movie Megamind.
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
FBI Warning: So, my brave attempt to cowardly flee to Uzbekistan was thwarted when I realized I didn’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket. The stress of this whole ordeal had gotten to be all too much, so I turned myself in. But when I told the police I ready to plead guilty to the charge of writing a fanfic without express written consent of DreamWorks, they just kinda looked at me like I was crazy and sent me back home. So it looks like I’m good for now.
“Okay, now remember your role,” said Mentedor quietly as they made their way into the dining car, his gun still to Roxanne’s back.
“And what would that be?” she asked, annoyed.
“Just pretend to be someone who really doesn’t want to get shot.”
“I really don’t want to get shot!”
“That’s the spirit!” Mentedor squinted his eyes and surveyed the room. People were talking and eating peacefully. An evil grin overtook his face. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, ready to begin his diabolical speech.
“Alright, nobody move!” yelled a voice that was distinctly not Mentedor’s. Four large men brandishing guns stood up. It was the largest of them that spoke. “We’re taking control of this train! Everybody hand over your wallets and purses and nobody dies!”
Roxanne looked over at Mentedor, who was positively shocked.
“This...” said Mentedor quietly, with visible irritation, “...this wasn’t part of the plan!” He gritted his teeth.
“Please tell me you’re not gonna try anything now,” whispered Roxanne.
“What, are you crazy?! They’d murder me!”
“Jewelry in the bag too!” yelled one of the men, moving around with a large sack. “Come on!”
“You!” yelled the largest of the group, pointing at the bespectacled man who had checked Mentedor’s tickers earlier. “Go to the storage and get the sapphires. And don’t try anything funny if you want the passengers to live!”
The bespectacled man let out a big sigh and rolled his eyes, clearly not appreciating this inconvenience. “Alright,” he said and made his way out of the car.
Roxanne looked around at the various passengers that cowered in fear. Then she saw one of the bandits walking right toward her. He stopped in front of her, looking her up and down with a cruel smile. Then he turned to the largest of the men. “Hey, boss,” he said. “Think you can take care of things without me for a few minutes?”
The leader of the group gave him a disapproving look, but conceded. “Just be quick about it.”
The eager man grabbed Roxanne’s arm and attempted to lead her away.
“Get your hands off me!” she yelled, yanking herself free.
Annoyed, the man grabbed her arm again, painfully tight, and began all but dragging her toward a door leading to one of the neighboring cars. Roxanne looked back toward Mentedor and the two of them exchanged terrified stares. Her eyes left his as she was yanked forward violently, stumbling next to the man who continued walking at a steady pace.
It was then she heard the sound of boots hitting a tabletop.
“Alright, nobody move!” yelled Mentedor. “I’m hijacking this train!”
The man who had been leaving with Roxanne stopped and turned. All eyes went to Mentedor who was standing on a table in between an old couple, pointing his gun quickly in various directions so that he appeared to be aiming and anything and everything in the room.
“What the...?” said the leader of the bandits.
“That’s correct!” said Mentedor, holding his gun up and flinging his cape. “You have all fallen prey to the evil genius that is El Mentedor!”
All four of the men cocked their guns and aimed directly at the small blue man.
“Oh ho ho!” laughed Mentedor. “You ignorant, little delinquents! None of you shall dare harm me! For you see, I have...” he aimed his gun across the room at Roxanne, “...a hostage!”
Roxanne facepalmed.
Just then, one of the doors leading out to another car flew open. “Alright, nobody move!” said Wayne, entering with a confident smile.
“Sheriff!” said Mentedor, overjoyed.
“Mentedor!” said Wayne, in an accusing tone. “I figured you’d be after the sapphires! Not feeling blue enough as it is?”
“Better to be blue than yellow! Very soon now, the gems will be...”
“Oh, my God!” interrupted Roxanne. “Would you shut up already?!” She looked at Wayne and gestured at the bandits. “Wayne, these are the four you have to worry about. They’re the dangerous ones.”
“Hey!” said Mentedor, indignantly. “Nobody is more dangerous than I am!”
Wayne’s attention had turned to the bandits now. “Ah, the Narthson Brothers! I didn’t expect to run into such notorious criminals in Metro County.”
“Excuse me!” said Mentedor, waving his hand in the air. “Super-suave, mega-minded villain here!”
The leader turned his attentions to Wayne. “If you value your life, you’ll do as you’re told.”
“Oh, come on!” shouted Mentedor. “You call that banter?!”
It wasn’t entirely clear whether the first shot came from Wayne or one of the bandits. But soon passengers were ducking under tables as bullet flew through the room. Suddenly Roxanne felt a hand on her wrist and Mentedor pulled her toward a door leading to one of the neighboring cars. She didn’t try to resist. They made their way through the train until Mentedor ran straight into someone, sending all three falling to the ground. Roxanne looked up to see the bespectacled man sitting before them, gripping a box and looking slightly dazed.
“I’ll take that!” said Mentedor, smiling widely and grabbing the box. He stood up, putting the container under one arm and using his free hand to grab Roxanne’s wrist again. Roxanne let out a startled yelp as he hoisted her to her feet and began running with her once more.
She looked back at the man who was still sitting on the ground, shaking his head in confusion. She was tempted yell back an apology before she recalled that he was the same one who didn’t raise a finger to help her when she was being carried onto the train. She focused her attention back on where she was going as her captor lead her quickly onward.
Eventually they reached a boxcar that was full of horses. “Mount?” called Mentedor.
“Señor?”
Mentedor made his way over to his companion.
“Was the heist successful?” asked the fish.
Mentedor held up the box smugly. Mount smiled and triggered a panel on the side of his suit to open.
“By the way, remind me to send Sheriff Scott a gift basket,” said Mentedor, sliding the box inside the robotic body. The opening closed and Mentedor hopped onto the back of the mechanical suit, pulling Roxanne up in front of him. “Apparently he’d anticipated my being here and decided to make his entrance about two seconds before I was to be riddled with bullets by some petty criminal amateurs.”
“Oh! You’re not hurt, are you, señor?”
“Thankfully not.” Mentedor pulled out his gun and blasted the lock on the side of the boxcar. “Speaking of the sheriff...were you aware he has sex with...uh...men?”
“I thought everyone in Metro County knew that.” Mount galloped toward the side of the train and making a running jump to the desert outside. He hit the ground and sped off across the desert, not seeming at all weighed down by his two passengers or the box inside his mechanical body.
Roxanne glanced back toward the railroad. Perhaps she should have tried to escape from Mentedor while he was pulling her through the train. She’d been so relieved to be out of that horrible situation with the bandits, putting up a struggle against her annoying blue companion had hadn’t really occurred to her. But now she wished it had. Wayne would defeat the bandits; she knew he would. And then he’d come looking for her. And she’d be gone. She sighed.
She looked up ahead to the mountains on the horizon as Mount continued to gallop across the vast plain. Roxanne’s mind wandered back to the bungled heist and, despite all the odd occurrences of the night, one thing in particular confused her. Mentedor had told Mount that the bandits were seconds away from killing him when Wayne showed up. That meant that, despite his antic nature, he understood the danger he was in. Heck, Mentedor had told her himself that the criminals would likely murder him if he somehow interfered. So why did he knowingly make himself a target when he could have just hunkered down? She knew it was common practice for him to put himself in a certain amount of unnecessary danger, all in the name of stage presence. But was it really something he’d be willing to just blatantly throw his life away over?
Or had it been for her? When she’d looked back at him as she was being pulled away, she’d seen honest terror in his face. Had he been trying to protect her, even knowing that his actions would probably get him killed and likely not make the slightest difference in her fate? But if he cared enough to do that, then why did he insist on committing all the thoughtless deeds that made her life so difficult? Was he really that clueless about the consequences his actions had on her?
It was strange. Sometimes Mentedor seemed just as oblivious as...well, as everyone else in the county. And then other times she would catch a look that indicated there was something more going on in that oversized head of his.
She supposed it didn’t really matter either way. Speculating about that strange man was something other people did. She just wanted to go home.
She expected they were headed to the town Mentedor had mentioned on the train. He’d said they’d make it there by midday. And it was still dark out. It had been a long, stressful night and she found that she had grown rather weary. She crossed her arms on Mount’s tank, leaned forward onto them, and closed her eyes.
Then Mount’s robotic suit began projecting a lullaby. A hint of a smile came over her face and she dozed off.
Preview: Next time, on a very special chapter of The Successful Failures of El Mentedor: Mentedor’s plan is finally revealed, and the comedy tag is subverted in favor of a good, old fashion bowl of drama. This is a chapter to read with the whole family. Also, there may or may not be gratuitous sex.