A Rant, Some Screenshots, And DON'T Call Me Roxanne, Chapter Five
OK, so first a rant (WARNING: some swearing involved):
So, today I found out that Dreamworks has aired a Kung Fu Panda cartoon series. WHAFUCK, DREAMWORKS!? KFP gets its own TV series, and Megamind doesn't even get a mention anywhere? What is your problem, Dreamworks? Are you Xenophic? Do you have a crippling fear of aliens? Why does your son displease you? What has he done? Did he not grow up correctly? Did he have friends you didn't agree with? Was there some stage of his development where he wasn't right, where he needed serious correcting, where he continually made you angry? Was he a rebellious son, Dreamworks? Or are you angry that he doesn't have the good grades that your children have, or that he accidentally let Despicable Me cheat off of his big oral exam and then unwittingly made himself look like a ripoff by allowing Despicable Me to give his presentation first? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD!? He's done his work, Dreamworks! He's doing his best, he's pulling his weight, and you continue to ignore him, to stamp "DEFECTIVE CHILD" across his oversized forehead! Megamind has a lot of morals, Dreamworks, and you're ignoring them! "The little guy can rise to the top," "A villain can be a hero in disguise," "Love can conquor all," "Bullying is wrong," "Ignoring the plight of small children in pain and repressing them while allowing and sometimes encouraging the other kids to hurt them creates villains and monsters and demons and psychological trauma." The Megamind world is a young child that is crying out for your love, Dreamworks, but you're a cold, cruel, unfeeling father, aren't you? You don't think he's popular enough, so you just lock him away in his closet, throw away the key, and deny his very existence, leaving us, the loyal fans, to keep him alive! His siblings taunt him, Dreamworks, and it's all your fault, because you set the tone, and your tone is filled with dissappointment and irritation. TELL ME DREAMWORKS, WHAT HAS HE DONE TO DISPLEASE YOU!? TELL ME SO THAT I MAY MAKE RIGHT HIS WRONG IN HIS PLACE, OR DIE TRYING, FOR I WOULD GLADLY GIVE MY LIFE TO SAVE HIS AND THE HUNDREDS THAT RELY ON HIM TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY! You are a cruel God, Dreamworks, to do as you have, to not only disown your wonderful, beautiful son, Megamind, and his namesake, and his namesake's love interest, and his namesake's best friend (the list goes on), but to bully us, his fans, as you have. We bait our every breath each time there is the hint of a shadow of a chance, but you give us nothing--You build up our hopes only to dash them across the rocks of fate, and indeed, unlike Destiny, Fate is the unchangable, the unmovable, and so the rocks are ever-stable, and therefore so are those splintered fragments of our hopes and dreams. I speak for myself, and perhaps for others, when I say that Megamind is not only my hero; he is me, and by dashing my hopes for him, you begin to chip away at my own hopes for myself. So I beseach thee, Dreamworks; Set free your son from his closet of shame (not to be confused with the Box of Shame, for that would be copywright infringement and we CANNOT have that), let him stand and hobble from the shadows, pale of skin and fawny-eyed, and let him see the light, and rejoice in it. Let him continue with his life, for he may not be perfect in your eyes, but he is perfect in ours, and in time, he will grow stronger, braver, perhaps even smarter. Let us know the glory of our all-knowing former Overlord, and let our current hero teach us the ways of right and wrong in his own, adorkably spazzy way. If you would only look beyond the color of his skin (and I do so dream that you will), you would find that, deep down, he is better than all of his siblings.
And so I repeat; WHAFUCK!?
OK, now that that's over with, here are a few screenshots I took about an hour ago while I rewatched the movie for the nth time. XDXD:
Whenever I see this part, I can't help but think Megs looks a little like the Grinch. XDXD
Ok, so I've noticed this, but here we get a good look at it. Look at "Bernard's" right shoulder (left to us, right to him). See how Megamind's arm is showing through? The WHOLE arm? And see how "Bernard's" suit seems to cut off in a sort of jagged way? How is that possible? This scene brings up a couple questions I haven't seen being asked or answered. I have yet to see a fanfiction where Megs can use the watch to change only a select few parts of his body, and yet here it is, right from the movie; he must have more selectability with that device than we think.
And, FINALLY, here is another update of DON'T Call Me Roxanne. :F
Title: DON'T Call Me Roxanne, Chapter Five
Author: Moonstar00125
Story Summary: This is a Total Reversal AU, in which our beloved Roxanne Ritchi is sent off to the planet Cerul when planet Earth is devoured by a black hole.
Chapter Summary: Isst (Mrs. Cerebellum) and Civ (her Minion) are introduced, we hear a little about Loral (Mr. Cerebellum) and Rit (Loral's Minion), and I fill your tiny brains with precious, golden information that will, outside of this story, be useless. I'm evil like that. >:D
Warnings: None. This chapter is clean! :3
Chapter one: http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1395219.html
Chapter two: http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1398003.html
Chapter three: http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1399568.html
Chapter four: http://megamind-movie.livejournal.com/1401591.html
"Mom?" Roxanne asked, stepping into the kitchen and looking up at her adoptive mother, who was helping Civ with the cooking. Civ was her Mother's minion, who was a pale pink with the signature golden-brown eyes of a minion. The golden-brown color of the eyes was the deciding factor for which offspring were chosen to be trained as minions for future generations, and which were raised to adulthood and set free in the oceans of Cerul. It had been a promise made to the piranha people of Cerul long ago, when first contact was made with the king of the ocean-dwelling fish, who promised, as a gift of peace, all those with eyes of a golden-brown shade as servants to the Ceruleans, so long as all those with different eye colors be set free, the basis of that condition being that none of the royal family had eyes of that particular shade, and were safe from being chosen.
The majority of minions actually enjoyed their roles very much, with only a very small few who did not. It was considered a high honor to be a minion so thoughtful and perfectly matched to their master that their master needn't hire any Cerulean help for their home, and in the Cerebellum household, each of their four minions carried their own personal "badge" of honor in that respect.
At birth, a fish with the prospects of becoming a minion would either be taught by their own parents or sent to a school for minions. Through a medical and highly scientific procedure, the minion would be linked to a Cerulean child still in the womb who had only three months left until their birth, and be trained as a minion to care for that child and take care of them. After the child was born, their initial training would end, and more advanced training would begin, training which would go in depth and take up the majority of a minion's life for the next two years.
It was a special bond that developed between a minion and their master, a bond that connected them even deeper than the link they were forced to share from birth. Any child who was raised correctly knew not to toss their minion around like dirt, but to respect them and take their view of things into consideration. Those who didn't often ended up overworking their minion, taking advantage of them, and dying at a young age.
The balance between the minion and master was very delicate--in general, minions were seen as less than a Cerulean, though there were those who were seen as a near equal by their master or mistress. It was important for a Cerulean to protect their minion should the need arise, and keep them close. Because of the bonds that help master and minion, if the minion died, so too would the Cerulean to whom they were attached. Should the Cerulean die first, the minion would live on, though any minion worth noting would insist on being buried with their Cerulean, to keep them well in the afterlife, unless they left behind a mate and offspring with preconceived orders to take care of the master's family upon their death.
But to underwork or pamper a minion was just as hazardous as to overwork them. When a minion was held in higher regard than their master, or a complete equal who did only as much as or less than their master, the minion was likely to die of depression, lack of stimulation, and muscular atrophy, dragging their liberal-minded "equal" with them to the grave.
Roxanne and Gilda were a special case. The two were bonded, but not as a normal Cerulean child was bonded with their minion. Roxanne had already been a year and a half old when she was sent to Cerul, and Gilda was born only shortly after to a family across the planet. She and Roxanne had been bonded before she began training, and the early years that followed had been awkward for Gilda, learning to care for a Cerulean when she was actually to care for a human. It was a very fortunate thing that Earthlings and Ceruleans were not so very different, and that Isst Cerebellum was not above helping the slightly confused minion out when she needed it.
The bond they held was as strong as a normal Cerulean's in the sense that they were extremely close, and Gilda's instincts to care for Roxanne may even have been stronger than normal minions' just because it had taken her so much more effort than usual to figure her mistress out. One thing that was greatly altered (neither knew, though they sometimes wondered about it) from normality was that their bond did not carry into the afterlife. If Gilda died, Roxanne would live on.
Isst glanced up and smiled brightly at her daughter. She had very smooth, motherly features, and she acted every bit the part her appearance had cast for her. She was a bubbly woman with a bright outlook and optimism galore. She practically oozed tender love, care, and maternal instinct stronger than Roxanne had seen in the parent of any other. Roxanne and Reptung, her adopted son and daughter, were the pride and joy of her life.
Roxanne and Reptung had both been adopted by Isst and Loral Cerebellum when they were babies. As motherly as she was, Isst had been barren from birth, and adoption had been her only option for children. Gilda and Gishnar had also been adopted, for both the sake of timing, and because Civ and Rit, the minion of Loral, absolutely despised one another.
When Ceruleans mated, it was law and custom that their minions become mates as well. Usually, the minions of a couple got along quite well, at the very least well enough to be amiable with one another, and sometimes shared a love just as strong as the love their master and mistress harbored for one another. Sometimes, though, there were cases where two forcedly bonded minions hated each other to a point of abhorrence, usually due to clashing personalities with both the other fish and their master.
"Roxanne!" she exclaimed, swooping over to envelop her fifteen-year-old daughter in a warm hug.
"Mom, why can't you just call me Aida like everyone else?"
"Because your name isn't Aida," Isst told her, pulling back a bit to look her daughter in the eyes. Isst was a good foot taller than her daughter, extremely tall--she towered over everyone but her husband, who, by some amazing mutation, was an impossible six foot eight-eight! Roxanne herself was of a completely average height for a full grown woman at five four, and even the tallest of men didn't usually clear five foot ten. "Your real mother named you Roxanne before she sent you here, and it's a beautiful name that you should be proud of!"
"Roxanne isn't even a name, it's just a collection of weird, random sounds!"
"From what we know it means 'bright star at dawn,' and that is what you are, Roxanne," Isst lectured her daughter. "You should be proud of where you come from and what you are." Roxanne repressed an urge to snort. "Anyway," Isst continued gently, "your Father is coming home today, so I'll need your help in the kitchen for awhile. Is that alright?"
"That's fine," Roxanne answered. She didn't really mind cooking. She didn't like it as much as Gilda (Gilda absolutely adored the kitchen, and could spend hours trying out new recipes when she was allowed), but it could be fun.
"So how was school today, sweetheart?" Isst asked as Roxanne situated herself and began slicing vegetables.
"School was alright," she answered. Isst blinked hard and nearly choked on her own tongue as she started forward, the knife she held cutting deep into the bone of the animal she was preparing. There was the loud ding! of metal hitting metal as Civ turned even her attention to Roxanne, the knife coming down on her robotic fingers with strength enough to sever the fingers of a carbon-based life form.
"Alright?" Isst asked, holding a hand to her throat and glancing with wide yellow eyes at her adoptive daughter. "School--school was alright?" Roxanne nodded, not even noticing that anyone had looked up as she continued to slice. "And--you aren't lying?"
"Why would I lie?" Roxanne asked. Her very existence on this planet was lie enough to last lifetimes.
"Oh, Roxanne, I'm so happy for you!" Isst cried, grabbing her daughter up and burying her in another bone-crushing hug, nearly getting her eyes gouged out as Roxanne jerked up in surprise. "Tell me all about it!" she insisted, holding Roxanne at arms length and smiling down at her. "I want to hear every single detail of your wonderfully alright day!"
***
So, did your brain explode? XDXD, sorry for all this huge mass of information, but you kinda need some info on how things work to get the entire picture. :P
I know I've said earlier that I think Ceruleans are probably a lot taller than Megs is in the movies because of different factors that went into his upbringing, but for whatever reason, that didn't cross my mind when I was writing this chapter. In my defence though, a five-foot-eight Mace is easier to get to Roxanne's level than a seven-foot Mace. It doesn't matter WHAT kind of food Roxanne's being fed, she is NOT getting any bigger than five-four. XDXD