story sketch: escape [update:04-23-2011]

[meeksp]

This is a scene from the first book set in

Comments

[ext_287696]

It's great :-) You really excel at perspective and drawing all different body types. :-)

[robling_t]

Like the sense of motion and urgency. I'm not sure that the angle of the clarinet really works, though -- I'd tip it a little bit more away from her mouth (towards vertical), I think, it just looks kind of awkward this way.

I like it but...

[miss_pooky]

I agree with the previous comment about the angle of the clarinet. I think Edie is perfect, the look on her face captures her emotions very well. I'm not sure I like Corrie's arms (I really hope I mean Corrie, I'm forever mixing her and Dawn up for some reason /blush). It looks like she's just out for a jog, rather than fleeing from some evil faeries. I like the detail on Dawn and Rico, you manage to get them looking worried even though they are "farther away" :)

Re: I like it but...

[meeksp]

Ok, the angle of the oboe is easy enough to adjust.
Thank you for pointing out the issue with Corrie's arms! I did want to suggest that running is a familiar activity for her, but I may have pushed it too far in that direction. Even after many years of studying body language from an artistic standpoint, it's still a bit like writing a foreign language for me, so it helps to know when I haven't quite got it right.

[robling_t]

I like the added contrast in the tweaked version; it adds to the sense of menace to focus on the pale figures in the dark woods.