Braiiiiiiiins!
*points at counter and grins*
Totally unplanned Zombie-fic with a choice of whom to blame!
theotherdibbler connected November with Zombies and started a thread, Dibbs is also the proprietor of Pleasures everyone's favourite cafe.
charisstoma should really know better than to encourage me!
Title: Halloween Scare
Wordcount: 1909
World: a branch of theotherdibbler 's Pleasures set down the road from the incorrigible Lustful Liaisions Djinni.
Warning: I wrote this!
‘Are they gone?’ Jed peered over the counter and watched as Maddy stepped quietly across the café floor to the window. Trev shushed him slapping a hand over his mouth but it was already too late. Maddy hissed turning to glare at him ‘Be quite you fool’ her snarl brought a reaction from outside. A dull thump from the pavement and a lurching shadow near the frosted pane of the door. The door rattled way to flimsy on it’s hinges.
‘Quick, quick’ Tanya leant out from the kitchen gesturing madly until Maddy got near enough to grab and drag behind cover.
‘They’re still out there then’ Maddy announced as she slumped on the counter biting fiercely into a left over cupcake. ‘Shouldn’t we save those? We could be here awhile’ Her opinion on that was a scowl almost nasty enough to have Jed consider the outside safer. Almost, but not quite.
A nasty groan accompanied the rattling of the letterbox a drumbeat of clumsy knocks shaking their calm. ‘We should block that up, nail it shut so they can’t get in’
‘Great idea dooffus, you go find the wood’ Jed had the grace to blush, Maddy’s sharp tongue had a habit of making him feel stupid. The newest employee he still had a way to go to perfect his sangfroid.
‘It’s not a bad idea actually, we could use the café tables to reinforce the big window’ Everyone listened up when Samuel spoke, there was something about the tall lanky guy. He had a friendly relaxed demeanour and the coolest head of dyed dreadlocks Jed had ever seen. It was as much as Jed could do to control the second blush as the taller boy winked at him from where he lounged in the doorway.
‘We should totally go out there and bust heads man!’ Trev too was sampling the cupcakes, the sugar going straight to his head. Maddy wiped pink frosting of her lips and sighed ‘Okay, good plan dooffus. You and Sam go move some tables. Trev you check the back door. Tanya stay here, if you feel the need to push any of the boys out I wont blame you honey.’
‘So what are you going to?’
‘I Trevor am going to check the news then phone those damn Djinni see what forces those imbeciles have been messing with now’
‘You want sense from the Liaison’s crowd?’
‘I know Jed, I know’ For once they were in perfect agreement.
‘Hey chin-up Jed, what’s life without a little excitement?’
‘Safe’
‘There is that, but hey, we survive this nothing will ever seem impossible’ Right now survival was a distant hope but it was good advise.
‘Howaboutadate?’
‘What?’ Samuel paused to face him head on and the clear blue of his eyes stole Jed’s breath from his lungs.
‘How about a date? When this is over I mean, a date wouldn’t be worse than Zombies would it?’ The warm chuckle washed over him and Samuel clapped his shoulder as he continued to heft the scarred wooden tables over onto their sides. ‘No Jed, going on a date with you wouldn’t be worse than fighting off Zombies’ He was still chuckling as they slid the tables in place.
‘Well troops? Report’
‘Maddy you’re a waitress not a four star general’
‘I am the best hope you’ve got buddy-boy, eyeing up the leather sets doesn’t make you hard Trev’ she realised what she’d said the same time as everyone else did ‘doesn’t make you tough that is, I really don’t want to know what makes you hard. REALLY Trev’
‘If I turn into a Zombie kill me before I chow down on Trev, ok guys?’
‘Tanya you have my word’
‘Ditto on that babe
‘Fun-ny’ there was no offending Trev, he was the only member of staff who’d never blushed during the Djinni invasions.
‘Back door is blocked’
‘We’ve got the tables in place’
‘There’s nothing on the news and the phone line is down’
‘There’s plenty food in the kitchen and that box of liqueur we got sent for the staff party is in the warehouse’
They decided the basement warehouse was the best place to hole up. Rolling his head back to catch the last dribbles from his glass Jed was starting to feel good. Forgetting the Zombie hoard to focus myopically on his drink and try to remember which flavour he’d just finished. Berry-something, perhaps the green one next then. Samuel was slouched next to him close enough that Jed’s head kept falling to his shoulder which was nice enough that he stopped fighting it. They’d been having a great chat too and he’d been saying really clever witty like he’d always wanted to without a hint of a blush or stammer, Samuel’s kind smile and twinkling blue eyes encouraging him. He held his glass out watching Samuel steady it to pour in a bright blue liqueur sourced from no fruit known to man.
‘Your eyes are blue, bluer. Blue as the ocean, blue sky, blue as, as my drink, blue drink. Slurpable blue. You’re pretty slurpable, I could slurp you all up.’
‘You’re sozzled’
‘Yeah but…where was I?’
‘Slurping’
‘Oh yeah’ Jed slurped his drink it wasn’t that bad actually, following the lure of Samuel’s eyes until they bumped noses he found himself sitting astride the man’s outstretched legs slurping at his jaw and neck line, they tasted far better than the drink.
‘Boys’ Maddy rolled her eyes throwing a random bottle of lube at them from the storage shelf. ‘We’re being menaced by Zombies and your making out’ like she hadn’t been macking on Tanya just minutes ago. Jed turned to tell her this but the whole room got wobbly so he figured it better to stay still.
Trev spoilt the mood returning from the recognisant mission that had meant him leaving them alone to announce that the view from the window was bad. They all trooped up getting jammed in the doorway as they tried walking five abreast, none wanting to go first or get left behind. With a lot of pushing and shoving they managed to reach the main café.
‘We should be armed’
‘We’re out of pickaxes and don’t stock guns’
‘Something big and hard we can whack them with’
‘I’m getting me a Godzilla no-one going to beat that baby down!’ It would be more surprising if Tanya hadn’t spent the last month complaining that the monster didn’t come in a double headed variety and writing to the manufacture to complain. For a loudly confirmed, proud of the fact lesbian she was one hell of a size queen.
Jed grabbled for the nearest available weapon cracking up with mirth when it turned out to be a mid-sized clown hooter complete with asymmetric swirling candy stripes, he waved it about until Samuel took it off him placing it carefully out of reach on a higher shelf before he took someone’s eye out and offering him an alternative. Which was ultimately how Jed came about threatening a hoard of brain-hungry Zombies with an over sized gummy snake. At least when it had all gone down he had something sweet to nibble.
Trev as usual went straight to the bondage stand eyeing up the range of whips and practically jacking off his favourite. Jed heard Maddy pitying his mythical girlfriend and muttering how glad she was to be a lesbian and he tried telling her how he thought it was a great idea and that he thought he’d like to be one too. For some reason this go him odd looks and made Maddy laugh. He thought she looked pretty when she laughed and not like a super scary dominatrix at all. Samuel stopped those words passing his lips with a quick forceful kiss. Days later he still cringed over the memory of offering Sam a taste of his snake, but he had truly meant the gummy one!
Maddy took up the broom which was probably the best option and made more sense than comparing dildos. Samuel was more a peace and love kind of guy and stuck to collecting a pile of empty trays saying something sheepish about Frisbees and holding them off.
They approached the windows with the barricade of tables brandishing their assorted weapons to the ready. It was a good thing there were no cameras in the main shop because they were forced to re-enact the advance many times over the following days for their hysterical colleagues and the general consensus was that they looked like a dirty minded hedgehog. All huddled together with lots of rude pointy bits. By then Tanya and Maddy were busy thoroughly testing out the special trial ran Godzilla-Double that arrived by special courier and Jed was busy dating Sam which was indeed proving far nicer than fighting off ravenous Zombie hoards. Trev had actually produced a stunning girlfriend to the amazement of all and deep probing questions suggested she was the real deal not the pay by the hour model they all suspected.
‘What kind of dildo would a Zombie use?’ questions like this were why they all skirted around Trevor. The boy was weird; even considering the extremes of their general clientele.
‘If it were Zombie Ken, full leaded I bet. He’s bad enough normally’
‘A detachable one’ Jed was feeling super-logical and actually gave it some serious thought ‘with stitched on balls’
‘I’ll be detaching me some balls if you guys don’t shut-up’ Dutifully they all shut-up and made it to the window, Maddy was holding her broom like a pro.
‘That’s little Maddison’
The mood which was buoyed up on soaring adrenaline sunk deep. Maddison Lustful Liaison’s designated First Aider was such a sweet soul it got everyone down. The young Djinn lay sprawled over the curb, face down in the gutter his hair matted with blood and with grey goo oozing onto the asphalt. Ken and Steve were lurching down the pavement faces battered and bleeding, arms part raised as they staggered along. Kain could be seen down by the bus stop apparently eating his Dick, and not in a good way. Their eldest Baxter, sat on the bench opposite waving cheerfully with the empty sleeve of his sweater, his bloodied limb torn off and languishing at his feet. Azre his lover and sworn stood near bellowing Dragon-flame into the night air. Jed could see a number of people from the other local business laying about twitching in varies states of decay.
They turned as one when they heard the latch slip on the back entrance, someone shuffling through the staff door. Someone with a key.
A tray went flying out at the unseen target causing a very human oof. Monstrous dildo, broom and giant gummy snake were held aloft in warning and a camera flash was forked lightning in the room. Taps sounded on the window behind the scared group and laughter broke from up and down the road.
‘Your faces!’
They managed to laugh it off though the odd kick might have landed on any still crumpled forms. Dick had the biggest grin on his face, totally unrelated to his husband’s wandering hands. Baxter looked a little sheepish and Azre bemused but game. This year the Djinn crowd had definitely won the Halloween Scare Off, but the Pleasure’s staff swore up and down they’d start plotting their revenge the very next day. Christmas would be fun this year!