Holy Vibrating Troll Bits Batman!
Ok soooo first *theotherdibbler * wrote a story in fact two stories about a rather Special Cafe named Pleasures which if you've managed to miss you need to go read! Here and here.
Then *theskimblishone * made promises and *grimm_psyke * also got involved and wrote a story and from there a Challenge was born.
And now! I challenge you all (or anyone who wants to give it a shot) to write a story, a drabble, a poem, a series, whatever catches your muse, set in everyone's favourite coffee shop. The only rules of course being those laid out in my own fics regarding how the shop is set out and operates, otherwise you have free reign.
And so this happened I'm blaming Grimm 'cause it sounds like her idea and I've got an icon ready ;) :
Title : Holy Vibes!
Wordcount : 1217
Pairing : Derek/Gary
Fandom : theotherdibbler's Pleasures
Warnings : No Smut but mention of sextoys
Gary stared at the coffee table as the waitress approached, she passed them on her way to another table. He could feel Derek staring at him willing him to look up but the café was just too much. There was no way he could act nonchalantly. Eyes firmly closed the smell said upmarket coffee shop with snotty barista. Made him hungry for fancy muffin and whipped cream. Eyes open though.. Eyes open and his brain screamed sex shop! He’d never been in a sex shop in his life, online totally didn’t count.
Shelves lined the walls filled with boxes that Gary didn’t dare examine. The table next to theirs held four middle aged business; looked like a power lunch until you noticed the double headed dildo one was fingering and Gary hadn’t missed the way the older one had pinched the waitress’ bum.
One Soy Caramel Macchiato was delivered to the table behind them, and that sounded sinister on its own, must be a regular too because he’d entered the same time as them and Gary hadn’t heard him order. Immersed in a notepad like some creepy private-eye, attractive though. Derek kicked him under the table to get his attention and he realised the wait staff had reached them and was standing next to him with a polite smile.
‘Can I take you order?’
‘I’ll have a Black Coffee no Sugar and a Marmalade Scone. Gary?’
‘Latte, extra Espresso, Caramel Syrup and a Blueberry Muffin’ Gary spoke to the tabletop.
‘Add whipped cream to that.’
‘Derek!’
‘Shush. Now how about the Specials plate, anything you can recommend?’ The staff must get asked that a lot because he answered by rote, pleasant neutral demeanour never slipping.
‘All of them Sir. We only sell the finest quality products here at Pleasures, all come with our personal guarantee of satisfaction’
‘Hear that Gary? guaranteed satisfaction’ It would satisfy Gary to thoroughly wipe that damn stupid leer off Derek’s face as soon as they escaped this place.
‘And the Lash and Paddle plate. Please’ He’d seen that written on the board.
‘Certainly Sir’ The waiter spun off without a blink but there was a new quality to Derek’s stare.
‘Lash and Paddles?’
‘I can’t believe you brought me to a sex shop Derek’
‘Relax Gary, it’s a Café’
‘Café? Derek, Café’s don’t have bondage gear pinned to the walls and offer butt plugs with the dessert’
‘That’s ’cause this is the most awesomest of cafés’ It was a loosing battle.
‘Here you go Sirs. One Black Coffee, one Caramel Latte extra Espresso with Cream, a Scone and a Muffin. This is today’s Specials plate and I’ll be right back with the Lashes and Paddles’
‘Thanks’
‘Awesome’
Gary took a bite out of his Muffin.
The waiter was back before he’d catalogued the things on the tray. Lashes, Studded Paddles and what appeared to be a Cat O’ Nine Tails joined the first tray on their table.
‘We have some new lines from across the range of the popular Human Touch brand. RC Stimulators, Anal Probes and Genital Restraints’ Gary crossed his legs and winced, he’d heard of Cock Rings but nothing with metal teeth and sprung hinges was every going to touch his genitals. Eyes tearing he interrupted the sales spiel with a sharp head shake. Derek was laughing behind his Coffee mug. The utter bastard.
‘Very well, I’ll leave you to look though the Lashes if you need any further assistance just ask at the counter’ He indicated where the Macchiato waitress was standing. Her breasts were gaining at least equal attention to the Specials board, she seemed oblivious though as she happily munched on a large Chocolate Cock shaped Lolly.
‘Clarice will be happy to assist you’ he almost sounded amused but his professional mask was perfect as he smiled and made to walk away.
‘Wait’ Gary stared at Derek daring him to embarrass him even further.
‘Could you bring us the plate of Vibes?’
‘Certainly Sir’ Well that was surely harmless enough?
Gary moved to taste his Latte but choked when he saw what sat on the saucer. What he’d taken for the standard Amaretti treat was a sample tube of Lube. Apricot flavour.
‘I got Raspberry’ Derek squirted a drop onto his fingers offering them to Gary then laughing and licking the digits himself, laving the shiny oil off with his tongue before sucking his fingers into his mouth cheeks hollowing and throat constricting. Gary felt his neck itch and cock jump, he knew he was turning Beetroot. The exact same colour in fact as the large curved Vibrator suddenly in front of his nose. Gary blinked at the other things on the tray.
‘THAT’S A FUCKING TROLL COCK!’
Derek roared with laughter, picking up the huge green phallic and rubbing a hand over the bumps and ridges, he waved it at Gary. Their waiter was staring hard, straight past them towards the scruffy Macchiato man who scribbled fiercely into his notebook, he didn’t speak for a moment and Gary was mortified to realise he too fought laughter. Half the café’s patrons were now staring at him. He hadn’t meant to shout it out but hell that thing was enormous, and all those ridges and bulges.
‘The Gozilla is a new product from the Dibbler luxury range, it comes with a free pack of extra strength condoms. There’s two sizes in the range..’
‘It gets bigger?’ The waiter quit and let a genuine smile form.
‘This is the larger size Sir’
‘Holy!’
‘It has three speeds from gentle massage to deep grind and..’
‘We’ll take one’
‘We will?’
‘Yes Derek we will’ Gary eyed the Vibrator snatching it off Derek and playing with the controls. He could barely stretch to cup his hands around the monster and the waiter had been understating when he said deep grind, the Godzilla went from gentle massage pleasant for aching backs to a wild out of control hold tight or you’ll drop the thing grind. His sphincter flexed.
‘Wow’
‘Double wow’
‘Very good Sirs, I’ll take one to the counter for you and you can collect it as you pay for your coffees’
‘Thanks’
Gary was to engrossed with his toy and watching Derek blink rapidly and swallow past the bobbing green rubber, to answer.
‘I’ll buy it for you’
‘Really?’
‘Well I did drag you in here’
‘That’s okay’
‘You sure?’
‘It is kind of awesome’
‘Yeah isn’t it’ Derek looked relieved obviously thinking he’d gotten off lightly ‘Want to come again sometime?’
‘Yeah, Christmas maybe’
‘Awesome. You’re awesome Gary’
‘I know’
Gary slipped his sample lube into his pocket and waited outside while Derek went to pay for his new toy, trying not to feel sleazy for hovering outside a sex café while young families walked innocently by.
‘Here you go. Can’t believe you actually chose that thing’
Gary peered into the plain bag and saw a large green box with silver flecks and a bow, there was also the free condoms and several tubes of good quality flavoured lube; Apricot, Cherry and Mai Tai.
‘Nice’
‘You really gonna use that?’
‘You bet I am’
‘It enormous’
‘Yep’
‘Wow’
‘Yep’ Gary let the glee show in his voice ‘You aren’t going to be able to walk for a month!
Then *theskimblishone * made promises and *grimm_psyke * also got involved and wrote a story and from there a Challenge was born.
And now! I challenge you all (or anyone who wants to give it a shot) to write a story, a drabble, a poem, a series, whatever catches your muse, set in everyone's favourite coffee shop. The only rules of course being those laid out in my own fics regarding how the shop is set out and operates, otherwise you have free reign.
And so this happened I'm blaming Grimm 'cause it sounds like her idea and I've got an icon ready ;) :
Title : Holy Vibes!
Wordcount : 1217
Pairing : Derek/Gary
Fandom : theotherdibbler's Pleasures
Warnings : No Smut but mention of sextoys
Gary stared at the coffee table as the waitress approached, she passed them on her way to another table. He could feel Derek staring at him willing him to look up but the café was just too much. There was no way he could act nonchalantly. Eyes firmly closed the smell said upmarket coffee shop with snotty barista. Made him hungry for fancy muffin and whipped cream. Eyes open though.. Eyes open and his brain screamed sex shop! He’d never been in a sex shop in his life, online totally didn’t count.
Shelves lined the walls filled with boxes that Gary didn’t dare examine. The table next to theirs held four middle aged business; looked like a power lunch until you noticed the double headed dildo one was fingering and Gary hadn’t missed the way the older one had pinched the waitress’ bum.
One Soy Caramel Macchiato was delivered to the table behind them, and that sounded sinister on its own, must be a regular too because he’d entered the same time as them and Gary hadn’t heard him order. Immersed in a notepad like some creepy private-eye, attractive though. Derek kicked him under the table to get his attention and he realised the wait staff had reached them and was standing next to him with a polite smile.
‘Can I take you order?’
‘I’ll have a Black Coffee no Sugar and a Marmalade Scone. Gary?’
‘Latte, extra Espresso, Caramel Syrup and a Blueberry Muffin’ Gary spoke to the tabletop.
‘Add whipped cream to that.’
‘Derek!’
‘Shush. Now how about the Specials plate, anything you can recommend?’ The staff must get asked that a lot because he answered by rote, pleasant neutral demeanour never slipping.
‘All of them Sir. We only sell the finest quality products here at Pleasures, all come with our personal guarantee of satisfaction’
‘Hear that Gary? guaranteed satisfaction’ It would satisfy Gary to thoroughly wipe that damn stupid leer off Derek’s face as soon as they escaped this place.
‘And the Lash and Paddle plate. Please’ He’d seen that written on the board.
‘Certainly Sir’ The waiter spun off without a blink but there was a new quality to Derek’s stare.
‘Lash and Paddles?’
‘I can’t believe you brought me to a sex shop Derek’
‘Relax Gary, it’s a Café’
‘Café? Derek, Café’s don’t have bondage gear pinned to the walls and offer butt plugs with the dessert’
‘That’s ’cause this is the most awesomest of cafés’ It was a loosing battle.
‘Here you go Sirs. One Black Coffee, one Caramel Latte extra Espresso with Cream, a Scone and a Muffin. This is today’s Specials plate and I’ll be right back with the Lashes and Paddles’
‘Thanks’
‘Awesome’
Gary took a bite out of his Muffin.
The waiter was back before he’d catalogued the things on the tray. Lashes, Studded Paddles and what appeared to be a Cat O’ Nine Tails joined the first tray on their table.
‘We have some new lines from across the range of the popular Human Touch brand. RC Stimulators, Anal Probes and Genital Restraints’ Gary crossed his legs and winced, he’d heard of Cock Rings but nothing with metal teeth and sprung hinges was every going to touch his genitals. Eyes tearing he interrupted the sales spiel with a sharp head shake. Derek was laughing behind his Coffee mug. The utter bastard.
‘Very well, I’ll leave you to look though the Lashes if you need any further assistance just ask at the counter’ He indicated where the Macchiato waitress was standing. Her breasts were gaining at least equal attention to the Specials board, she seemed oblivious though as she happily munched on a large Chocolate Cock shaped Lolly.
‘Clarice will be happy to assist you’ he almost sounded amused but his professional mask was perfect as he smiled and made to walk away.
‘Wait’ Gary stared at Derek daring him to embarrass him even further.
‘Could you bring us the plate of Vibes?’
‘Certainly Sir’ Well that was surely harmless enough?
Gary moved to taste his Latte but choked when he saw what sat on the saucer. What he’d taken for the standard Amaretti treat was a sample tube of Lube. Apricot flavour.
‘I got Raspberry’ Derek squirted a drop onto his fingers offering them to Gary then laughing and licking the digits himself, laving the shiny oil off with his tongue before sucking his fingers into his mouth cheeks hollowing and throat constricting. Gary felt his neck itch and cock jump, he knew he was turning Beetroot. The exact same colour in fact as the large curved Vibrator suddenly in front of his nose. Gary blinked at the other things on the tray.
‘THAT’S A FUCKING TROLL COCK!’
Derek roared with laughter, picking up the huge green phallic and rubbing a hand over the bumps and ridges, he waved it at Gary. Their waiter was staring hard, straight past them towards the scruffy Macchiato man who scribbled fiercely into his notebook, he didn’t speak for a moment and Gary was mortified to realise he too fought laughter. Half the café’s patrons were now staring at him. He hadn’t meant to shout it out but hell that thing was enormous, and all those ridges and bulges.
‘The Gozilla is a new product from the Dibbler luxury range, it comes with a free pack of extra strength condoms. There’s two sizes in the range..’
‘It gets bigger?’ The waiter quit and let a genuine smile form.
‘This is the larger size Sir’
‘Holy!’
‘It has three speeds from gentle massage to deep grind and..’
‘We’ll take one’
‘We will?’
‘Yes Derek we will’ Gary eyed the Vibrator snatching it off Derek and playing with the controls. He could barely stretch to cup his hands around the monster and the waiter had been understating when he said deep grind, the Godzilla went from gentle massage pleasant for aching backs to a wild out of control hold tight or you’ll drop the thing grind. His sphincter flexed.
‘Wow’
‘Double wow’
‘Very good Sirs, I’ll take one to the counter for you and you can collect it as you pay for your coffees’
‘Thanks’
Gary was to engrossed with his toy and watching Derek blink rapidly and swallow past the bobbing green rubber, to answer.
‘I’ll buy it for you’
‘Really?’
‘Well I did drag you in here’
‘That’s okay’
‘You sure?’
‘It is kind of awesome’
‘Yeah isn’t it’ Derek looked relieved obviously thinking he’d gotten off lightly ‘Want to come again sometime?’
‘Yeah, Christmas maybe’
‘Awesome. You’re awesome Gary’
‘I know’
Gary slipped his sample lube into his pocket and waited outside while Derek went to pay for his new toy, trying not to feel sleazy for hovering outside a sex café while young families walked innocently by.
‘Here you go. Can’t believe you actually chose that thing’
Gary peered into the plain bag and saw a large green box with silver flecks and a bow, there was also the free condoms and several tubes of good quality flavoured lube; Apricot, Cherry and Mai Tai.
‘Nice’
‘You really gonna use that?’
‘You bet I am’
‘It enormous’
‘Yep’
‘Wow’
‘Yep’ Gary let the glee show in his voice ‘You aren’t going to be able to walk for a month!