From multiple flist members.... Karen and I were both incrediably moved by this. He puts so well what we've been trying to say and have been saying. Beautifully said.
Hm. Maybe it's having been raised by a single divorcee who later remarried and divorced again, but I've never understood any of the sentiment that gets attached to the word 'marriage'. To me, it's always served nothing but legal purposes. As a result, despite being supportive of gay marriage just on principle (that being that everyone ought to have the same rights to do ANYTHING), I've never really grasped what the big deal was. Yeah, gays are getting screwed legally, but it always seemed a bit like they were overreacting, because I never saw as they were really missing out on much. So they don't get tax breaks or hospital visits...big loss.
But that was very...heartfelt. If THIS is what marriage means to people... Yeah. That helps to explain why this is worth so much fuss.
It is what marriage means to us. That and more, really.
I have to admit though, I'm ... shocked that you place hospital visits under the "whatever, big loss" category. You do realize we're talking about ICU and emergency situations, right? Anybody can visit during visiting hours, but only family can be there under the most extreme (aka important) situations that married couples have the right to be included in. Not being able to hold your dying love's hand, or even knowing if they're ok, or being there for them in their last moments, helping them hang in... It's a huge deal.
I can tell you from personal experience that when Karen was in the ICU, and they wouldn't let me be with her or even hear how she was doing or if she was ok till her "actual" family showed up and decided to tell me... it is a terrifying and horrible experience.
And I'm lucky. A lot of gay people get cut out of being there for a dying or possibly dying other half by bigoted families who take over the whole thing. It is, in fact, a huge loss.
I won't say I understand that, since I've never really been in that position, but I can sympathize. My issue there is that I don't understand why they get to say who can visit whom. If I were gravely injured and lying on my deathbed, there are a lot of people I'd rather be there holding my hand than most of my blood relations. It seems to me that campaigning to change hospital policies might have been an easier route than campaigning for marriage rights. But again, that's from a purely logical standpoint, not taking into account the emotion implications of marriage that I, apparently, have been missing.
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Maybe it's having been raised by a single divorcee who later remarried and divorced again, but I've never understood any of the sentiment that gets attached to the word 'marriage'. To me, it's always served nothing but legal purposes. As a result, despite being supportive of gay marriage just on principle (that being that everyone ought to have the same rights to do ANYTHING), I've never really grasped what the big deal was. Yeah, gays are getting screwed legally, but it always seemed a bit like they were overreacting, because I never saw as they were really missing out on much. So they don't get tax breaks or hospital visits...big loss.
But that was very...heartfelt. If THIS is what marriage means to people...
Yeah. That helps to explain why this is worth so much fuss.
Reply
I have to admit though, I'm ... shocked that you place hospital visits under the "whatever, big loss" category. You do realize we're talking about ICU and emergency situations, right? Anybody can visit during visiting hours, but only family can be there under the most extreme (aka important) situations that married couples have the right to be included in. Not being able to hold your dying love's hand, or even knowing if they're ok, or being there for them in their last moments, helping them hang in... It's a huge deal.
I can tell you from personal experience that when Karen was in the ICU, and they wouldn't let me be with her or even hear how she was doing or if she was ok till her "actual" family showed up and decided to tell me... it is a terrifying and horrible experience.
And I'm lucky. A lot of gay people get cut out of being there for a dying or possibly dying other half by bigoted families who take over the whole thing. It is, in fact, a huge loss.
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My issue there is that I don't understand why they get to say who can visit whom. If I were gravely injured and lying on my deathbed, there are a lot of people I'd rather be there holding my hand than most of my blood relations.
It seems to me that campaigning to change hospital policies might have been an easier route than campaigning for marriage rights. But again, that's from a purely logical standpoint, not taking into account the emotion implications of marriage that I, apparently, have been missing.
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