Rejuvenation (1/1)
Title: Rejuvenation
Summary: Remember those 10-word prompts? This is an extension of my crack one: “You’re saying that infant in Jacob’s playpen is Luke Snyder?”
Disclaimer: So not mine
Spoilers: None
Rating: G
Warnings: Crack
Luke waited out in the hall for almost a minute after his second knock. When there was still no answer, he dug out the key ring from his pocket. Truthfully, the reason he came over then, more than twenty minutes before he was supposed to meet Reid, was that Reid had just given him the key a few days ago (well, Katie had, but Reid didn’t object) and he hadn’t had a chance to use it yet.
Luke unlocked the door and stepped inside. There was definitely no one home, but he called out a greeting just in case. When there was no answer, Luke looked around the room awkwardly. Now he had to think of something to do for twenty minutes. He sighed. And then he walked farther into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Walking quickly, he grabbed the remote control as he passed the coffee table, and he flipped the TV on.
Luke continued into the kitchen and opened the fridge. If he was going to make himself at home, he may as well really go for it. Plus, he had three conference calls that afternoon and his throat was rather parched from all the talking. There was some milk, which sounded disgusting at the moment, and some sugary, caffeine-y, nutrition-less drinks that must be Reid’s. And then there was a bottle of flavored water. Luke shrugged and grabbed the water.
Twisting the cap off, he flopped onto the couch with a sigh. He took a sip of the water and made a face. It certainly didn’t taste like raspberries like the label claimed, but it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever tasted either. He took another sip.
Luke became engrossed by a talk show where people were yelling and screaming at each other about various sex scandals. Luke tried to estimate how many different shows they’d need to film to air all of Oakdale’s grievances. Before he knew it, the bottle was empty and the show was over.
Luke glanced at his watch; Reid should be there any minute. Luke turned off the TV and stood to bring the bottle over to the recycling bin. He had barely made it two steps before an unexpected twist of pain flared through his stomach. Luke bent over, breathing heavily. He looked around the empty room in shock. What was happening? Was it his kidney? Or appendix, maybe?
The pain came again, and Luke cried out. He fell to his knees and his vision blacked out. He heard, as if from a distance, the bottle hit the ground moments after it must have slipped out of his hand. And then he wasn’t aware of anything.
**
Reid skimmed the document in his hand as he blindly reached into his pocket for his keys. Still not looking up, he slipped the key into the lock. It turned too easily, and Reid smiled softly to himself as he realized it was already unlocked.
As he opened the door, he called out, “Luke, you here?”
The words and the smile died on his lips as he stared into the apartment. Then he slowly stepped back into the hallway and closed the door again. He pulled his cell out and pressed the second speed dial button.
“Hey!” Katie answered just before the third ring.
“Where are you?”
“Um…the Lakeview,” Katie said, confused.
“By yourself?”
“No, Henry and Barbara are here. And Jacob, of course. Reid, what - ?”
“So there’s no one in the apartment?”
“Not as far as I know. What’s going on?”
Reid couldn’t find the words to explain. After so long in Oakdale, he should be used to this. Hell, he was pretty sure stranger things have happened to him. There was, after all, that insanity that swept through town a couple weeks ago that some people actually claimed was the result of an honest-to-goodness Valentine’s Day love spell.
“Just come home,” he finally said.
**
Katie’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned the corner and saw Reid still in the hallway outside the apartment. He was pacing back and forth, pivoting every few steps; he was clearly agitated. Katie hoisted Jacob higher onto her hip and then glanced at Henry. Henry shrugged, and Katie walked closer.
“Reid?” she said softly.
Reid looked up, immediately stopping his pacing. “Oh, thank God you’re here.”
“Yeah. What’s going on, sweetie?”
Reid nodded at the apartment door. Katie furrowed her brow in confusion as she faced Barbara and handed her Jacob. She reached for the knob and slowly opened the door, not sure what to expect. She gasped when she saw the sight in front of her.
The baby was maybe six or seven months old. It was practically drowning in the adult-sized clothes draped over its tiny frame. Reid may have been agitated and stressed, but his reaction was nothing compared to the poor child’s. Tear streaks smeared across his face, and he was breathing heavily. When he saw Katie, he lifted his pudgy little arms, and his pouty lower lip wobbled with an impending sob.
“Oh my God,” Katie breathed out. She quickly crossed the room, reached down and picked up the baby.
He was clearly exhausted, and he buried his face into Katie’s shoulder even as he gripped her shirt. He shook his head quickly and whimpered.
“You just let him sit here by himself?” she scolded Reid.
Reid threw his hands out. “There was a strange baby sitting on the floor of the apartment. I didn’t know what to do, OK?”
“Um, guys.”
“And you call yourself a doctor,” Katie added, not paying attention to Henry’s attempts to interrupt.
“A neurosurgeon, not a pediatrician!” Reid reminded her. “And don’t you think you’re missing the point?”
“Oh? What’s the point?”
“There was a strange baby sitting on the floor of the apartment!” Reid shouted in exasperation.
In response, the baby began to cry. Which made Jacob begin to cry.
“Hey!” Henry said loudly, adding to the din.
“What?!”
“I don’t think it’s a strange baby.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean…look at its clothes.”
Everyone except Henry looked at the clothes again. It was Barbara who first made the connection, and she brought a hand to her mouth at her gasp of shock.
**
“No.”
“He’s wearing Luke’s clothes,” Katie pointed out once again. “Well, wearing might be the wrong term.”
“No.”
“Big bambi eyes. Little tufts of blondish hair,” Barbara added.
“No.”
“It looks like he got into the apartment by himself,” Henry contributed.
“No.”
“Reid!” Katie exclaimed. “It’s the best possible explanation. It’s the only explanation.”
“Would you listen to yourself?” Reid asked, laughing hysterically. “It is nowhere near either of those things. Only someone from Oakdale would think otherwise!”
“You know,” Henry said. “You’ve lived here for a year now. You’re ‘from Oakdale.’”
Reid stared at him. “Your shirt’s hideous,” he said by way of reply.
Katie held up a calming hand and stepped in between Reid and Henry. “Reid, all I’m saying is - ”
Reid interrupted, losing his calm again as he pointed to the corner of the living room. “You’re saying that infant in Jacob’s playpen is Luke Snyder!”
At Reid’s yell, the baby’s little face scrunched up, and he burst into sobs again. Katie groaned. She walked across the room and picked him up. As she walked back to Reid, she attempted to calm the baby with no luck.
“Then give me a better explanation,” Katie demanded.
“I can’t. I can’t even think over that racket,” Reid grumbled.
“No kidding,” Henry chimed in. He was sitting on the far end of the couch, one hand propping his head up.
Reid glanced at him, annoyed that they agreed on something.
“OK, well, here’s an idea,” Katie said as she reached the limits of her patience. “You make him be quiet.”
The very next second, Reid found himself holding the baby. He stared down at it, and the kid stared back up at him. He immediately stopped screaming, instead choosing to stick the fingers of his right hand in his mouth and drool around them (and onto Reid’s shirt).
“Of course,” Reid grumbled.
The baby (Reid clamped down hard on the tiny voice in his head that called him Luke) laughed and rocked forward into Reid’s chest.
“Awww,” Katie and Barbara both said.
“Shut up.”
Henry stood up, ignoring them all as he reached into his pocket and removed his cell phone. “We need to call Lily,” he announced.
“And Margo,” Barb added. “There’s no way something like this happens in any sort of legal way."
Katie took out her own cell phone. “I’m calling Chris. We probably should have a doctor check out Luke.”
“I’m a doctor,” Reid reminded her grumpily. “And it’s not Luke!”
“You’re a neurosurgeon, not a pediatrician, remember?” Katie threw his own words back at him.
Reid scowled, and the baby lifted one little hand and pressed it against his mouth.
**
“Wow,” Margo breathed out as she stared at the baby.
Reid was still holding him. Every time he tried to pass the baby off to someone else, even Lily, he’d scream his head off again. It was getting a little (a lot) ridiculous.
“How is this even possible?” Lily asked, slightly hysterically.
“We should get DNA tests,” Margo declared. “From you and Damian.”
“It’s him. I know it is.”
“Lily.”
“Margo, I’m his mother. I know.”
“Fine, but I need more.”
“I agree, Lily,” Katie said. “I think we need to prove it, or else how will we ever be able to - ”
“You’re right, you’re right,” Lily agreed.
“Chris is waiting for us at the hospital. We can get samples there,” Margo said. “Let’s go.
The group prepared to finally leave the apartment. As they maneuvered around each other trying to get together coats and belongings, Henry's foot went under the edge of the couch and his toes kicked against something. The sound of an empty water bottle skidding across the floor caught everyone’s attention.
“What’s that?” Katie asked. She stepped over to it and picked it up. “Henry, isn’t this - ?”
“Yeah,” Henry confirmed.
“What is it?” Margo demanded.
“It’s a sample of a new product a salesman tried to convince me to offer at Metro. I got a free one right before I met Katie here. I threw it in the fridge for later.”
“Luke must have drunk it,” Lily realized.
“Which means whatever caused this…”
“Was meant for me,” Henry concluded.
Margo nodded slowly. “OK. Who, though, would have the resources to figure out how to do something like this and the desire to go after you?”
Henry and Barbara looked at each other. After a moment, they said simultaneously, “James Stenbeck.”
“Who?” Reid asked.
“My ex.” “My father.”
Reid shook his head quickly. “Wait, what?”
Katie patted his arm. “Not now, hon.”
“Oh my God, Paul!” Barbara exclaimed.
**
“Hey.”
Barbara turned around quickly, exhaling in relief when Paul joined the others at the hospital. He held up a bottle exactly like the one found at Katie’s apartment.
“This what you’re talking about?”
“Yes,” Margo said, taking the bottle from him. “Where did you get this?”
Paul shrugged. “It was in the fridge at home. I figured it was Emily’s but she swears it’s not.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if…” Barbara muttered, stopping when Henry put a hand to her arm.
Paul glared at his mother. “Don’t start.”
Margo ignored their bickering and waved a nurse over to their group instead.
“Could you please take this down to the toxicology lab? We need to find out what’s in this water.”
“You really think James Stenbeck is involved in this somehow?” Paul asked.
“Can you think of anyone else who would go after you and Henry?”
“No, it’s just,” Paul reminded them, in that unfazed way he approached most incredible news. “He’s dead. Literally and figuratively. We burned his photographs and toasted his ashes.”
Henry sighed. “It seems the rumors of James Stenbeck’s death…”
**
Lu - the baby’s cries filled the room and gave Reid quite the headache. Lily fretting next to him put his very last nerve on edge. And no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t quite stop the urge to grab the baby away from Chris, who apparently was torturing him, based on how the baby squirmed around on the exam table and reached pathetically out for Reid.
This day truly sucked.
“You know, they say babies can sense evil,” he observed quietly.
Chris gritted his teeth and ignored him as he replied, “Well, I see nothing physically wrong with him.”
Reid immediately stepped around him and picked up the baby. Just to shut him up - no other reason. He clung to Reid, whimpering as his sobs died down.
“Lily, let’s take a cheek swab. We can compare it to the one we took from the baby here,” Chris continued.
**
When he and Luke finally stopped waiting and started going at it every chance they got, Reid had declared that he would never sleep over at Luke’s, at least not until he got his own place. There was just no way he was going to do naughty, naughty things to and with Luke with his mom - and more importantly, young siblings - down the hall. He didn’t even want to just sleep there.
Even still, Reid suspected that he’d eventually lose all will power (he had with just about everything else when it came to Luke) and cave. He never would have believed it’d be because he was unwilling to leave an infant that may or may not be his boyfriend. Lily, of course, refused to leave him as well, so here Reid was. At Luke’s mother’s house, with a baby she swore up and down was hers and who couldn’t be happier splashing around in the couple inches of water he sat in.
Reid knelt next to the tub. He had rolled his sleeves up past his elbows and was carefully reading the instructions on the bottle of Johnson’s baby shampoo. The baby squealed loudly as he moved around in the water. Reid glanced over at him, then sighed. He poured some of the shampoo in his hands and reached out to scrub the kid's tiny head.
“I’m trying very hard not to think about the last time I had you naked in a bathtub,” he muttered.
There was a quick knock at the door. Reid looked up to see Holden (and, for some reason, Casey Hughes) enter the room.
“How is he?” Holden asked.
Reid shrugged. “He’s not crying. I consider it a win.”
Holden nodded. “Just got back from the pen. We got a DNA sample from Damian, who was far too intrigued by the idea of a helpless baby Luke for my liking.”
Reid’s hands involuntarily tightened protectively around the baby’s shoulders. He broke eye contact with Holden and stared at the baby.
“We gotta figure this out soon,” he said.
Holden sighed. “I agree.”
Lily’s voice drifted up to them, and Holden stepped away to see what she wanted. That left only Casey, who stared at the baby in shock and amusement.
“I had to see this for myself. I can’t believe it.”
“I won’t believe it,” Reid lied. “Not until the tests come back, at least.”
“Oh, come on!” Casey exclaimed. “That’s totally him. I can tell.”
“I can’t,” Reid lied again. “You know why?”
“Why?” Casey asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.
“Because putting him to bed doesn’t usually entail The Poky Little Puppy!”
Casey smirked. “Gee, Doc. Luke is way younger than you anyway. I just always assumed you liked them that - no, you know what? I’m listening to myself saying this and ew. That was gross. Sorry.”
Reid shook his head. “Get out of here.”
“Yeah.”
Casey left then, and Reid looked back at the baby. He was staring up at him (with Luke’s eyes). Reid lifted a hand to the bridge of his nose and squeezed against the impending headache.
**
“I don’t feel comfortable with this,” Reid said, staring at the glass vial in his hand. “I feel like we should test it first.”
The police had caught James Stenbeck outside of Bay City. He had been attempting to hop a train and escape, once he realized his plan had gone wrong. Eventually, he confessed he had wanted to get a chance to start over with his sons and raise them to follow in his footsteps; ruining Barbara’s marriage would have been an added bonus. Obviously, he had no control over actually making sure they drank the…potion. And that’s where it got to be too much for Reid. Apparently, Stenbeck’s extremely implausible story involved a flower from the Amazon rainforest, and…possibly a shaman or a witch or something. Reid had stopped listening to protect his own sanity. All that mattered was that Stenbeck also had the antidote.
Margo shook her head. “We can’t test it. He said that was the exact amount needed. We don’t have any other choice but to just…try it and hope.”
Reid exhaled in frustration. He stepped up to the crib in the hospital room where baby Luke (the DNA tests had come back as a positive match, and Reid was still trying to accept that) was sitting, naked underneath the blanket in the hope that his borrowed clothes would soon be way too small for him.
“OK, here we go,” he said quietly.
He removed the stopper from the vial and held it up to Luke’s mouth. Luke struggled a bit, making a face at the taste, but ultimately drank the liquid.
“Now what?” Margo wondered.
The effects were almost instantaneous. The baby began to cry as he contorted and…grew. Reid reached out quickly, placing his hands on him, trying to comfort him in some way. He had no luck, and the process looked excruciating, but within minutes, it was over. Luke - the real, adult, regular Luke - blinked back at Reid in surprise and confusion and lingering pain.
“What happened?” he asked.
Margo stepped closer, prepared to answer. Luke suddenly realized his state of undress and blushed, the deep red flush even spreading across his bare chest.
“Why am I naked? And - why am I in a crib?”
Reid bent forward and leaned weakly against the rail of the crib, unable to stop his relieved laugh.
**
Reid led Luke into the apartment. Luke was still in shock and still sore, and he was moving slowly. They sat down on the couch, and Reid turned to look at him.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at the hospital overnight? For observation.”
“I’m sure,” Luke repeated for something like the tenth time since they left Memorial. “I’m gonna be 100 percent in no time, I can feel it. I just want to sleep, and I want to do that in your arms.”
Reid gave him a small smile. Luke leaned forward to kiss him, but Reid backed away. Luke opened his eyes, slightly hurt.
“What is it?”
“I’m just,” Reid said uncomfortably. “I’m going to need a little time to…uh…forget that…I don’t know.”
Luke tilted his head questioningly.
“I changed your diaper,” Reid tried to explain. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do that for another 50, 60 years, at least.”
Luke burst into laughter. Every time he tried to speak again, he caught the expression on Reid’s face and lost control again. Finally, minutes later, he took a few deep breaths and calmed down enough to continue their conversation.
“I’m sorry,” he said as sincerely as he could, considering he was still fighting a grin.
Reid shrugged. “It wasn’t all bad. You were a cute kid, actually. And you just…I don’t know, I felt…”
“Katie told me you got all squishy,” Luke teased.
“Katie’s a pathological liar.”
Luke didn’t reply verbally. He simply smiled fondly at Reid as he reached a hand out and threaded his fingers through Reid’s hair.
“I…it’s just…I could…many, many, many years from now, maybe we should…”
Luke laughed bashfully, a blush rising in his cheeks as he bent his head forward. “Maybe we should start with a puppy.”
“Probably have to live together for that,” Reid commented cautiously.
“Says the person whose roommate had to give his boyfriend a key to their place?”
Reid shrugged self-deprecatingly. Luke leaned forward and pressed his lips to Reid’s mouth. At Reid’s muffled protest, Luke pulled back. He shook his head.
“Gotta get past this, because I’m not gonna stop kissing you.”
Reid looked up at him, exhaled, and slightly nodded. Luke surged forward again.
The End
A/N: NO LIE: I had already decided it was going to be James Stenbeck with some kind of concoction that made people young again BEFORE I wikipediad him and realized they actually had a similar plot on the show itself. CRAZY, HUH?
Summary: Remember those 10-word prompts? This is an extension of my crack one: “You’re saying that infant in Jacob’s playpen is Luke Snyder?”
Disclaimer: So not mine
Spoilers: None
Rating: G
Warnings: Crack
Luke waited out in the hall for almost a minute after his second knock. When there was still no answer, he dug out the key ring from his pocket. Truthfully, the reason he came over then, more than twenty minutes before he was supposed to meet Reid, was that Reid had just given him the key a few days ago (well, Katie had, but Reid didn’t object) and he hadn’t had a chance to use it yet.
Luke unlocked the door and stepped inside. There was definitely no one home, but he called out a greeting just in case. When there was no answer, Luke looked around the room awkwardly. Now he had to think of something to do for twenty minutes. He sighed. And then he walked farther into the apartment, closing the door behind him. Walking quickly, he grabbed the remote control as he passed the coffee table, and he flipped the TV on.
Luke continued into the kitchen and opened the fridge. If he was going to make himself at home, he may as well really go for it. Plus, he had three conference calls that afternoon and his throat was rather parched from all the talking. There was some milk, which sounded disgusting at the moment, and some sugary, caffeine-y, nutrition-less drinks that must be Reid’s. And then there was a bottle of flavored water. Luke shrugged and grabbed the water.
Twisting the cap off, he flopped onto the couch with a sigh. He took a sip of the water and made a face. It certainly didn’t taste like raspberries like the label claimed, but it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever tasted either. He took another sip.
Luke became engrossed by a talk show where people were yelling and screaming at each other about various sex scandals. Luke tried to estimate how many different shows they’d need to film to air all of Oakdale’s grievances. Before he knew it, the bottle was empty and the show was over.
Luke glanced at his watch; Reid should be there any minute. Luke turned off the TV and stood to bring the bottle over to the recycling bin. He had barely made it two steps before an unexpected twist of pain flared through his stomach. Luke bent over, breathing heavily. He looked around the empty room in shock. What was happening? Was it his kidney? Or appendix, maybe?
The pain came again, and Luke cried out. He fell to his knees and his vision blacked out. He heard, as if from a distance, the bottle hit the ground moments after it must have slipped out of his hand. And then he wasn’t aware of anything.
**
Reid skimmed the document in his hand as he blindly reached into his pocket for his keys. Still not looking up, he slipped the key into the lock. It turned too easily, and Reid smiled softly to himself as he realized it was already unlocked.
As he opened the door, he called out, “Luke, you here?”
The words and the smile died on his lips as he stared into the apartment. Then he slowly stepped back into the hallway and closed the door again. He pulled his cell out and pressed the second speed dial button.
“Hey!” Katie answered just before the third ring.
“Where are you?”
“Um…the Lakeview,” Katie said, confused.
“By yourself?”
“No, Henry and Barbara are here. And Jacob, of course. Reid, what - ?”
“So there’s no one in the apartment?”
“Not as far as I know. What’s going on?”
Reid couldn’t find the words to explain. After so long in Oakdale, he should be used to this. Hell, he was pretty sure stranger things have happened to him. There was, after all, that insanity that swept through town a couple weeks ago that some people actually claimed was the result of an honest-to-goodness Valentine’s Day love spell.
“Just come home,” he finally said.
**
Katie’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned the corner and saw Reid still in the hallway outside the apartment. He was pacing back and forth, pivoting every few steps; he was clearly agitated. Katie hoisted Jacob higher onto her hip and then glanced at Henry. Henry shrugged, and Katie walked closer.
“Reid?” she said softly.
Reid looked up, immediately stopping his pacing. “Oh, thank God you’re here.”
“Yeah. What’s going on, sweetie?”
Reid nodded at the apartment door. Katie furrowed her brow in confusion as she faced Barbara and handed her Jacob. She reached for the knob and slowly opened the door, not sure what to expect. She gasped when she saw the sight in front of her.
The baby was maybe six or seven months old. It was practically drowning in the adult-sized clothes draped over its tiny frame. Reid may have been agitated and stressed, but his reaction was nothing compared to the poor child’s. Tear streaks smeared across his face, and he was breathing heavily. When he saw Katie, he lifted his pudgy little arms, and his pouty lower lip wobbled with an impending sob.
“Oh my God,” Katie breathed out. She quickly crossed the room, reached down and picked up the baby.
He was clearly exhausted, and he buried his face into Katie’s shoulder even as he gripped her shirt. He shook his head quickly and whimpered.
“You just let him sit here by himself?” she scolded Reid.
Reid threw his hands out. “There was a strange baby sitting on the floor of the apartment. I didn’t know what to do, OK?”
“Um, guys.”
“And you call yourself a doctor,” Katie added, not paying attention to Henry’s attempts to interrupt.
“A neurosurgeon, not a pediatrician!” Reid reminded her. “And don’t you think you’re missing the point?”
“Oh? What’s the point?”
“There was a strange baby sitting on the floor of the apartment!” Reid shouted in exasperation.
In response, the baby began to cry. Which made Jacob begin to cry.
“Hey!” Henry said loudly, adding to the din.
“What?!”
“I don’t think it’s a strange baby.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean…look at its clothes.”
Everyone except Henry looked at the clothes again. It was Barbara who first made the connection, and she brought a hand to her mouth at her gasp of shock.
**
“No.”
“He’s wearing Luke’s clothes,” Katie pointed out once again. “Well, wearing might be the wrong term.”
“No.”
“Big bambi eyes. Little tufts of blondish hair,” Barbara added.
“No.”
“It looks like he got into the apartment by himself,” Henry contributed.
“No.”
“Reid!” Katie exclaimed. “It’s the best possible explanation. It’s the only explanation.”
“Would you listen to yourself?” Reid asked, laughing hysterically. “It is nowhere near either of those things. Only someone from Oakdale would think otherwise!”
“You know,” Henry said. “You’ve lived here for a year now. You’re ‘from Oakdale.’”
Reid stared at him. “Your shirt’s hideous,” he said by way of reply.
Katie held up a calming hand and stepped in between Reid and Henry. “Reid, all I’m saying is - ”
Reid interrupted, losing his calm again as he pointed to the corner of the living room. “You’re saying that infant in Jacob’s playpen is Luke Snyder!”
At Reid’s yell, the baby’s little face scrunched up, and he burst into sobs again. Katie groaned. She walked across the room and picked him up. As she walked back to Reid, she attempted to calm the baby with no luck.
“Then give me a better explanation,” Katie demanded.
“I can’t. I can’t even think over that racket,” Reid grumbled.
“No kidding,” Henry chimed in. He was sitting on the far end of the couch, one hand propping his head up.
Reid glanced at him, annoyed that they agreed on something.
“OK, well, here’s an idea,” Katie said as she reached the limits of her patience. “You make him be quiet.”
The very next second, Reid found himself holding the baby. He stared down at it, and the kid stared back up at him. He immediately stopped screaming, instead choosing to stick the fingers of his right hand in his mouth and drool around them (and onto Reid’s shirt).
“Of course,” Reid grumbled.
The baby (Reid clamped down hard on the tiny voice in his head that called him Luke) laughed and rocked forward into Reid’s chest.
“Awww,” Katie and Barbara both said.
“Shut up.”
Henry stood up, ignoring them all as he reached into his pocket and removed his cell phone. “We need to call Lily,” he announced.
“And Margo,” Barb added. “There’s no way something like this happens in any sort of legal way."
Katie took out her own cell phone. “I’m calling Chris. We probably should have a doctor check out Luke.”
“I’m a doctor,” Reid reminded her grumpily. “And it’s not Luke!”
“You’re a neurosurgeon, not a pediatrician, remember?” Katie threw his own words back at him.
Reid scowled, and the baby lifted one little hand and pressed it against his mouth.
**
“Wow,” Margo breathed out as she stared at the baby.
Reid was still holding him. Every time he tried to pass the baby off to someone else, even Lily, he’d scream his head off again. It was getting a little (a lot) ridiculous.
“How is this even possible?” Lily asked, slightly hysterically.
“We should get DNA tests,” Margo declared. “From you and Damian.”
“It’s him. I know it is.”
“Lily.”
“Margo, I’m his mother. I know.”
“Fine, but I need more.”
“I agree, Lily,” Katie said. “I think we need to prove it, or else how will we ever be able to - ”
“You’re right, you’re right,” Lily agreed.
“Chris is waiting for us at the hospital. We can get samples there,” Margo said. “Let’s go.
The group prepared to finally leave the apartment. As they maneuvered around each other trying to get together coats and belongings, Henry's foot went under the edge of the couch and his toes kicked against something. The sound of an empty water bottle skidding across the floor caught everyone’s attention.
“What’s that?” Katie asked. She stepped over to it and picked it up. “Henry, isn’t this - ?”
“Yeah,” Henry confirmed.
“What is it?” Margo demanded.
“It’s a sample of a new product a salesman tried to convince me to offer at Metro. I got a free one right before I met Katie here. I threw it in the fridge for later.”
“Luke must have drunk it,” Lily realized.
“Which means whatever caused this…”
“Was meant for me,” Henry concluded.
Margo nodded slowly. “OK. Who, though, would have the resources to figure out how to do something like this and the desire to go after you?”
Henry and Barbara looked at each other. After a moment, they said simultaneously, “James Stenbeck.”
“Who?” Reid asked.
“My ex.” “My father.”
Reid shook his head quickly. “Wait, what?”
Katie patted his arm. “Not now, hon.”
“Oh my God, Paul!” Barbara exclaimed.
**
“Hey.”
Barbara turned around quickly, exhaling in relief when Paul joined the others at the hospital. He held up a bottle exactly like the one found at Katie’s apartment.
“This what you’re talking about?”
“Yes,” Margo said, taking the bottle from him. “Where did you get this?”
Paul shrugged. “It was in the fridge at home. I figured it was Emily’s but she swears it’s not.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if…” Barbara muttered, stopping when Henry put a hand to her arm.
Paul glared at his mother. “Don’t start.”
Margo ignored their bickering and waved a nurse over to their group instead.
“Could you please take this down to the toxicology lab? We need to find out what’s in this water.”
“You really think James Stenbeck is involved in this somehow?” Paul asked.
“Can you think of anyone else who would go after you and Henry?”
“No, it’s just,” Paul reminded them, in that unfazed way he approached most incredible news. “He’s dead. Literally and figuratively. We burned his photographs and toasted his ashes.”
Henry sighed. “It seems the rumors of James Stenbeck’s death…”
**
Lu - the baby’s cries filled the room and gave Reid quite the headache. Lily fretting next to him put his very last nerve on edge. And no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t quite stop the urge to grab the baby away from Chris, who apparently was torturing him, based on how the baby squirmed around on the exam table and reached pathetically out for Reid.
This day truly sucked.
“You know, they say babies can sense evil,” he observed quietly.
Chris gritted his teeth and ignored him as he replied, “Well, I see nothing physically wrong with him.”
Reid immediately stepped around him and picked up the baby. Just to shut him up - no other reason. He clung to Reid, whimpering as his sobs died down.
“Lily, let’s take a cheek swab. We can compare it to the one we took from the baby here,” Chris continued.
**
When he and Luke finally stopped waiting and started going at it every chance they got, Reid had declared that he would never sleep over at Luke’s, at least not until he got his own place. There was just no way he was going to do naughty, naughty things to and with Luke with his mom - and more importantly, young siblings - down the hall. He didn’t even want to just sleep there.
Even still, Reid suspected that he’d eventually lose all will power (he had with just about everything else when it came to Luke) and cave. He never would have believed it’d be because he was unwilling to leave an infant that may or may not be his boyfriend. Lily, of course, refused to leave him as well, so here Reid was. At Luke’s mother’s house, with a baby she swore up and down was hers and who couldn’t be happier splashing around in the couple inches of water he sat in.
Reid knelt next to the tub. He had rolled his sleeves up past his elbows and was carefully reading the instructions on the bottle of Johnson’s baby shampoo. The baby squealed loudly as he moved around in the water. Reid glanced over at him, then sighed. He poured some of the shampoo in his hands and reached out to scrub the kid's tiny head.
“I’m trying very hard not to think about the last time I had you naked in a bathtub,” he muttered.
There was a quick knock at the door. Reid looked up to see Holden (and, for some reason, Casey Hughes) enter the room.
“How is he?” Holden asked.
Reid shrugged. “He’s not crying. I consider it a win.”
Holden nodded. “Just got back from the pen. We got a DNA sample from Damian, who was far too intrigued by the idea of a helpless baby Luke for my liking.”
Reid’s hands involuntarily tightened protectively around the baby’s shoulders. He broke eye contact with Holden and stared at the baby.
“We gotta figure this out soon,” he said.
Holden sighed. “I agree.”
Lily’s voice drifted up to them, and Holden stepped away to see what she wanted. That left only Casey, who stared at the baby in shock and amusement.
“I had to see this for myself. I can’t believe it.”
“I won’t believe it,” Reid lied. “Not until the tests come back, at least.”
“Oh, come on!” Casey exclaimed. “That’s totally him. I can tell.”
“I can’t,” Reid lied again. “You know why?”
“Why?” Casey asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.
“Because putting him to bed doesn’t usually entail The Poky Little Puppy!”
Casey smirked. “Gee, Doc. Luke is way younger than you anyway. I just always assumed you liked them that - no, you know what? I’m listening to myself saying this and ew. That was gross. Sorry.”
Reid shook his head. “Get out of here.”
“Yeah.”
Casey left then, and Reid looked back at the baby. He was staring up at him (with Luke’s eyes). Reid lifted a hand to the bridge of his nose and squeezed against the impending headache.
**
“I don’t feel comfortable with this,” Reid said, staring at the glass vial in his hand. “I feel like we should test it first.”
The police had caught James Stenbeck outside of Bay City. He had been attempting to hop a train and escape, once he realized his plan had gone wrong. Eventually, he confessed he had wanted to get a chance to start over with his sons and raise them to follow in his footsteps; ruining Barbara’s marriage would have been an added bonus. Obviously, he had no control over actually making sure they drank the…potion. And that’s where it got to be too much for Reid. Apparently, Stenbeck’s extremely implausible story involved a flower from the Amazon rainforest, and…possibly a shaman or a witch or something. Reid had stopped listening to protect his own sanity. All that mattered was that Stenbeck also had the antidote.
Margo shook her head. “We can’t test it. He said that was the exact amount needed. We don’t have any other choice but to just…try it and hope.”
Reid exhaled in frustration. He stepped up to the crib in the hospital room where baby Luke (the DNA tests had come back as a positive match, and Reid was still trying to accept that) was sitting, naked underneath the blanket in the hope that his borrowed clothes would soon be way too small for him.
“OK, here we go,” he said quietly.
He removed the stopper from the vial and held it up to Luke’s mouth. Luke struggled a bit, making a face at the taste, but ultimately drank the liquid.
“Now what?” Margo wondered.
The effects were almost instantaneous. The baby began to cry as he contorted and…grew. Reid reached out quickly, placing his hands on him, trying to comfort him in some way. He had no luck, and the process looked excruciating, but within minutes, it was over. Luke - the real, adult, regular Luke - blinked back at Reid in surprise and confusion and lingering pain.
“What happened?” he asked.
Margo stepped closer, prepared to answer. Luke suddenly realized his state of undress and blushed, the deep red flush even spreading across his bare chest.
“Why am I naked? And - why am I in a crib?”
Reid bent forward and leaned weakly against the rail of the crib, unable to stop his relieved laugh.
**
Reid led Luke into the apartment. Luke was still in shock and still sore, and he was moving slowly. They sat down on the couch, and Reid turned to look at him.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at the hospital overnight? For observation.”
“I’m sure,” Luke repeated for something like the tenth time since they left Memorial. “I’m gonna be 100 percent in no time, I can feel it. I just want to sleep, and I want to do that in your arms.”
Reid gave him a small smile. Luke leaned forward to kiss him, but Reid backed away. Luke opened his eyes, slightly hurt.
“What is it?”
“I’m just,” Reid said uncomfortably. “I’m going to need a little time to…uh…forget that…I don’t know.”
Luke tilted his head questioningly.
“I changed your diaper,” Reid tried to explain. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to do that for another 50, 60 years, at least.”
Luke burst into laughter. Every time he tried to speak again, he caught the expression on Reid’s face and lost control again. Finally, minutes later, he took a few deep breaths and calmed down enough to continue their conversation.
“I’m sorry,” he said as sincerely as he could, considering he was still fighting a grin.
Reid shrugged. “It wasn’t all bad. You were a cute kid, actually. And you just…I don’t know, I felt…”
“Katie told me you got all squishy,” Luke teased.
“Katie’s a pathological liar.”
Luke didn’t reply verbally. He simply smiled fondly at Reid as he reached a hand out and threaded his fingers through Reid’s hair.
“I…it’s just…I could…many, many, many years from now, maybe we should…”
Luke laughed bashfully, a blush rising in his cheeks as he bent his head forward. “Maybe we should start with a puppy.”
“Probably have to live together for that,” Reid commented cautiously.
“Says the person whose roommate had to give his boyfriend a key to their place?”
Reid shrugged self-deprecatingly. Luke leaned forward and pressed his lips to Reid’s mouth. At Reid’s muffled protest, Luke pulled back. He shook his head.
“Gotta get past this, because I’m not gonna stop kissing you.”
Reid looked up at him, exhaled, and slightly nodded. Luke surged forward again.
The End
A/N: NO LIE: I had already decided it was going to be James Stenbeck with some kind of concoction that made people young again BEFORE I wikipediad him and realized they actually had a similar plot on the show itself. CRAZY, HUH?