Stealth (1/2)
Title: Stealth (1/2)
Summary: Inspired by (some of the) spoilers. What happens after Bob issues his ultimatum.
Disclaimer: Alas.
Rating: NC-17
A/N: Title obviously an homage to fatherbananas's wonderful cartoon saga. I really wanted to fit Lucinja in here, but unfortunately couldn't quite make it work.
It took Luke almost an hour to finally realize why Noah’s last jab didn’t hurt him as much as he felt like it should.
It took Reid three rings to pick up the phone.
And it took just one brief conversation for Luke to get his heart broken that day after all.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. How’d things go with Bob? Sorry for just bailing on you but…Bob scares me a little, to be honest. It has to do with this time that Casey and I - ”
“It’s fine,” Reid interrupted tersely. It was beginning to scare Luke how easily he could read his moods.
“Doesn’t sound like it,” Luke said.
“What do you want, Luke?”
“I, ah,” Luke paused, steeling himself. “I thought we could finish that conversation we were having.”
Reid didn’t say anything for a beat. “I don’t think so.”
Luke squinted in confusion, then tried a different tactic. He responded, letting just the smallest amount of flirtation into his voice, “OK. We don’t have to talk.”
“Luke, I - I’m putting an end to this. We can’t do this anymore.”
Luke felt the blood drain out of his face. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that Bob made it very clear what the consequences of having a personal relationship with a major donor would be.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Reid said, and Luke was too upset to hear the other man’s voice break.
“So, uh. You’re just…I mean, that’s it? After everything, after - you’re just going to - ”
“There’s not much of a choice, is there Luke?” And the cold, arrogant, rude Reid Oliver was back. The only thing that kept Luke from losing it completely was that he now knew how much of a mask that was. “I told you before. All I am is a doctor. I’ve put too much money and time and effort into my career to throw it all away for a guy who can’t decide from one day to the next what he wants.”
But I know now, Luke couldn’t say out loud. Because he realized Reid was right. He had hesitated too long; he had taken Reid’s feelings for granted. All he could do now was respect Reid’s decision. It wouldn’t be fair to cause him any more pain.
“Fine,” Luke heard himself say. “I understand. Goodbye.”
And he hung up before either one of them could speak again.
**
Luke looked up in surprise as a person unexpectedly dropped into the seat across from him. Then he sighed in relief when he realized it was Casey.
“Hey,” he said, turning back to his coffee.
“Yeah, good to see you too,” Casey said sarcastically. “You’re right. It has been a while.”
Luke sighed and looked back up. “Sorry. How are you?”
“Just talked to Noah,” Casey said leadingly, avoiding the question. “Turns out I’m not your only ex.”
Luke didn’t say anything, not even rising to the joke of his and Casey’s past relationship.
“He’s OK, if you were curious,” Casey continued.
“Not really,” Luke responded. It lacked any sort of bitterness or regret, and Luke was actually proud of himself for that.
The door to Java opened, and Luke happened to glance up at just the right moment to see Reid walk in. They made eye contact, and Luke felt his whole body flush and his heart rate increase as a rushing sound filled his ears. It was the first time Luke had seen him since the day of the meeting and the punch and Bob’s threat. Since the day Reid had ended things between them.
In his head, Luke stood up abruptly and hurried over to Reid, knocking over his chair in his haste. He took Reid’s hands in his own and they stared at each other, explanations and apologies and understanding flashing in their eyes. They didn’t have to say a single word.
In reality, Luke couldn’t move. Reid held his gaze for one more half-second before turning away and walking up to the counter. Luke swallowed.
“Luke!”
Luke jumped in his seat, facing Casey again. Casey was staring back at him.
“Sorry. What?”
“So it’s true? What Noah said - you’re…with Dr. Oliver?”
“No,” Luke said. “I’m not.”
“Really? Kind of looks like it to me.”
Luke sighed.
“Hey, I’m not judging. There’s something to be said for older lovers.”
Luke turned to Casey, a quizzical expression on his face. “What?”
Casey paused. “We’re talking about you,” he said evasively.
Luke narrowed his eyes. Casey smiled nervously.
**
If there was one benefit from it all, Luke was actually being super-productive. He had thrown himself into his work with the foundation, and was putting several hours in at the shipping company every other day. About two weeks later, he was working at home, staring at spreadsheets and reports. His eyes were starting to bug out so he closed the program and rubbed his face briskly.
Sitting up straight again, he stared at his computer desktop. He had replaced the picture of him and Noah with one of Reid in scrubs. He had taken it secretly with his phone several weeks ago, when Reid was half-turned away from him and reading a patient file. The dedication and concentration on his face was incredibly sexy, and Luke could stare at this picture for hours.
Luke swallowed. It was time to give up, to let go. Reid didn’t want him, at least not enough. And he wasn’t going to do this to himself anymore. Luke leaned forward, clicking the mouse until the picture disappeared and a group shot of his siblings was there instead.
There was a knock on the door, and Luke looked up, startled. He walked to the door, and his surprise only grew.
“Noah!”
“Hi…Luke,” his ex-boyfriend said cautiously.
“Come in,” Luke said, stepping aside to let Noah enter. “What are you doing here?”
“I just - I came to say goodbye.”
Luke narrowed his eyes and shook his head imperceptibly. “I don’t understand.”
“I got into this summer film program. In New York. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Noah! That’s amazing!” Luke said sincerely. “Congratulations.”
Noah nodded, looking down at his hands. “Thanks. Anyway…”
They stared at each other, and Noah swallowed thickly. “Maybe when I get back, we can - ”
Luke felt his heart start to pound. “We can…?”
Noah shrugged. “Try to…fix us.”
Luke took a deep breath. For the longest time, this was the thing he had dreamed of, wished for. Noah wanting him back, wanting to make it work. And now…
“I don’t think so,” Luke said softly. “I think it’s well and truly over.”
“Why? Because of Dr. Oliver?” Noah asked sharply.
Luke shook his head. “No, Noah. We’re not - Because of me and you. I want to stay friends, Noah, I really do. But it’s time to end this. For good. It’s just not working anymore.”
“Fine,” Noah said shortly. “I’ll see you in a couple months.”
“Noah,” Luke said exasperatedly.
“No, you’re right,” Noah said, turning quickly and walking out the door.
**
Luke didn’t see Reid again for another week. And when he did, it was under pretty embarrassing and horrible circumstances.
“I’m fine,” Luke said, gritting his teeth.
“Humor me,” Holden replied.
Luke sighed, tilting his head back as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed and waited for the nurse. He and his dad had been out riding when his horse spooked and bucked. It wasn’t the first time Luke was thrown, and it wouldn’t be the last, and he was up on his feet in less than a minute. But Holden liked to worry about him.
The door opened abruptly, and both Snyders turned to look at the new arrival. Luke met Reid’s eyes almost immediately, and he wanted to believe he saw concern, even worry, underneath the professional distance.
“Mr. Snyder,” Reid said in that infuriating way he had, looking back at his file. “You have quite the medical history. You do seem to have a knack for ending up here, don’t you?”
Luke smiled. It was pure Reid, and he couldn’t have been happier. “I’m talented.”
“Mmm,” Reid replied noncommittally. He snapped the file folder shut. “Where does it hurt?”
Everywhere, Luke thought. “Nowhere,” he said. “I’m fine.”
“You were thrown from a horse.”
Luke shrugged. “Not the first time.”
“I’m going to get some coffee,” Holden interrupted, giving Luke a knowing look, as if maybe this had been his plan all along. “See you in a bit.”
Reid barely acknowledged Holden as he slipped out of the room. Then he turned back to Luke, stepping closer and pulling out a penlight.
“Did you hit your head?” he asked.
Luke flinched, trying to avoid the light. Reid raised a hand to Luke’s chin, holding him in place.
“Honestly, I’m fine. It’s just my dad being my dad.”
Reid sighed, turning off the light and putting it back in his pocket. “You can move everything. No stiffness?”
Luke pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows as he shook his head.
“OK,” Reid said, already dismissing Luke as he started to make a note in the file. “If you start to feel any pain later, be sure to get it checked out.”
Reid threw him a half-smile and turned away. He had made it to the door before Luke found his voice.
“Reid!”
Reid paused, sighing as his shoulders dropped and he turned to face Luke. “What?”
Luke’s mouth opened and closed. Then, almost against his will, he said, “You could have fought for me.”
Reid shifted, avoiding Luke’s eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”
“You could have said you wanted both,” Luke continued forcefully. “You have the upper hand here. You really think Bob would just let you walk away? You could get a job anywhere in a heartbeat and he knows it. You didn’t call his bluff. You didn’t even try. Because you were scared.”
“What?” Reid said, finally looking at Luke, anger and hurt in his eyes.
“It was finally getting real, and you didn’t want to deal with that. You were in control, you were the one driving things when it came to you and me, and then suddenly you weren’t. And that scared you.”
“That…is rich,” Reid said. “I have been nothing but - I was scared? I was scared? You were the one going back and forth. I made it clear what I wanted, that I had feelings for you. But I wasn’t going to wait forever. And, yeah, I put my patients’ lives and my career and this hospital first. I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings.”
And Reid was out the door. Luke sighed harshly, looking off to the side.
Conclusion
Summary: Inspired by (some of the) spoilers. What happens after Bob issues his ultimatum.
Disclaimer: Alas.
Rating: NC-17
A/N: Title obviously an homage to fatherbananas's wonderful cartoon saga. I really wanted to fit Lucinja in here, but unfortunately couldn't quite make it work.
It took Luke almost an hour to finally realize why Noah’s last jab didn’t hurt him as much as he felt like it should.
It took Reid three rings to pick up the phone.
And it took just one brief conversation for Luke to get his heart broken that day after all.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. How’d things go with Bob? Sorry for just bailing on you but…Bob scares me a little, to be honest. It has to do with this time that Casey and I - ”
“It’s fine,” Reid interrupted tersely. It was beginning to scare Luke how easily he could read his moods.
“Doesn’t sound like it,” Luke said.
“What do you want, Luke?”
“I, ah,” Luke paused, steeling himself. “I thought we could finish that conversation we were having.”
Reid didn’t say anything for a beat. “I don’t think so.”
Luke squinted in confusion, then tried a different tactic. He responded, letting just the smallest amount of flirtation into his voice, “OK. We don’t have to talk.”
“Luke, I - I’m putting an end to this. We can’t do this anymore.”
Luke felt the blood drain out of his face. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that Bob made it very clear what the consequences of having a personal relationship with a major donor would be.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Reid said, and Luke was too upset to hear the other man’s voice break.
“So, uh. You’re just…I mean, that’s it? After everything, after - you’re just going to - ”
“There’s not much of a choice, is there Luke?” And the cold, arrogant, rude Reid Oliver was back. The only thing that kept Luke from losing it completely was that he now knew how much of a mask that was. “I told you before. All I am is a doctor. I’ve put too much money and time and effort into my career to throw it all away for a guy who can’t decide from one day to the next what he wants.”
But I know now, Luke couldn’t say out loud. Because he realized Reid was right. He had hesitated too long; he had taken Reid’s feelings for granted. All he could do now was respect Reid’s decision. It wouldn’t be fair to cause him any more pain.
“Fine,” Luke heard himself say. “I understand. Goodbye.”
And he hung up before either one of them could speak again.
**
Luke looked up in surprise as a person unexpectedly dropped into the seat across from him. Then he sighed in relief when he realized it was Casey.
“Hey,” he said, turning back to his coffee.
“Yeah, good to see you too,” Casey said sarcastically. “You’re right. It has been a while.”
Luke sighed and looked back up. “Sorry. How are you?”
“Just talked to Noah,” Casey said leadingly, avoiding the question. “Turns out I’m not your only ex.”
Luke didn’t say anything, not even rising to the joke of his and Casey’s past relationship.
“He’s OK, if you were curious,” Casey continued.
“Not really,” Luke responded. It lacked any sort of bitterness or regret, and Luke was actually proud of himself for that.
The door to Java opened, and Luke happened to glance up at just the right moment to see Reid walk in. They made eye contact, and Luke felt his whole body flush and his heart rate increase as a rushing sound filled his ears. It was the first time Luke had seen him since the day of the meeting and the punch and Bob’s threat. Since the day Reid had ended things between them.
In his head, Luke stood up abruptly and hurried over to Reid, knocking over his chair in his haste. He took Reid’s hands in his own and they stared at each other, explanations and apologies and understanding flashing in their eyes. They didn’t have to say a single word.
In reality, Luke couldn’t move. Reid held his gaze for one more half-second before turning away and walking up to the counter. Luke swallowed.
“Luke!”
Luke jumped in his seat, facing Casey again. Casey was staring back at him.
“Sorry. What?”
“So it’s true? What Noah said - you’re…with Dr. Oliver?”
“No,” Luke said. “I’m not.”
“Really? Kind of looks like it to me.”
Luke sighed.
“Hey, I’m not judging. There’s something to be said for older lovers.”
Luke turned to Casey, a quizzical expression on his face. “What?”
Casey paused. “We’re talking about you,” he said evasively.
Luke narrowed his eyes. Casey smiled nervously.
**
If there was one benefit from it all, Luke was actually being super-productive. He had thrown himself into his work with the foundation, and was putting several hours in at the shipping company every other day. About two weeks later, he was working at home, staring at spreadsheets and reports. His eyes were starting to bug out so he closed the program and rubbed his face briskly.
Sitting up straight again, he stared at his computer desktop. He had replaced the picture of him and Noah with one of Reid in scrubs. He had taken it secretly with his phone several weeks ago, when Reid was half-turned away from him and reading a patient file. The dedication and concentration on his face was incredibly sexy, and Luke could stare at this picture for hours.
Luke swallowed. It was time to give up, to let go. Reid didn’t want him, at least not enough. And he wasn’t going to do this to himself anymore. Luke leaned forward, clicking the mouse until the picture disappeared and a group shot of his siblings was there instead.
There was a knock on the door, and Luke looked up, startled. He walked to the door, and his surprise only grew.
“Noah!”
“Hi…Luke,” his ex-boyfriend said cautiously.
“Come in,” Luke said, stepping aside to let Noah enter. “What are you doing here?”
“I just - I came to say goodbye.”
Luke narrowed his eyes and shook his head imperceptibly. “I don’t understand.”
“I got into this summer film program. In New York. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Noah! That’s amazing!” Luke said sincerely. “Congratulations.”
Noah nodded, looking down at his hands. “Thanks. Anyway…”
They stared at each other, and Noah swallowed thickly. “Maybe when I get back, we can - ”
Luke felt his heart start to pound. “We can…?”
Noah shrugged. “Try to…fix us.”
Luke took a deep breath. For the longest time, this was the thing he had dreamed of, wished for. Noah wanting him back, wanting to make it work. And now…
“I don’t think so,” Luke said softly. “I think it’s well and truly over.”
“Why? Because of Dr. Oliver?” Noah asked sharply.
Luke shook his head. “No, Noah. We’re not - Because of me and you. I want to stay friends, Noah, I really do. But it’s time to end this. For good. It’s just not working anymore.”
“Fine,” Noah said shortly. “I’ll see you in a couple months.”
“Noah,” Luke said exasperatedly.
“No, you’re right,” Noah said, turning quickly and walking out the door.
**
Luke didn’t see Reid again for another week. And when he did, it was under pretty embarrassing and horrible circumstances.
“I’m fine,” Luke said, gritting his teeth.
“Humor me,” Holden replied.
Luke sighed, tilting his head back as he sat on the edge of the hospital bed and waited for the nurse. He and his dad had been out riding when his horse spooked and bucked. It wasn’t the first time Luke was thrown, and it wouldn’t be the last, and he was up on his feet in less than a minute. But Holden liked to worry about him.
The door opened abruptly, and both Snyders turned to look at the new arrival. Luke met Reid’s eyes almost immediately, and he wanted to believe he saw concern, even worry, underneath the professional distance.
“Mr. Snyder,” Reid said in that infuriating way he had, looking back at his file. “You have quite the medical history. You do seem to have a knack for ending up here, don’t you?”
Luke smiled. It was pure Reid, and he couldn’t have been happier. “I’m talented.”
“Mmm,” Reid replied noncommittally. He snapped the file folder shut. “Where does it hurt?”
Everywhere, Luke thought. “Nowhere,” he said. “I’m fine.”
“You were thrown from a horse.”
Luke shrugged. “Not the first time.”
“I’m going to get some coffee,” Holden interrupted, giving Luke a knowing look, as if maybe this had been his plan all along. “See you in a bit.”
Reid barely acknowledged Holden as he slipped out of the room. Then he turned back to Luke, stepping closer and pulling out a penlight.
“Did you hit your head?” he asked.
Luke flinched, trying to avoid the light. Reid raised a hand to Luke’s chin, holding him in place.
“Honestly, I’m fine. It’s just my dad being my dad.”
Reid sighed, turning off the light and putting it back in his pocket. “You can move everything. No stiffness?”
Luke pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows as he shook his head.
“OK,” Reid said, already dismissing Luke as he started to make a note in the file. “If you start to feel any pain later, be sure to get it checked out.”
Reid threw him a half-smile and turned away. He had made it to the door before Luke found his voice.
“Reid!”
Reid paused, sighing as his shoulders dropped and he turned to face Luke. “What?”
Luke’s mouth opened and closed. Then, almost against his will, he said, “You could have fought for me.”
Reid shifted, avoiding Luke’s eyes. “I don’t have time for this.”
“You could have said you wanted both,” Luke continued forcefully. “You have the upper hand here. You really think Bob would just let you walk away? You could get a job anywhere in a heartbeat and he knows it. You didn’t call his bluff. You didn’t even try. Because you were scared.”
“What?” Reid said, finally looking at Luke, anger and hurt in his eyes.
“It was finally getting real, and you didn’t want to deal with that. You were in control, you were the one driving things when it came to you and me, and then suddenly you weren’t. And that scared you.”
“That…is rich,” Reid said. “I have been nothing but - I was scared? I was scared? You were the one going back and forth. I made it clear what I wanted, that I had feelings for you. But I wasn’t going to wait forever. And, yeah, I put my patients’ lives and my career and this hospital first. I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings.”
And Reid was out the door. Luke sighed harshly, looking off to the side.
Conclusion