Fabrication (23/27)
Reid let himself into the apartment, prepared for another round of teasing from Katie in light of his unplanned night out. She glanced up when he walked inside and gave him a little wave. Then she briefly returned to the phone conversation she was having.
“I need to call you back, OK? Yep. Yep. Thanks for letting me know. Say hi to your mom.”
She hung up and smiled at Reid; Reid pretended not to notice the look on her face. He walked through the living room directly to the kitchen. He continued to ignore her as he pulled open the refrigerator door and stared inside.
“Hello,” Katie said. Reid grunted in reply.
“How was your day?” she asked cheerfully. Reid didn’t bother giving any sort of response.
“My day was good,” Katie continued as if she hadn’t noticed. “I went to work, of course, but I snuck out early so Jacob and I could go to the park to feed ducks.”
“Mmm,” Reid said, finally deciding against everything in the fridge, much to Katie’s surprise. Reid faced her, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a folded check. “Before I forget, here. I think that should cover rent and stuff.”
Katie waved her hand. “I told you that you didn’t need to pay rent.”
Reid shook the paper at her in annoyance. “Then use it for utilities or put it in an account for Jacob or something.”
Katie sighed and took the check, unfolding it. She coughed in surprise. “How much do you think rent in Oakdale is?!”
Reid didn’t answer. He started walking away, muttering about needing a shower. Katie quickly turned around on the couch, not taking her eyes off him. “Why are you giving me this now, anyway?” she asked suspiciously.
“I’m leaving soon. I’ll probably be out of here by next week.”
Katie didn’t say anything for a moment. “Oh,” she finally said, barely audible.
Reid rolled his eyes even as he smiled at her. “Come on, now. Surely you were expecting it.”
“Yeah, I guess. I just didn’t think it’d be so - ”
Reid stepped closer. He bent down and kissed her forehead. “You’ve still got my beeper number, don't forget. I gotta take a shower.”
Katie stared after him sadly as he disappeared down the hall. She sighed, but as soon as she heard the water running, she snapped out of her depressed funk.
“You are not leaving. Not if I have anything to say about it, Reid Oliver,” she vowed as she picked up her cell phone again. She dialed the person she had been talking to earlier and waited for the answer. When it came, she began talking without even a hello. “It’s me; I can talk now. It’s worse than we thought. Time to bring out the big guns…What do you mean, who? Your grandfather, of course.”
**
“Hey Dad,” Luke greeted Holden as he walked into the barn.
Holden turned away from the horse he was grooming and glanced at Luke. His son looked absolutely exhausted and distraught, but Holden gave no outward indication that he noticed. He merely focused on the horse again and waited for Luke to bring up whatever was on his mind. Lily had surreptitiously pointed out the fading hickey, and he had seen Luke at the hospital himself, so Holden had a pretty good idea what it was about, anyway. Although he was still kind of hoping he was imagining things.
“Need any help?” Luke asked.
“Ah, Bubblegum here’s the last one. Your timing is impeccable, as usual.”
Luke sat down on a nearby bale of hay, smiling softly. He leaned back against the wooden frame of the stable and watched Holden work.
“Natalie’s not allowed to name the next horse, OK?”
Holden snorted. “What’s wrong with Bubblegum?” he asked sarcastically.
Luke was silent for several beats. He stared at his hands. “Dad?” he finally, softly asked.
“Mmm?” Holden murmured, feeling vaguely like Luke was a skittish horse he was trying not to spook.
“What does it feel like to be in love?” Luke asked quickly, the words running together as they fell out of his mouth. Holden looked at Luke; Luke’s eyes were wide, and he kind of looked like he was going to puke. Luke took a breath. “I mean…I mean, hypothetically.”
Holden hesitated. He led Bubblegum back into her stall, then walked away from Luke a few steps. He grabbed his water bottle from a small table, which he leaned against as he unscrewed the cap. He watched Luke for another few seconds, but Luke never once looked up at him.
“I don’t know if I’m the best person to answer that,” Holden said, smiling self-deprecatingly. “My track record’s not the greatest.”
Luke’s agreeing laughter was strained. He finally made eye contact with Holden, and Holden was surprised by the roiling emotion in Luke’s eyes.
“It’s probably different for everyone, Luke. I’m not trying to be difficult here; I just think it depends on the personalities of the people involved, and the circumstances, and what both people are willing to put up with. What their priorities and needs and - and dreams for the future are, and whether they mesh.”
Luke nodded slowly.
“Love isn’t about poetry and fireworks and butterflies in the stomach and passion. I mean, it is. But not just that,” Holden continued. “Because when that infatuation fades and the heat wears off - whether it’s the heat of fighting or…sex…or, you know, whatever - and trust me, it will wear off, well then, things start to settle. You find yourself living a day-to-day life with the person and all their little, annoying idiosyncrasies. You’re raising a family, maybe, and there are bills to pay and trash to take out and grocery lists to make. People make these promises and grand statements about wanting to live the rest of their lives with someone, talking about it like it’s some future event instead of what they’re already doing. But I think that’s the key: it has to be someone you can picture yourself with, old and gray and sitting next to you on the porch, after decades of stupid fights and hurting each other and loss and making up and laughter and weekends away and sex on the kitchen floor. If you can picture that, and think it sounds like the only life you’d ever want, then I think you’re in love. Hypothetically speaking, of course.”
Luke pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them in a hug. “Is that how it was with you and Mom?”
Holden walked closer and sat on the bale next to Luke. “Your mother and I have a complicated relationship.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” Luke muttered under his breath. Holden smiled.
“And I have no doubt that we’re going to be intricately involved with each other until we are old and gray, if for no other reason than you kids. Whether we’re together or just friends, and how many times we switch back and forth between now and then, remains to be seen.”
Holden then risked a glance at Luke. “Why do you ask?”
The blush started on Luke’s chest and soon engulfed his entire face.
“Just…a conversation I had with Casey,” Luke evaded.
“A hypothetical one?”
“Yeah.”
Holden picked at a spot of dirt on the knee of his jeans. He was about to fish further, when Luke began speaking again.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I always want to help you, if I can. You know that.”
“No, I know. I just, I imagine it can’t be that easy for you to…to think about me in love or in a relationship or something. Especially with a man.”
“I want you to be happy. Obviously, it was a transition, but that’s long past us.”
Luke nodded. “It’s just you kept saying things like ‘the person you want to be with’ and stuff, instead of ‘the woman.’ And it just came naturally. That means a lot to me.”
Holden put his arm around Luke’s shoulders, rubbing the far one with his palm. Luke closed his eyes, enjoying the brief moment of affection. That enjoyment ended almost immediately with Holden’s next sentence.
“That speech wasn’t entirely unforced. I had to edit myself sometimes.”
Luke opened his eyes, but he didn’t say anything.
“I wanted to warn you, for example, that it's harder for couples with large age differences, because they don't always look at things the same way. And I imagine some of the fights might be about schedules or missed holidays or something. It can’t be easy living with a surgeon. All of this is hypothetical, of course.”
“Of course,” Luke whispered, surprised at how little panic or shock he actually felt.
When Luke didn’t say anything more, Holden simply nodded, his suspicions confirmed. He inhaled slowly, feeling the overprotective father side of him rising to the surface. “Luke, I have to know. Don’t lie, OK? When he was here before, did he - ?”
“No, Dad,” Luke interrupted. “No.” Then he laughed once, quickly. “Not for lack of trying on my part, but he was more than honorable back then.”
“And now? What’s going on between you now?”
Luke took a deep, shuddering breath. “I think I love him,” he admitted, unable to stop his voice from breaking. “I know I do. I can see us, gray-haired on the porch and probably still sniping sarcastically at each other. But he doesn’t feel the same way, and he’s going to leave me.”
Luke squeezed his eyes shut and bent his head forward until his forehead touched his knees. Holden’s arm around him tightened. Neither Snyder man spoke again for a long time.
**
Neither Luke nor Reid mentioned anything, but it was like they both clearly knew something had changed after that last morning together at Luke’s. There were no hints dropped that resulted in “unplanned” meetings at Java or Al’s. There were no more passionate nights in each other’s arms. Luke’s visits were carefully timed around Reid’s check-ups on Noah so they never actually crossed paths. Reid shut down every attempt by Katie to talk about Luke or his plans to leave town; Katie being Katie never stopped trying, and he began to work much longer hours as he wrapped things up at Memorial, in an effort to avoid her.
On Monday, Luke and Reid accidentally ran into each other in Old Town and had four minutes of awkward conversation before Reid’s beeper thankfully went off.
On Wednesday, the Hughes kid came over to babysit Jacob in the afternoon. Reid had been trying to work from home, but after about five minutes of pointed silence and knowing looks, Reid slammed his book shut and left the apartment.
On Thursday, he met with Alex Roberts to discuss all the patients under his care and start the process of transferring that care to Roberts and his staff.
On Friday, Reid encountered a rather distracted Luke as he roamed the hospital corridors. He found out later (from sneaking a peek at the records) that Ethan had broken his arm in a stupid Snyder-spawn accident. Reid was bringing things down to his car. When he saw Luke, he was only a few feet from his office, an empty box loosely dangling from his hand as he headed back for another load.
Luke met his eyes and then looked down at the box. Reid had stopped walking, and Luke swallowed. He focused on Reid’s eyes again, and the next thing Reid knew they were in his office. Mere minutes after that, he held Luke against the door. One of Luke’s legs was wrapped high around Reid’s hip, and the other leg barely touched the ground. Instead, Reid was supporting most of Luke’s weight. Their pants were pushed down, and Reid was inside Luke, thrusting into him unceasingly. Neither man made a sound - not a gasp or a groan or a moan and certainly not anything resembling words. They simply kissed silently, a little bit desperately. Luke’s hands were in Reid’s hair, and Reid’s hands were grasping Luke’s hips. They came at nearly the same time, breathing harshly into each other’s mouths. Reid continued to thrust through their climaxes and as they came down, struggling to make the pleasure last as long as possible.
But eventually, the battle was lost, and Reid slipped out of Luke. Luke stood quietly for a beat, then straightened his clothes and left without a word and barely without a glance at Reid. Reid watched him leave and then he exhaled sharply, feeling angry at himself and Luke for the moment of weakness so he didn’t have to feel anything else. Reid sighed. He turned away from the door, and he continued packing.
Continued
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