so lately i have been reading some public post and i am so sick of seeing how good people write and then reading what i have to say i suck

and yesterday i was at Jordan Noonans and i was trying to draw and relized that was a joke too

i wish i was good at something other that
1.doing drugs
2. making my self feel like shit
3. being chilaxed ( away from ( Read more... )

well so the last couple days i have been trying to get on here and update but i have been doing shit or there is someone around.

so the last couple days sucked!!!

1. Fought w/ dale
2. Almost killed a mother fucker
3. Got 2 driving tickets

so therefore i like hate everything...

today i tried to quit smoking and it didnt work and i smoked...
 i hate it and ( Read more... )

so i am realizing in the last couple hours that i cant pretend as well as i thought i could. this is nuts three post in one day and i havent posted in like a year and now all of a sudden i feel its my only way to stay with my life. i am happy and i try to always be happy. but i am kidding myself time and time again. i am with the people i love so ( Read more... )

so yes  i know i just updated but i have realized something
i analyze everything to much and i hate this
THANKS TO STEVEN BERNETT
i hate you
i hate the things you did and still do to me.
so now i am crying and am going to have a terrible night.
i eat myself up about everything and every mistake i make
i cant let go
i cant deal with my life.

so much has happened that i dont know where to begin not that anyone really reads or uses these anymore.

i fell that i have to start using this again because i am feeling really lost all over again.
i just can handle everything anymore i feel that i don't have control of anything.
when school starts i feel that its only going to get worse. i have been ( Read more... )

SORRY FOR THE LANGUAGE USED ( Read more... )

this is from yesterday...... why does everything have to be so hard..... why do things always pile up? why do i have to feel this way why did she have to die..... today???? why cant my dad just be ok? why cant my life be ok? why do i always want to do the things i do? why did my mom have to leave.... why do i always act so strong when im breaking ( Read more... )

ok sections again ( Read more... )

i think that i made the mistake of my life i regret comming back to Florida..... i wish i would have stayed in Michigan i can Never get my dad back...... i dont know what i was thinking.... i just want to go back...... i dont care if im not happy.... im never happy my fucking dad is dying and im just here alone..... i dont have anyone.... NO one ( Read more... )

ok i dont even know what to say to express my feelings tward everything.....i dont know