Howl to the Heavens

Sep 08, 2013 02:01

Title: Howl to the Heavens
Fandoms: Doctor Who, Supernatural
Rating: G
Characters/pairings: Castiel, Bad Wolf
Warnings (including spoilers): Spoilery for Supernatural's season 6 finale and most of season 7, also for Doctor Who season 1 finale.
Wordcount: 866 words
Author's note: So I swore to myself I wouldn't start writing for Supernatural, because I really need to buckle down and focus on courses, but then this bunny came up, and... I guess I write for Supernatural now. But it's a crossover, so maybe I'm still sort of safe? *crosses fingers hopelessly*
Author's note 2: So this was meant to be a justification for the resurrection of Gabriel, at some point in the timeline which we haven't seen yet, of course, and then I was like 'but how about Balthazar and Rachel and Benny even Ellen and Jo and everyone else I like who got killed off you bastard SPN writers.' So yeah. Just imagine that later. *totally a fix-it*
Summary: Two servants of the Plan are the only ones who can understand each other.

[*]

The change within Him was unbelievable. The energy of the souls contained within Castiel's vessel was like a supernova of Grace, and every other spark of life and power became like ants in his path. The ability to demolish cities and tear down mountains with a thought was heady, but Castiel was not a cruel God. He could see every second of time from the moment His Father created the universe, right up until it all ended, and everything was within His power.

Castiel performed acts of goodness and mercy upon the deserving, the faithful, and He wielded His sword against those who caused misery or perverted His word for their own ends. The angels fell into line, or they were destroyed. Their new Lord would not allow His own fellows- His own children- to disobey His orders, not when they couldn't possibly understand His motives.

For the universe was far bigger than Castiel had imagined before He became God; it reached further into the darkness than the angels dreamed. Although they were aware of the other planets besides Earth, they were ignorant of the immense reach of their Father's creation. Earth was the beginning, the blessed, and that was why God had loved it most, but He left to create more worlds modeled after Earth, and He trusted Castiel to maintain it.

Even with Castiel's new powers, His Father was so far away that He was beyond Castiel's reach, and no one could understand the responsibility He held. No one, until the Wolf.

She had always been there, of course, but she did not appear to Him until a time when He sat atop Kilimanjaro, pondering why His friends had tried to have Him reaped by Death. He was at once sitting on a cold, ice-covered boulder and everywhere in the immediate galaxy, and so was she.

"I know," the Wolf introduced herself sympathetically. "They can't just take your word for it."

"I have trusted them with every precious thing I have ever known," Castiel told her, "and now I ask them to trust me, and they refuse. I ask them to love me, as I have loved them, and they refuse. I have made the Earth safer, more honest," Castiel insisted. "I destroyed angels who had ignored Our Father's messages of love and peace. Why can't they see that?"

"They can't understand." The golden light of the Wolf, different in composition but not in strength from that which flowed through Castiel's being, swirled around Him and squeezed. "You and I, we see all of Time and Space. We see the fabric of reality, the Plan. It's up to us to make it happen."

"How do you do it?" Castiel begged, turning to the Wolf.

Her blonde hair thrashed in the unfelt icy winds, her eyes glowing. "You will have to do unspeakable things to fulfill your role, and when you return to your mortal form, you will not understand why."

"But... I am acting with righteousness!" Castiel protested.

"You will see your own actions as mass murder, as cruelty, as hubris, just like they do." The Wolf spoke with gentleness and compassion. "I will be able to forget my deeds when I return to my life, for a time. As an angel of the Lord, you will not have that advantage."

For the first time in weeks, Castiel felt the cold, and He shivered.

"I... I will hate myself."

The Wolf sighed. "I am everywhere and can see everything. I committed genocide, saving uncountable lives. I condemned my friend to a terrible fate, but it made the universe a better place millions of times over. Later, I lived with myself by remembering the truly good deeds I performed."

"What good deeds could balance out the guilt?"

"My friends who I hurt, I led them to good friends, loyal and true. I protected innocents, nourished peaceful communities. For every evil being I struck down in righteousness I raised up a good one in penance."

Castiel pondered. "I have killed many angels and humans. I have hurt the people I loved. I know it is necessary, but even now, I feel... sadness."

"Everything you have done has been in the present time," the Wolf told him. "You have travelled in time, but you are not used to it. Go back in time, go forwards. Make up for the destruction that this moment required with love and freedom in others."

"But why must I feel guilt? Everything I have done will lead to peace, every death I have caused will encourage harmony, every person I have hurt will heal and be better for it. Why must I hate myself for following my Father's plan?"

The Wolf tossed her head, shivering with Castiel's emotions. "Because rightness comes from the Lord, but righteousness comes from the heart." Her claws dug into the rock upon which they sat. "We know that what we are doing is right because we are close to Him now. But later, when we return to our mortal selves, our hearts will recoil from the necessity of our actions. God is loving, but His methods are not always gentle."

She stood, hair whipping about her like wings. "Take comfort in performing acts of good. They, too, will be necessary in God's plan."

She left.

Castiel acted.

category: non-challenge fic, fandom: supernatural, category: fic, category: crossover, size: one-shot, fandom: doctor who

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