Comments | means2bhuman: Part One--Sweet Six Six Six

means2bhuman

Part One--Sweet Six Six Six

Jun 12, 2011 01:35

Title: Part One--Sweet Six Six Six
Characters: Sylar/Gabriel Gray and Peter Petrelli
Rating: Probably NC-17 for implications.
Warnings: Slash, semi-dub-con, serious angst, depressing thoughts. Future blood warnings. Those with anal squicks should turn away. Possible rape triggers. THIS IS DARK!FIC.
Words: 331
Setting: The Wall, S4

A/N: This has been ( Read more... )

nc-17, shorts, song fic, mbu-inspired, heroes, dark!fic, fic, sylar, non-canon, stand alones, peter

Comments 12

(The comment has been removed)

means2bhuman June 13 2011, 01:00:57 UTC

Why thank you. I'm kind of relieved it was IC I guess because I was a little self-conscious in posting this. I write lots of things I don't post, but this I needed to get off my chest. So that kind of validated it for me, thank you!
"finally touching the place that slammed his eyes shut," I think this was the line that really brought the horror of the situation for me the most. I liked the way you showed, but didn't tell, if that makes sense.--Makes total sense. You know, I didn't do the 'subtle not-telling' on purpose, it actually just happened which is really super odd for the detail-oriented person. Subconsciously I knew that details and body parts would be overkill, so I'm glad you like it.
Thank you very much! Glad you read it. Stick around for the next two respectively slightly longer and very short chapters.
(I need to go comment on your latest HtSAL)

asmodesgold June 12 2011, 13:47:12 UTC

I apologize for my comment earlier. I was completely out of it and apparently every time I saw 'Peter' I read 'Sylar' and vice versa. Now I can totally see this happening.

means2bhuman June 13 2011, 00:42:23 UTC

Ah, that's okay. I was just confused. Thanks for reading.

game_byrd June 12 2011, 14:50:50 UTC

After reading the warnings, I was seriously hesitant and reading, but this is okay. Or rather, this isn't the sort of thing that sets me off.

I'm with Jaimie that you packed a lot of emotional punch into so few words. It's hard for me to imagine that people don't go into sex feeling somewhat that way, so I have a lot of empathy in Sylar's situation here. Not to that extent, but yeah, that's very emotionally provocative.

Poor Peter. He might not know what he's getting into here. There's a lot to heal.

means2bhuman June 13 2011, 00:47:47 UTC

I double, triple checked the warnings just for you because I did kind of want you to read it if you could, so I'm glad you did (and very glad it didn't set you off!)
You know...I tried to do a 100 word drabble like you do, but...this one expanded on me, but I like what came out, for the most part. This is the sickest thing I've ever written by myself, so I was a little worried to post it (my first post to this journal, too, yikes!)
I agree with you-- its hard to think of it (sex) otherwise.
This was from our talk, if you don't mind my pointing out, when you said (off of something that *I* said, which I don't recall) 'I can see the boys having sex without being 'okay' with each other, etc' and...This is what I had in mind for MBU and I knew and know that it won't can't work. I'm getting it out of my system this way so MBU can be what we need it to be.
(I feared the Peter-OOC-monster here, at least in the second part, but it obviously passed muster)
Thanks for commenting.

game_byrd June 13 2011, 01:44:34 UTC

Those 100 word drabbles are tough all right! It's my understanding that "drabble" was originally limited to mean only a 100 word story, but that the meaning has drifted to be anything really short ( ... )

means2bhuman June 13 2011, 01:54:22 UTC

Oh my god...I thought you meant POSITIVE feelings for it! Damnit, now I feel bad. Good thing I'm not posting it, then. Crap, crap, crap.

I am incapable (at least at this point in time) to write anything 'short' like 100-200 words. This IS short to me!

I'm more than willing to run however you want for it in MBU when the time comes. I'm pleasantly surprised you'd consider it.

Hmm, that's a good point about 'how far it goes' or 'how well Sylar hides it'-- I'd intended it to be your second 'check-in' option, but the other one works, even if its not what I had in mind. (Overall, Sylar's muscles/body actually relaxes as a whole and he sort-of-kind-of forces himself to accept it once he's at a place where he can understand or justify...well, relaxing).

Thread 6

vivihanna June 19 2011, 04:35:21 UTC

Nice drabble! I agree with the others about putting so much emotion into so few words. You did a fabulous job. :)

I also noticed you're pretty new, so welcome to Livejournal! :D

means2bhuman July 6 2011, 01:24:10 UTC

Thank you and thank you! I appreciate that you read it and commented. (Sorry for my delayed reply. I'm usually much better!)

dancingdragon3 July 17 2011, 01:11:56 UTC

Oh my. I can't tell yet where this is going but Im strapping on my seat belt. I love the tone - quiet, thoughtful, agonized. The characterization is perfect. I actually feel bad for Peter. he has no idea the pain he is causing.

Love this - "Sylar bit his lip white, but didn’t move, the entire time his mind was screaming at him to do just that- I don’t like this! I don’t want you there! I don’t like this! I don’t want you there!"

And the end, where he finally relaxes and his thought are just so wonderfully depressing.