Comments | means2bhuman: Counting Bodies Like Sheep

means2bhuman

Counting Bodies Like Sheep

May 19, 2012 00:35

Title: Counting Bodies Like Sheep

Characters: Sylar, Gabriel Gray, Virginia Gray.

Rating: PG-13/NC-17

Warnings: Implied matricide. Dark, homicidal thoughts, mentions of murder, past domestic abuse, blood. Some light violence, language.

Word count: 3,761

Setting: S1, The Hard Part

Summary: A dream sequence Sylar has inside the Wall, seeing himself as ( Read more... )

virginia, song fic, heroes, fic, sylar, gabriel, music, heroes_contest

Comments 6

game_byrd May 19 2012, 15:16:38 UTC

When I read the title block for this fic, I settled in for an emotional ride and you did not disappoint! That was moving and riveting start to finish, completely absorbing me all the way through as new facets, small and glimmering, kept being revealed of the Sylar/Gabriel duality, his attitudes and relationship with his mother, and his feelings about power and destiny.

The song! OMG! It fits perfectly! You do song-fics so well, really digging into the emotional tone the song brings and then translating that into words and feelings of the characters.

(BRB, chicken accident to take care of. Hen and chicks in trouble)

means2bhuman May 20 2012, 06:44:11 UTC

Oh, wow. Just reading your opening sentence clued me in: Counting Bodies Like Sheep. I'm so slow (like, three years too slow), I never understood what the title meant! Counting bodies instead of sheep TO SLEEP! It really is a nightmare sequence! Wow, talk about ironic songs I pick without knowing the whole story - Big Girls Don't Cry's music video had Milo in it. I'd always thought this one just meant there's so many bodies, you have to count them like a flock of sheep to keep track of them which is...dumb ( ... )

game_byrd May 20 2012, 13:15:14 UTC

You do awesome taking one idea and exploring all the different ways that one idea affects one character. You do a great job with that! I can't think of a fic though where you had a character go from starting point A to ending point B and change along the way. You probably have them and I'm just not thinking of them right now. People's fics tend to blend together in my head as to who wrote what and so on.

I don't always get the full meaning of a song at first either, so don't feel bad about that. I liked the way you described the jarring background noise in the song and made it personal to Gabriel. That was cool.

game_byrd May 19 2012, 16:13:21 UTC

(Hen and chicks are now fine.)

You did a wonderful job of illustrating Gabriel's tortured internal world. He really desperately needs someone to relate to him, to know him, and to care for him. I don't mean necessarily fall in love, though that's always nice, but he needs someone to be his friend so their voice can drown out, or at least compete with Sylar's. So that it isn't true that no one else gives a fuck.

I liked the nightmarish aspect of the skewed perspective from the floor, and the people moving around him like he didn't exist, events from the show playing out with him there as an invisible spectator, as powerless as anyone else watching the show. You conveyed that feeling of being trapped very well!

This would fit in MBU beautifully, and is awesome as a stand-alone as well.

means2bhuman May 20 2012, 07:00:51 UTC

Glad the chickies are okay :) You always make me laugh with your little RL inserts in comments! I at first thought "chicken accident" meant in the kitchen - oops ( ... )

game_byrd May 20 2012, 13:25:08 UTC

Holding him on the floor makes perfect sense. The ceiling is another good one, though the potential for spit-dribble grosses me out a bit. The floor was better. For one thing, imagining them stepping around/over him was part of the freaky factor ( ... )