Things that feel good are good for me even if they don't make me "happy" but only relaxed and contented.
Yes, yes, YES!!!! That's a wonderful discovery and I'm so delighted for you that you've made it.
no, I wasn't making an accusation, I was just trying to describe the situation. Maybe I need to pay attention, take a couple of deep breaths, and take the time to choose my words more carefully.
Such situations may be good opportunities to follow "the script" that I'm learning - but not yet applying consistently - from my therapist. The script is very simple. It goes like this: [1] When you (describe behavior, as though writing stage directions for a play) [2] I feel (name a feeling. basic feelings are mad, glad, sad, and/or scared. Anything else is not a feeling, it's an idea or a judgment.) [3] What I want instead is (describe *preferred* behavior, in active** terms)
"Active", in this context, means that it passes the "dead monkey" test: if what you're describing is something that a dead monkey could do, then it's not active
( ... )
I still haven't managed to get the email off asking about the other stuff, you mentioned in my posting a while back. I hope you don't mind if I use this myself? Your T sounds right on track.
I am so proud to hear you growing and learning about your feelings! I am also very happy for you, that you are realizing it is ok to be in the place you are at,wherever that place may be, and are willing to keep learning and knowing yourself. **HUGS**
I can guarantee lots of HUGS when we see each other in person...I am a Hug Dealer ya' know. *Winkz*
You made quite a wonderful and enlightening discovery for yourself today. You also realize that while words can hurt, they can also heal, and they are powerful things. I think that I too need to learn to take that breath, and think about what words to use, before opening my mouth...because I tend to speak from the brain/heart without connecting the two, which can be a very dangerous two edged sword, if one does not do so cautiously.
Be proud of your progress. You are allowed to be, in case no one has mentioned that!
Comments 5
Yes, yes, YES!!!! That's a wonderful discovery and I'm so delighted for you that you've made it.
no, I wasn't making an accusation, I was just trying to describe the situation. Maybe I need to pay attention, take a couple of deep breaths, and take the time to choose my words more carefully.
Such situations may be good opportunities to follow "the script" that I'm learning - but not yet applying consistently - from my therapist. The script is very simple. It goes like this:
[1] When you (describe behavior, as though writing stage directions for a play)
[2] I feel (name a feeling. basic feelings are mad, glad, sad, and/or scared. Anything else is not a feeling, it's an idea or a judgment.)
[3] What I want instead is (describe *preferred* behavior, in active** terms)
"Active", in this context, means that it passes the "dead monkey" test: if what you're describing is something that a dead monkey could do, then it's not active ( ... )
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I still haven't managed to get the email off asking about the other stuff, you mentioned in my posting a while back. I hope you don't mind if I use this myself? Your T sounds right on track.
I know Mdlbear was interested as well...
Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Shadowe
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I can guarantee lots of HUGS when we see each other in person...I am a Hug Dealer ya' know. *Winkz*
You made quite a wonderful and enlightening discovery for yourself today. You also realize that while words can hurt, they can also heal, and they are powerful things. I think that I too need to learn to take that breath, and think about what words to use, before opening my mouth...because I tend to speak from the brain/heart without connecting the two, which can be a very dangerous two edged sword, if one does not do so cautiously.
Be proud of your progress. You are allowed to be, in case no one has mentioned that!
Love, Hugs and Blessings,
Shadowe
Reply
I'm told that Bear Hugs are pretty good, too. ;)
I realized, maybe half a year ago, that this was going to be a long process. I'm finally coming to accept that, and take the improvement as it comes.
I'm glad this helped you; that's one of the reasons I post these things.
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