Challenge Fic: The Last Word (or When You See With My Eyes) (G)

[neevebrody]

Written for the #26 Challenge - Last

Title: The Last Word (or when you see with my eyes)
Author: neevebrody
Characters: John, Rodney, Jennifer
Rating: G
Words: ~3,500
Spoilers: Possible spoilers for Last Man
Beta: velocitygrass beta'd this even though she doesn't usually read this type of fic. Your thoughts and approval really meant a lot to me, hon, thank you so

Comments

[chandri]

...oh. I just... oh. *sniff*

[neevebrody]

Aw, *hands you tissues* Thanks so much for reading, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[tzzzz]

That was beautifully written and heartbreaking. Thanks for sharing.

[neevebrody]

Thank you so much. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!

[mrshamill]

How is this page not filled with comments? This is probably the most heartrending, brilliantly executed and TRUE piece of writing I've seen in ages. It's absolutely perfect. I guessed about a quarter of the way into it where you were heading, but you took me there with such grace and subtlety that I didn't care, even though I knew I was heading for tears, I didn't care.

This was incredible. Thank you.

[neevebrody]

God, you have me blushing madly. Thank you so very much for your kind comments. I feel my warning may have scared a few people away, but felt I needed to be honest, especially now when so much is going on in the fandom. I'm very glad you enjoyed this story. I wanted to write a complex relationship piece with real emotions and I'm very flattered that you feel I succeeded. Thank you again.

[eotu]

This is beautiful. Achingly sad, and exquisitely beautiful. You render the pain of might-have-been so well, for all three characters.

In addition, it's damned fine science fiction. Do you know how hard it is to get true human feeling and science into the same story? Well, you did it! If I saw this published in one of the magazines, I'd nominate it for a Hugo.

This story will haunt me for days, in the best possible way.

[neevebrody]

Thank you so much for your lovely comments. I love it when a fic haunts me and that's what I set out to do here. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

But, I can't take much credit for the science fiction. As I said in my notes, the story is based on the movie The Final Cut, which was brilliantly written and directed by Omar Naim. If you've never seen the film, I would recommend it. It, too, is haunting. I futzed around with the name of the chip and such, but the concept - a memory chip implant and the "showings" (or retelling/revamping) "cutting" of a person's life is all Mr. Naim's.

[em_kellesvig]

I don't know what to say to this. The humanity is beautifully flawed, beautifully real, and the science is so possible and creepy. This is like the best of Heinlein's short stories.

I can see this playing out this way: John being so selfish in his selflessness, Rodney settling for second best, and Jennifer living the dream until reality finally intrudes. How sad and how very human.

[neevebrody]

It is, if you will, a very "human condition" type story, which as you've pointed out, is canonically accurate. John is long suffering and maybe he's waiting on... something - and in the meantime, Jennifer is smitten and uses that against a relationally immature Rodney, whose enthralled with a wonderful woman like Keller being interested in him. People make the wrong decisions and there's always consequences. Some people say screw the consequences and some, like Rodney, would always do the "right" thing.

And thank you for the compliment on the science, but as I said in my notes - the basic concept here is based on The Final Cut, a film written and directed by Omar Naim. If you've never seen it, I would recommend it. Robin Williams is fabulous and creepy as the Cutter and the whole "cultural" thing is done so well in the film.

Again, thanks for your comments and I'm very glad you enjoyed the story.