TEAM SPACE: act of god, "Cast Not A Stone, But A Boulder"
Title: Cast Not A Stone, But A Boulder
Author: reddwarfer
Team: Space
Prompt: act of god
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Word count: 6,900
Warnings: Goes AU near the end of Tao of Rodney
Summary: “And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” (Libba Bray)
Author’s Notes: Takes a few lines directly from Tao of Rodney. Thanks muchly to my beta-readers.
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"You love me? Really? All of you?" Rodney asked, feeling a bit desperate.
In the most awkward way Rodney'd ever seen, John replied, "In a way a friend feels about another friend."
Rodney kindly didn't challenge him on it. "You’re just saying that because I’m gonna die...Oh, God. I can’t believe I’m gonna die." It sucked and he didn't have enough time to do all that he'd wanted to do. He was going to die and he'd never be able to save John's ass again or be smarter than everyone ever again.
Obviously trying to forestall his panic, John said, "All right...just back to the blue skies. Let your thoughts go. Concentrate on your breathing."
And he did.
***
Even the device that got Rodney to this point couldn't have prepared him for this sudden certainty of knowing. It filled his senses, pasts and futures overlapping until they blurred together into a black field of emptiness. He was everywhere, everywhen, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to where he was. He saw how to fix himself, how to save himself and go right back to his friends and family... and he would, but he could make it better. While he had the opportunity. Just one tiny adjustment, barely one millimeter in another direction. The tiniest turn left.
Just one little change, and he could erase the untimely deaths of millions.
***
"Rodney," John mumbled into his pillow when he felt the bed shift beneath him. "Whatimizzit?"
"Too damned early," Rodney grumped, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. The coffee maker started burbling, as Rodney'd somehow finagled it to work on Ancestor tech, which meant it started working when Rodney wished. "I need to get ready for a day of meetings."
"Better you than me," John agreed, snuggling back into the bed, hoping to catch a few more hours before the round of morning meetings. Meetings were the part of being the ranking military officer he liked least. That and riding herd over extremely bored Marines.
Rodney snorted as he poured himself a cup. "Keep that attitude up and I'll put you in charge of the expedition instead of me and duel Zelenka for head of the science department."
"The only reason why you'd have to duel him is because you made that ridiculous rule in the first place," John said, fairly. If you want to protest Dr McKay's hiring decisions, you must challenge the department head in question to a duel to the death. John was pretty sure Rodney was joking, but no one had tried to call his bluff, either.
Rodney had only waited until the wormhole from Earth had winked out before he decided that he preferred his way best and tossed out any rules and guidelines for leading the expedition that he didn't feel like following. Despite some grumblings and a few mutinous-looking scientists, Rodney's way worked far better than John expected.
"On the bright side, it stopped the deluge of whiny emails from all those morons who think they know better than I do about anything, which they don't." Rodney only paused in his rant to take a sip of coffee. "Anyhow, there's no rest for the excessively brilliant. See you at nine."
Once John was sure Rodney was actually gone, and not going to come back crashing into the room looking for some forgotten item in the loudest way possible, he went back to sleep.
***
John only felt marginally more alive when he stumbled into Rodney's office for the nine am meeting. He had four cups of coffee-two handles in each hand-and Rodney promptly stole three from him as soon as he walked through the door.
"You're late," Rodney said, even though he was precisely on time. It was the coffee fix that was late, but John figured if Rodney wanted it bad enough, he could get it himself.
A minute later, Radek, Carson, Teyla, and David walked through the door and arranged themselves around the table.
"Where's Ronon?" Rodney asked, eyes trained on Radek. "He's supposed to be at this meeting, too."
"You know how he is with his simulations," Radek said, tired. There were circles under his eyes, as if he had spent another night in the lab. The scientists Rodney trusted with mission sensitive imperatives always tended to be sleep deprived, given there were only two of them.
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, hasn't anyone ever told him a watched simulation never computes?"
"You're the one who put him in charge of the database and Ancestor tech," Radek countered, and John raised a hand because if he let them, they'd be bickering about stupid things for hours.
"Do you want me to get him?" John asked.
Rodney gave Radek a wicked glare before turning to John. "Yeah, sure."
Ronon was where he usually was most mornings, poking at the computer simulations for the terraforming dispersal unit they were trying to build with the incomplete blueprints the Ancestors left behind. It was not going so well. "Hey buddy," John said, poking a muscled arm. "Meeting time."
"Already?" Ronon asked, not taking his eyes off the data. "McKay won't miss me if I'm late."
"I hate to break it to you," John said, laughing, "but he sent me to fetch you."
At that, Ronon finally looked over at him. "Shit."
"Concise and accurate," John said, patting Ronon on the shoulder. "That's what I like best about you."
When they walked into the meeting room, Rodney greeted them with an exaggerated glance at his nonexistent watch. "Any later, I'd have declared you dead."
"Works for me," Ronon replied, with a grin. Rodney gave him a scathing look, but didn't comment, which was tantamount to forgiveness. Ronon could get away with just about anything with Rodney, because he was one of the few people whose intelligence Rodney respected.
"Now that we are now fifteen minutes late, can we please get on with this meeting? Or it'll cause a domino effect of lateness and I won't be in bed in time to have sex before John passes out."
John sighed into his now cold coffee and tried to ignore the smirks leveled in his direction. Not having to hide their relationship was nice, but sometimes he wished Rodney understood the meaning of the word discretion.
"Where were we," Rodney said, fiddling with his tablet and oblivious to John's embarrassment. "Oh, yes. I'm guessing we're just as far on the dispersal unit as we were last week: nowhere. So, we need to pick up the pace on finding new planets to search for Ancestor tech to complete the damned thing. Any good leads from the database?"
"A few," Ronon said, and tapped on his own tablet. "Sent it over. It'll at least be somewhere to start."
"Dr McKay," Teyla said in a tone that made John wince. He always hoped she and Rodney would work out their issues behind closed doors once in a while, but they tended to require an audience. For Rodney's part, it was because he wanted them to take his side. For Teyla's, he suspected it was the politician in her.
Rodney glanced over at her, weary, and conceded the floor to her with an eyeroll. "What is it this time?"
"It is the same thing as last time and it will continue to be the same thing until you can see reason."
"I've seen reason, mine, and I've decided I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion."
Teyla slammed her hand down on the table. "It is not the end of the discussion. This plan of yours to terraform certain planets in this galaxy is simply unacceptable. You will be killing native plants and animals and replacing them with lifeforms from your own galaxy."
John sometimes wondered if letting Teyla know Rodney's motivations for the terraforming project would smooth things over with her, but given they weren't even allowed to tell ninety-five percent of the Expedition, telling Teyla was out of the question.
"And I've told you, many times, if you could point me in the direction of planets in your galaxy with lifeforms which can coexist with each other, that are not tainted by radiation or chemical poisoning or other biological contaminants, we will gladly discuss trying to make do with local wildlife. However, failing that, this is the only feasible plan we have."
"Then perhaps we should wait. You cannot simply make decisions that will affect the whole galaxy on your own. No one man should ever have so much power in his hands," Teyla argued, glaring at Rodney. Everyone else in the room wisely said nothing.
Rodney snorted in disdain. "And yet, here were are. And these hands," Rodney said, wiggling his fingers, "are the best hands you'll find in any galaxy."
"But, Dr. McKay," Teyla said, "it is unethical in the extreme. Wouldn't your fellow scientists agree?"
"Let's not talk about ethics and morality, here," Rodney said, haughty. "We came to this galaxy hoping for information, and what we found was an entire galaxy decimated by thousands of years of war and half of the fucking hospitable planets in some sort of atomic winter. When you were President of Athos, how many wars were you engaged in? You act as if I'm proposing we run roughshod over a viable, inhabited planet. We're suggesting a test-run on a mostly barren, unclaimed planet."
"Hey," John said, earning a glare from both Rodney and Teyla. "We've been having this argument forever and neither of you will budge an inch. Can we table it for now?"
Rodney nodded. "Fine, fine. We need to deal with finding a new planet to relocate to, anyhow. Now that we have the ZPMs, we should try and find a place where we could farm or, at the very least, be able to lower the shield."
Looking distinctly unhappy, Teyla settled back in her chair. "It depends, Dr. McKay, on whether the planet needs to be unoccupied, or if we're willing to share space."
"Well, it'd be best if we didn't let anyone know where we are," Rodney said, and John agreed. They'd been threatened by four different societies since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy, most people seeing possession of Atlantis as a useful weapon for winning wars.
Teyla furrowed her brow for a moment, but then nodded. "In this, I agree. Too many people would use the knowledge contained here for ill, and the last thing anyone needs is more war."
"Amen to that," John said with feeling. It felt like he had spent his entire life since turning eighteen fighting one war after another, first on Earth, and now here.
The meeting lasted another twenty minutes, mainly dominated by supply issues, discussing the next call to Earth, and whether they should aid the Mitigans with their water filtration system.
John stayed behind after everyone else filed out. Rodney had that slightly hunted look he got when he was more stressed out than he was letting on, and didn't want to worry people. "You okay, buddy?"
"Just tired," Rodney said, but it sounded like a lie. The last call to Earth had brought bad news about the ongoing intergalactic disputes in the Milky Way, and there was a great deal of arguing between Rodney and the IOC about what was taking so long with preparations in Pegasus. The painful truth was that within three years, the people who paid his and Rodney's salaries wanted to be able to temporarily evacuate whatever remained of the population of Earth to a new planet without depleted resources and far away from warmongering aliens. "Why am I in charge again?"
"Because Director Weir thought you'd be the best person to lead the expedition," John replied dryly. He wasn't about to say that it mostly had to do with the fact that Rodney, like John, could interface with Ancestor tech easily and was as close to an expert they had. That, and John had the distinct impression Rodney's cut-throat attitude and refusal to give up on something he believed in also played a part. He was a scientist, true, but he was also the most arrogant, bullheaded sonuvabitch John had ever met.
Rodney frowned and lay his head down on the table. "I must have done something terrible in another life to get this sort of punishment."
"There, there," John said, patting him awkwardly on the back. "It could be worse."
Rodney's "how" was muffled against the desk and John grinned. "Well, Jeannie could decide this galaxy is big enough for the two of you. And, knowing her, she wouldn't have any problem dueling you to the death for your job."
"Hmph." Rodney stood, lips quirked up, and gathered his things. "I think I'll go bug Ronon instead of arguing with Teyla during my scheduled coffee break."
"Your funeral," John replied, because Teyla hated being thwarted when she wanted to yell, but Rodney had either the best self-protection instinct or the worst.
***
Rodney plopped down next to Ronon and sighed. Loudly. "Hey, buddy."
Looking up, Ronon grinned. "Hey."
"Not that I'm in any way jealous that you get to work all day in the labs and never have to deal with administrivia and are never forced to be polite for diplomacy's sake, but have you found anything interesting that I can legitimately use as an excuse to avoid meetings today?"
"In the database there's mention of a planet with fossil remains of a humanoid/insectoid hybrid species. According to their research, the species was wiped out by a particularly nasty virus. One of the Ancestor's geneticists wanted to see if they could clone its D.N.A., but they were forbidden by the Atlantean Council."
"Geneticists," Rodney said, pained. If movies taught anyone anything, it was never to revive a dead species because they'd probably eat you.
Ronon nodded. "Yep."
"About the dispersal unit," Rodney said, then, because too many of their hopes were riding on the unit's supposed ability to terraform a planet painlessly in under a month. Delegating the research to someone else had been hell for Rodney, but he didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything already, without adding to the list. "How close do you think we are, no bullshit?"
"Close," Ronon said, assured. "The latest simulation failed by the smallest margin yet. What we need is a power source that's stronger than the generators you brought, but not as strong as the ZPMs. The database said there were a couple of small manufacturing plants on the list of planets I sent you."
"It makes me wish we could find more information about the Exogenesis device, but anything without a failsafe is bad news." Rodney poked around Ronon's files for a moment.
Ronon shrugged. "Well, we can build these easily as soon as we find the last component."
"If it works," Rodney trailed off, and got to his feet. "I've got to get back to my office before someone realizes I'm not miserable and Murphy's Law kicks in."
"Later," Ronon replied, and went back to inputting data for a new simulation. "We'll figure it out."
Rodney could only hope. He had fifty new messages on the extranet by the time he got back to his office. Twenty of them were requests for leave Rodney couldn't approve for at least another three months. The rest were the usual myriad of bitching-about the food, co-workers, working conditions, his management style, etc.-and project proposals.
He didn't realize Teyla was in his office until she spoke, and then he jumped at least a foot in the air.
"I think I have a solution to our stalemate," Teyla said by way of greeting. She entered his office without waiting for an invitation, but Rodney didn't feel like arguing about manners, so he let it go.
"Yes," he said, waving one hand, but not bothering to look up when she walked right in front of his desk. "I'm a busy, busy man and if you have something to say, I suggest you get on with it."
"Bring it before the Coalition of Pegasus Governments. Let them vote on whether the terraforming plan goes forward," Teyla said, but in such a way Rodney had no doubt which way Teyla assumed the vote would go.
He was still surprised she'd suggested it. Teyla must be feeling desperate if she was planning on involving the Coalition. The last time she faced them was when she'd been assigned as diplomat to the Expedition, which she later confided she believed to be the result of backdoor political dirtydealing. Whatever her past experiences with the viperpit of local politics, there was no good reason to deny the request.
Rodney finally looked up. "And if the Coalition agrees?"
"I will still have my reservations, I won't deny that, but I will abide by their decision."
Rodney nodded. "Fine. We'll do that, then. Set it up with the Coalition, and we'll make our case."
Teyla's shoulders relaxed visibly when Rodney agreed; he figured that if the Coalition said no, he'd decide then whether to obey their injunction. "It is good to know that you can be reasonable, Rodney," Teyla said after a moment. Rodney smiled at her, pleased she'd used his name. She only used his title when she was angry with him, which had been almost all the time these days.
***
Two hours after Rodney left, Teyla arrived at the lab and gave Ronon her best diplomatic "trust me" smile.
"I have spoken with Rodney. He agreed to let the Coalition decide on the terraforming issue," she said, as if they were in agreement on this issue, which they weren't.
"Okay," Ronon said, deciding not to get into a debate about it. It annoyed him when Teyla assumed they'd agree every time she was in opposition to the Lanteans, but it usually served little purpose in pointing that out.
"I know you feel a great deal of loyalty to the Lanteans," Teyla began, voice hesitant as if she were worried about broaching the subject. "I know they rescued you."
"They didn't rescue me. I escaped from jail on my own. They simply offered me political asylum," Ronon argued, because there was a difference between the two and it was an important one. The best thing about the Lanteans was no one asked him to build bombs, and after he explained what had happened to his home, Rodney promised no one ever would.
"Regardless," Teyla pressed on, "they offered you a home when you had none. I understand if it makes you hesitant to oppose them, but when they go before the Coalition, I was hoping I could count on you to side with me."
Ronon didn't think she understood where he was coming from, and that's why her assumptions bothered him so much. Sure, she was no longer on Athos any longer, but Athos wasn't a wasteland like Sateda, with less than a fourth of the land habitable anymore.
"Between the Genii Revolution, and the multiple civil wars that followed, there's not a lot of options for people from wastelands. If we can rehabilitate even one lost planet, let one people go home instead of keeping on fighting over limited space, shouldn't we at least try?"
Teyla frowned. "Not at the expense of this galaxy's flora."
"If things don't change, it'll die anyhow."
With a disgruntled expression, Teyla turned on her heel and left, and Ronon went back to his own project. It wasn't that he didn't see the importance of her argument, but it wasn't a feasible option at the moment. It wasn't like he didn't care about local biodiversity: he was trying to develop a miniaturized robot which could scan and collect viable genetic samples from an ecosystem remotely, for cases when human exposure on a planet was inadvisable.
The guidance system wasn't quite working, and he hadn't been able to reduce the size to smaller than a crate. He'd have asked Rodney for help if he weren't sure Rodney would take it as a sign he was on Teyla's side and act like a child about the whole thing. Oh well. He'd work it out sooner or later.
***
John was in bed with War and Peace when Rodney finally stomped through the door at ten that night. He looked up just long enough to judge that he'd probably get laid that evening if he soothed Rodney's ego for a few minutes and went back to reading his book.
"Can't we just find a relatively safe deserted planet and dump Teyla on it? We can mock up a mission, have her go through the gate first, and change the address when her back's turned," Rodney whined as he removed his clothes in quick, jerky movements.
John tried his hardest not to laugh at that and failed. "No. You'd miss her."
"Lies!" Rodney's face was slightly red, and he was naked saved for his socks and one leg of his boxers which was still around his leg. "I'd be at peace for once."
"And then you'd have to deal with negotiating with politicians by yourself," John pointed out.
Rodney stopped in the middle of tugging off a sock and almost fell on his stricken face. "She can stay," he declared magnanimously, as if he hadn't just wished to abandon her on a planet for annoying him.
John smiled. "Such a benevolent overlord we have here on the great city of Atlantis."
"And don't you forget it," Rodney said, pointing at John. "Why are you still dressed?"
Raising an eyebrow, John gave Rodney a look. "I didn't realize watching you bitch as you get ready for bed was a seduction technique."
"I was stripping," Rodney defended, arms crossed over his chest. The posture and expression on Rodney's face was ruined by the fact he was naked and half-hard. "Stripping is one of the all time, no-fail, seduction greats!"
"You have nothing on the boys back home at the Gilded Saddle, that's for sure," John agreed, because he did actually want sex and Rodney could be surprisingly sensitive about some things.
"I don't want to hear about your kinky, dissolute youth. And I could totally snap all those twinks like twigs."
"That's right, big boy," John said, nodding. He flipped to the next page in the book. Almost every problem with Rodney could be solved by agreeing with him; doing that blindly had only bit him on the ass five or six times.
Rodney crawled onto the bed and tugged the book out of John's hands, setting it on the side table. "I'd hate to spoil the end for you..."
"Hey, you lost my place," John said, placing his hands on Rodney's hips. "I should punish you for that."
Distracted, Rodney perked up, smiling. "Punish me how?"
"Oh, I'm sure I could find lots of ways." John gave Rodney a filthy smile and smacked him on the ass once.
Rodney closed his eyes briefly. "That could work. Punishment sounds good. Let's do that."
"It's not punishment if you like it." John let Rodney tug his shirt over his head and toss it over to the general vicinity of the laundry basket.
"Hey," Rodney said as soon as he discovered John wasn't wearing any boxers because he'd only left the shirt on to be a dick. "You're a dick."
John grinned. "Yeah," he agreed, because he really could be one when he wanted and Rodney did tend to bring out the best in him. "Now shut up," he commanded, and smacked Rodney on the ass again.
"I'll show you shutting up," Rodney grumbled as he reached into the side table drawer for the weird mint flavored lube, because he was both smart and incapable of not talking unless there was cock in his mouth.
John was about to say as much when Rodney brought his hand back, slick and warm, and wrapped both of their cocks in his large grip, his other hand braced against the wall for balance. He then dropped the banter in favor of kissing Rodney quiet. It worked only to the extent that all he could hear now was the slick sounds of their cocks, the lube, and Rodney moaning noisily into his mouth.
"Oh, god," Rodney breathed out, panting after the kiss. He looked down between them and watched the way their cocks slid against each other, his thumb rubbing over the heads, and the way John kept circling his thumbs against the skin of Rodney's thighs, high up near the crease.
John trailed his hands up Rodney's body, one curling around his waist, the other resting on the nape of Rodney's neck. He pulled Rodney down for another kiss, gripping the back of his neck tightly as he did. Rodney let go of their cocks, bracing his other hand against the wall and simply thrust his hips again and again against John's cock. John tugged him closer, til they were flush against each other, cocks slick and sliding against their bellies. His hand drifted down until it was cupping Rodney's ass, and then smacked him again.
Rodney moaned loudly into John's neck, hips moving mindlessly as he did, his movements more and more erratic every time John brought his hand down.
"Just...once more, hard," Rodney begged into John's ear. John obeyed, hitting Rodney's ass as hard as he could. He felt Rodney's whole body tense up, and then the jerk of Rodney's cock as it spilled between them. Rodney's chest heaved as he rode it out and then he pushed off the wall and dropped back fully onto the bed on all fours. He crawled backwards until he could duck his head down and swallow John's cock whole.
John clenched his eyes closed, thrust into Rodney's mouth once, twice, three times, and came with a quietly cursed, "Fuck."
Rodney swallowed him down, then dropped heavily onto his side next to John's thigh and promptly fell asleep. He didn't even bother crawling under the sheets, which meant he'd be waking John up in the middle of the night, claiming to be cold and calling John a blanket thief.
John looked down at him. "Good night to you, too, buddy." Then he scooted down until he could steal back half the pillow from Rodney, and fell asleep too.
***
The very next morning Ronon knocked on their bedroom door at four thirty with the name and address of a planet which had been marked as a possible colonization target. Rodney had shot out of bed, mindless of the lack of pants-Ronon didn't care and John pretended to sleep through the entire fiasco, the asshole-and took the tablet, dressing himself one-handed and aimless.
The planet turned out to be the perfect place for them to move the city. Rodney dove headfirst into the practicalities and didn't come up for air for another two weeks.
At the end of that time, John hovered just inside Rodney's office, looking bored and mutinous. "I know it's been busy-too busy for you to service me like you promised you would-but if I don't go out on a mission soon, I'm going to start shooting target practice in the mess hall. And then I'll refuse to ever sleep with you again and you'll die old, alone, and miserable." This is what Rodney heard; what John actually said was, "Can we go back out on missions soon?"
"Sure, sure. Go ahead. Pick one of the planets on Ronon's short list and see if we can't ride our luck all the way to an Ancestor Treasure Trove. I need to sort out which of these murderous bastards gets our new address."
"I think they prefer the term 'allies', and we'll be off by 1100. Are you coming with us?" John asked less in the way of an invitation and more in the way of assessing potential problems, and Rodney wished he could say yes. The number of missions he was actually able to join was depressingly few, and most were of the boring diplomatic variety. Refusing to let Rodney go offworld whenever it suited him was one of the few times John pulled the 'ranking military officer of the base' card with Rodney, especially since Rodney put every effort into fucking the insubordination out of him at every turn.
"Unfortunately, I'll have to stay behind," Rodney said, meaning he wouldn't bully his way onto the team and take over. "I have to finish getting this move sorted out and decide what I'm going to actually tell the Coalition when we meet with them in two weeks."
"I'll keep you updated," John promised. He gave Rodney a half-assed lazy salute, and left. Rodney watched him go, wishing he could have had at least a mid-morning quickie, and turned back to his desk. To his great dismay, his work didn't disappear just because his libido wanted it gone.
Sometimes Rodney wished for a machine which allowed him to double his productivity. He would have wished for a clone of himself, if he didn't know for a fact he would never trust the bastard.
David Parish knocked on his door, interrupting his continued internal debate over who would win in a fight, Rodney or Rodney Point 2. "I know I should ask at the weekly meeting in a few days, but I was hoping to get to the Mainland today."
"Team One is going out to M1M-316 today. But the rest are free. Pick two and take Brown and Biro with you. Oh, and also take Kavanagh. I hate that guy. He spends his entire day sending me stupid emails."
David smiled, trying to hide surprise at Rodney's acquiescence, most likely. "Thanks. If all goes well, we can see about raising some fresh crops."
Rodney tried not to let his eyes glaze over at the thought of more meetings dedicated to crop yields, and waved an impatient hand in David's direction. "You have a go. Go on. Get work done. Take Kavanagh with you so I can get work done. Seriously, if you get him to go with you, I'll approve your next three ideas-provided they're not completely stupid and irredeemable-without any fuss."
"Sure thing, boss," David agreed and, thankfully, left.
Rodney allowed himself a self-congratulatory bite of stolen and hidden chocolate for that little coup and got back to work.
Although M1M-316 yielded nothing but dinosaurs and a hasty pull back to the gate, Rodney got laid that evening so he considered the entire day a success. The next day, he told John he'd be able to go out to the second planet on Ronon's short list at the start of his coffee break, thus earning himself quickie and a general feeling of good humor that lasted the rest of the morning.
So John found him in a very good mood when he returned from his trip to M1B-129.
"Hey," John said, doing his sexy-leaning thing in the door to Rodney's office. He had that 'fuck me, I'm a pilot' smirk on his face and a box in his arms. "I brought you a gift."
"Is it chocolate?" Rodney asked, because John's gifts tended to be either chocolate or sex, and he sincerely hoped it wasn't John's dick in that box.
John shook his head. "Nooooo... It's better."
"I doubt it," Rodney said, because chocolate could top sex some days. Curiosity drove him to his feet, and he absently kissed John as he took the box. He didn't often kiss John during the work day, but it was his innate reaction to receiving gifts.
He peered down into the box and decided a peck on the lips wasn't nearly good enough. After a second, more thorough kiss, Rodney danced around the room, box in hand. "Finally. Finally. Finally! I win. And everyone else loses. I win. We can build that damned dispersal unit, and I can send a big fuck you to the IOC back home and to everyone who ever doubted me everywhere."
Wisely, John didn't comment and just looked on with a smile on his face.
"I'm going to just sit here for a minute and then we can duck out for a celebratory fuck," Rodney said, not taking his eyes from the beautiful answer to all his prayers.
"Ronon's gonna want that back, and I doubt you want to wrestle him for it," John warned, but didn't move to take the box back, because he was smart and wanted the sex as much as Rodney did.
"Okay," Rodney said, taking the box with him as he moved toward the door. He made a beeline straight for Ronon's science cave and hovered over him as Ronon assembled the device with that last, crucial piece, and then played out their first ninety-nine point four percent successful simulation. Then he leaned over Ronon's shoulder as he deftly put together the device itself, offering friendly bits of advice and pointing out a few mistakes, only to get a snarled out "move before I shoot you" as a thanks.
John tugged his arm and gave him a significant look toward the door. Rodney debated a few minutes between supervising the construction of the device and sex, before following John out the door. Sex was less likely to end up with him in the infirmary, and John refused to fight for his honor after the first six times.
When Rodney snuck out of the bedroom after John had fallen asleep, he made his way quickly down to Ronon's lab and stared in glaze-eyed awe at the fully functional and assembled dispersal unit.
"I hope you're not planning on reneging on our deal, Dr. McKay," Teyla said from behind him. Rodney winced a little at the formal address and more at being caught out.
"No, no, it never even crossed my mind," Rodney lied. "I was just admiring good workmanship."
Teyla gave him a severe frown. "I hope so, Rodney."
Rodney smiled. First name again, Mission Lie His Face Off was a success. "Yes, the meeting with the Coalition is in ten days. It's hardly any time at all to wait."
Which was actually a total lie. It turned out to be a glacially slow ten days during which he occupied himself by sitting on his hands and pretending he hadn't been caught seriously contemplating attempts to sneak the unit onto the jumper on four separate occasions.
The Coalition was promising to be a huge boring waste of time, dealing with long-winded politicians more concerned about their own petty, relatively small concerns instead of something that would benefit two galaxies. Still, he had promised, and his life was always easier when the least amount of people possible yelled at him on any given day.
***
John stood in front of the Coalition, frowning, and tried very hard not to roll his eyes. Cowen, a complete gasbag from the Genii, asked questions that all but screamed 'wants to utilize it for military applications'. Keras, who looked like a college student, liked the idea, but hoped to find a way to preserve this galaxy's wild-life. Kelore of Latira gave the mission a go, mainly because they asked first. Shiana of Santhal threatened to go to war over its use if they didn't have a Pegasus cocktail inside it. Dimas, the smarmy leader of the Riva, declined to give an affirmative answer either way.
Harmony smiled charmingly and said, "I agree with whatever Dr. McKay thinks is best." Which pleased and annoyed him in turns.
"Perhaps," Cowen said, in that oily, lying jackass way, "we could use some more honesty from the representatives of Atlantis before we make a final decision."
John tried not to wince when Rodney stepped up to the podium. He had to speak for them as their leader, but Rodney never had a deft touch and Teyla, who would often do this bit for him, obviously refused.
"Look, we came to this galaxy seeking answers to questions left by the Ancestors," Rodney began. The truth was, the Ancestors had left Earth vulnerable. As soon as the Stargates had been found, Earth had been dragged into conflict, and the information the Ancestors had left behind was mostly lost to them. "This project was on our backburner when we came, but became more important the more we saw of this galaxy, which is even in worse shape than our own." What Rodney left out was that they had always intended on terraforming an abandoned planet to have a place to evacuate Earth.
"We're not asking to destroy your galaxy or replace the Pegasus Galaxy with endless Earths. We're asking to test out a terraforming device which could make an uninhabited planet useful for growing crops and raising food animals. Dr. Ronon Dex, a respected Satedan scientist, is currently working on a device to mine and create at Pegasus-seeding unit. This device can be used in all further terraforming plans. But first, we need to see if it works, and we have everything we need now, at hand." John hoped no one brought up Ronon's criminal record, because that'd look bad for them.
"Very well," Cowen said, not overly pleased, but at least not radiating menace. "We'll deliberate."
It took over four hours for them to come back with the Coalition-equivalent of a hung jury. "Perhaps it'd be best if you wait for Dr. Dex," that was said with a sneer," to figure out the seeding device before you attempt to terraform one of this galaxy's planets."
John did his very best to not punch Cowen in the face, that rat bastard.
Rodney stormed out of the meeting place, deliberately ignoring Teyla, who was radiating smug victory, and shared a look with John, which meant this wasn't over, not by a long shot.
It took three orgasms, three, before Rodney was calm and pleasant enough to broach the topic. "So," John panted, sweaty and working himself toward a sex coma, "what're we gonna do about the Coalition?"
Rodney flopped onto his belly after gamely trying to get up to go to the bathroom for a washcloth and failing. "Donchu worry 'bout tha'. Imma gonna show 'em all."
"'kay," John agreed, and closed his eyes. It could wait. Til the next morning, at the very least.
***
Rodney poked John in the side at 0330, waking him. Sex made things clear to Rodney, so very clear. It also calmed him down long enough to make plans that couldn't fail.
"My dick's broke, go back to sleep," John slurred against his pillow.
Rodney snorted. "I hate to burst your bubble, sweetcheeks, but it isn't your dick I want."
"You're not fuckin' me. Gotta mission t'morrow."
Rolling his eyes, Rodney poked John again. "Don't want your ass either. Well, not now, at least. Get up. We've got work to do."
Rodney whistled to himself as he showered and generously moved to give John room when he blindly wandered in five minutes later.
"This had better be worth it," John said, murder in his heart. John was always pissy if he got less than six hours of sleep after a mini-sex marathon.
Rodney grinned brightly. "It is. It so is."
John kept watch while Rodney snuck the dispersal unit out of the conspicuously empty science cave Ronon practically lived in. Good: Ronon had received the email Rodney'd sent and his reputation for being effective at bribery was still intact.
The walk down to the Puddlejumper bay was hell on his nerves. He was half-expecting Teyla to jump out at them at any minute, waving her sticks at him angrily, but no one bothered them at all. Which he found strange, but he didn't want to jinx himself by thinking about it too hard.
"Where are we headed?" John asked as he piloted the Jumper through the open bay. They'd decided to use the Mainland gate to avoid giving away their plan too quickly.
Rodney thought about it for a moment. "How about M44-5YN?"
"Sounds good, buddy. Dial it up."
When they got to the planet, John put the Jumper on autopilot. Rodney opened the back hatch and looked down at the small field that surrounded the Stargate. He sat, letting his feet dangle over the side. John joined him, sitting on the opposite side of the dispersal unit.
"Are we really doing this?" John asked, and it was a fair question. Teyla, if she found out...when she found out, was going to be furious. And at least three members of the Coalition had threatened war over activating the device. But the benefits...Rodney couldn't ignore them, he couldn't ignore Earth's very immediate needs over a few hurt feelings.
"I think so." Once activated, the device would take about an hour to power up, giving them time to leave. In a week, the only thing that'd look the same would be the Stargate.
John didn't look disapproving, so Rodney didn't see any reason not to, not with so many good reasons to go forward.
Rodney got to his feet. He activated the device, smiling as it glowed blue, and said, "Well, you only get a chance to play god once in your life," and then tossed it down to the planet below.
The end.
**
Poll
Author: reddwarfer
Team: Space
Prompt: act of god
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: R
Word count: 6,900
Warnings: Goes AU near the end of Tao of Rodney
Summary: “And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” (Libba Bray)
Author’s Notes: Takes a few lines directly from Tao of Rodney. Thanks muchly to my beta-readers.
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the prompt in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
"You love me? Really? All of you?" Rodney asked, feeling a bit desperate.
In the most awkward way Rodney'd ever seen, John replied, "In a way a friend feels about another friend."
Rodney kindly didn't challenge him on it. "You’re just saying that because I’m gonna die...Oh, God. I can’t believe I’m gonna die." It sucked and he didn't have enough time to do all that he'd wanted to do. He was going to die and he'd never be able to save John's ass again or be smarter than everyone ever again.
Obviously trying to forestall his panic, John said, "All right...just back to the blue skies. Let your thoughts go. Concentrate on your breathing."
And he did.
***
Even the device that got Rodney to this point couldn't have prepared him for this sudden certainty of knowing. It filled his senses, pasts and futures overlapping until they blurred together into a black field of emptiness. He was everywhere, everywhen, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to where he was. He saw how to fix himself, how to save himself and go right back to his friends and family... and he would, but he could make it better. While he had the opportunity. Just one tiny adjustment, barely one millimeter in another direction. The tiniest turn left.
Just one little change, and he could erase the untimely deaths of millions.
***
"Rodney," John mumbled into his pillow when he felt the bed shift beneath him. "Whatimizzit?"
"Too damned early," Rodney grumped, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. The coffee maker started burbling, as Rodney'd somehow finagled it to work on Ancestor tech, which meant it started working when Rodney wished. "I need to get ready for a day of meetings."
"Better you than me," John agreed, snuggling back into the bed, hoping to catch a few more hours before the round of morning meetings. Meetings were the part of being the ranking military officer he liked least. That and riding herd over extremely bored Marines.
Rodney snorted as he poured himself a cup. "Keep that attitude up and I'll put you in charge of the expedition instead of me and duel Zelenka for head of the science department."
"The only reason why you'd have to duel him is because you made that ridiculous rule in the first place," John said, fairly. If you want to protest Dr McKay's hiring decisions, you must challenge the department head in question to a duel to the death. John was pretty sure Rodney was joking, but no one had tried to call his bluff, either.
Rodney had only waited until the wormhole from Earth had winked out before he decided that he preferred his way best and tossed out any rules and guidelines for leading the expedition that he didn't feel like following. Despite some grumblings and a few mutinous-looking scientists, Rodney's way worked far better than John expected.
"On the bright side, it stopped the deluge of whiny emails from all those morons who think they know better than I do about anything, which they don't." Rodney only paused in his rant to take a sip of coffee. "Anyhow, there's no rest for the excessively brilliant. See you at nine."
Once John was sure Rodney was actually gone, and not going to come back crashing into the room looking for some forgotten item in the loudest way possible, he went back to sleep.
***
John only felt marginally more alive when he stumbled into Rodney's office for the nine am meeting. He had four cups of coffee-two handles in each hand-and Rodney promptly stole three from him as soon as he walked through the door.
"You're late," Rodney said, even though he was precisely on time. It was the coffee fix that was late, but John figured if Rodney wanted it bad enough, he could get it himself.
A minute later, Radek, Carson, Teyla, and David walked through the door and arranged themselves around the table.
"Where's Ronon?" Rodney asked, eyes trained on Radek. "He's supposed to be at this meeting, too."
"You know how he is with his simulations," Radek said, tired. There were circles under his eyes, as if he had spent another night in the lab. The scientists Rodney trusted with mission sensitive imperatives always tended to be sleep deprived, given there were only two of them.
Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, hasn't anyone ever told him a watched simulation never computes?"
"You're the one who put him in charge of the database and Ancestor tech," Radek countered, and John raised a hand because if he let them, they'd be bickering about stupid things for hours.
"Do you want me to get him?" John asked.
Rodney gave Radek a wicked glare before turning to John. "Yeah, sure."
Ronon was where he usually was most mornings, poking at the computer simulations for the terraforming dispersal unit they were trying to build with the incomplete blueprints the Ancestors left behind. It was not going so well. "Hey buddy," John said, poking a muscled arm. "Meeting time."
"Already?" Ronon asked, not taking his eyes off the data. "McKay won't miss me if I'm late."
"I hate to break it to you," John said, laughing, "but he sent me to fetch you."
At that, Ronon finally looked over at him. "Shit."
"Concise and accurate," John said, patting Ronon on the shoulder. "That's what I like best about you."
When they walked into the meeting room, Rodney greeted them with an exaggerated glance at his nonexistent watch. "Any later, I'd have declared you dead."
"Works for me," Ronon replied, with a grin. Rodney gave him a scathing look, but didn't comment, which was tantamount to forgiveness. Ronon could get away with just about anything with Rodney, because he was one of the few people whose intelligence Rodney respected.
"Now that we are now fifteen minutes late, can we please get on with this meeting? Or it'll cause a domino effect of lateness and I won't be in bed in time to have sex before John passes out."
John sighed into his now cold coffee and tried to ignore the smirks leveled in his direction. Not having to hide their relationship was nice, but sometimes he wished Rodney understood the meaning of the word discretion.
"Where were we," Rodney said, fiddling with his tablet and oblivious to John's embarrassment. "Oh, yes. I'm guessing we're just as far on the dispersal unit as we were last week: nowhere. So, we need to pick up the pace on finding new planets to search for Ancestor tech to complete the damned thing. Any good leads from the database?"
"A few," Ronon said, and tapped on his own tablet. "Sent it over. It'll at least be somewhere to start."
"Dr McKay," Teyla said in a tone that made John wince. He always hoped she and Rodney would work out their issues behind closed doors once in a while, but they tended to require an audience. For Rodney's part, it was because he wanted them to take his side. For Teyla's, he suspected it was the politician in her.
Rodney glanced over at her, weary, and conceded the floor to her with an eyeroll. "What is it this time?"
"It is the same thing as last time and it will continue to be the same thing until you can see reason."
"I've seen reason, mine, and I've decided I'm right. You're wrong. End of discussion."
Teyla slammed her hand down on the table. "It is not the end of the discussion. This plan of yours to terraform certain planets in this galaxy is simply unacceptable. You will be killing native plants and animals and replacing them with lifeforms from your own galaxy."
John sometimes wondered if letting Teyla know Rodney's motivations for the terraforming project would smooth things over with her, but given they weren't even allowed to tell ninety-five percent of the Expedition, telling Teyla was out of the question.
"And I've told you, many times, if you could point me in the direction of planets in your galaxy with lifeforms which can coexist with each other, that are not tainted by radiation or chemical poisoning or other biological contaminants, we will gladly discuss trying to make do with local wildlife. However, failing that, this is the only feasible plan we have."
"Then perhaps we should wait. You cannot simply make decisions that will affect the whole galaxy on your own. No one man should ever have so much power in his hands," Teyla argued, glaring at Rodney. Everyone else in the room wisely said nothing.
Rodney snorted in disdain. "And yet, here were are. And these hands," Rodney said, wiggling his fingers, "are the best hands you'll find in any galaxy."
"But, Dr. McKay," Teyla said, "it is unethical in the extreme. Wouldn't your fellow scientists agree?"
"Let's not talk about ethics and morality, here," Rodney said, haughty. "We came to this galaxy hoping for information, and what we found was an entire galaxy decimated by thousands of years of war and half of the fucking hospitable planets in some sort of atomic winter. When you were President of Athos, how many wars were you engaged in? You act as if I'm proposing we run roughshod over a viable, inhabited planet. We're suggesting a test-run on a mostly barren, unclaimed planet."
"Hey," John said, earning a glare from both Rodney and Teyla. "We've been having this argument forever and neither of you will budge an inch. Can we table it for now?"
Rodney nodded. "Fine, fine. We need to deal with finding a new planet to relocate to, anyhow. Now that we have the ZPMs, we should try and find a place where we could farm or, at the very least, be able to lower the shield."
Looking distinctly unhappy, Teyla settled back in her chair. "It depends, Dr. McKay, on whether the planet needs to be unoccupied, or if we're willing to share space."
"Well, it'd be best if we didn't let anyone know where we are," Rodney said, and John agreed. They'd been threatened by four different societies since coming to the Pegasus Galaxy, most people seeing possession of Atlantis as a useful weapon for winning wars.
Teyla furrowed her brow for a moment, but then nodded. "In this, I agree. Too many people would use the knowledge contained here for ill, and the last thing anyone needs is more war."
"Amen to that," John said with feeling. It felt like he had spent his entire life since turning eighteen fighting one war after another, first on Earth, and now here.
The meeting lasted another twenty minutes, mainly dominated by supply issues, discussing the next call to Earth, and whether they should aid the Mitigans with their water filtration system.
John stayed behind after everyone else filed out. Rodney had that slightly hunted look he got when he was more stressed out than he was letting on, and didn't want to worry people. "You okay, buddy?"
"Just tired," Rodney said, but it sounded like a lie. The last call to Earth had brought bad news about the ongoing intergalactic disputes in the Milky Way, and there was a great deal of arguing between Rodney and the IOC about what was taking so long with preparations in Pegasus. The painful truth was that within three years, the people who paid his and Rodney's salaries wanted to be able to temporarily evacuate whatever remained of the population of Earth to a new planet without depleted resources and far away from warmongering aliens. "Why am I in charge again?"
"Because Director Weir thought you'd be the best person to lead the expedition," John replied dryly. He wasn't about to say that it mostly had to do with the fact that Rodney, like John, could interface with Ancestor tech easily and was as close to an expert they had. That, and John had the distinct impression Rodney's cut-throat attitude and refusal to give up on something he believed in also played a part. He was a scientist, true, but he was also the most arrogant, bullheaded sonuvabitch John had ever met.
Rodney frowned and lay his head down on the table. "I must have done something terrible in another life to get this sort of punishment."
"There, there," John said, patting him awkwardly on the back. "It could be worse."
Rodney's "how" was muffled against the desk and John grinned. "Well, Jeannie could decide this galaxy is big enough for the two of you. And, knowing her, she wouldn't have any problem dueling you to the death for your job."
"Hmph." Rodney stood, lips quirked up, and gathered his things. "I think I'll go bug Ronon instead of arguing with Teyla during my scheduled coffee break."
"Your funeral," John replied, because Teyla hated being thwarted when she wanted to yell, but Rodney had either the best self-protection instinct or the worst.
***
Rodney plopped down next to Ronon and sighed. Loudly. "Hey, buddy."
Looking up, Ronon grinned. "Hey."
"Not that I'm in any way jealous that you get to work all day in the labs and never have to deal with administrivia and are never forced to be polite for diplomacy's sake, but have you found anything interesting that I can legitimately use as an excuse to avoid meetings today?"
"In the database there's mention of a planet with fossil remains of a humanoid/insectoid hybrid species. According to their research, the species was wiped out by a particularly nasty virus. One of the Ancestor's geneticists wanted to see if they could clone its D.N.A., but they were forbidden by the Atlantean Council."
"Geneticists," Rodney said, pained. If movies taught anyone anything, it was never to revive a dead species because they'd probably eat you.
Ronon nodded. "Yep."
"About the dispersal unit," Rodney said, then, because too many of their hopes were riding on the unit's supposed ability to terraform a planet painlessly in under a month. Delegating the research to someone else had been hell for Rodney, but he didn't have enough hours in the day to do everything already, without adding to the list. "How close do you think we are, no bullshit?"
"Close," Ronon said, assured. "The latest simulation failed by the smallest margin yet. What we need is a power source that's stronger than the generators you brought, but not as strong as the ZPMs. The database said there were a couple of small manufacturing plants on the list of planets I sent you."
"It makes me wish we could find more information about the Exogenesis device, but anything without a failsafe is bad news." Rodney poked around Ronon's files for a moment.
Ronon shrugged. "Well, we can build these easily as soon as we find the last component."
"If it works," Rodney trailed off, and got to his feet. "I've got to get back to my office before someone realizes I'm not miserable and Murphy's Law kicks in."
"Later," Ronon replied, and went back to inputting data for a new simulation. "We'll figure it out."
Rodney could only hope. He had fifty new messages on the extranet by the time he got back to his office. Twenty of them were requests for leave Rodney couldn't approve for at least another three months. The rest were the usual myriad of bitching-about the food, co-workers, working conditions, his management style, etc.-and project proposals.
He didn't realize Teyla was in his office until she spoke, and then he jumped at least a foot in the air.
"I think I have a solution to our stalemate," Teyla said by way of greeting. She entered his office without waiting for an invitation, but Rodney didn't feel like arguing about manners, so he let it go.
"Yes," he said, waving one hand, but not bothering to look up when she walked right in front of his desk. "I'm a busy, busy man and if you have something to say, I suggest you get on with it."
"Bring it before the Coalition of Pegasus Governments. Let them vote on whether the terraforming plan goes forward," Teyla said, but in such a way Rodney had no doubt which way Teyla assumed the vote would go.
He was still surprised she'd suggested it. Teyla must be feeling desperate if she was planning on involving the Coalition. The last time she faced them was when she'd been assigned as diplomat to the Expedition, which she later confided she believed to be the result of backdoor political dirtydealing. Whatever her past experiences with the viperpit of local politics, there was no good reason to deny the request.
Rodney finally looked up. "And if the Coalition agrees?"
"I will still have my reservations, I won't deny that, but I will abide by their decision."
Rodney nodded. "Fine. We'll do that, then. Set it up with the Coalition, and we'll make our case."
Teyla's shoulders relaxed visibly when Rodney agreed; he figured that if the Coalition said no, he'd decide then whether to obey their injunction. "It is good to know that you can be reasonable, Rodney," Teyla said after a moment. Rodney smiled at her, pleased she'd used his name. She only used his title when she was angry with him, which had been almost all the time these days.
***
Two hours after Rodney left, Teyla arrived at the lab and gave Ronon her best diplomatic "trust me" smile.
"I have spoken with Rodney. He agreed to let the Coalition decide on the terraforming issue," she said, as if they were in agreement on this issue, which they weren't.
"Okay," Ronon said, deciding not to get into a debate about it. It annoyed him when Teyla assumed they'd agree every time she was in opposition to the Lanteans, but it usually served little purpose in pointing that out.
"I know you feel a great deal of loyalty to the Lanteans," Teyla began, voice hesitant as if she were worried about broaching the subject. "I know they rescued you."
"They didn't rescue me. I escaped from jail on my own. They simply offered me political asylum," Ronon argued, because there was a difference between the two and it was an important one. The best thing about the Lanteans was no one asked him to build bombs, and after he explained what had happened to his home, Rodney promised no one ever would.
"Regardless," Teyla pressed on, "they offered you a home when you had none. I understand if it makes you hesitant to oppose them, but when they go before the Coalition, I was hoping I could count on you to side with me."
Ronon didn't think she understood where he was coming from, and that's why her assumptions bothered him so much. Sure, she was no longer on Athos any longer, but Athos wasn't a wasteland like Sateda, with less than a fourth of the land habitable anymore.
"Between the Genii Revolution, and the multiple civil wars that followed, there's not a lot of options for people from wastelands. If we can rehabilitate even one lost planet, let one people go home instead of keeping on fighting over limited space, shouldn't we at least try?"
Teyla frowned. "Not at the expense of this galaxy's flora."
"If things don't change, it'll die anyhow."
With a disgruntled expression, Teyla turned on her heel and left, and Ronon went back to his own project. It wasn't that he didn't see the importance of her argument, but it wasn't a feasible option at the moment. It wasn't like he didn't care about local biodiversity: he was trying to develop a miniaturized robot which could scan and collect viable genetic samples from an ecosystem remotely, for cases when human exposure on a planet was inadvisable.
The guidance system wasn't quite working, and he hadn't been able to reduce the size to smaller than a crate. He'd have asked Rodney for help if he weren't sure Rodney would take it as a sign he was on Teyla's side and act like a child about the whole thing. Oh well. He'd work it out sooner or later.
***
John was in bed with War and Peace when Rodney finally stomped through the door at ten that night. He looked up just long enough to judge that he'd probably get laid that evening if he soothed Rodney's ego for a few minutes and went back to reading his book.
"Can't we just find a relatively safe deserted planet and dump Teyla on it? We can mock up a mission, have her go through the gate first, and change the address when her back's turned," Rodney whined as he removed his clothes in quick, jerky movements.
John tried his hardest not to laugh at that and failed. "No. You'd miss her."
"Lies!" Rodney's face was slightly red, and he was naked saved for his socks and one leg of his boxers which was still around his leg. "I'd be at peace for once."
"And then you'd have to deal with negotiating with politicians by yourself," John pointed out.
Rodney stopped in the middle of tugging off a sock and almost fell on his stricken face. "She can stay," he declared magnanimously, as if he hadn't just wished to abandon her on a planet for annoying him.
John smiled. "Such a benevolent overlord we have here on the great city of Atlantis."
"And don't you forget it," Rodney said, pointing at John. "Why are you still dressed?"
Raising an eyebrow, John gave Rodney a look. "I didn't realize watching you bitch as you get ready for bed was a seduction technique."
"I was stripping," Rodney defended, arms crossed over his chest. The posture and expression on Rodney's face was ruined by the fact he was naked and half-hard. "Stripping is one of the all time, no-fail, seduction greats!"
"You have nothing on the boys back home at the Gilded Saddle, that's for sure," John agreed, because he did actually want sex and Rodney could be surprisingly sensitive about some things.
"I don't want to hear about your kinky, dissolute youth. And I could totally snap all those twinks like twigs."
"That's right, big boy," John said, nodding. He flipped to the next page in the book. Almost every problem with Rodney could be solved by agreeing with him; doing that blindly had only bit him on the ass five or six times.
Rodney crawled onto the bed and tugged the book out of John's hands, setting it on the side table. "I'd hate to spoil the end for you..."
"Hey, you lost my place," John said, placing his hands on Rodney's hips. "I should punish you for that."
Distracted, Rodney perked up, smiling. "Punish me how?"
"Oh, I'm sure I could find lots of ways." John gave Rodney a filthy smile and smacked him on the ass once.
Rodney closed his eyes briefly. "That could work. Punishment sounds good. Let's do that."
"It's not punishment if you like it." John let Rodney tug his shirt over his head and toss it over to the general vicinity of the laundry basket.
"Hey," Rodney said as soon as he discovered John wasn't wearing any boxers because he'd only left the shirt on to be a dick. "You're a dick."
John grinned. "Yeah," he agreed, because he really could be one when he wanted and Rodney did tend to bring out the best in him. "Now shut up," he commanded, and smacked Rodney on the ass again.
"I'll show you shutting up," Rodney grumbled as he reached into the side table drawer for the weird mint flavored lube, because he was both smart and incapable of not talking unless there was cock in his mouth.
John was about to say as much when Rodney brought his hand back, slick and warm, and wrapped both of their cocks in his large grip, his other hand braced against the wall for balance. He then dropped the banter in favor of kissing Rodney quiet. It worked only to the extent that all he could hear now was the slick sounds of their cocks, the lube, and Rodney moaning noisily into his mouth.
"Oh, god," Rodney breathed out, panting after the kiss. He looked down between them and watched the way their cocks slid against each other, his thumb rubbing over the heads, and the way John kept circling his thumbs against the skin of Rodney's thighs, high up near the crease.
John trailed his hands up Rodney's body, one curling around his waist, the other resting on the nape of Rodney's neck. He pulled Rodney down for another kiss, gripping the back of his neck tightly as he did. Rodney let go of their cocks, bracing his other hand against the wall and simply thrust his hips again and again against John's cock. John tugged him closer, til they were flush against each other, cocks slick and sliding against their bellies. His hand drifted down until it was cupping Rodney's ass, and then smacked him again.
Rodney moaned loudly into John's neck, hips moving mindlessly as he did, his movements more and more erratic every time John brought his hand down.
"Just...once more, hard," Rodney begged into John's ear. John obeyed, hitting Rodney's ass as hard as he could. He felt Rodney's whole body tense up, and then the jerk of Rodney's cock as it spilled between them. Rodney's chest heaved as he rode it out and then he pushed off the wall and dropped back fully onto the bed on all fours. He crawled backwards until he could duck his head down and swallow John's cock whole.
John clenched his eyes closed, thrust into Rodney's mouth once, twice, three times, and came with a quietly cursed, "Fuck."
Rodney swallowed him down, then dropped heavily onto his side next to John's thigh and promptly fell asleep. He didn't even bother crawling under the sheets, which meant he'd be waking John up in the middle of the night, claiming to be cold and calling John a blanket thief.
John looked down at him. "Good night to you, too, buddy." Then he scooted down until he could steal back half the pillow from Rodney, and fell asleep too.
***
The very next morning Ronon knocked on their bedroom door at four thirty with the name and address of a planet which had been marked as a possible colonization target. Rodney had shot out of bed, mindless of the lack of pants-Ronon didn't care and John pretended to sleep through the entire fiasco, the asshole-and took the tablet, dressing himself one-handed and aimless.
The planet turned out to be the perfect place for them to move the city. Rodney dove headfirst into the practicalities and didn't come up for air for another two weeks.
At the end of that time, John hovered just inside Rodney's office, looking bored and mutinous. "I know it's been busy-too busy for you to service me like you promised you would-but if I don't go out on a mission soon, I'm going to start shooting target practice in the mess hall. And then I'll refuse to ever sleep with you again and you'll die old, alone, and miserable." This is what Rodney heard; what John actually said was, "Can we go back out on missions soon?"
"Sure, sure. Go ahead. Pick one of the planets on Ronon's short list and see if we can't ride our luck all the way to an Ancestor Treasure Trove. I need to sort out which of these murderous bastards gets our new address."
"I think they prefer the term 'allies', and we'll be off by 1100. Are you coming with us?" John asked less in the way of an invitation and more in the way of assessing potential problems, and Rodney wished he could say yes. The number of missions he was actually able to join was depressingly few, and most were of the boring diplomatic variety. Refusing to let Rodney go offworld whenever it suited him was one of the few times John pulled the 'ranking military officer of the base' card with Rodney, especially since Rodney put every effort into fucking the insubordination out of him at every turn.
"Unfortunately, I'll have to stay behind," Rodney said, meaning he wouldn't bully his way onto the team and take over. "I have to finish getting this move sorted out and decide what I'm going to actually tell the Coalition when we meet with them in two weeks."
"I'll keep you updated," John promised. He gave Rodney a half-assed lazy salute, and left. Rodney watched him go, wishing he could have had at least a mid-morning quickie, and turned back to his desk. To his great dismay, his work didn't disappear just because his libido wanted it gone.
Sometimes Rodney wished for a machine which allowed him to double his productivity. He would have wished for a clone of himself, if he didn't know for a fact he would never trust the bastard.
David Parish knocked on his door, interrupting his continued internal debate over who would win in a fight, Rodney or Rodney Point 2. "I know I should ask at the weekly meeting in a few days, but I was hoping to get to the Mainland today."
"Team One is going out to M1M-316 today. But the rest are free. Pick two and take Brown and Biro with you. Oh, and also take Kavanagh. I hate that guy. He spends his entire day sending me stupid emails."
David smiled, trying to hide surprise at Rodney's acquiescence, most likely. "Thanks. If all goes well, we can see about raising some fresh crops."
Rodney tried not to let his eyes glaze over at the thought of more meetings dedicated to crop yields, and waved an impatient hand in David's direction. "You have a go. Go on. Get work done. Take Kavanagh with you so I can get work done. Seriously, if you get him to go with you, I'll approve your next three ideas-provided they're not completely stupid and irredeemable-without any fuss."
"Sure thing, boss," David agreed and, thankfully, left.
Rodney allowed himself a self-congratulatory bite of stolen and hidden chocolate for that little coup and got back to work.
Although M1M-316 yielded nothing but dinosaurs and a hasty pull back to the gate, Rodney got laid that evening so he considered the entire day a success. The next day, he told John he'd be able to go out to the second planet on Ronon's short list at the start of his coffee break, thus earning himself quickie and a general feeling of good humor that lasted the rest of the morning.
So John found him in a very good mood when he returned from his trip to M1B-129.
"Hey," John said, doing his sexy-leaning thing in the door to Rodney's office. He had that 'fuck me, I'm a pilot' smirk on his face and a box in his arms. "I brought you a gift."
"Is it chocolate?" Rodney asked, because John's gifts tended to be either chocolate or sex, and he sincerely hoped it wasn't John's dick in that box.
John shook his head. "Nooooo... It's better."
"I doubt it," Rodney said, because chocolate could top sex some days. Curiosity drove him to his feet, and he absently kissed John as he took the box. He didn't often kiss John during the work day, but it was his innate reaction to receiving gifts.
He peered down into the box and decided a peck on the lips wasn't nearly good enough. After a second, more thorough kiss, Rodney danced around the room, box in hand. "Finally. Finally. Finally! I win. And everyone else loses. I win. We can build that damned dispersal unit, and I can send a big fuck you to the IOC back home and to everyone who ever doubted me everywhere."
Wisely, John didn't comment and just looked on with a smile on his face.
"I'm going to just sit here for a minute and then we can duck out for a celebratory fuck," Rodney said, not taking his eyes from the beautiful answer to all his prayers.
"Ronon's gonna want that back, and I doubt you want to wrestle him for it," John warned, but didn't move to take the box back, because he was smart and wanted the sex as much as Rodney did.
"Okay," Rodney said, taking the box with him as he moved toward the door. He made a beeline straight for Ronon's science cave and hovered over him as Ronon assembled the device with that last, crucial piece, and then played out their first ninety-nine point four percent successful simulation. Then he leaned over Ronon's shoulder as he deftly put together the device itself, offering friendly bits of advice and pointing out a few mistakes, only to get a snarled out "move before I shoot you" as a thanks.
John tugged his arm and gave him a significant look toward the door. Rodney debated a few minutes between supervising the construction of the device and sex, before following John out the door. Sex was less likely to end up with him in the infirmary, and John refused to fight for his honor after the first six times.
When Rodney snuck out of the bedroom after John had fallen asleep, he made his way quickly down to Ronon's lab and stared in glaze-eyed awe at the fully functional and assembled dispersal unit.
"I hope you're not planning on reneging on our deal, Dr. McKay," Teyla said from behind him. Rodney winced a little at the formal address and more at being caught out.
"No, no, it never even crossed my mind," Rodney lied. "I was just admiring good workmanship."
Teyla gave him a severe frown. "I hope so, Rodney."
Rodney smiled. First name again, Mission Lie His Face Off was a success. "Yes, the meeting with the Coalition is in ten days. It's hardly any time at all to wait."
Which was actually a total lie. It turned out to be a glacially slow ten days during which he occupied himself by sitting on his hands and pretending he hadn't been caught seriously contemplating attempts to sneak the unit onto the jumper on four separate occasions.
The Coalition was promising to be a huge boring waste of time, dealing with long-winded politicians more concerned about their own petty, relatively small concerns instead of something that would benefit two galaxies. Still, he had promised, and his life was always easier when the least amount of people possible yelled at him on any given day.
***
John stood in front of the Coalition, frowning, and tried very hard not to roll his eyes. Cowen, a complete gasbag from the Genii, asked questions that all but screamed 'wants to utilize it for military applications'. Keras, who looked like a college student, liked the idea, but hoped to find a way to preserve this galaxy's wild-life. Kelore of Latira gave the mission a go, mainly because they asked first. Shiana of Santhal threatened to go to war over its use if they didn't have a Pegasus cocktail inside it. Dimas, the smarmy leader of the Riva, declined to give an affirmative answer either way.
Harmony smiled charmingly and said, "I agree with whatever Dr. McKay thinks is best." Which pleased and annoyed him in turns.
"Perhaps," Cowen said, in that oily, lying jackass way, "we could use some more honesty from the representatives of Atlantis before we make a final decision."
John tried not to wince when Rodney stepped up to the podium. He had to speak for them as their leader, but Rodney never had a deft touch and Teyla, who would often do this bit for him, obviously refused.
"Look, we came to this galaxy seeking answers to questions left by the Ancestors," Rodney began. The truth was, the Ancestors had left Earth vulnerable. As soon as the Stargates had been found, Earth had been dragged into conflict, and the information the Ancestors had left behind was mostly lost to them. "This project was on our backburner when we came, but became more important the more we saw of this galaxy, which is even in worse shape than our own." What Rodney left out was that they had always intended on terraforming an abandoned planet to have a place to evacuate Earth.
"We're not asking to destroy your galaxy or replace the Pegasus Galaxy with endless Earths. We're asking to test out a terraforming device which could make an uninhabited planet useful for growing crops and raising food animals. Dr. Ronon Dex, a respected Satedan scientist, is currently working on a device to mine and create at Pegasus-seeding unit. This device can be used in all further terraforming plans. But first, we need to see if it works, and we have everything we need now, at hand." John hoped no one brought up Ronon's criminal record, because that'd look bad for them.
"Very well," Cowen said, not overly pleased, but at least not radiating menace. "We'll deliberate."
It took over four hours for them to come back with the Coalition-equivalent of a hung jury. "Perhaps it'd be best if you wait for Dr. Dex," that was said with a sneer," to figure out the seeding device before you attempt to terraform one of this galaxy's planets."
John did his very best to not punch Cowen in the face, that rat bastard.
Rodney stormed out of the meeting place, deliberately ignoring Teyla, who was radiating smug victory, and shared a look with John, which meant this wasn't over, not by a long shot.
It took three orgasms, three, before Rodney was calm and pleasant enough to broach the topic. "So," John panted, sweaty and working himself toward a sex coma, "what're we gonna do about the Coalition?"
Rodney flopped onto his belly after gamely trying to get up to go to the bathroom for a washcloth and failing. "Donchu worry 'bout tha'. Imma gonna show 'em all."
"'kay," John agreed, and closed his eyes. It could wait. Til the next morning, at the very least.
***
Rodney poked John in the side at 0330, waking him. Sex made things clear to Rodney, so very clear. It also calmed him down long enough to make plans that couldn't fail.
"My dick's broke, go back to sleep," John slurred against his pillow.
Rodney snorted. "I hate to burst your bubble, sweetcheeks, but it isn't your dick I want."
"You're not fuckin' me. Gotta mission t'morrow."
Rolling his eyes, Rodney poked John again. "Don't want your ass either. Well, not now, at least. Get up. We've got work to do."
Rodney whistled to himself as he showered and generously moved to give John room when he blindly wandered in five minutes later.
"This had better be worth it," John said, murder in his heart. John was always pissy if he got less than six hours of sleep after a mini-sex marathon.
Rodney grinned brightly. "It is. It so is."
John kept watch while Rodney snuck the dispersal unit out of the conspicuously empty science cave Ronon practically lived in. Good: Ronon had received the email Rodney'd sent and his reputation for being effective at bribery was still intact.
The walk down to the Puddlejumper bay was hell on his nerves. He was half-expecting Teyla to jump out at them at any minute, waving her sticks at him angrily, but no one bothered them at all. Which he found strange, but he didn't want to jinx himself by thinking about it too hard.
"Where are we headed?" John asked as he piloted the Jumper through the open bay. They'd decided to use the Mainland gate to avoid giving away their plan too quickly.
Rodney thought about it for a moment. "How about M44-5YN?"
"Sounds good, buddy. Dial it up."
When they got to the planet, John put the Jumper on autopilot. Rodney opened the back hatch and looked down at the small field that surrounded the Stargate. He sat, letting his feet dangle over the side. John joined him, sitting on the opposite side of the dispersal unit.
"Are we really doing this?" John asked, and it was a fair question. Teyla, if she found out...when she found out, was going to be furious. And at least three members of the Coalition had threatened war over activating the device. But the benefits...Rodney couldn't ignore them, he couldn't ignore Earth's very immediate needs over a few hurt feelings.
"I think so." Once activated, the device would take about an hour to power up, giving them time to leave. In a week, the only thing that'd look the same would be the Stargate.
John didn't look disapproving, so Rodney didn't see any reason not to, not with so many good reasons to go forward.
Rodney got to his feet. He activated the device, smiling as it glowed blue, and said, "Well, you only get a chance to play god once in your life," and then tossed it down to the planet below.
The end.
**
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