TEAM SPACE: bury the hatchet, "Bury the Hatchet"
Title: Bury the Hatchet
Author: bunbunevil
Team: Space
Prompt: bury the hatchet
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG because I'm paranoid
Word count: 2,200
Warnings: None
Summary: There's a time for diplomacy, or that's what John hears.
Author's Notes: To the awesomest beta who ever did beta.
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the prompt in the header above.
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---
John knew something was badly wrong when the constant low-level buzz of Rodney’s usual monologue (an enumeration of the reasons this is beneath my genius, Chapter the latest) abruptly stopped.
Rodney was gone. Vanished.
Teyla was serenely badass with the elders of the village they’d been leaving, but the village elder with the car salesman smile wants them to wait and see, because probably Rodney had just turned off the path and would be back before long.
Zen elder became a great deal less mellow with Ronon looming over him, Teyla stroking her P-90 in an ominous way, and John, whose hand is opening and closing convulsively over the handle of his sidearm, staring at him through slitted eyes. In fact, the elder now thinks that the situation is far more serious than he initially thought, and he’s demanding to speak to their leader.
---
Rodney is not, to put it mildly, amused.
To put it less mildly, he’s extremely pissed.
He’d been explaining appropriate deployment of his very valuable brain to his team when he’d been snatched. He felt a thick arm wrap around his chest, and looked down to see the glow of an Ancient device wrapped around a meaty wrist. Annoyed and helpless, Rodney watched as his team - who apparently couldn’t see him, even though he was right there - searched for him.
He tried to struggle, but the person holding him did something, and he felt a buzz like electricity against his neck, and the world went away. His last thought before unconsciousness (or, well, his last relevant thought. He was quite often thinking multiple things at once) was to wonder what the universe had against him this week.
When he woke up, he was on the world’s most uncomfortable bed with what felt like the world’s worst hickey. He looked around to take in the small, dark, damp, probably mold-infested cell, at the bars on the small window and the rusting slab holding the straw (seriously, straw. Rodney realized that they really didn’t have prescription mattresses around here, but really?) mattress. He tugged at the bars, and while they creaked alarmingly, they didn’t give, and didn’t look like they were going to. He sat back on the bed and groaned.
Right.
He’s been abducted by at least one person, heavily muscled, possibly with the Ancient gene, and definitely with the use of at least one Ancient artifact.
First priority (as escape seemed unlikely at the moment) is to figure out what his captors wanted him for. Usually, they need him to activate something Ancient, or to fix something Ancient and broken (not likely to work out well for them, since he didn’t have tools or parts, and he’s pretty sure that the morons that took him don't have them either), or to build them something out of bear skins and stone tools.
Rodney rubbed his eyes and groaned. Perfect. In some previous life, he’d clearly kicked a puppy. He hoped it’d been worth it.
He blinked through his fingers as footsteps approached, followed by men in heavy uniforms. Heavy, familiar uniforms.
“Dear lord, it’s you people. I thought we were friendly with the Genii.”
“With Ladon Radim’s Genii, yes, but not with ours.”
“How’s yours different from his?”
His kidnapper (he recognizes the bracelet) strikes a noble revolutionary pose.
“We have the Genii’s true needs in mind.”
“And what exactly do the Genii truly need from me?”
Alpha moron swelled his chest like one of Radek’s pigeons.
“Show respect, Doctor McKay, or you will regret it.”
“My brain doesn’t work if my body’s broken, idiot. If you want something from me, you’re going to have to tell me what it is. Do you understand, or do I need to use shorter words?”
“You will build us a bomb.”
“And what materials will I build you a bomb with?”
“You are not the one who asks the questions here, Doctor.”
“My god, even the geologists aren’t this stupid. I cannot build a bomb without tools and materials. If you want me to build a bomb, I will have to be where the tools and materials are. How about we skip the foreplay and you take me there.”
---
“This is going to take some time.”
It didn’t take long for Rodney to sift through the pile of Ancient tech. Most of it was broken, or needed to be recharged, but he could work with that. In the meantime, he could use the still charged stuff to figure a way out of this place.
“How much time?”
“Not sure.” He moved over to a computer, which came to glowing life at his touch. From the startled noises behind him, he guessed that while they might have activated tech, they had no-one with the gene, or at least not a gene strong enough to activate anything. That definitely gave him an edge, especially if he got that wristband.
The screen beeped. “But I can’t start building anything without breaking in to the computer system first.”
“Explain that to me, Doctor.”
Rodney heaved his ‘What is it like not being me? It must be so peaceful’ sigh, the one that he uses with military types and new arrivals. Though, now he thought of it, he never had to use it much with John. John learned fast. And Rodney had the distinct impression that John was a lot smarter than he led others to believe.
His Genii friend here, on the other hand, is not a candidate for Mensa.
“If someone locks a door, to open it you either need the key or you need to break the lock, right?” There were nods. “Well, someone locked the computer. I need to either get the key, or break in.”
“That will take no time at all.” Tall, dark and troglodyte lifted his gun, and scowled when Rodney got in front of it.
“No, no, we won’t be shooting the computer. What we want is not a physical object inside the machine. What we want is the data stored in the machine, which will go bye bye if we shoot the machine. I know the Genii have computers. How do you not know this?”
“We do not need to know how to work the Ancient machines. We only need to have someone who does know at our mercy.”
“So you have a base that’s run completely by machines that you can’t control. Smart.”
A muscle in bully boy’s face twitched, and Rodney consciously loosened up his muscles. He recognized that expression. That was a face he knew well from high school, when it meant that the jocks had enough of being mocked, and were about to move the fight to their battlefield.
He passed out thinking about all the damage his team was going to do when they came for him.
---
John would have been furious no matter which of his team had been taken. It was pretty clear to him, though, that he was particularly enraged that someone took Rodney.
John has always been elastic about his sexuality, though he reined himself in once he joined the Air Force. However, the fact that he may, theoretically, have feelings for Rodney McKay confuses the crap out of him.
Rodney isn’t his type. Like, really not his type. His type has dark hair, blue eyes, a great ass, a personality that complemented his own...
Fine. So maybe McKay was his type. Whatever. John doesn’t do feelings.
What he does do was make people who took his scientist pay for it.
---
Woolsey came through the gate to take over negotiations, leaving the team free to radiate menace at all the locals they encountered.
Not that they were trying (well, John and Teyla weren’t trying. Ronon kind of was). John was working hard at not going back into the hall and beating some helpfulness into the village elder. Teyla was on point just in case John needed some assistance not going back into the hall and beating some helpfulness into the village elder.
Eventually, Woolsey called them back for an update.
“They’re saying that a Genii faction and those they recruited on this planet are responsible for the kidnapping. The Genii have a cache of Ancient tech, but they don’t have the gene or the technical skills to use it. Dr. McKay apparently has quite a reputation among the Genii. They came to this planet specifically to get their hands on him. We believe we know where he’s being held.”
Maybe diplomats had their uses sometimes.
---
John’s ready to to go in, guns blazing, but Woolsey thinks they should try to make peace with the Genii, which reminds John why he didn’t like diplomats all over again.
And then he gets an idea.
Under John’s best death glare, his least favorite elder draws them crude blue prints of the bunker, and finds it on a map for them. John uses it to fly his team and a bunch of pissed-off marines, cloaked, to the place where a service tunnel comes out. From that close, they can make out Rodney’s subcutaneous transmitter in a room close to the surface, and Ronon and Teyla make short work of the guards (although they don’t want to alert the Genii by blowing up the door, so the locks take a little longer).
Ronon and Teyla report that they can see Rodney through a small, barred window, and he’s hurt. They don’t know how badly. John sends a drone into an access tunnel on the opposite side of the bunker which isn’t showing life signs..
It doesn’t take long for a stream of Genii to leave the complex. Ronon stuns them as they come out, which John thinks he can convince Woolsey is a peaceful resolution.
There’s one last life sign nearing their position, but Ronon and Teyla can’t see anyone. John can’t either, but he can sense the ancient tech, so he hovers close to the exit and thinks it off. Thuggish guard becomes visible like a light going on. Teyla beats him broken, but in that growthful way she has. Afterwards, Ronon stuns him a lot, just in case.
---
Half the Marines go back with the captives, while the others, who John made sure did not have the ancient gene, spread through the building, packing up ancient tech, and not gettng any closer to Genii weapons than they have to. There’s quite a stockpile of them hidden in the tunnels of the bunker.
---
John goes after Rodney.
Rodney’s awake. His face is bruised, and he’s pinching his bleeding nose, head tilted back, eyes closed. He’s sending a steady stream of complaints at the ceiling.
Relief floods John. Everything must be right with the world if McKay’s bitching.
“...no idea what blew up, but clearly these are not optimal conditions for bomb making, assuming that you want your bomb to wait until you drop it on someone else to blow up. Besides I’m pretty sure I have a concussion, and I don’t do my best work when...”
“I don’t know, Rodney.” Sheppard says. “You don’t sound any different than usual to me.”
Rodney’s eyes shoot open, and he stares at John silently for about 30 seconds, his mouth slanting down, before launching into a full-bore rant, which ranges from asking what took them so long to bitching about the declining quality of abductors in the Pegasus galaxy.
John can’t help smiling, but he makes it look like a smirk.
---
When they get back to Atlantis, Rodney goes straight to the infirmary, and John tails along after him, just in case. Eventually, though, they can’t put it off any longer, and they have to debrief with Woolsey.
After the meeting is over, John has to stay behind to talk to Woolsey.
“See, Colonel, that wasn’t so hard, was it.”
“Sir.”
“We brought things to a peaceful end. We have a whole treasure trove of Ancient artifacts, and Ladon is very happy with us for bringing in his runaways. We buried the hatchet with one swift stroke.”
“Yes, sir.”
"He did ask about the whereabouts of a piece of ancient jewelry he said that the rebels stole from him, but I told him you didn't report seeing it."
"No, sir. It must have just disappeared."
Woolsey shoots a sharp look at him.
“It was, of course, unfortunate that the drone blast destabilized the bunker and it collapsed on the stockpile of Genii weapons.”
“I’m just happy,” and John looks really, really sincere, “that no-one got hurt. That might have complicated the hatchet burying festivities”
There's a long, awkward pause before Woolsey lets him escape.
Rodney's waiting for him at Chuck’s desk, eyebrow raised.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing. Dinner?”
“Why not.”
---
John decided while he didn’t have Rodney that continuing not to have Rodney was not an option.
Rodney, who was surprised to discover when he and Jennifer went their separate ways that hanging out with John was just as good, now thinks that the sex is even better, and heartily endorses this decision.
Besides, John got him a really cool bracelet, and guys who know how to use C4 are totally hot.
**
Poll
Author: bunbunevil
Team: Space
Prompt: bury the hatchet
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG because I'm paranoid
Word count: 2,200
Warnings: None
Summary: There's a time for diplomacy, or that's what John hears.
Author's Notes: To the awesomest beta who ever did beta.
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the prompt in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
---
John knew something was badly wrong when the constant low-level buzz of Rodney’s usual monologue (an enumeration of the reasons this is beneath my genius, Chapter the latest) abruptly stopped.
Rodney was gone. Vanished.
Teyla was serenely badass with the elders of the village they’d been leaving, but the village elder with the car salesman smile wants them to wait and see, because probably Rodney had just turned off the path and would be back before long.
Zen elder became a great deal less mellow with Ronon looming over him, Teyla stroking her P-90 in an ominous way, and John, whose hand is opening and closing convulsively over the handle of his sidearm, staring at him through slitted eyes. In fact, the elder now thinks that the situation is far more serious than he initially thought, and he’s demanding to speak to their leader.
---
Rodney is not, to put it mildly, amused.
To put it less mildly, he’s extremely pissed.
He’d been explaining appropriate deployment of his very valuable brain to his team when he’d been snatched. He felt a thick arm wrap around his chest, and looked down to see the glow of an Ancient device wrapped around a meaty wrist. Annoyed and helpless, Rodney watched as his team - who apparently couldn’t see him, even though he was right there - searched for him.
He tried to struggle, but the person holding him did something, and he felt a buzz like electricity against his neck, and the world went away. His last thought before unconsciousness (or, well, his last relevant thought. He was quite often thinking multiple things at once) was to wonder what the universe had against him this week.
When he woke up, he was on the world’s most uncomfortable bed with what felt like the world’s worst hickey. He looked around to take in the small, dark, damp, probably mold-infested cell, at the bars on the small window and the rusting slab holding the straw (seriously, straw. Rodney realized that they really didn’t have prescription mattresses around here, but really?) mattress. He tugged at the bars, and while they creaked alarmingly, they didn’t give, and didn’t look like they were going to. He sat back on the bed and groaned.
Right.
He’s been abducted by at least one person, heavily muscled, possibly with the Ancient gene, and definitely with the use of at least one Ancient artifact.
First priority (as escape seemed unlikely at the moment) is to figure out what his captors wanted him for. Usually, they need him to activate something Ancient, or to fix something Ancient and broken (not likely to work out well for them, since he didn’t have tools or parts, and he’s pretty sure that the morons that took him don't have them either), or to build them something out of bear skins and stone tools.
Rodney rubbed his eyes and groaned. Perfect. In some previous life, he’d clearly kicked a puppy. He hoped it’d been worth it.
He blinked through his fingers as footsteps approached, followed by men in heavy uniforms. Heavy, familiar uniforms.
“Dear lord, it’s you people. I thought we were friendly with the Genii.”
“With Ladon Radim’s Genii, yes, but not with ours.”
“How’s yours different from his?”
His kidnapper (he recognizes the bracelet) strikes a noble revolutionary pose.
“We have the Genii’s true needs in mind.”
“And what exactly do the Genii truly need from me?”
Alpha moron swelled his chest like one of Radek’s pigeons.
“Show respect, Doctor McKay, or you will regret it.”
“My brain doesn’t work if my body’s broken, idiot. If you want something from me, you’re going to have to tell me what it is. Do you understand, or do I need to use shorter words?”
“You will build us a bomb.”
“And what materials will I build you a bomb with?”
“You are not the one who asks the questions here, Doctor.”
“My god, even the geologists aren’t this stupid. I cannot build a bomb without tools and materials. If you want me to build a bomb, I will have to be where the tools and materials are. How about we skip the foreplay and you take me there.”
---
“This is going to take some time.”
It didn’t take long for Rodney to sift through the pile of Ancient tech. Most of it was broken, or needed to be recharged, but he could work with that. In the meantime, he could use the still charged stuff to figure a way out of this place.
“How much time?”
“Not sure.” He moved over to a computer, which came to glowing life at his touch. From the startled noises behind him, he guessed that while they might have activated tech, they had no-one with the gene, or at least not a gene strong enough to activate anything. That definitely gave him an edge, especially if he got that wristband.
The screen beeped. “But I can’t start building anything without breaking in to the computer system first.”
“Explain that to me, Doctor.”
Rodney heaved his ‘What is it like not being me? It must be so peaceful’ sigh, the one that he uses with military types and new arrivals. Though, now he thought of it, he never had to use it much with John. John learned fast. And Rodney had the distinct impression that John was a lot smarter than he led others to believe.
His Genii friend here, on the other hand, is not a candidate for Mensa.
“If someone locks a door, to open it you either need the key or you need to break the lock, right?” There were nods. “Well, someone locked the computer. I need to either get the key, or break in.”
“That will take no time at all.” Tall, dark and troglodyte lifted his gun, and scowled when Rodney got in front of it.
“No, no, we won’t be shooting the computer. What we want is not a physical object inside the machine. What we want is the data stored in the machine, which will go bye bye if we shoot the machine. I know the Genii have computers. How do you not know this?”
“We do not need to know how to work the Ancient machines. We only need to have someone who does know at our mercy.”
“So you have a base that’s run completely by machines that you can’t control. Smart.”
A muscle in bully boy’s face twitched, and Rodney consciously loosened up his muscles. He recognized that expression. That was a face he knew well from high school, when it meant that the jocks had enough of being mocked, and were about to move the fight to their battlefield.
He passed out thinking about all the damage his team was going to do when they came for him.
---
John would have been furious no matter which of his team had been taken. It was pretty clear to him, though, that he was particularly enraged that someone took Rodney.
John has always been elastic about his sexuality, though he reined himself in once he joined the Air Force. However, the fact that he may, theoretically, have feelings for Rodney McKay confuses the crap out of him.
Rodney isn’t his type. Like, really not his type. His type has dark hair, blue eyes, a great ass, a personality that complemented his own...
Fine. So maybe McKay was his type. Whatever. John doesn’t do feelings.
What he does do was make people who took his scientist pay for it.
---
Woolsey came through the gate to take over negotiations, leaving the team free to radiate menace at all the locals they encountered.
Not that they were trying (well, John and Teyla weren’t trying. Ronon kind of was). John was working hard at not going back into the hall and beating some helpfulness into the village elder. Teyla was on point just in case John needed some assistance not going back into the hall and beating some helpfulness into the village elder.
Eventually, Woolsey called them back for an update.
“They’re saying that a Genii faction and those they recruited on this planet are responsible for the kidnapping. The Genii have a cache of Ancient tech, but they don’t have the gene or the technical skills to use it. Dr. McKay apparently has quite a reputation among the Genii. They came to this planet specifically to get their hands on him. We believe we know where he’s being held.”
Maybe diplomats had their uses sometimes.
---
John’s ready to to go in, guns blazing, but Woolsey thinks they should try to make peace with the Genii, which reminds John why he didn’t like diplomats all over again.
And then he gets an idea.
Under John’s best death glare, his least favorite elder draws them crude blue prints of the bunker, and finds it on a map for them. John uses it to fly his team and a bunch of pissed-off marines, cloaked, to the place where a service tunnel comes out. From that close, they can make out Rodney’s subcutaneous transmitter in a room close to the surface, and Ronon and Teyla make short work of the guards (although they don’t want to alert the Genii by blowing up the door, so the locks take a little longer).
Ronon and Teyla report that they can see Rodney through a small, barred window, and he’s hurt. They don’t know how badly. John sends a drone into an access tunnel on the opposite side of the bunker which isn’t showing life signs..
It doesn’t take long for a stream of Genii to leave the complex. Ronon stuns them as they come out, which John thinks he can convince Woolsey is a peaceful resolution.
There’s one last life sign nearing their position, but Ronon and Teyla can’t see anyone. John can’t either, but he can sense the ancient tech, so he hovers close to the exit and thinks it off. Thuggish guard becomes visible like a light going on. Teyla beats him broken, but in that growthful way she has. Afterwards, Ronon stuns him a lot, just in case.
---
Half the Marines go back with the captives, while the others, who John made sure did not have the ancient gene, spread through the building, packing up ancient tech, and not gettng any closer to Genii weapons than they have to. There’s quite a stockpile of them hidden in the tunnels of the bunker.
---
John goes after Rodney.
Rodney’s awake. His face is bruised, and he’s pinching his bleeding nose, head tilted back, eyes closed. He’s sending a steady stream of complaints at the ceiling.
Relief floods John. Everything must be right with the world if McKay’s bitching.
“...no idea what blew up, but clearly these are not optimal conditions for bomb making, assuming that you want your bomb to wait until you drop it on someone else to blow up. Besides I’m pretty sure I have a concussion, and I don’t do my best work when...”
“I don’t know, Rodney.” Sheppard says. “You don’t sound any different than usual to me.”
Rodney’s eyes shoot open, and he stares at John silently for about 30 seconds, his mouth slanting down, before launching into a full-bore rant, which ranges from asking what took them so long to bitching about the declining quality of abductors in the Pegasus galaxy.
John can’t help smiling, but he makes it look like a smirk.
---
When they get back to Atlantis, Rodney goes straight to the infirmary, and John tails along after him, just in case. Eventually, though, they can’t put it off any longer, and they have to debrief with Woolsey.
After the meeting is over, John has to stay behind to talk to Woolsey.
“See, Colonel, that wasn’t so hard, was it.”
“Sir.”
“We brought things to a peaceful end. We have a whole treasure trove of Ancient artifacts, and Ladon is very happy with us for bringing in his runaways. We buried the hatchet with one swift stroke.”
“Yes, sir.”
"He did ask about the whereabouts of a piece of ancient jewelry he said that the rebels stole from him, but I told him you didn't report seeing it."
"No, sir. It must have just disappeared."
Woolsey shoots a sharp look at him.
“It was, of course, unfortunate that the drone blast destabilized the bunker and it collapsed on the stockpile of Genii weapons.”
“I’m just happy,” and John looks really, really sincere, “that no-one got hurt. That might have complicated the hatchet burying festivities”
There's a long, awkward pause before Woolsey lets him escape.
Rodney's waiting for him at Chuck’s desk, eyebrow raised.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing. Dinner?”
“Why not.”
---
John decided while he didn’t have Rodney that continuing not to have Rodney was not an option.
Rodney, who was surprised to discover when he and Jennifer went their separate ways that hanging out with John was just as good, now thinks that the sex is even better, and heartily endorses this decision.
Besides, John got him a really cool bracelet, and guys who know how to use C4 are totally hot.
**
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