TEAM TIME: close quarters, "Unable to run, unable to hide"
Title: Unable to run, unable to hide
Author: velocitygrass
Team: Time
Prompt: close quarters
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 9,159
Warnings: none of the standard warnings apply
Summary: John and Rodney are stuck in a cell together. Boredom leads to sexual distraction, which leads to the question of what exactly they're doing.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to that_which and flitter_and_fly for the beta!
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**
John almost wished for guards to storm in and threaten them. It wouldn't matter why as long as it would break up the horrible monotony of the four walls that held them.
Having Rodney with him didn't help at all. Especially when he went on another rant about their situation.
"I could be useful out there. My sensor didn't display anything even remotely as potent as the doomsday device in their caves. It's physically not possible for me to do the same damage. Not that I did any damage at all. It was a malfunction in the horribly designed machine, which nobody could have foreseen. Even they know that. They've acknowledged that I couldn't have known what would happen. And still they insist on keeping us locked up. It's barbaric!"
"You blew up their entire planet," John reminded him.
"I did no such thing!" Rodney said, getting red in the face.
John felt only slightly bad for riling him up on purpose. At least it was vaguely entertaining.
Rodney continued without pause. "It was the stupid Ancient who thought it would be a good idea to leave that machine lying around on a populated planet, fully armed. It's like the universe's most horrible land mine."
"Cave mine," John piped up.
"It was a death trap for the whole planet! And if it hadn't been for me, we wouldn't even have known. They would have gone on with their merry lives, not minding the little light show at the caves, until boom the next thing they know is nothing at all because they're all dead."
"Yeah, they should be much more grateful for saving them after blowing up their planet," John said drily.
Rodney glared at him. "You're doing this on purpose," he said, wagging a finger at John.
John only raised his eyebrows and smirked.
"You think this is funny?" Rodney asked acidly. "We've been stuck here for four days, and it will be at least two more weeks of this, maybe a lot more if the Daedalus doesn't make an immediate return trip. They're imprisoning innocent men!"
John had to bite his lip. This suddenly wasn't funny anymore. He was getting sick and tired of Rodney's attitude. Normally, he'd just turn and walk away. Go for a jog or train with Ronon. But he was stuck in this cell with Rodney, who was handling the whole situation with his usual grace-which was to say none at all.
"Such an injustice is hardly the way to start a new life on another planet," Rodney went on. "We were only trying to help. It could have been a ZPM factory, from the energy readings. They should be thanking us."
"For what!" John got up and shouted. Rodney took a step back, clearly surprised by John's sudden explosion. "We came to their planet and now it's gone! Why should they care about the reason? And just in case you still didn't get this. We destroyed their whole planet. This isn't one of those moments where we violated a pointless archaic native rule that we couldn't possibly have known about and they're trying to kill us. We destroyed their fucking planet, forcing them to relocate, and now they simply locked us away for the time because they're kind of busy rebuilding their whole life. Because we destroyed their planet. And you can't stop complaining about the 'injustice' of being served food three times a day in a cozy room with running water after WE DESTROYED THEIR PLANET." John shouted the last directly in Rodney's face.
Rodney lifted his chin, the corners of his mouth turned down.
John turned away and sat back down on his bed. He took one of the sheets of paper they'd provided them with and a pencil and started creating another Sudoku puzzle.
~~
John set aside the completed Sudoku, feeling a lot calmer. He risked a glance at Rodney, who was watching him.
After a moment, Rodney stood up from his bed and sat down next to John. "It's going to be fine," he said. It sounded slightly awkward but he looked eager to help. "Once the Daedalus returns, Atlantis will let them know that the explosion damaged the gate on this planet and they'll beam us out of here."
John didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "I know that," he said, pouting just a bit.
"Well, it seemed as if you could use the reminder," Rodney said, apparently trying to be diplomatic.
"You know, nothing I yelled at you was untrue," John said.
"Be that as it may, I can count the times that you've shouted at me like that when we weren't in a life or death situation on...no hand, so I think it's fair to say that our situation has made both of us a bit...tense."
Which was an understatement, but there was nothing either of them could do about it.
~~
John held out for five days in their prison before he caved and masturbated in the shower as quietly as he could-which was very quiet thanks to his decades in service.
It wasn't that he couldn't go without jerking off, but right now he had absolutely nothing to distract him and it didn't help at all to have Rodney around him 24/7. After John's little outburst, Rodney had cut down the complaints about how they were treated-which was really exemplary, all things considered. And John hadn't really been angry at him in the first place. He still thought Rodney had been unreasonable, but that was simply how Rodney got in certain situations, and usually John was only mildly annoyed.
Being unable to run-for excercise or to get a way-had set John on edge, though. He was feeling a bit better after venting at Rodney and his reaction, but he was still bored out of his skull. After stopping the constant complaining, Rodney was using the time more productively by working, filling the sheets of paper with diagrams and calculations.
But John had little more to do than watch Rodney think, stretch, sleep, and listen to him shower, where he was naked, just a few feet away, with nothing but a thin wooden board between them.
Five days of that were enough, so John took his cock in hand and tried to do a quick job of it and not think about Rodney. He managed the former, failed on the latter, but at least he'd gotten it out of his system for the moment, and he didn't think he'd been loud enough for Rodney to notice, if he was even awake already.
John turned off the shower and got into the second set of clothes they'd provided them with to wear in turns with their own ones while they were being washed. He mused that it was strange that Rodney had been holding out longer than John. Rodney had never struck him as the self-denying type, but John hadn't heard him masturbate even once, and his ears knew what to listen for.
Maybe being held in the cell was stressful enough for Rodney to not even think about it. Though he didn't seem genuinely concerned. His mood had just been at a higher level of annoyance, and even that had lessened after John's outburst, so maybe Rodney had taken to heart that they really didn't have a reason to complain.
When he stepped out of the little shower corner, John found Rodney looking sleepy but awake. Which was another thing about sharing the cell with him. John wasn't sure if it was a good thing to be exposed to such-frankly adorable, not that he'd ever admit that-sights.
Rodney scratched his head, then looked at John but didn't say anything.
"Shower's free if you want," John said unnecessarily. It wasn't as if there could be anyone else occupying it.
"Yeah, I... Actually, I think we should talk about...needs," Rodney said, flushing slightly.
John hoped he wasn't flushing too. He wasn't sure if Rodney had heard him, or if it was simply coincidence that he couldn't hold out longer either. No matter which it was, John wished he just would have done what guys did in such a situation. Do it as inconspicuously as possible and ignore it when they do notice what their roommate is doing. "Shower," he suggested quickly since Rodney apparently needed to discuss this.
"No, I meant...other needs," Rodney said, giving John a look.
Now John was sure he was flushing, but he couldn't help it. "Yes, I know. I meant you could...in the shower," he said, hoping fervently that Rodney didn't need it spelled out. The horny side of his brain added, 'or need help achieving it.' It was a good thing he'd just come.
"Oh, you..." Rodney said, looking at the shower corner. "Really? I didn't hear a thing, and I listened because I was waiting for you to finish."
John really, really tried not to think about that. Thankfully, Rodney continued.
"I, uh, prefer lying in bed," he said. "You could...pretend not to hear me."
"Rodney, I've been in the military most of my life. I wasn't going to say anything," John told him.
"Well, I'm not as well versed in masturbation etiquette," Rodney said. "It wasn't really an issue for me. My first roommate at university was mostly out anyway and with the second...that wasn't an issue." He flushed, turned around, and pulled the covers right up to his neck.
John wasn't sure what exactly Rodney was saying. Had he masturbated with the second roommate? Or just liked to watch? It had to be something other than the guy simply not jerking off in bed if Rodney's flushed face was anything to go by. Which was...well, not completely surprising. John remembered moments where Rodney had reacted to some of the more revealing outfits of female and male natives or a set of statues that resembled gay erotic art. He had never said anything even though he clearly didn't have a problem talking about the various real and fantasized relationships with women, so John hadn't been sure what to make of it even if Rodney's behavior had struck him as not exactly that of a straight guy.
Rodney also hadn't said anything when John had come out to the team. He'd seemed surprised though John felt that it had been more about John revealing something personal rather than the fact that he identified-for the most part-as gay. Rodney had been supportive enough after the initial surprise. He'd smiled at John. Teyla had squeezed John's hand, and Ronon had given him an "I knew that" look. But Rodney had never said anything to John about it, either that day or later.
Not that there'd been occasion to do so. John still didn't like to talk about such things, and it couldn't even come in the form of John's dates because he didn't do that. All of the military personnel was off limits to him, and even with scientists things could get awkward after breaking up in a closed environment such at Atlantis. Rodney and Keller seemed to handle it pretty well, but they'd also noticeably seen less of each other after their split.
Rodney began to move under his cover, and John didn't know what to do because even though he wanted to watch-hell, because he wanted to watch-he definitely shouldn't if he didn't want to drive himself up the wall for the rest of their captivity.
"I guess I could shower again," he said, getting up to do just that, but Rodney stopped him.
"Don't be ridiculous. You just came out of it," he said. "Why don't you go work on your Sudoku? The last one was way too easy."
John huffed and picked up the paper with his last creation. He drew a new square and divided it into more sub-squares while in the other bed Rodney started to make noises.
He wasn't moaning or anything, but the way he breathed seemed different to John. And it didn't help that he could see Rodney's arm moving out of the corner of his eye. John turned his head, so that Rodney was completely out of his sight, but that didn't solve the problem of being able to hear him.
John could hear every hitch in Rodney's breath. He tried not to listen, but it was impossible. He heard every movement on the bed, the rustling of the cover, the skin on skin. But the worst was Rodney's breathing. It was more labored now, like he'd been forced to run, though the breaths weren't as frequent as when he was gasping for air. He was taking long deep breaths, and when there were tiny little noises added to the breathing, John had to swallow.
Apparently it didn't matter that he'd just jerked off in the shower. John was getting hard.
Rodney kept going, his movement speeding up, his breathing becoming heavier and more ragged.
John was sitting stock still, failing badly at ignoring Rodney. He pictured in frightening detail what Rodney's face looked like right now and where exactly his hand was on his cock. Was he leaking already? Was he also fondling his balls? Or did he like both hands on his cock? Was his mouth open as he made those noises?
Instead of answering his silent questions, Rodney suddenly stopped.
John wasn't sure if he was coming. It didn't sound like it. He didn't make any noise or fall back on the bed. John couldn't hear anything at all.
"You're not even breathing," Rodney suddenly said.
John exhaled. "Sorry," he said, feeling embarrassed at being caught listening even if he'd tried not to look at least. "I'll just go take that shower." He swung his legs down and got up when Rodney turned around, his gaze quickly focusing on the bulge in John's pants.
"I thought you were used to this," Rodney said.
Other guys masturbating, sure. But not Rodney masturbating. And making those noises. Of course John didn't tell Rodney that. He felt himself flush.
"This is ridiculous. I feel like we're in a bad porn movie," Rodney said.
John snorted.
"You'd be John Shepphard and I'd be Rod McKay."
"And I'd say, 'If you can't get off by yourself, I'll make you come,'" John said, voice getting deep and rough for the fake porn dialog.
Rodney blinked, then flushed and turned around again. His arm started to move again, rapidly shifting, and when he started making those noises again, John had to bite down a groan. Rodney wasn't just beating off now. He was trying to come with John's words on his mind, which was a head-trip. John had very much tried not to wonder if Rodney was thinking about anyone in particular, but after Rodney's obvious reaction to his words he couldn't help thinking that it was him.
Rodney was jerking off thinking about John. And John couldn't look away or stop listening.
The noises became louder, like a soft whine coming from deep within, and then Rodney's whole body froze and he jerked, throwing his head back, face contorted in pleasure.
Jesus Christ. John was sure that if he hadn't just masturbated in the shower, simply watching Rodney climax would have been enough to make him come in his pants. As it was he only felt uncomfortably tight in his pants. He watched Rodney panting on the bed, but then became self-conscious and went into the bathroom corner of their cell. He got a few sheets of toilet paper then came back out and dropped them on Rodney before sitting back down gingerly.
"Thank you," Rodney said, still breathing hard. He took the toilet paper and his hand disappeared under the cover. When he was done, he turned to John, gaze searching out his crotch. "You didn't..."
"I'm fine," John said dismissively. Which was true. His dick would go down eventually. How John would do for another two weeks alone with Rodney in this cell was another matter.
~~
John had climbed up the sink to be able to look out the small window at the top of their cell. Unfortunately this was the back side of the prison, which was built directly near the mountain ridge, so the view consisted of a rock wall and a few trees to the left. They were evergreens and not particularly interesting ones. There weren't even native wild flowers or weeds, let alone animals that might have been more entertaining to watch than his thorough examination of the rock wall. John sighed.
He turned around, "There's not ev-" and stopped abruptly when he saw that Rodney was completely under the covers, on the side, arm conspicuously in front of him.
"Do you do that on purpose?" Rodney asked annoyed.
"Oh, yeah, McKay, it's my goal in life to keep you from jacking off," John said, trying to lay on the sarcasm even as his pants tightened.
"Nah," Rodney said dismissively. "You're too lazy to be a sadist."
"Who says you can't be a lazy sadist?" John said. "You just need authority."
"Uhuh," Rodney said, turning enough to roll his eyes at John.
"You don't think I could?" John asked. "I'd say, 'Hands off, your dick is mine!' and-"
"Jesus," Rodney interrupted him, turning back around. His arm started moving again.
And so did John's mind. Once had been bad enough, but the idea that a simple order could get Rodney so hot and bothered was an incredible turn on. John wasn't sure if this was a thing for Rodney, that he got off on verbal stimulation, or if it was what John said-and how-in particular. In any case, it very obviously wasn't a problem for Rodney that it had been John who'd said those words and who was in the same room, watching him quite shamelessly from his vantage point.
Rodney squirmed and pistoned his arm up and down, making those noises again. They seemed louder than before. John wasn't sure if it was his imagination or if Rodney simply didn't care since John knew what he was doing anyway.
Either way it was an incredible turn on, and John shifted in his uniform but didn't touch himself. He watched in rapt attention, his own breathing speeding up slightly as Rodney got even louder and started moving more, the cover shifting down enough that John could see the vague form of a fist in the shadow and peaking through-
Rodney groaned loudly as he came, and John could have sworn he actually saw his come spurting out of his cock for a second.
They were both breathing heavily. John was incredibly hard, but he wasn't going to do anything about it. Certainly not while balanced on the sink. He jumped down, wincing as he landed, and distracted himself by picking up two sheets of toilet paper for Rodney.
"I've got some," Rodney said. "But thanks." He looked at John's tented crotch. "You could use them yourself."
"I'm good," John said. "And actually, we might wanna cut down on the toilet paper. I'm not sure however it was produced is working again." The planet that their...hosts had relocated to had been culled thirty years ago, so the buildings and facilities still stood, but it didn't mean that everything was fully functioning and supplying the population had to take first priority.
"If this were porn, one of us would offer ways to deal with the spunk now," Rodney said, grinning. He looked flushed and satiated, and if John's mind had moved away from what had just happened for a moment, it was now fully back on track.
"And if it were a continuation from the scene before, I'd tell you to suck my dick to show your gratitude for making you come," John said, voice rough.
"Damn, you're good at this dirty talk," Rodney said.
"Actually, not," John said truthfully. "I don't really talk much during..." He made a gesture with his hand.
"Maybe a natural then," Rodney said.
"Nah, you're just easily excited," John teased him.
Rodney huffed.
~~
The planet had a particularly bright moon. Or maybe it had even more than one. On a cloudless night, the moonlight coming through the little window was enough to tinge the room in soft blue light.
John was feeling restless. He'd done some exercises in the little space they had, but it was only in part about moving. He just couldn't get away. Rodney was never more than ten feet away from him, and as much as he liked spending time with Rodney in general, being forced together 24/7 was in some ways exhausting.
Part of that was simply the inability to be alone. He valued time where he could remove himself from the presence of other people and not have to think at all about how or whether to interact. Another part was being with Rodney in particular.
In some ways it was great. Earlier that day they had a healthy discussion about the various merits of mythical creatures. Rodney refused to concede that being able to fly was way cooler than shapeshifting (into non-flying things). It lasted for hours, which was a good thing considering their predicament.
John couldn't imagine having such a discussion with anyone else.
On the other hand John sometimes felt the strain of having to watch himself around Rodney. With not much else to do he found himself just taking in Rodney. The way his hands moved even when he was just thinking. The way he stretched to loosen his muscles. The way his shirt rode up when he leaned forward to write his notes.
And those were just the minor things. There was also listening to Rodney showering, knowing that he was naked at that moment, and of course, the masturbation. The latter was surprisingly not as hard to deal with because John's reaction to that was pretty natural.
But some part of him was afraid that Rodney might catch him looking some day and see something that he wasn't supposed to see. John felt self-conscious about that sometimes, like that morning in the shower. He hadn't even jerked off because he remembered that Rodney had told him he'd listened the first time, and even if he hadn't heard anything, what if he did now?
Having watched Rodney masturbate-several times-didn't make John any more comfortable with doing the same. But at the same time it fed his imagination, and he really wanted to jerk off.
John looked over at Rodney's bed. Rodney had his eyes closed. John wasn't certain if he was asleep, but he didn't want to hold back any longer. Besides, he was still going to try to not make any noises.
He turned his back to Rodney and slipped his hand into his boxers. His dick was already beginning to fill, obviously willing and eager to take this chance at some action. John pushed his boxers down enough to free his cock, wincing slightly at the noise that made. He held his breath, listening to any change from the other side of the cell, but Rodney's breathing continued as before.
John started to stroke his dick, trying to minimize his movements. He replayed Rodney masturbating in his head, particularly the moments when he climaxed and the moment that might or might not have been a glimpse of his dick shooting his spunk.
John forced himself to keep his breathing even while he jerked himself off with long firm strokes. What he really wanted was hard and fast with his whole body getting into the action, but that would have to wait until the next shower. He simply hoped that he'd be able to forget that Rodney might be listening because trying to be completely quiet was torture.
He bit his lip, squeezing around the head of his cock, teasing the spot on the underside, and spreading the pre-come around when it first appeared.
This was fucking hard. He'd never cared as much about staying quiet in his bunk. It wasn't as if the others in the barracks hadn't been doing the same. Hell, Rodney had done the same, and still John found it impossible to just let go.
"So quiet," Rodney's whispered voice floated to him.
John froze. Then he abruptly turned around to look at Rodney.
Rodney looked at him, gaze flicking down John's body and back to his face. John still had his hand around his dick. He wanted so badly to just close his eyes and do this, but his hand remained firm but unmoving on his cock.
"I can help," Rodney said quietly.
God. Rodney couldn't be- They weren't- Jerking off in the presence of someone else in enforced proximity was one thing. But actually touching... So far John had managed to convince himself that this was nothing, and once they'd be back in Atlantis they'd look back on this as that really long sucky mission with room service in the cell-and the masturbation would never be mentioned or thought of again, except in John's private fantasies if he didn't rein them in.
But this wasn't just jerking off. This wasn't just doing what every guy did even if they usually preferred privacy. In particular this wasn't the kind of thing that John could simply brush off with, "It doesn't mean that he's interested in guys." And being able to do that would make it so much easier not to think about it.
Rodney moved back his cover and sat up. "You don't have to say anything," he offered. He stood up. "You don't have to ask or say yes if you can't."
John felt his body vibrating with the effort not to move or speak. He wanted...he just wanted. So badly.
"Just give me a sign if you want me to stop," Rodney said, taking a step forward and then kneeling down.
John didn't move a muscle. He didn't even breathe or blink.
"Okay," Rodney said and pulled back John's cover.
John wondered for a moment what exactly Rodney had planned and then his hand was gently removed from his dick and Rodney took him in his mouth, sucking him deep as if he'd wanted to do that forever.
There wasn't much thinking after that until John came and came down Rodney's throat and fell asleep as soon as Rodney had tucked him in again.
~~
John woke early the next day. Whatever uncertainty he'd had about Rodney being into guys was gone.
There was no way that John's cock had been the first that Rodney had sucked. But the fact that Rodney sucked cock-including John's-didn't change anything about their relationship. At least it didn't have to, and John would do well not to get his hopes up.
John took a quick shower. He didn't masturbate, though his mind flashed to the previous night for a moment. The moonlight had brightened the room enough for John to remember the sight of Rodney's lips wrapped around his cock.
When he stepped out of the bathroom corner of their cell, John found Rodney watching him from the bed.
"Shower's free," John said.
Rodney didn't say anything. Instead he placed his hand under the cover, his eyes not leaving John's.
John swallowed. He watched Rodney's hand move under the cover, leaving no doubt to what Rodney was doing. John didn't move or look away. Rodney kept stroking himself, gaze still on John. When he shifted, the cover slipped down as if in invitation.
John didn't know whether it had been an accident or deliberate, but Rodney certainly hadn't intended to hide what he was doing from John, so John took a step towards him. When Rodney's gaze dipped to John's mouth and he moved again, pushing the cover even lower, John took it for the request that it was.
He dropped down to his knees and slowly pulled back the cover, leaving Rodney enough time to stop him, should he want to.
Rodney let John uncover him completely. His dick was hard and red, his grip around it tight.
John moved a hand to Rodney's wrist and gently tugged it away, letting his own take its place. He didn't grip Rodney's dick as tightly, though. He simply held it, stroking it softly. When he looked up, John saw Rodney's eyes on him. His lips were slightly parted.
They stayed like that until Rodney said, "John."
John took Rodney's cock in his mouth then, licking around the head and further on every down-stroke. Rodney's breathing picked up, and he began to make those noises again.
It spurred John on to do his best to bring Rodney to a quick climax. He licked and sucked, he stroked and squeezed. Rodney's hips started to make aborted movements. When John used his other hand and fingered the back of Rodney's balls, Rodney shouted out and came without warning.
John greedily swallowed every spurt, until Rodney was completely limp.
Rodney panted heavily. "Give me a second, and I'll do you."
This time John didn't say he was fine.
~~
Blowing each other did make the time go a bit faster, but no matter how nice of a distraction it was, they couldn't do it all day long.
Rodney was still working on something, and after messing some more with a number puzzle, John decided to ask him what exactly it was.
"It's a way to monitor the rooms on Atlantis against irregularities. I've been meaning to implement something like that since Jennifer turned into a hive."
"How would it work?" John asked. "It was still a regular lifesign, wasn't it? And she still had her subcutaneous transmitter?"
"Exactly," Rodney said. "Checks for individual transmitters are good in cases of evacuation when you want to make sure certain people are where they're supposed to be, but not good for circumstances like undetected infections. No, the system I'm working on would notify us if let's say Lieutenant Smith one day doesn't get out of her room by ten even though she usually goes on her morning run early."
"What if she just wanted to sleep in?" John asked.
"Well, obviously the system would need to take certain patterns into account. It should consider days off or different behavior on days with a mission or after a mission. And it wouldn't immediately raise an alarm, it would simply present information to the gate techs on call."
"So you want to keep track of where everyone is on Atlantis. What if Lieutenant Smith doesn't want everyone to know that she spent the night with Sergeant Brown?" John asked.
"The info wouldn't be that detailed," Rodney said. "Obviously, we can't-and shouldn't-publicly post everyone's position at all times. The collected data needs to be encrypted and the only thing that would be displayed is something like a flag that someone might want to check in on them eventually. And I should point out that Lieutenant Smith couldn't count on not being found out even now since we occasionally do lifetime and transmitter scans if the situation calls for it," he added pointedly.
John wasn't sure if he was talking about John now. He was even less sure whom Rodney thought John would not want to be caught with.
"Though DADT is gone, so it shouldn't be an issue," Rodney added.
"Sergeant Brown could be married," John said, deliberately sticking to the hypothetical discussion. Rodney still seemed to read something into it as he raised an eyebrow. John quickly added, "Not that I cheated or was cheated on. And it could still be against other fraternization rules."
"There is that," Rodney said, suddenly thoughtful. "How bad would that be?" he asked.
John was back to wondering if he was talking about them. They hadn't actually discussed what they were doing here and what-if anything-would happen once they returned. "It depends," John answered. "If it's up the chain of command with the potential for coercion, it's worse than between team members. But it would have to stop of course. Or one of them would have to leave their team. If they split up the team, they could be a couple openly."
"As openly as they'd want to be," Rodney commented.
It sounded suspiciously like a dig at John's difficulties discussing his feelings. John chose not to think about the implications of Rodney bringing it up in the context. "There's different kinds of openness," John said. "You don't do much if you wear a wedding ring, but it's pretty open." He'd been good at those kind of demonstrations. He'd always had a picture of Nancy on his desk, and he'd always worn his wedding ring. It had made him feel both safe and uncomfortable. He'd felt more "normal" as a married man, but at the same time he'd felt the disconnect as if he'd always known that the marriage wouldn't last.
It would be different if he wore a ring now. If people asked about his wife, he'd be able to correct them and tell them about Rodn- whoever his husband would be.
"Ronon said you didn't want to get married again," Rodney said.
"Well," John said. "That was before DADT was repealed." It occurred to him that they'd left behind the plausible deniability of talking about Lieutenant Smith and Sergeant Brown. He went back to his numbers puzzle.
~~
"What's this?" Rodney asked.
He'd taken the clothes from the guard, while John had taken the lunch that had been brought for them. John set down the tray on his bed and looked at the little jar on top of their clothes. The substance inside was clear and greasy.
There weren't any cameras inside the cell. While the general condition of the facilities on the planet was good, it hadn't been very technologically advanced. But even without cameras it wouldn't have been too hard to figure out that they'd been having sex simply by listening from outside the cell.
"Lube," John said. "For fucking."
Rodney flushed.
"Easily excitable," John teased him.
"Only with you," Rodney mumbled.
John was not going to think about that. Instead he sat down to eat. "I wonder what Teyla and Ronon are doing," he said.
"Lots and lots of meditation," Rodney guessed, sitting down as well with his meal.
John snorted. "Ronon will go crazy."
"Maybe he's lifting the beds for fun," Rodney said.
"They could be sparring," John said.
Rodney looked around their small cell. "If they want a challenge, sure. But considering they have nothing else to do, maybe you're right."
John imagined their friends for a moment, moving gracefully around the room. "She'll miss Torren," it suddenly occurred to him.
Rodney nodded. "And Kanaan. You think she..." He made a vague gesture with his fork.
"Rodney!" Before John could even begin thinking about Teyla masturbating, he imagined her look of disapproval. "It's their business how they handle it if necessary."
"Just like it's nobody's business how we handle it," Rodney said.
John didn't say anything since he still wasn't sure how they'd handle it.
When their dishes were picked up, John asked how their friends were doing. They'd been told before that they were held in a different cell, and he had no reason to believe they were treated worse than John and Rodney had been treated. But he wanted to make sure that they-especially Ronon-weren't taking this worse than John and Rodney.
"They are doing well," the guard said. "Ronon helped with the construction of the temporary dormitories two days ago."
"He did what?!" John asked. "You mean you let him out?"
"He offered to help," the guard said.
"I'll offer to help!" John said. "What do you want me to do?"
"He is stronger than most of our people," the guard said. "Even those that resent your presence here could see that not accepting his offer would only make our work harder."
John swallowed but backed off.
The guard left, and Rodney said, "So, do you want to sulk about Ronon's superior physical prowess, or do you want to try out the lube?"
"I'll show you my physical prowess!"
~~
John thrust against Rodney's body. The lube made things wonderfully slick.
"Oh, yes," Rodney groaned, thrusting up against John. His hands were on John's back, and he moved them down to John's ass, grabbing his cheeks as their stiff cocks rubbed together between their bodies. His finger brushed against John's hole.
"You can fuck me if you want," John panted into Rodney's ear.
Rodney moaned and froze on the next thrust, and John felt him come between them. It was enough to trigger his own climax.
He dropped down on Rodney, breathing heavily. Rodney pushed at him and mumbled, "Shower."
"Can't move," John said between breaths.
"We'll stick together. Then we really won’t be able to move," Rodney said.
John imagined them glued together for the next couple of days in the cell and had to laugh. "All right," he said with a sigh and moved up. When Rodney didn't follow, he took his hand and dragged him to the shower.
Rodney wrapped his arms around him and leaned against him while John quickly scrubbed the come, lube, and sweat off their bodies. After stopping the water, he toweled them off cursorily. Rodney kept his arms around John, even when John moved to his own bed to lie down. Rodney simply dropped down on top of John.
"Oof," John said, pushing Rodney a bit to the side, but not off the bed.
Rodney snuggled close.
"Should I check the lube for something?" John asked. "You seem...loopy."
"Nah. Just a bit high from really good sex," Rodney said, grinning.
John smiled and let him be. He felt tempted to stroke Rodney's head and kiss him. But he wasn't sure if that fell under the sexual distraction they were engaging in at the moment. It was better to play it safe-in more ways than one. He'd learned to remain detached during sex. And he'd learned not to make his partners feel it. It was one of the things that had kept his marriage alive for as long as it lasted.
He closed his eyes, trying not to think about anything at all and simply enjoying the afterglow and the feeling of Rodney at his side.
It was like this that the guard found them when he brought them their dinner. John quickly covered them up, flushing.
The guard didn't comment and simply set the tray on Rodney's bed and left again.
"If he's the one that organized the lube for us, this wasn't a surprise to him," Rodney commented.
"Just because he knows doesn't mean he has to see it," John countered.
"So we'll cover up next time," Rodney said, getting up to get their dinner.
John's gaze travelled down his back and ass. He feared that he would miss this cell when they were picked up, even though he knew how screwed up it was to feel like that.
~~
"What?" John asked.
Rodney had started to slow down the scribbling on his sheets of paper and had begun to glance at John every now and then. "Did you mean it?" he asked now.
"Mean what?" John asked, throwing the paper airplane he'd been working on in Rodney's direction. Halfway between them it looped and fell straight to the ground.
Rodney looked at the plane, then blinked and looked back to John. "That I could fuck you."
That morning they'd traded blowjobs. Rodney hadn't complained. Quite the contrary. "Sure," John said.
Rodney looked at him for a moment. "Shower first?"
John wordlessly got up, picked up the paper plane and set it down on his end table, then undressed. Rodney was watching with interest but made no move to get undressed. "You wanna join me?"
"Yes," Rodney said, his gaze snapping up to John's face. He quickly got up and got out of his clothes as well.
They got a little bit frisky under the shower, kissing and touching just enough to be aroused, but not yet desperate.
Out of the shower, John reminded Rodney of the condoms that they carried with them on missions just in case.
"You think they'll work with the lube?" Rodney asked.
"Maybe not. Could still be better than going without. Not that there should be reason to worry," John finished awkwardly.
"It's good. We'll take them," Rodney said, taking the packet from John and kissing him.
John kissed back, keeping it casual and dragged Rodney to the bed.
The strange thing was that John had never consciously wondered what it would be like to be fucked by Rodney. He tried not to fantasize too much about him when he masturbated, but he must have had some mental image of it because he was surprised when Rodney was not only not nervous, but knew exactly what he was doing.
He prepared John efficiently, going for the prostate immediately to get John from pleasantly aroused to desperate to get fucked.
When he slipped on the condom and entered John, there was no hesitation. John still didn't think that Rodney had ever been fucked, but he was pretty sure that he'd had anal sex before, probably with a guy because he was really, really good at hitting John's prostate on every stroke.
In short, it was a fantastic fuck. John tried to do his part, squeezing his muscles and making Rodney moan in the process, which was very gratifying.
Rodney fucked John through his orgasm when it washed over him, calling out John's name and how hot and tight he was. It didn't take long for Rodney to follow John over the edge.
They lay panting for a minute until Rodney slipped out and got rid of the condom.
"-was amazing," Rodney declared, still out of breath.
"Yeah," John said. It had been a while since he'd been fucked. It had been a one-night-stand back on Earth before their return to Pegasus.
Rodney snuggled closer and kissed his cheek.
The right side of John's mouth tugged up in a smile that disappeared again as quickly as it had appeared. He had to think of Nancy suddenly. How often had she lain in his arms while he'd wondered what he was doing? With his one-night-stands at least there was no question about that. He'd said thanks and left as soon as they were done.
He couldn't leave now. He didn't even think he wanted to leave. Lying here with Rodney in his arms was nice. But some part of him knew that it should be more than nice.
Fortunately it was exactly the part of him that he'd shut out during the whole thing. It was better this way.
~~
When the guard offered to let them out for a bit the next day, John jumped at the chance before he even knew what they should help out with. He didn't care.
The simple act of being able to step outside made John feel ten times lighter, even if their captivity was probably the best they'd ever had. He'd never been so happy to let the sun shine on his face and splash his face with water from the basin at the town center.
They were asked to help applying quickly drying plaster to the walls. It wasn't very exciting work, but it was outside and after a week in the little cell John was ecstatic to be able to move.
Teyla and Ronon where there to help too, and they looked just as happy to be outside. Even Rodney didn't complain about the work though eventually he had to comment on the sun exposure.
The sun and freedom had made John giddy enough that he put some plaster on Rodney's nose.
"Wha?!" Rodney stared at him.
"You wanted something against the sun," John said with a grin.
"I'll give you something-" Rodney said, and put some plaster on John's face.
It quickly devolved into a messy fight, and John made Rodney squeal when he pushed plaster down his shirt.
"You bastard! It will dry, and I'll be turned into a human wall!"
"I'll help you get it off," John offered.
While Rodney grumbled and tried to get the plaster out, John went ahead and filled a bucket in the water basin.
"Oh, no, you won't," Rodney said when he spied John with the bucket.
"I'm just trying to help," John said innocently.
"I'll help you," Rodney said. Then he quickly ran towards John and pushed him into the basin. John wasn't quick enough to evade, but he was quick enough to hold onto Rodney, so that they both landed in the water.
Rodney spluttered and shouted, and they scrubbed each other clean in a playful fight. They kept scrubbing until the touches became more gentle and John felt the almost irresistible urge to kiss Rodney.
"Hey!" Ronon's shout came suddenly, and as soon as John had turned around a towel was flying in his direction.
They stepped out of the basin, and while John tried to dry himself and his clothes, Rodney simply slipped out of his shirt and threw it in John's face with a triumphant grin before using the momentary distraction and stealing the towel away from John.
John let the shirt fall to the ground and then pounced on Rodney, until he'd flattened Rodney to the wood that surrounded the basin, lying on top of him. "This was mine," he growled, tugging on the towel, but Rodney only grinned up at him.
This time John didn't think and simply leaned down to kiss Rodney. He felt Rodney's surprise for a moment before Rodney melted beneath John, wrapping his arms around him and returning the kiss.
Eventually Rodney squirmed. "M' back," he complained.
John grinned and let up, then helped Rodney to stand. He flushed when he became aware of the people surrounding them. Only few were paying attention to them, but still. He spotted Ronon smiling at them. Teyla stood next to him. She was also smiling, but her eyebrows were slightly narrowed as if she were a bit worried.
"I believe there's nothing left to plaster," their guard said.
"Oh," John said, looking at the wall, which looked covered in plaster indeed. "I'm sure there's something else we can do."
"And if there is, we'll let you out again," the guard said.
John sighed dramatically, but nodded. He waved at Teyla and Ronon, then bumped shoulders with Rodney as they were led back into their cell.
"I think I still have some plaster on my chest," Rodney complained once they were inside.
John grinned and backed him into the corner of the cell with the shower. "I'll help you clean," he promised, kissing Rodney.
He turned on the shower, not bothering to get out of his wet clothes first. He cleaned the last bits of plaster from Rodney while Rodney started to pull at his clothes, kissing John's skin as he exposed it.
Once they were naked, their touches had little to do with getting clean.
"John," Rodney breathed into his ear. "I want you to fuck me."
"Yeah," John said without thinking.
It wasn't until he was sinking into Rodney's tight body that John realized that this was a bad idea.
When Rodney had fucked him, John had managed to remain detached. He'd enjoyed the fuck but nothing else. But pushing into Rodney's body after the day they'd just had made it impossible to maintain a distance.
Rodney's half-lidded blue eyes looked up at him. His lips were parted, and he breathed heavily. He'd wrapped his legs tightly around John, pulling John deeper with every thrust.
Rodney felt hot and incredibly tight. John tried not to think about the fact that he was the first person to be inside Rodney like this. He tried not to think at all. But it was impossible to treat this as nothing but a good fuck.
Even if he could close his eyes and not see Rodney's look of passion, and even if he could ignore how Rodney felt around and beneath him, it was entirely hopeless to ignore the noises that Rodney made.
The heavy breaths that turned into moans. The groans that turned into whimpers. The way he said John's name over and over.
This was Rodney. Rodney coming undone beneath him because John was deep inside him, and it was simply impossible for John not to feel it.
It was Rodney. It was the man he wanted with an almost frightening intensity. It was the man he loved.
John ached from the reality of it. He'd never thought that he'd experience this, and now it was happening, and it was overwhelming. He kept pushing into Rodney, harder, faster, deeper, spurred on by the sounds Rodney made.
John wanted to be able to stay like this forever but it had to end eventually.
"John!" Rodney convulsed beneath and around him, making more of those indescribable noises that triggered John's own orgasm.
He dropped down on Rodney, slipping out of his body.
The air was filled with their panting, and John felt his heart constrict with love and tenderness-and fear. He hadn't meant to let things go so far. Fucking was fine, but he couldn't afford to lose control like this. Sexual distractions were supposed to be harmless fun. This hadn't been some harmless fun. It had been a connection that John had seldom experienced in life and that had always ended in heart break because they'd always turned out not to be real on some level.
He didn't want that to happen with Rodney. He didn't want Rodney to disappoint him or to disappoint Rodney. He especially didn't want it for something that wasn't Rodney's fault.
Rodney hadn't done anything to imply that this was more than a pleasurable way to kill some time. And the fact that every whimper from Rodney's mouth wrapped itself around John's heart like the loudest declaration of love was only John's stupid fault.
He wished he could get up and make a run for it. He'd find some excuse to get out without making Rodney feel abandoned. He was pretty damn good at that usually. But right now he had nowhere to hide, so he buried his face in Rodney's neck and just held on.
Rodney stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.
John held on even tighter. He didn't know how to deal with Rodney's affection.
"Let's never stop," Rodney said quietly. John held his breath when Rodney continued, "I know we could go back and pretend nothing happened, but let's not do that."
John took a deep breath. His heart started beating more quickly. He didn't even know what Rodney was saying. Was Rodney suggesting that they keep up the recreational fucking or did he mean more?
"Please," Rodney said.
"I..." was all that John managed in reply.
"I know you want it," Rodney said. "I mean I think I know. This isn't just sex for you is it?"
John panicked. Rodney didn't seriously expect him to talk about his feelings, did he?
"It isn't for me," Rodney said, and that made John finally lift his face to look at him. "I was attracted to you from the first time I saw you," Rodney continued. "I'm not saying it was love at first sight, but there was something there-always."
John didn't know what to say, so he only squeezed Rodney in encouragement.
"I wanted...I always wanted more on some level," Rodney went on. "But then the thing with Chaya happened, and we became friends. I've had sex with guys before but never... My serious relationships were always with women. That's what I saw for my future."
Future? John didn't dare to even contemplate a future with Rodney. Whenever he'd started making plans in a relationship, things had begun to fall apart. Though now he couldn't help imagining it. Growing old with Rodney by his side. His heart ached.
"I don't know why I kept fighting this," Rodney said almost to himself. "Thanking my beautiful wife at an award ceremony was just a stupid fantasy. There was never a good reason that it couldn't have been you."
"Rodney," John said quietly, unable to put his feelings into words.
"I love you, John," Rodney said.
John leaned forward and pressed his lips on Rodney's, putting all his feelings into the kiss. It was only when Rodney kissed back, openly, passionately, that John let go of the fear and the need to keep this under control. They kissed what felt like forever, and when they finally pulled apart, John was overwhelmed with emotion.
"I..." he started again, unable to continue.
"I know," Rodney said, stroking his cheek. "And I know you have a hard time saying it. I would be lying if I said I don't ever need to hear it, but you can take your time. I'm a patient man."
John snorted.
"What?" Rodney said. "Anyone who's with you needs the patience of a saint."
"Pot. Kettle," John said.
"Hey, I'm easy. Keep me fed and sexually satisfied and let me do my work, and I'm happy," Rodney said.
"Didn't work with Keller, did it?" John couldn't help pointing out.
"Love me the way I am," Rodney added seriously.
"I do," John said, his arms tightening around Rodney.
"I know," Rodney said, swallowing. "But I let my own narrow view of my future dictate my life. I'm sorry."
"Don't," John said. "We all... Sometimes we do things that seem right at the time..."
"...but turn out to be really wrong in retrospect," Rodney finished for him. "Like walking into a cave that generates enough energy to blow up a whole planet."
"You couldn't have known that," John reminded him.
"That's true," Rodney agreed. "We still destroyed their planet."
"Yes," John said. "And we'll help them as much as we can."
"We could do more if they let us out," Rodney said.
"You want to start complaining again?" John asked with a grin.
"I'm just saying." Rodney pouted only a bit.
"And here I thought being held captive together was the best thing that could have happened to us," John said.
"It was!" Rodney quickly said. "It definitely was." He leaned forward to kiss John. "But now that we've settled things, it would be nice to get out."
"Yes," John said. "But I doubt it's going to happen." He sighed. Then one corner of his mouth turned up. "We'll just have to make the best of it."
Rodney smirked back. "I think we'll manage."
"Definitely. So you like being ordered around?" John asked, moving one hand down to Rodney's ass.
Rodney spluttered and turned red.
John grinned. Maybe a bit more time alone with Rodney and no responsibilities wasn't such a bad thing.
**
Poll
Author: velocitygrass
Team: Time
Prompt: close quarters
Pairing(s): McKay/Sheppard
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 9,159
Warnings: none of the standard warnings apply
Summary: John and Rodney are stuck in a cell together. Boredom leads to sexual distraction, which leads to the question of what exactly they're doing.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to that_which and flitter_and_fly for the beta!
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the prompt in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
**
John almost wished for guards to storm in and threaten them. It wouldn't matter why as long as it would break up the horrible monotony of the four walls that held them.
Having Rodney with him didn't help at all. Especially when he went on another rant about their situation.
"I could be useful out there. My sensor didn't display anything even remotely as potent as the doomsday device in their caves. It's physically not possible for me to do the same damage. Not that I did any damage at all. It was a malfunction in the horribly designed machine, which nobody could have foreseen. Even they know that. They've acknowledged that I couldn't have known what would happen. And still they insist on keeping us locked up. It's barbaric!"
"You blew up their entire planet," John reminded him.
"I did no such thing!" Rodney said, getting red in the face.
John felt only slightly bad for riling him up on purpose. At least it was vaguely entertaining.
Rodney continued without pause. "It was the stupid Ancient who thought it would be a good idea to leave that machine lying around on a populated planet, fully armed. It's like the universe's most horrible land mine."
"Cave mine," John piped up.
"It was a death trap for the whole planet! And if it hadn't been for me, we wouldn't even have known. They would have gone on with their merry lives, not minding the little light show at the caves, until boom the next thing they know is nothing at all because they're all dead."
"Yeah, they should be much more grateful for saving them after blowing up their planet," John said drily.
Rodney glared at him. "You're doing this on purpose," he said, wagging a finger at John.
John only raised his eyebrows and smirked.
"You think this is funny?" Rodney asked acidly. "We've been stuck here for four days, and it will be at least two more weeks of this, maybe a lot more if the Daedalus doesn't make an immediate return trip. They're imprisoning innocent men!"
John had to bite his lip. This suddenly wasn't funny anymore. He was getting sick and tired of Rodney's attitude. Normally, he'd just turn and walk away. Go for a jog or train with Ronon. But he was stuck in this cell with Rodney, who was handling the whole situation with his usual grace-which was to say none at all.
"Such an injustice is hardly the way to start a new life on another planet," Rodney went on. "We were only trying to help. It could have been a ZPM factory, from the energy readings. They should be thanking us."
"For what!" John got up and shouted. Rodney took a step back, clearly surprised by John's sudden explosion. "We came to their planet and now it's gone! Why should they care about the reason? And just in case you still didn't get this. We destroyed their whole planet. This isn't one of those moments where we violated a pointless archaic native rule that we couldn't possibly have known about and they're trying to kill us. We destroyed their fucking planet, forcing them to relocate, and now they simply locked us away for the time because they're kind of busy rebuilding their whole life. Because we destroyed their planet. And you can't stop complaining about the 'injustice' of being served food three times a day in a cozy room with running water after WE DESTROYED THEIR PLANET." John shouted the last directly in Rodney's face.
Rodney lifted his chin, the corners of his mouth turned down.
John turned away and sat back down on his bed. He took one of the sheets of paper they'd provided them with and a pencil and started creating another Sudoku puzzle.
~~
John set aside the completed Sudoku, feeling a lot calmer. He risked a glance at Rodney, who was watching him.
After a moment, Rodney stood up from his bed and sat down next to John. "It's going to be fine," he said. It sounded slightly awkward but he looked eager to help. "Once the Daedalus returns, Atlantis will let them know that the explosion damaged the gate on this planet and they'll beam us out of here."
John didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "I know that," he said, pouting just a bit.
"Well, it seemed as if you could use the reminder," Rodney said, apparently trying to be diplomatic.
"You know, nothing I yelled at you was untrue," John said.
"Be that as it may, I can count the times that you've shouted at me like that when we weren't in a life or death situation on...no hand, so I think it's fair to say that our situation has made both of us a bit...tense."
Which was an understatement, but there was nothing either of them could do about it.
~~
John held out for five days in their prison before he caved and masturbated in the shower as quietly as he could-which was very quiet thanks to his decades in service.
It wasn't that he couldn't go without jerking off, but right now he had absolutely nothing to distract him and it didn't help at all to have Rodney around him 24/7. After John's little outburst, Rodney had cut down the complaints about how they were treated-which was really exemplary, all things considered. And John hadn't really been angry at him in the first place. He still thought Rodney had been unreasonable, but that was simply how Rodney got in certain situations, and usually John was only mildly annoyed.
Being unable to run-for excercise or to get a way-had set John on edge, though. He was feeling a bit better after venting at Rodney and his reaction, but he was still bored out of his skull. After stopping the constant complaining, Rodney was using the time more productively by working, filling the sheets of paper with diagrams and calculations.
But John had little more to do than watch Rodney think, stretch, sleep, and listen to him shower, where he was naked, just a few feet away, with nothing but a thin wooden board between them.
Five days of that were enough, so John took his cock in hand and tried to do a quick job of it and not think about Rodney. He managed the former, failed on the latter, but at least he'd gotten it out of his system for the moment, and he didn't think he'd been loud enough for Rodney to notice, if he was even awake already.
John turned off the shower and got into the second set of clothes they'd provided them with to wear in turns with their own ones while they were being washed. He mused that it was strange that Rodney had been holding out longer than John. Rodney had never struck him as the self-denying type, but John hadn't heard him masturbate even once, and his ears knew what to listen for.
Maybe being held in the cell was stressful enough for Rodney to not even think about it. Though he didn't seem genuinely concerned. His mood had just been at a higher level of annoyance, and even that had lessened after John's outburst, so maybe Rodney had taken to heart that they really didn't have a reason to complain.
When he stepped out of the little shower corner, John found Rodney looking sleepy but awake. Which was another thing about sharing the cell with him. John wasn't sure if it was a good thing to be exposed to such-frankly adorable, not that he'd ever admit that-sights.
Rodney scratched his head, then looked at John but didn't say anything.
"Shower's free if you want," John said unnecessarily. It wasn't as if there could be anyone else occupying it.
"Yeah, I... Actually, I think we should talk about...needs," Rodney said, flushing slightly.
John hoped he wasn't flushing too. He wasn't sure if Rodney had heard him, or if it was simply coincidence that he couldn't hold out longer either. No matter which it was, John wished he just would have done what guys did in such a situation. Do it as inconspicuously as possible and ignore it when they do notice what their roommate is doing. "Shower," he suggested quickly since Rodney apparently needed to discuss this.
"No, I meant...other needs," Rodney said, giving John a look.
Now John was sure he was flushing, but he couldn't help it. "Yes, I know. I meant you could...in the shower," he said, hoping fervently that Rodney didn't need it spelled out. The horny side of his brain added, 'or need help achieving it.' It was a good thing he'd just come.
"Oh, you..." Rodney said, looking at the shower corner. "Really? I didn't hear a thing, and I listened because I was waiting for you to finish."
John really, really tried not to think about that. Thankfully, Rodney continued.
"I, uh, prefer lying in bed," he said. "You could...pretend not to hear me."
"Rodney, I've been in the military most of my life. I wasn't going to say anything," John told him.
"Well, I'm not as well versed in masturbation etiquette," Rodney said. "It wasn't really an issue for me. My first roommate at university was mostly out anyway and with the second...that wasn't an issue." He flushed, turned around, and pulled the covers right up to his neck.
John wasn't sure what exactly Rodney was saying. Had he masturbated with the second roommate? Or just liked to watch? It had to be something other than the guy simply not jerking off in bed if Rodney's flushed face was anything to go by. Which was...well, not completely surprising. John remembered moments where Rodney had reacted to some of the more revealing outfits of female and male natives or a set of statues that resembled gay erotic art. He had never said anything even though he clearly didn't have a problem talking about the various real and fantasized relationships with women, so John hadn't been sure what to make of it even if Rodney's behavior had struck him as not exactly that of a straight guy.
Rodney also hadn't said anything when John had come out to the team. He'd seemed surprised though John felt that it had been more about John revealing something personal rather than the fact that he identified-for the most part-as gay. Rodney had been supportive enough after the initial surprise. He'd smiled at John. Teyla had squeezed John's hand, and Ronon had given him an "I knew that" look. But Rodney had never said anything to John about it, either that day or later.
Not that there'd been occasion to do so. John still didn't like to talk about such things, and it couldn't even come in the form of John's dates because he didn't do that. All of the military personnel was off limits to him, and even with scientists things could get awkward after breaking up in a closed environment such at Atlantis. Rodney and Keller seemed to handle it pretty well, but they'd also noticeably seen less of each other after their split.
Rodney began to move under his cover, and John didn't know what to do because even though he wanted to watch-hell, because he wanted to watch-he definitely shouldn't if he didn't want to drive himself up the wall for the rest of their captivity.
"I guess I could shower again," he said, getting up to do just that, but Rodney stopped him.
"Don't be ridiculous. You just came out of it," he said. "Why don't you go work on your Sudoku? The last one was way too easy."
John huffed and picked up the paper with his last creation. He drew a new square and divided it into more sub-squares while in the other bed Rodney started to make noises.
He wasn't moaning or anything, but the way he breathed seemed different to John. And it didn't help that he could see Rodney's arm moving out of the corner of his eye. John turned his head, so that Rodney was completely out of his sight, but that didn't solve the problem of being able to hear him.
John could hear every hitch in Rodney's breath. He tried not to listen, but it was impossible. He heard every movement on the bed, the rustling of the cover, the skin on skin. But the worst was Rodney's breathing. It was more labored now, like he'd been forced to run, though the breaths weren't as frequent as when he was gasping for air. He was taking long deep breaths, and when there were tiny little noises added to the breathing, John had to swallow.
Apparently it didn't matter that he'd just jerked off in the shower. John was getting hard.
Rodney kept going, his movement speeding up, his breathing becoming heavier and more ragged.
John was sitting stock still, failing badly at ignoring Rodney. He pictured in frightening detail what Rodney's face looked like right now and where exactly his hand was on his cock. Was he leaking already? Was he also fondling his balls? Or did he like both hands on his cock? Was his mouth open as he made those noises?
Instead of answering his silent questions, Rodney suddenly stopped.
John wasn't sure if he was coming. It didn't sound like it. He didn't make any noise or fall back on the bed. John couldn't hear anything at all.
"You're not even breathing," Rodney suddenly said.
John exhaled. "Sorry," he said, feeling embarrassed at being caught listening even if he'd tried not to look at least. "I'll just go take that shower." He swung his legs down and got up when Rodney turned around, his gaze quickly focusing on the bulge in John's pants.
"I thought you were used to this," Rodney said.
Other guys masturbating, sure. But not Rodney masturbating. And making those noises. Of course John didn't tell Rodney that. He felt himself flush.
"This is ridiculous. I feel like we're in a bad porn movie," Rodney said.
John snorted.
"You'd be John Shepphard and I'd be Rod McKay."
"And I'd say, 'If you can't get off by yourself, I'll make you come,'" John said, voice getting deep and rough for the fake porn dialog.
Rodney blinked, then flushed and turned around again. His arm started to move again, rapidly shifting, and when he started making those noises again, John had to bite down a groan. Rodney wasn't just beating off now. He was trying to come with John's words on his mind, which was a head-trip. John had very much tried not to wonder if Rodney was thinking about anyone in particular, but after Rodney's obvious reaction to his words he couldn't help thinking that it was him.
Rodney was jerking off thinking about John. And John couldn't look away or stop listening.
The noises became louder, like a soft whine coming from deep within, and then Rodney's whole body froze and he jerked, throwing his head back, face contorted in pleasure.
Jesus Christ. John was sure that if he hadn't just masturbated in the shower, simply watching Rodney climax would have been enough to make him come in his pants. As it was he only felt uncomfortably tight in his pants. He watched Rodney panting on the bed, but then became self-conscious and went into the bathroom corner of their cell. He got a few sheets of toilet paper then came back out and dropped them on Rodney before sitting back down gingerly.
"Thank you," Rodney said, still breathing hard. He took the toilet paper and his hand disappeared under the cover. When he was done, he turned to John, gaze searching out his crotch. "You didn't..."
"I'm fine," John said dismissively. Which was true. His dick would go down eventually. How John would do for another two weeks alone with Rodney in this cell was another matter.
~~
John had climbed up the sink to be able to look out the small window at the top of their cell. Unfortunately this was the back side of the prison, which was built directly near the mountain ridge, so the view consisted of a rock wall and a few trees to the left. They were evergreens and not particularly interesting ones. There weren't even native wild flowers or weeds, let alone animals that might have been more entertaining to watch than his thorough examination of the rock wall. John sighed.
He turned around, "There's not ev-" and stopped abruptly when he saw that Rodney was completely under the covers, on the side, arm conspicuously in front of him.
"Do you do that on purpose?" Rodney asked annoyed.
"Oh, yeah, McKay, it's my goal in life to keep you from jacking off," John said, trying to lay on the sarcasm even as his pants tightened.
"Nah," Rodney said dismissively. "You're too lazy to be a sadist."
"Who says you can't be a lazy sadist?" John said. "You just need authority."
"Uhuh," Rodney said, turning enough to roll his eyes at John.
"You don't think I could?" John asked. "I'd say, 'Hands off, your dick is mine!' and-"
"Jesus," Rodney interrupted him, turning back around. His arm started moving again.
And so did John's mind. Once had been bad enough, but the idea that a simple order could get Rodney so hot and bothered was an incredible turn on. John wasn't sure if this was a thing for Rodney, that he got off on verbal stimulation, or if it was what John said-and how-in particular. In any case, it very obviously wasn't a problem for Rodney that it had been John who'd said those words and who was in the same room, watching him quite shamelessly from his vantage point.
Rodney squirmed and pistoned his arm up and down, making those noises again. They seemed louder than before. John wasn't sure if it was his imagination or if Rodney simply didn't care since John knew what he was doing anyway.
Either way it was an incredible turn on, and John shifted in his uniform but didn't touch himself. He watched in rapt attention, his own breathing speeding up slightly as Rodney got even louder and started moving more, the cover shifting down enough that John could see the vague form of a fist in the shadow and peaking through-
Rodney groaned loudly as he came, and John could have sworn he actually saw his come spurting out of his cock for a second.
They were both breathing heavily. John was incredibly hard, but he wasn't going to do anything about it. Certainly not while balanced on the sink. He jumped down, wincing as he landed, and distracted himself by picking up two sheets of toilet paper for Rodney.
"I've got some," Rodney said. "But thanks." He looked at John's tented crotch. "You could use them yourself."
"I'm good," John said. "And actually, we might wanna cut down on the toilet paper. I'm not sure however it was produced is working again." The planet that their...hosts had relocated to had been culled thirty years ago, so the buildings and facilities still stood, but it didn't mean that everything was fully functioning and supplying the population had to take first priority.
"If this were porn, one of us would offer ways to deal with the spunk now," Rodney said, grinning. He looked flushed and satiated, and if John's mind had moved away from what had just happened for a moment, it was now fully back on track.
"And if it were a continuation from the scene before, I'd tell you to suck my dick to show your gratitude for making you come," John said, voice rough.
"Damn, you're good at this dirty talk," Rodney said.
"Actually, not," John said truthfully. "I don't really talk much during..." He made a gesture with his hand.
"Maybe a natural then," Rodney said.
"Nah, you're just easily excited," John teased him.
Rodney huffed.
~~
The planet had a particularly bright moon. Or maybe it had even more than one. On a cloudless night, the moonlight coming through the little window was enough to tinge the room in soft blue light.
John was feeling restless. He'd done some exercises in the little space they had, but it was only in part about moving. He just couldn't get away. Rodney was never more than ten feet away from him, and as much as he liked spending time with Rodney in general, being forced together 24/7 was in some ways exhausting.
Part of that was simply the inability to be alone. He valued time where he could remove himself from the presence of other people and not have to think at all about how or whether to interact. Another part was being with Rodney in particular.
In some ways it was great. Earlier that day they had a healthy discussion about the various merits of mythical creatures. Rodney refused to concede that being able to fly was way cooler than shapeshifting (into non-flying things). It lasted for hours, which was a good thing considering their predicament.
John couldn't imagine having such a discussion with anyone else.
On the other hand John sometimes felt the strain of having to watch himself around Rodney. With not much else to do he found himself just taking in Rodney. The way his hands moved even when he was just thinking. The way he stretched to loosen his muscles. The way his shirt rode up when he leaned forward to write his notes.
And those were just the minor things. There was also listening to Rodney showering, knowing that he was naked at that moment, and of course, the masturbation. The latter was surprisingly not as hard to deal with because John's reaction to that was pretty natural.
But some part of him was afraid that Rodney might catch him looking some day and see something that he wasn't supposed to see. John felt self-conscious about that sometimes, like that morning in the shower. He hadn't even jerked off because he remembered that Rodney had told him he'd listened the first time, and even if he hadn't heard anything, what if he did now?
Having watched Rodney masturbate-several times-didn't make John any more comfortable with doing the same. But at the same time it fed his imagination, and he really wanted to jerk off.
John looked over at Rodney's bed. Rodney had his eyes closed. John wasn't certain if he was asleep, but he didn't want to hold back any longer. Besides, he was still going to try to not make any noises.
He turned his back to Rodney and slipped his hand into his boxers. His dick was already beginning to fill, obviously willing and eager to take this chance at some action. John pushed his boxers down enough to free his cock, wincing slightly at the noise that made. He held his breath, listening to any change from the other side of the cell, but Rodney's breathing continued as before.
John started to stroke his dick, trying to minimize his movements. He replayed Rodney masturbating in his head, particularly the moments when he climaxed and the moment that might or might not have been a glimpse of his dick shooting his spunk.
John forced himself to keep his breathing even while he jerked himself off with long firm strokes. What he really wanted was hard and fast with his whole body getting into the action, but that would have to wait until the next shower. He simply hoped that he'd be able to forget that Rodney might be listening because trying to be completely quiet was torture.
He bit his lip, squeezing around the head of his cock, teasing the spot on the underside, and spreading the pre-come around when it first appeared.
This was fucking hard. He'd never cared as much about staying quiet in his bunk. It wasn't as if the others in the barracks hadn't been doing the same. Hell, Rodney had done the same, and still John found it impossible to just let go.
"So quiet," Rodney's whispered voice floated to him.
John froze. Then he abruptly turned around to look at Rodney.
Rodney looked at him, gaze flicking down John's body and back to his face. John still had his hand around his dick. He wanted so badly to just close his eyes and do this, but his hand remained firm but unmoving on his cock.
"I can help," Rodney said quietly.
God. Rodney couldn't be- They weren't- Jerking off in the presence of someone else in enforced proximity was one thing. But actually touching... So far John had managed to convince himself that this was nothing, and once they'd be back in Atlantis they'd look back on this as that really long sucky mission with room service in the cell-and the masturbation would never be mentioned or thought of again, except in John's private fantasies if he didn't rein them in.
But this wasn't just jerking off. This wasn't just doing what every guy did even if they usually preferred privacy. In particular this wasn't the kind of thing that John could simply brush off with, "It doesn't mean that he's interested in guys." And being able to do that would make it so much easier not to think about it.
Rodney moved back his cover and sat up. "You don't have to say anything," he offered. He stood up. "You don't have to ask or say yes if you can't."
John felt his body vibrating with the effort not to move or speak. He wanted...he just wanted. So badly.
"Just give me a sign if you want me to stop," Rodney said, taking a step forward and then kneeling down.
John didn't move a muscle. He didn't even breathe or blink.
"Okay," Rodney said and pulled back John's cover.
John wondered for a moment what exactly Rodney had planned and then his hand was gently removed from his dick and Rodney took him in his mouth, sucking him deep as if he'd wanted to do that forever.
There wasn't much thinking after that until John came and came down Rodney's throat and fell asleep as soon as Rodney had tucked him in again.
~~
John woke early the next day. Whatever uncertainty he'd had about Rodney being into guys was gone.
There was no way that John's cock had been the first that Rodney had sucked. But the fact that Rodney sucked cock-including John's-didn't change anything about their relationship. At least it didn't have to, and John would do well not to get his hopes up.
John took a quick shower. He didn't masturbate, though his mind flashed to the previous night for a moment. The moonlight had brightened the room enough for John to remember the sight of Rodney's lips wrapped around his cock.
When he stepped out of the bathroom corner of their cell, John found Rodney watching him from the bed.
"Shower's free," John said.
Rodney didn't say anything. Instead he placed his hand under the cover, his eyes not leaving John's.
John swallowed. He watched Rodney's hand move under the cover, leaving no doubt to what Rodney was doing. John didn't move or look away. Rodney kept stroking himself, gaze still on John. When he shifted, the cover slipped down as if in invitation.
John didn't know whether it had been an accident or deliberate, but Rodney certainly hadn't intended to hide what he was doing from John, so John took a step towards him. When Rodney's gaze dipped to John's mouth and he moved again, pushing the cover even lower, John took it for the request that it was.
He dropped down to his knees and slowly pulled back the cover, leaving Rodney enough time to stop him, should he want to.
Rodney let John uncover him completely. His dick was hard and red, his grip around it tight.
John moved a hand to Rodney's wrist and gently tugged it away, letting his own take its place. He didn't grip Rodney's dick as tightly, though. He simply held it, stroking it softly. When he looked up, John saw Rodney's eyes on him. His lips were slightly parted.
They stayed like that until Rodney said, "John."
John took Rodney's cock in his mouth then, licking around the head and further on every down-stroke. Rodney's breathing picked up, and he began to make those noises again.
It spurred John on to do his best to bring Rodney to a quick climax. He licked and sucked, he stroked and squeezed. Rodney's hips started to make aborted movements. When John used his other hand and fingered the back of Rodney's balls, Rodney shouted out and came without warning.
John greedily swallowed every spurt, until Rodney was completely limp.
Rodney panted heavily. "Give me a second, and I'll do you."
This time John didn't say he was fine.
~~
Blowing each other did make the time go a bit faster, but no matter how nice of a distraction it was, they couldn't do it all day long.
Rodney was still working on something, and after messing some more with a number puzzle, John decided to ask him what exactly it was.
"It's a way to monitor the rooms on Atlantis against irregularities. I've been meaning to implement something like that since Jennifer turned into a hive."
"How would it work?" John asked. "It was still a regular lifesign, wasn't it? And she still had her subcutaneous transmitter?"
"Exactly," Rodney said. "Checks for individual transmitters are good in cases of evacuation when you want to make sure certain people are where they're supposed to be, but not good for circumstances like undetected infections. No, the system I'm working on would notify us if let's say Lieutenant Smith one day doesn't get out of her room by ten even though she usually goes on her morning run early."
"What if she just wanted to sleep in?" John asked.
"Well, obviously the system would need to take certain patterns into account. It should consider days off or different behavior on days with a mission or after a mission. And it wouldn't immediately raise an alarm, it would simply present information to the gate techs on call."
"So you want to keep track of where everyone is on Atlantis. What if Lieutenant Smith doesn't want everyone to know that she spent the night with Sergeant Brown?" John asked.
"The info wouldn't be that detailed," Rodney said. "Obviously, we can't-and shouldn't-publicly post everyone's position at all times. The collected data needs to be encrypted and the only thing that would be displayed is something like a flag that someone might want to check in on them eventually. And I should point out that Lieutenant Smith couldn't count on not being found out even now since we occasionally do lifetime and transmitter scans if the situation calls for it," he added pointedly.
John wasn't sure if he was talking about John now. He was even less sure whom Rodney thought John would not want to be caught with.
"Though DADT is gone, so it shouldn't be an issue," Rodney added.
"Sergeant Brown could be married," John said, deliberately sticking to the hypothetical discussion. Rodney still seemed to read something into it as he raised an eyebrow. John quickly added, "Not that I cheated or was cheated on. And it could still be against other fraternization rules."
"There is that," Rodney said, suddenly thoughtful. "How bad would that be?" he asked.
John was back to wondering if he was talking about them. They hadn't actually discussed what they were doing here and what-if anything-would happen once they returned. "It depends," John answered. "If it's up the chain of command with the potential for coercion, it's worse than between team members. But it would have to stop of course. Or one of them would have to leave their team. If they split up the team, they could be a couple openly."
"As openly as they'd want to be," Rodney commented.
It sounded suspiciously like a dig at John's difficulties discussing his feelings. John chose not to think about the implications of Rodney bringing it up in the context. "There's different kinds of openness," John said. "You don't do much if you wear a wedding ring, but it's pretty open." He'd been good at those kind of demonstrations. He'd always had a picture of Nancy on his desk, and he'd always worn his wedding ring. It had made him feel both safe and uncomfortable. He'd felt more "normal" as a married man, but at the same time he'd felt the disconnect as if he'd always known that the marriage wouldn't last.
It would be different if he wore a ring now. If people asked about his wife, he'd be able to correct them and tell them about Rodn- whoever his husband would be.
"Ronon said you didn't want to get married again," Rodney said.
"Well," John said. "That was before DADT was repealed." It occurred to him that they'd left behind the plausible deniability of talking about Lieutenant Smith and Sergeant Brown. He went back to his numbers puzzle.
~~
"What's this?" Rodney asked.
He'd taken the clothes from the guard, while John had taken the lunch that had been brought for them. John set down the tray on his bed and looked at the little jar on top of their clothes. The substance inside was clear and greasy.
There weren't any cameras inside the cell. While the general condition of the facilities on the planet was good, it hadn't been very technologically advanced. But even without cameras it wouldn't have been too hard to figure out that they'd been having sex simply by listening from outside the cell.
"Lube," John said. "For fucking."
Rodney flushed.
"Easily excitable," John teased him.
"Only with you," Rodney mumbled.
John was not going to think about that. Instead he sat down to eat. "I wonder what Teyla and Ronon are doing," he said.
"Lots and lots of meditation," Rodney guessed, sitting down as well with his meal.
John snorted. "Ronon will go crazy."
"Maybe he's lifting the beds for fun," Rodney said.
"They could be sparring," John said.
Rodney looked around their small cell. "If they want a challenge, sure. But considering they have nothing else to do, maybe you're right."
John imagined their friends for a moment, moving gracefully around the room. "She'll miss Torren," it suddenly occurred to him.
Rodney nodded. "And Kanaan. You think she..." He made a vague gesture with his fork.
"Rodney!" Before John could even begin thinking about Teyla masturbating, he imagined her look of disapproval. "It's their business how they handle it if necessary."
"Just like it's nobody's business how we handle it," Rodney said.
John didn't say anything since he still wasn't sure how they'd handle it.
When their dishes were picked up, John asked how their friends were doing. They'd been told before that they were held in a different cell, and he had no reason to believe they were treated worse than John and Rodney had been treated. But he wanted to make sure that they-especially Ronon-weren't taking this worse than John and Rodney.
"They are doing well," the guard said. "Ronon helped with the construction of the temporary dormitories two days ago."
"He did what?!" John asked. "You mean you let him out?"
"He offered to help," the guard said.
"I'll offer to help!" John said. "What do you want me to do?"
"He is stronger than most of our people," the guard said. "Even those that resent your presence here could see that not accepting his offer would only make our work harder."
John swallowed but backed off.
The guard left, and Rodney said, "So, do you want to sulk about Ronon's superior physical prowess, or do you want to try out the lube?"
"I'll show you my physical prowess!"
~~
John thrust against Rodney's body. The lube made things wonderfully slick.
"Oh, yes," Rodney groaned, thrusting up against John. His hands were on John's back, and he moved them down to John's ass, grabbing his cheeks as their stiff cocks rubbed together between their bodies. His finger brushed against John's hole.
"You can fuck me if you want," John panted into Rodney's ear.
Rodney moaned and froze on the next thrust, and John felt him come between them. It was enough to trigger his own climax.
He dropped down on Rodney, breathing heavily. Rodney pushed at him and mumbled, "Shower."
"Can't move," John said between breaths.
"We'll stick together. Then we really won’t be able to move," Rodney said.
John imagined them glued together for the next couple of days in the cell and had to laugh. "All right," he said with a sigh and moved up. When Rodney didn't follow, he took his hand and dragged him to the shower.
Rodney wrapped his arms around him and leaned against him while John quickly scrubbed the come, lube, and sweat off their bodies. After stopping the water, he toweled them off cursorily. Rodney kept his arms around John, even when John moved to his own bed to lie down. Rodney simply dropped down on top of John.
"Oof," John said, pushing Rodney a bit to the side, but not off the bed.
Rodney snuggled close.
"Should I check the lube for something?" John asked. "You seem...loopy."
"Nah. Just a bit high from really good sex," Rodney said, grinning.
John smiled and let him be. He felt tempted to stroke Rodney's head and kiss him. But he wasn't sure if that fell under the sexual distraction they were engaging in at the moment. It was better to play it safe-in more ways than one. He'd learned to remain detached during sex. And he'd learned not to make his partners feel it. It was one of the things that had kept his marriage alive for as long as it lasted.
He closed his eyes, trying not to think about anything at all and simply enjoying the afterglow and the feeling of Rodney at his side.
It was like this that the guard found them when he brought them their dinner. John quickly covered them up, flushing.
The guard didn't comment and simply set the tray on Rodney's bed and left again.
"If he's the one that organized the lube for us, this wasn't a surprise to him," Rodney commented.
"Just because he knows doesn't mean he has to see it," John countered.
"So we'll cover up next time," Rodney said, getting up to get their dinner.
John's gaze travelled down his back and ass. He feared that he would miss this cell when they were picked up, even though he knew how screwed up it was to feel like that.
~~
"What?" John asked.
Rodney had started to slow down the scribbling on his sheets of paper and had begun to glance at John every now and then. "Did you mean it?" he asked now.
"Mean what?" John asked, throwing the paper airplane he'd been working on in Rodney's direction. Halfway between them it looped and fell straight to the ground.
Rodney looked at the plane, then blinked and looked back to John. "That I could fuck you."
That morning they'd traded blowjobs. Rodney hadn't complained. Quite the contrary. "Sure," John said.
Rodney looked at him for a moment. "Shower first?"
John wordlessly got up, picked up the paper plane and set it down on his end table, then undressed. Rodney was watching with interest but made no move to get undressed. "You wanna join me?"
"Yes," Rodney said, his gaze snapping up to John's face. He quickly got up and got out of his clothes as well.
They got a little bit frisky under the shower, kissing and touching just enough to be aroused, but not yet desperate.
Out of the shower, John reminded Rodney of the condoms that they carried with them on missions just in case.
"You think they'll work with the lube?" Rodney asked.
"Maybe not. Could still be better than going without. Not that there should be reason to worry," John finished awkwardly.
"It's good. We'll take them," Rodney said, taking the packet from John and kissing him.
John kissed back, keeping it casual and dragged Rodney to the bed.
The strange thing was that John had never consciously wondered what it would be like to be fucked by Rodney. He tried not to fantasize too much about him when he masturbated, but he must have had some mental image of it because he was surprised when Rodney was not only not nervous, but knew exactly what he was doing.
He prepared John efficiently, going for the prostate immediately to get John from pleasantly aroused to desperate to get fucked.
When he slipped on the condom and entered John, there was no hesitation. John still didn't think that Rodney had ever been fucked, but he was pretty sure that he'd had anal sex before, probably with a guy because he was really, really good at hitting John's prostate on every stroke.
In short, it was a fantastic fuck. John tried to do his part, squeezing his muscles and making Rodney moan in the process, which was very gratifying.
Rodney fucked John through his orgasm when it washed over him, calling out John's name and how hot and tight he was. It didn't take long for Rodney to follow John over the edge.
They lay panting for a minute until Rodney slipped out and got rid of the condom.
"-was amazing," Rodney declared, still out of breath.
"Yeah," John said. It had been a while since he'd been fucked. It had been a one-night-stand back on Earth before their return to Pegasus.
Rodney snuggled closer and kissed his cheek.
The right side of John's mouth tugged up in a smile that disappeared again as quickly as it had appeared. He had to think of Nancy suddenly. How often had she lain in his arms while he'd wondered what he was doing? With his one-night-stands at least there was no question about that. He'd said thanks and left as soon as they were done.
He couldn't leave now. He didn't even think he wanted to leave. Lying here with Rodney in his arms was nice. But some part of him knew that it should be more than nice.
Fortunately it was exactly the part of him that he'd shut out during the whole thing. It was better this way.
~~
When the guard offered to let them out for a bit the next day, John jumped at the chance before he even knew what they should help out with. He didn't care.
The simple act of being able to step outside made John feel ten times lighter, even if their captivity was probably the best they'd ever had. He'd never been so happy to let the sun shine on his face and splash his face with water from the basin at the town center.
They were asked to help applying quickly drying plaster to the walls. It wasn't very exciting work, but it was outside and after a week in the little cell John was ecstatic to be able to move.
Teyla and Ronon where there to help too, and they looked just as happy to be outside. Even Rodney didn't complain about the work though eventually he had to comment on the sun exposure.
The sun and freedom had made John giddy enough that he put some plaster on Rodney's nose.
"Wha?!" Rodney stared at him.
"You wanted something against the sun," John said with a grin.
"I'll give you something-" Rodney said, and put some plaster on John's face.
It quickly devolved into a messy fight, and John made Rodney squeal when he pushed plaster down his shirt.
"You bastard! It will dry, and I'll be turned into a human wall!"
"I'll help you get it off," John offered.
While Rodney grumbled and tried to get the plaster out, John went ahead and filled a bucket in the water basin.
"Oh, no, you won't," Rodney said when he spied John with the bucket.
"I'm just trying to help," John said innocently.
"I'll help you," Rodney said. Then he quickly ran towards John and pushed him into the basin. John wasn't quick enough to evade, but he was quick enough to hold onto Rodney, so that they both landed in the water.
Rodney spluttered and shouted, and they scrubbed each other clean in a playful fight. They kept scrubbing until the touches became more gentle and John felt the almost irresistible urge to kiss Rodney.
"Hey!" Ronon's shout came suddenly, and as soon as John had turned around a towel was flying in his direction.
They stepped out of the basin, and while John tried to dry himself and his clothes, Rodney simply slipped out of his shirt and threw it in John's face with a triumphant grin before using the momentary distraction and stealing the towel away from John.
John let the shirt fall to the ground and then pounced on Rodney, until he'd flattened Rodney to the wood that surrounded the basin, lying on top of him. "This was mine," he growled, tugging on the towel, but Rodney only grinned up at him.
This time John didn't think and simply leaned down to kiss Rodney. He felt Rodney's surprise for a moment before Rodney melted beneath John, wrapping his arms around him and returning the kiss.
Eventually Rodney squirmed. "M' back," he complained.
John grinned and let up, then helped Rodney to stand. He flushed when he became aware of the people surrounding them. Only few were paying attention to them, but still. He spotted Ronon smiling at them. Teyla stood next to him. She was also smiling, but her eyebrows were slightly narrowed as if she were a bit worried.
"I believe there's nothing left to plaster," their guard said.
"Oh," John said, looking at the wall, which looked covered in plaster indeed. "I'm sure there's something else we can do."
"And if there is, we'll let you out again," the guard said.
John sighed dramatically, but nodded. He waved at Teyla and Ronon, then bumped shoulders with Rodney as they were led back into their cell.
"I think I still have some plaster on my chest," Rodney complained once they were inside.
John grinned and backed him into the corner of the cell with the shower. "I'll help you clean," he promised, kissing Rodney.
He turned on the shower, not bothering to get out of his wet clothes first. He cleaned the last bits of plaster from Rodney while Rodney started to pull at his clothes, kissing John's skin as he exposed it.
Once they were naked, their touches had little to do with getting clean.
"John," Rodney breathed into his ear. "I want you to fuck me."
"Yeah," John said without thinking.
It wasn't until he was sinking into Rodney's tight body that John realized that this was a bad idea.
When Rodney had fucked him, John had managed to remain detached. He'd enjoyed the fuck but nothing else. But pushing into Rodney's body after the day they'd just had made it impossible to maintain a distance.
Rodney's half-lidded blue eyes looked up at him. His lips were parted, and he breathed heavily. He'd wrapped his legs tightly around John, pulling John deeper with every thrust.
Rodney felt hot and incredibly tight. John tried not to think about the fact that he was the first person to be inside Rodney like this. He tried not to think at all. But it was impossible to treat this as nothing but a good fuck.
Even if he could close his eyes and not see Rodney's look of passion, and even if he could ignore how Rodney felt around and beneath him, it was entirely hopeless to ignore the noises that Rodney made.
The heavy breaths that turned into moans. The groans that turned into whimpers. The way he said John's name over and over.
This was Rodney. Rodney coming undone beneath him because John was deep inside him, and it was simply impossible for John not to feel it.
It was Rodney. It was the man he wanted with an almost frightening intensity. It was the man he loved.
John ached from the reality of it. He'd never thought that he'd experience this, and now it was happening, and it was overwhelming. He kept pushing into Rodney, harder, faster, deeper, spurred on by the sounds Rodney made.
John wanted to be able to stay like this forever but it had to end eventually.
"John!" Rodney convulsed beneath and around him, making more of those indescribable noises that triggered John's own orgasm.
He dropped down on Rodney, slipping out of his body.
The air was filled with their panting, and John felt his heart constrict with love and tenderness-and fear. He hadn't meant to let things go so far. Fucking was fine, but he couldn't afford to lose control like this. Sexual distractions were supposed to be harmless fun. This hadn't been some harmless fun. It had been a connection that John had seldom experienced in life and that had always ended in heart break because they'd always turned out not to be real on some level.
He didn't want that to happen with Rodney. He didn't want Rodney to disappoint him or to disappoint Rodney. He especially didn't want it for something that wasn't Rodney's fault.
Rodney hadn't done anything to imply that this was more than a pleasurable way to kill some time. And the fact that every whimper from Rodney's mouth wrapped itself around John's heart like the loudest declaration of love was only John's stupid fault.
He wished he could get up and make a run for it. He'd find some excuse to get out without making Rodney feel abandoned. He was pretty damn good at that usually. But right now he had nowhere to hide, so he buried his face in Rodney's neck and just held on.
Rodney stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.
John held on even tighter. He didn't know how to deal with Rodney's affection.
"Let's never stop," Rodney said quietly. John held his breath when Rodney continued, "I know we could go back and pretend nothing happened, but let's not do that."
John took a deep breath. His heart started beating more quickly. He didn't even know what Rodney was saying. Was Rodney suggesting that they keep up the recreational fucking or did he mean more?
"Please," Rodney said.
"I..." was all that John managed in reply.
"I know you want it," Rodney said. "I mean I think I know. This isn't just sex for you is it?"
John panicked. Rodney didn't seriously expect him to talk about his feelings, did he?
"It isn't for me," Rodney said, and that made John finally lift his face to look at him. "I was attracted to you from the first time I saw you," Rodney continued. "I'm not saying it was love at first sight, but there was something there-always."
John didn't know what to say, so he only squeezed Rodney in encouragement.
"I wanted...I always wanted more on some level," Rodney went on. "But then the thing with Chaya happened, and we became friends. I've had sex with guys before but never... My serious relationships were always with women. That's what I saw for my future."
Future? John didn't dare to even contemplate a future with Rodney. Whenever he'd started making plans in a relationship, things had begun to fall apart. Though now he couldn't help imagining it. Growing old with Rodney by his side. His heart ached.
"I don't know why I kept fighting this," Rodney said almost to himself. "Thanking my beautiful wife at an award ceremony was just a stupid fantasy. There was never a good reason that it couldn't have been you."
"Rodney," John said quietly, unable to put his feelings into words.
"I love you, John," Rodney said.
John leaned forward and pressed his lips on Rodney's, putting all his feelings into the kiss. It was only when Rodney kissed back, openly, passionately, that John let go of the fear and the need to keep this under control. They kissed what felt like forever, and when they finally pulled apart, John was overwhelmed with emotion.
"I..." he started again, unable to continue.
"I know," Rodney said, stroking his cheek. "And I know you have a hard time saying it. I would be lying if I said I don't ever need to hear it, but you can take your time. I'm a patient man."
John snorted.
"What?" Rodney said. "Anyone who's with you needs the patience of a saint."
"Pot. Kettle," John said.
"Hey, I'm easy. Keep me fed and sexually satisfied and let me do my work, and I'm happy," Rodney said.
"Didn't work with Keller, did it?" John couldn't help pointing out.
"Love me the way I am," Rodney added seriously.
"I do," John said, his arms tightening around Rodney.
"I know," Rodney said, swallowing. "But I let my own narrow view of my future dictate my life. I'm sorry."
"Don't," John said. "We all... Sometimes we do things that seem right at the time..."
"...but turn out to be really wrong in retrospect," Rodney finished for him. "Like walking into a cave that generates enough energy to blow up a whole planet."
"You couldn't have known that," John reminded him.
"That's true," Rodney agreed. "We still destroyed their planet."
"Yes," John said. "And we'll help them as much as we can."
"We could do more if they let us out," Rodney said.
"You want to start complaining again?" John asked with a grin.
"I'm just saying." Rodney pouted only a bit.
"And here I thought being held captive together was the best thing that could have happened to us," John said.
"It was!" Rodney quickly said. "It definitely was." He leaned forward to kiss John. "But now that we've settled things, it would be nice to get out."
"Yes," John said. "But I doubt it's going to happen." He sighed. Then one corner of his mouth turned up. "We'll just have to make the best of it."
Rodney smirked back. "I think we'll manage."
"Definitely. So you like being ordered around?" John asked, moving one hand down to Rodney's ass.
Rodney spluttered and turned red.
John grinned. Maybe a bit more time alone with Rodney and no responsibilities wasn't such a bad thing.
**
Poll