TEAM MCKAY: kiss and tell, "Kiss and Tell: A conversation with the great Dr. Rodney McKay"
Title: Kiss and Tell: A conversation with the great Dr. Rodney McKay
Author: fawkesielady_ed
Team: McKay
Prompt: kiss and tell
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Out magazine reporter Arthur Stewart is fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Dr. Rodney McKay.
Notes: Written for McShep_Match 2011 Team McKay. This story changes tenses and POV's on purpose. The first person perspective and Present tense is Rodney and the reporter speaking to one another. The third person POV and past tense is Rodney's memories in response to whatever was said previously. The tense/POV/scene changes after ~~~. Also, Arthur Stewart, the reporter, belongs to the creators of the movie Velvet Goldmine. There is no cross over with the movie, I just used the reporters name.
I'd also like to give a special thanks to my beta, who will be named after the reveal.
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Kiss and Tell: A conversation with the great Dr. Rodney McKay
An OUT magazine exclusive
By: Arthur Stewart
The living room is immaculate but distinctively masculine. There is a model airplane in the corner perched high on top of a bookshelf that's filled with physics text books as well as comic books and Star War novels. The DVD stand sitting beneath the large wall mounted flat screen is an eclectic mix of SciFi and Horror with the occasional romantic comedy thrown in for good measure. The Princess Bride either holds a special place or is the most recently watched as it is rested on the top of the stand. The fact that the case is just short of being closed leads me to believe it's the latter.
In the corner opposite of the aforementioned bookshelf are two recliners, one a soft brown and the other black. Between the chairs is an end table and this is obviously the most used area of the house. The chairs are well loved; the material of the seat and arms slightly lighter than the rest. There are soaked in rings on the end table that suggest this is the spot for morning coffee in this household. The brown chair is more used than the black and the coffee rings beside the black chair have faded.
I'm sitting on the couch in the center of the living room. At the end of the coffee table in front of me, in a massive and very comfortable looking chair is Dr. Rodney McKay, looking at me as if I'm wasting his time. I probably am wasting his time, but he's invited me for this interview and I am so amazingly honored to be in the room with a Nobel Prize winner that I'm struck speechless for a moment.
"Aren't you supposed to be asking me things?" Dr. McKay asks and I chuckle and nod. The ice having been broken, I clear my throat and begin the interview process.
"Thank you for inviting OUT magazine into your home Dr. McKay."
"Please, we're going to be here for awhile, Arthur, you can call me Rodney."
Chuckling I shake my head, "I've heard horror stories about you, Rodney, but you don't seem to be the monster with the giant all-consuming ego."
Rodney laughs and it's a light, good natured sound and I can't help but smile. "You've talked to Kavanaugh haven't you?"
I duck my head and nod, "I've spoken to just about everyone from the original mission and a few from the second round. General Evan Lorne can't seem to say enough good things about you."
Rodney sighs and nods lightly. "Lorne's a good man."
"Yes, he is," I agree.
"But, I've grown out of my monster days, although my ego is still all-consuming and you can feel free to stroke it. I've learned that people are going to be idiots and everyone with a degree in some sort of science is always going to think that they're geniuses. People seem to have lost the definition of a true genius. At least I don't have to work with them anymore, as a matter of fact, that's probably why I've mellowed out a little in my old age."
"Well, I certainly like the man I see."
"Thank you," Rodney says with a small smile.
"Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty, shall we? Dr. Rodney McKay is a household name these days. After the declassification of the Stargate program and the Atlantis mission, you got tons of glory. You deserved it of course, and after you won your first Nobel, the sales of your first book sky rocketed and just about every talk show on the planet wanted you."
Rodney shakes his head at the memory and smiles. "Yeah, that was a trying time. I was still working for the Stargate program at the time and things just sort of snowballed. I had turned down several invites for interviews and talk shows. But now that I'm not working all the time it's a little easier."
"Right. But everyone knows all that, what I'm here to learn about is you. I want to know the real Dr. Rodney McKay. The man that saved the world hundreds of times, fought alien space vampires and shared his bed with a handsome military commander. I don't know how many people in the world know that you're gay, and it's obvious that you weren't trying to hide it, not once DADT had been repealed anyway. But you also haven't gone out of your way to make it known. In fact, when I contacted you for this interview, I wasn't sure if you were gay. For all I knew, you and Sheppard were just really close friends."
Rodney nods, "we were. That's how it started, just two guys in a distant galaxy. I'm not sure why or how we became such good friends, we were just drawn together."
"Do you remember when you started becoming more?"
Rodney cocks his head and looks up at the ceiling as if trying to remember, but everything I've heard about their relationship leads me to believe that he knows exactly when they started on that road.
"Well, it started for me a little earlier than it did for John. For me, it was when John had that Iratus bug on his neck. We were stuck in the Jumper, the Jumper was wedged in the Stargate and the bug was slowly sucking John's life out. We were on the radio with Carson and Ford and Teyla were trying to get the bug off. I just looked at John and thought, 'I'm not sure I'll be able to live without him.' It was weird after that for awhile because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was in love with that man, but he still just wanted to be friends."
"Hopefully that didn't last too long. Do you know when it changed for him?"
"He'd mentioned it several times. He said it was after we went to the fog planet and were tricked into believing we'd gated home. He said that as he was 'living his normal life' it hit him that I wasn't there and he felt incomplete."
"That's romantic."
Rodney got a small smile on his face and nodded again. "John was very romantic. He never let anyone else know of course, but I saw it."
"So it was fairly early in the expedition that you guys became partners?"
"It was during that first year, yes. It was wonderful and horrible, exciting and terrifying. The time we had alone together was amazing, John was an unbelievable lover. But then we'd no sooner step out of the shower then we'd have to hurry off to fight the Wraith or the Genii. Every time we were off world, I was terrified that he'd be killed. He was a daredevil after all, and that was hell on my nerves. Then at the end of the year, I thought my life had come to an end when I realized that John had gone on a suicide mission, flying the Jumper carrying the nuclear bomb into the Wraith Hive ship. I just... I couldn't breathe, my vision was tunneled, focused on that little blinking dot on the monitor as it flew closer and closer to the big dot and then... it was gone. I don't remember much after that, I just sat down and buried my face in my hands."
That story combined with the look on Rodney's face that says he'd just relived that feeling is absolutely heartbreaking. Part of me wants to reach out and pull the doctor into a tight hug. Instead, I push on, looking for happier times. "Obviously John didn't die, which is great. Tell me about some of the better times in your relationship."
Rodney nods, looking grateful and smiles. "I can do that."
~~~
Rodney melted a little as John wrapped his arms around his shoulders.
"Trust me, Rodney," he said in his comfortable drawl, "you're gonna love this."
Rodney wanted to believe him, but couldn't help remembering that the last time John said that they ended up being chased by angry natives on a planet they thought was uninhabited. He smiled and nodded, kissing John deeply before pulling away and sitting on the bed in their hotel room.
"I'm not sure about that, John. You know how I am about things like that."
"You don't have any problems riding in the Jumpers and they're high up," John argued.
"Yes, but they're not being held up by metal rods that have been sitting in the weather for ages being rained on and baked by the sun, frozen and thawed then rained on again. I don't trust Ferris wheels, John and I never will."
"Yes you will."
~~~
Rodney is sitting there, a little glassy eyed with a nostalgic smile on his face. I almost don't want to interrupt him, but he's paused in his story and I really want to know the ending. "How'd that turn out?" I ask and Rodney jerks a little, as if the memory was still playing in his head and he'd forgotten I was there. A moment later I'm delighted to be treated to a small glimpse of the man Rodney is said to have been.
"Well I'm here, so obviously it didn't break." His expression softens and he apologizes, "It was great. We rode his second favorite ride in the world a total of ten times that day, and spent the rest of the week wrapped around each other in our hotel room."
"You said the Ferris wheel was John's second favorite ride. What was his first?"
"Me of course."
I can't keep from laughing and thankfully Rodney laughs with me. "I guess I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but you shouldn't feel bad, it's the truth, but I kind of lead you into it," he says as his laughter tapers off.
"When in your relationship was that?"
"Well, we'd come back to Earth for our vacation since our first vacation ended with us diving through the gate for cover from the arrows being shot at us. We'd been together at that point for about a year and a half."
"So, everyone knows about John, the professional man, the military leader of an expedition in another galaxy but I'd like to get your perspective on him. Who was John Sheppard to you?"
Rodney looks thoughtful for a moment, almost distant as he thinks about his answer.
"He was my best friend, and my lover. It sounds sappy I know, but he was my rock, my lifeline. I can't even count the number of times I would have been killed off world if it weren't for him. But not only that, I'd have been insane inside that first year if I hadn't had him. He just got me, and that was weird because no one else ever has. He just knew what it was that I needed and how to best deliver it. For instance..."
~~~
Rodney walked into John's quarters and paced the length of the room until John finally walked out of the bathroom. He was soaking wet and completely naked, but Rodney paid that no attention and just dove head first into his rant.
"I swear, John, those... those... infants down in the labs are going to drive me absolutely insane! The only reason you weren't plagued with cold showers for the past week was because I put an encrypted code on the controls for this section of the city."
"Ah," John said and leaned against the door frame of the bathroom. "So that's why you've been here more often in the last week. You have cold water."
"What?! I... no! John... how could..."
John put his hands on Rodney's shoulders and pushed him back toward the bed. "Rodney, I was only kidding. I know why you've been here, and I've enjoyed it as much as you have."
"It's not all about sex, John," Rodney spat but sat on the bed when John urged him to.
"I know that too, that wasn't even what I was talking about. I was talking about the company, the long hours of just being together. The making out was good... and the sex was phenomenal."
Rodney sighed and raised his arms as John lifted his shirt. He turned long ways on the bed and laid on his stomach when John encouraged him to do so. A moment later he felt the bed dip and then John was sitting on his butt, kneading Rodney's shoulders.
"Damn, you're tight," John said and chuckled. "But not in a good way."
"Ah, yeah, like that babe," Rodney said, not sure where the word came from. They'd never called each other babe or darling or any other of those stupid pet names couples usually had for each other. But this time, it just fit and it fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. John seemed to have liked it though, he hummed approvingly and moved his hands down working the knots out of Rodney's back.
~~~
"And that was it. He just massaged my neck, back and shoulders until I fell asleep." Rodney said through a smile. "I woke up the next morning and didn't remember John removing my shoes and pants, but I was sleeping on his bed in my boxers. I felt better than I had in months and it was all because of him."
I nod and smile, "So John was completely naked and massaged you into a coma."
Rodney laughs and shrugs, "That's how it happened, if we'd have had sex, I wouldn't have had boxers on when I woke up."
"That's an excellent point," I concede. "So, he was just in tune to you and your needs? Some would say that makes him your soul mate."
Rodney hums and tips his head to the side for a second, "some would, but I'm not sure I buy into that whole thing. He was definitely something though, something good."
"He was strong and loving and he just knew what you needed and when you needed it. Sounds like he would have made a perfect husband and father if her were straight." I feel a little like a dick for saying that, but it was one of those things the company wants us to throw in somewhere and this seemed like a good enough spot.
Rodney chuckles making me take a relieved breath. "Yeah, but luckily for me he wasn't straight. And we talked about kids a few times over the years, but we could never agree."
At that moment a cream colored Siamese cat jumped onto Rodney's lap, put its paws on his chest and stared at him. "Oh right," Rodney says and strokes the cat's long back. "Lunch time." He puts the cat on the floor and gets up. I follow him into the kitchen.
"Interesting décor," I say as I take in the rustic ranch decorations. It looks like I stepped from a modern day house into an old log cabin.
"Yeah, all John," Rodney says as he opens a lower cabinet and pulls out a shiny purple bag of cat food. "This shit is expensive as hell, but it's good for their coat and... believe it or not, it makes their shit a little less stinky." There are three small metal bowls stacked on the counter and Rodney lines them up before shaking the bag. Another cat comes limping into the kitchen, this one large and black and missing one front leg. Rodney fills the three bowls and puts them on a blue and green place mat on the floor. I keep looking for another cat to come running, but it ever does. Rodney puts the cat food away and sits at the table across from me.
"Yeah, I hated this kitchen for years, but I gave John free reign in here since he was the cook. I burn water and made that fact perfectly clear from the very beginning. But we weren't talking about kitchens... what did you ask me?"
"You said you and John had talked about kids," I remind him and he nods.
"Right, well, we couldn't agree. He wanted them and I didn't. I can't say that I dislike kids... well, not all kids, but I just don't do well with them. They scream and shout and get dirty hand prints all over everything and... it disrupts my concentration. We eventually decided to put that conversation on hold and we got the cats instead."
"They're beautiful animals, I have two myself and their personalities are like night and day."
Rodney laughs at that and it sounds light like the first one I'd heard. "Yeah, these guys are... they're something else." He points to the Siamese that was so adamant about his food, "that's Arthur, there's a funny but entirely too embarrassing to go into story about that name. He's a spoiled little prince and so very demanding. You saw how he was when I was a mere five minutes late with his food, it's ridiculous, but I love him. The black one, that's Cash, John's cat. He named it that not only because it's black, but he had some long drawn out story about how Johnny Cash had overcome his "disability" of drugs and alcoholism and how it would be an inspiring name for a three legged cat."
At that moment a small white fur ball streaked through the kitchen and stopped at the food bowl. Once it was being still I could see that the cat was dripping wet. "Is it raining?" I ask, struck dumb by the sight of a wet cat.
Rodney chuckles again and shakes his head. "No, she was probably in the pool when I put the food down."
"The pool? Cats hate water," I tell him.
"Most cats," he corrects me. "That's Psycho, originally named Daisy for the daisy-esque black spot on her chest. She's a Turkish Van, but of course I didn't know that when we got her. I just saw this tiny little mostly white kitten and I fell deeply and madly in love with her. Oh she's gorgeous, I said. This little bitty kitten with the flower shaped black spot and I was smitten from the second I saw her. Then we brought her home...
~~~
Rodney moaned and pressed John's front into the shower wall, attaching his mouth to the curve in John's neck. John hissed in a breath as Rodney sucked hard, he reached back, digging his fingertips into Rodney's hip. Rodney moaned again and pressed his hips forward, grinding his erection into one of John's ass cheeks.
"I'm not having dinner with your brother for another hundred fucking years," Rodney said once he'd pulled his mouth off John's neck, leaving a deep purple bruise.
"You won't have to, Rodney," John promised. "My brother is an asshole, and we're done with him. He's known about you for ages now, there's no reason for him to have said those things about us."
"I'm not talking about your brother anymore," Rodney said and turned John to face him. "I don't want to talk about anything, because I want you to fuck me stupid, right here right now."
John exhaled and seemed to go weak in the knees for a second. "I can do that," he said and opened the shower door just enough to reach out to get into the medicine cabinet.
"Holy fuck!" Rodney shouted and cupped his hands over his dick and balls.
"What?! What!?" John shouted back and turned to see what was wrong. Once John saw the kitten in the water he joined Rodney in cupping the valuable bits of their bodies. "How'd she get in here?" John whispered as if talking loud would make the kitten suddenly realize that she was in the water.
"She jumped in when you opened the shower door," Rodney whispered back, because the cat hadn't attacked them yet, so he couldn't find a flaw in John's whispering theory.
"Well I had to get the lube," John scolded.
"I'm not blaming you, John, I'm just answering your question." Rodney's voice was apparently too loud because the cat looked up at him. He sucked in a breath and prepared for the trip to the emergency room to repair the shredded skin, but the kitten just meowed and started rubbing Rodney's legs.
"That cat is a psycho," John said and opened the shower door and threw the cat out.
~~~
"So that's when her name was changed?" I asked, still chuckling a bit at the story.
"Well no, not right then, but John kept calling her psycho, and pretty soon I just sort of stopped calling her Daisy."
"That's crazy, a cat who likes water... I'd have never guessed there was such a thing."
"Well neither had we, until we found one. You want some coffee?"
The change in subject caught me off guard for a second, but I quickly recovered and accepted his offer. A few minutes later we were back out in the living room only now we were sitting in the recliners. Rodney sipped his coffee and sat the cup down on the end table, making a new coffee ring. "What were you saying?" he asks.
I sit my cup down on the faded rings on the table and look at Rodney. "Have you ever thought about changing your mind about having kids?"
Rodney hums and looks over my shoulder. I turn to see a framed picture hanging on the wall of John and Rodney with a little girl. My heart begins to ache a little and I hope I haven't touched a tender spot in Rodney's life.
"That's Mattie, my niece," Rodney says and my chest instantly loosens, apparently Rodney sees my face change because he asks, "What? Did you think John and I adopted a kid and something happened to it?"
I chuckle, simply because the man had seen right into me and pulled out my thought. "It had crossed my mind, but I'm very happy that isn't the case," I say and take another drink of my coffee.
Rodney smiles and I feel a little less embarrassed. "Jeanie, my sister," Rodney begins and picks his cup back up. "She offered to carry a baby for us. Her exact words were... "you can jerk John off into a cup, they'll suck up all the Johnny Jrs into a turkey baster and if my egg and his sperm decide to get it on, you'll have a baby about ten months later."
I laugh at both the words and the imitation of Rodney's sister's voice.
"The imagery alone turned us both off to that idea, although I think John kept it as a possibility."
"You could have adopted. The world is really making progress with gay rights. It's slow going of course, but it's getting there. I know of quite a few gay couples that have adopted, both men and women."
Rodney just smiles a crooked half smile and I think I've over stepped my boundary. I quickly apologize.
"No no, don't worry about it," Rodney says, but there's something different in his voice, and I can't quite place it. "The time for that has passed. And quite frankly, I'm happy we didn't adopt. It would have been a long and stressful process, the late night calls for a kid that needs a foster family only to have the kid pulled away once it's gotten attached. I'm not a sadist, I don't like to see people hurt unnecessarily. Not to mention, if we had adopted, I'd have gotten stuck with a kid I didn't really want after John had his heart attack."
And just like that, I feel like a massive asshole. Things start clicking, the faded coffee rings, how the brown chair is more used, the tense Rodney uses as he talks about John. I swallow hard, not sure what to say now. I can't believe I hadn't noticed the absence of John in the house. I suppose I could have thought he was just out, but why hadn't I asked about that? Then I realize that every time I'd seen Rodney on TV over the past year he was alone, when John used to always stand beside him.
~~~
Rodney stood and walked over to the podium, giving a small wave to the audience as he did. John was sitting in the front row, beside him were Ronon and Teyla, Lorne and Zelenka, his friends, present to see him win his second Nobel.
Rodney stood behind the podium and looked out at the crowd as the cheers died down.
"I can't begin to tell you how honored I am to stand here before you. My life's dream was to win the Nobel, that dream fell away when I started doing the top secret work for the Stargate Program. But now, finally the program has been declassified and I have won not once but twice. Of course, I can't take all the credit, the people in my life are amazing and I wouldn't be here today without each and every one of them. I'd especially like to thank the love of my life, my partner, Brigadier General John Sheppard."
~~~
"John's face went ghostly pale, well, as pale as a man that dark can get anyway. He stood up and waved at me as his face was splashed on the giant screen behind me. He shook his head and shouted over the crowd, 'you didn't tell me you were going to do that!' I laughed and nodded. 'Oh yes I did, you just weren't listening.' He blew me a kiss and the crowd went absolutely insane with applause. That was one of the greatest days in my life. He fucked me into the mattress that night, I was sore for two days after."
I'm ignoring the stinging in my eyes as I barely keep the tears at bay. I'm grateful to Rodney for noticing my floundering a moment ago and saving me from embarrassing myself, which I would have done. Sometimes, when things take me off guard I get a terrible case of foot in mouth disease. I quickly thumb through my mental file cabinet looking for the questions I keep on reserve for when my original next question is no longer appropriate. "So, John was promoted even after it had become known that you two had been in a relationship for nearly ten years before Don't Ask, Don't Tell had been repealed?" It's a stupid question I know, but at least it's something coming out of my mouth besides a blubbering apology for having made Rodney suffer for the past hour.
"Yeah," Rodney says and his tone tells me he thinks it's a stupid question too. "He couldn't be punished for breaking a rule once the rule had been abolished. Not to mention, even if he could have, General O'Neill would have stepped up for him. He'd been in a relationship with Daniel Jackson for almost thirty years at that point. Even if the IOA or the US government had wanted to try something, they wouldn't have gotten very far. Especially when Jack was on a first name basis with the president and his, at that point still secret... boyfriend."
I laugh, finally feeling a little bit back to my normal self. "Looks like gays are taking over the world, doesn't it?"
Rodney laughs and shakes his head. "It wouldn't be so bad if we were. There'd sure as hell be less hatred in the world... except for the hatred of pure unadulterated idiots."
I can't keep from laughing, and as much as I know that it's time to start wrapping this interview up, I just don't want to stop talking to Rodney so I press on. "You know, I was one of the first people on Atlantis when she came back to earth and was opened up for tours. I knew it was only going to be a temporary thing and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss it."
"Oh God, don't remind me of that. The tours were the worst point in my life, no offence. I wasn't able to get any work done. Civilians traipsing through my lab all the time, touching things... although, we did find a few natural gene carriers. They were trained and offered jobs at Area 51. You can never have too many gene carriers."
"Yeah, I was tested, three times, but it always came back negative. Anyway, I walked through the halls of the ancient city, looking at the beautiful windows, the ocean surrounding it. The doors that weren't locked would just slide open when I touched the thing at the side of the door. It was utterly amazing, and I tried to imagine what it would have been like if I'd been on the original mission. If I'd been there to explore the city for the first time in ten thousand years. What was it like? In the beginning either before or after you and John got together?"
~~~
Rodney swept his flashlight beam across the littered hallway and shrugged. "Looks good to me," he said and called to order Chuck Campbell to turn the power on in that section. The lights came on and he and John both squinted at the sudden brightness.
"Don't go too far, John, I might need you to activate something," Rodney said as John started wandering around the room they'd just walked into.
"Don't worry, Rodney, I'll be here. I'm just looking around."
Rodney heard the soft hiss of a door opening followed by, "Oh my God, Rodney. Come look at this."
Rodney didn't hesitate; John's awed tone told him that whatever he'd found was probably pretty interesting. He walked through the door and out into the ocean. He gasped in a breath at the complete sensory displacement. The walls were clear, and they were standing in the ocean. Fish were swimming around and under their little room. They were beautiful, nothing like the fish from earth, such bright colors. Their tail fins flowing out behind them like silk, their eyes didn't look like fish eyes, they looked thoughtful, as if they remembered a different race of people standing in this room looking out at them.
"Oh my god, John. This room is..."
"I know," John replied and took a step closer, until their shoulders touched.
~~~
"We never told anyone about that room," Rodney says, looking a little guilty. "It was ours. We weren't together as a couple when we found it, but we still kept it secret. And when we did get together, we'd go down there sometimes, and spend hours just looking out into the ocean and the beautiful fish. We'd make love to our aquatic audience. The fish seemed to gather around that room as if to shield us from whatever else might be out there watching, and I could swear that at the height of our passion, some of the fish would change color. It was beautiful, I think that's what I miss the most about that city."
I brush away the single tear that managed to escape and I smile. "It sounds amazing."
"It truly was."
I take a deep breath, finally feeling like my normal self and knowing that my boss will have my head mounted to his wall if I don't ask this question. It's my last question anyway, and I kind of hope Rodney throws me out of the house instead of answering it. "Tell me about John's heart attack."
Rodney's face goes slack and expressionless. He looks away from me and I don't have to follow his gaze to know that he's looking at the picture of the two of them standing in front of a grove of trees, hand in hand, both in tuxes... their wedding day. After a moment, Rodney looks back at me and sighs.
"It started on Atlantis, well before either of us retired from the program," Rodney says. "We'd be walking and he'd get a little flutter in his chest. He said it was nothing, and I chose to believe him. I hate myself a little for that decision now, but there's nothing to be done. Then it progressed, he'd wake up at night and his chest would be tight and he had trouble breathing. I always took him to the infirmary and had him checked out. Keller always said it was just stress, nerves, one of the side effects of having our job. She said the cut down on the stress, and when I told her that stress was a daily occurrence in our field of work, she actually suggested having more sex. Now John and I have never had a problem in the bedroom, our sex lives were healthier than any other couple could ever hope for. More sex wasn't the answer. John didn't trust her, not since she almost let me die that time just because she liked that I was being nice, but she was the only doctor available. We could have brought him to earth and had him checked out, but John refused. He asked what we'd tell the doctor when he asked when it started and how long it'd been going on and what causes the level of stress to be so high. That was before the program was declassified, so I couldn't exactly argue with him. It went on for almost a year, and then Carson came back for a visit."
"You mean the clone of Dr. Carson Beckett?" I ask.
"Well, technically yes, he's a clone, but to us, he's just Carson. He remembered all the things that the real Carson would have remembered, he was just as knowledgeable about medical problems as well as everything else. He was Carson Beckett and that's all that mattered to us."
"Of course, I apologize."
"No need. Anyway, he came back for a visit. He didn't want to spend all his time in the infirmary and everyone had little things they wanted Carson to look at. No one was able to trust Keller after what we call the Shrine incident. He turned everyone down, telling them that Jennifer was a competent doctor and that he didn't want to step on her toes. I told him about John, what was happening and what Keller had continually said, and that the problem hadn't gone away. He threw John under a scanner within fifteen minutes of his arrival on the city..."
~~~
"What?" John asked, and Rodney could hear the fear in his voice. "What do you mean?"
Carson sighed and held out the printed photos of the scanner images. "Your heart is weak, much weaker than it should be at your age. You're an active man, you've lived a healthy life, and there is no reason for your heart to be this weak. Having said that, I took the liberty of running some tests."
"And?" Rodney asked with a little more venom in his voice than he'd intended.
"And," Carson said, glaring slightly toward Rodney, "all evidence points to Todd."
"Todd?" John and Rodney say together.
"What's he got to do with it?" John asked.
"He drained you to with thirty minutes of your life, John, then he shoved it all back in. You seemed so healthy and normal afterward that we never even thought to do any kind of extensive testing on you. Look, we know the effect the Wraith enzyme has on the body, we know that the Wraith inject it at the time of feeding so that the human they're feeding on doesn't die automatically from the shock. We also know what happens when a person overdoses on the enzyme, Ford is the perfect example of that. What we don't know, however, is what effect it has when the process is done in reverse. We should have run more tests, John, and it's my fault that we didn't. I should have looked at whether or not there is a second enzyme, I should have done massive testing on your organs, I should have observed you closely for several months after that. Now though, I'm afraid we might be too late to reverse the problem. The best we can hope for is to stall it, maybe even stop it. We'll just have to treat you like a heart patient. The running is good, maybe not running for so long and so fast, and you might want to make a few improvements to your diet. I'll make you a list. I'll also make a list for Keller with explicit instructions for your care, as well as for the running of my infirmary. I'll also contact Atlantis every time I make a planet change so that you can contact me if she deviates from my instructions even a fraction of an iota."
"Alright, doc. I appreciate you looking into this," John said.
"There's no need to thank me, John, you and Rodney were my first patients in this galaxy, I feel a sort of ownership of your health. Just keep me informed, please."
"Will do," Rodney agreed and led John out of the infirmary.
~~~
"Things were fine after that," Rodney says as he sets his empty coffee cup on the end table. "Keller was always a little snippy after that, I think she felt like I had undermined her authority by going to Carson, but John would have died there on Atlantis if I hadn't."
"So when did John have his heart attack?" I ask, even though I don't really want to know how long Rodney has been alone.
"Last year, we were in bed, he woke up in the middle of the night complaining of severe chest pain. I got up and took him to the hospital, I'd have rather had Carson there, but he was still in Pegasus and we didn't have that kind of time."
He gets quiet after that, and I want to say something else, but I don't know what it is I should say. "Alright, I think that pretty much covers everything. I want to thank you for-"
"You're in my chair."
I start at the unexpected voice and I turn toward the door, John Sheppard is standing there with a bag of groceries in one arm.
"Oh thank god," I say before I can even think to censor myself.
"What?" Rodney asks and chuckles. "Did you think he was dead? I wouldn't have given you this interview if he had died. I'm not sure I'd still be here if John died."
"I didn't... I wasn't sure. I didn't think so at first, but after I told you about the adoption thing, it sort of... well it sounded like he might have been." I'm stammering and I know it, but the relief I feel at John's presence is overwhelming and I'm utterly happy that John is still alive. "Anyway, Rodney, as I was saying, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it and I know our readers will too."
"Not a problem, Arthur, Thanks for coming by."
"You're name is Arthur?" John asks me with a chuckle and I nod. He looks at Rodney and gets a bright smile on his face, "You're a good friend, Arthur," he says.
"Um..." I can't help but let my confusion show.
"I hadn't told him that, John," Rodney chides and John just laughs and comes over to the chair and plops down on Rodney's knee.
"One thing," I say and drain the last of my coffee. "The coffee rings on this side of the table..."
"I had to stop drinking coffee," John says. "The heart attack, you know. It was a struggle, but I managed. I also run more than I sit, which helps, although I can't run as fast anymore. I'm starting to feel my age."
"Finally," Rodney says and John yips as if Rodney has just pinched his ass. "I can keep up with you now."
John smiles and leans in, planting a deep kiss on Rodney's mouth, and that's my cue to leave.
"Again, thank you for your time, Rodney. John, I'm unbelievably happy that you're still alive. Maybe I can come back and do an interview with you both sometime."
They finally break apart and John nods. "Sure thing, anytime, Arthur, just call first." He gets up and pulls Rodney out of the chair. "I trust you can show yourself out," he says as he leads Rodney toward the staircase.
I chuckle and nod. "Absolutely. Have fun, I'll lock up."
"You do that," Rodney says and disappears into the upper level of the house.
Poll
Author: fawkesielady_ed
Team: McKay
Prompt: kiss and tell
Pairing: McKay/Sheppard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Summary: Out magazine reporter Arthur Stewart is fortunate enough to be granted an interview with Dr. Rodney McKay.
Notes: Written for McShep_Match 2011 Team McKay. This story changes tenses and POV's on purpose. The first person perspective and Present tense is Rodney and the reporter speaking to one another. The third person POV and past tense is Rodney's memories in response to whatever was said previously. The tense/POV/scene changes after ~~~. Also, Arthur Stewart, the reporter, belongs to the creators of the movie Velvet Goldmine. There is no cross over with the movie, I just used the reporters name.
I'd also like to give a special thanks to my beta, who will be named after the reveal.
Once you've read the story, please take a moment to vote in the poll below. Ratings go from 1 (low) to 9 (high), so all you need to do is enter a single number in that range into each text entry box. You'll be able to see the prompt in the header above.
More details about the voting procedure can be found here.
Kiss and Tell: A conversation with the great Dr. Rodney McKay
An OUT magazine exclusive
By: Arthur Stewart
The living room is immaculate but distinctively masculine. There is a model airplane in the corner perched high on top of a bookshelf that's filled with physics text books as well as comic books and Star War novels. The DVD stand sitting beneath the large wall mounted flat screen is an eclectic mix of SciFi and Horror with the occasional romantic comedy thrown in for good measure. The Princess Bride either holds a special place or is the most recently watched as it is rested on the top of the stand. The fact that the case is just short of being closed leads me to believe it's the latter.
In the corner opposite of the aforementioned bookshelf are two recliners, one a soft brown and the other black. Between the chairs is an end table and this is obviously the most used area of the house. The chairs are well loved; the material of the seat and arms slightly lighter than the rest. There are soaked in rings on the end table that suggest this is the spot for morning coffee in this household. The brown chair is more used than the black and the coffee rings beside the black chair have faded.
I'm sitting on the couch in the center of the living room. At the end of the coffee table in front of me, in a massive and very comfortable looking chair is Dr. Rodney McKay, looking at me as if I'm wasting his time. I probably am wasting his time, but he's invited me for this interview and I am so amazingly honored to be in the room with a Nobel Prize winner that I'm struck speechless for a moment.
"Aren't you supposed to be asking me things?" Dr. McKay asks and I chuckle and nod. The ice having been broken, I clear my throat and begin the interview process.
"Thank you for inviting OUT magazine into your home Dr. McKay."
"Please, we're going to be here for awhile, Arthur, you can call me Rodney."
Chuckling I shake my head, "I've heard horror stories about you, Rodney, but you don't seem to be the monster with the giant all-consuming ego."
Rodney laughs and it's a light, good natured sound and I can't help but smile. "You've talked to Kavanaugh haven't you?"
I duck my head and nod, "I've spoken to just about everyone from the original mission and a few from the second round. General Evan Lorne can't seem to say enough good things about you."
Rodney sighs and nods lightly. "Lorne's a good man."
"Yes, he is," I agree.
"But, I've grown out of my monster days, although my ego is still all-consuming and you can feel free to stroke it. I've learned that people are going to be idiots and everyone with a degree in some sort of science is always going to think that they're geniuses. People seem to have lost the definition of a true genius. At least I don't have to work with them anymore, as a matter of fact, that's probably why I've mellowed out a little in my old age."
"Well, I certainly like the man I see."
"Thank you," Rodney says with a small smile.
"Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty, shall we? Dr. Rodney McKay is a household name these days. After the declassification of the Stargate program and the Atlantis mission, you got tons of glory. You deserved it of course, and after you won your first Nobel, the sales of your first book sky rocketed and just about every talk show on the planet wanted you."
Rodney shakes his head at the memory and smiles. "Yeah, that was a trying time. I was still working for the Stargate program at the time and things just sort of snowballed. I had turned down several invites for interviews and talk shows. But now that I'm not working all the time it's a little easier."
"Right. But everyone knows all that, what I'm here to learn about is you. I want to know the real Dr. Rodney McKay. The man that saved the world hundreds of times, fought alien space vampires and shared his bed with a handsome military commander. I don't know how many people in the world know that you're gay, and it's obvious that you weren't trying to hide it, not once DADT had been repealed anyway. But you also haven't gone out of your way to make it known. In fact, when I contacted you for this interview, I wasn't sure if you were gay. For all I knew, you and Sheppard were just really close friends."
Rodney nods, "we were. That's how it started, just two guys in a distant galaxy. I'm not sure why or how we became such good friends, we were just drawn together."
"Do you remember when you started becoming more?"
Rodney cocks his head and looks up at the ceiling as if trying to remember, but everything I've heard about their relationship leads me to believe that he knows exactly when they started on that road.
"Well, it started for me a little earlier than it did for John. For me, it was when John had that Iratus bug on his neck. We were stuck in the Jumper, the Jumper was wedged in the Stargate and the bug was slowly sucking John's life out. We were on the radio with Carson and Ford and Teyla were trying to get the bug off. I just looked at John and thought, 'I'm not sure I'll be able to live without him.' It was weird after that for awhile because I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was in love with that man, but he still just wanted to be friends."
"Hopefully that didn't last too long. Do you know when it changed for him?"
"He'd mentioned it several times. He said it was after we went to the fog planet and were tricked into believing we'd gated home. He said that as he was 'living his normal life' it hit him that I wasn't there and he felt incomplete."
"That's romantic."
Rodney got a small smile on his face and nodded again. "John was very romantic. He never let anyone else know of course, but I saw it."
"So it was fairly early in the expedition that you guys became partners?"
"It was during that first year, yes. It was wonderful and horrible, exciting and terrifying. The time we had alone together was amazing, John was an unbelievable lover. But then we'd no sooner step out of the shower then we'd have to hurry off to fight the Wraith or the Genii. Every time we were off world, I was terrified that he'd be killed. He was a daredevil after all, and that was hell on my nerves. Then at the end of the year, I thought my life had come to an end when I realized that John had gone on a suicide mission, flying the Jumper carrying the nuclear bomb into the Wraith Hive ship. I just... I couldn't breathe, my vision was tunneled, focused on that little blinking dot on the monitor as it flew closer and closer to the big dot and then... it was gone. I don't remember much after that, I just sat down and buried my face in my hands."
That story combined with the look on Rodney's face that says he'd just relived that feeling is absolutely heartbreaking. Part of me wants to reach out and pull the doctor into a tight hug. Instead, I push on, looking for happier times. "Obviously John didn't die, which is great. Tell me about some of the better times in your relationship."
Rodney nods, looking grateful and smiles. "I can do that."
~~~
Rodney melted a little as John wrapped his arms around his shoulders.
"Trust me, Rodney," he said in his comfortable drawl, "you're gonna love this."
Rodney wanted to believe him, but couldn't help remembering that the last time John said that they ended up being chased by angry natives on a planet they thought was uninhabited. He smiled and nodded, kissing John deeply before pulling away and sitting on the bed in their hotel room.
"I'm not sure about that, John. You know how I am about things like that."
"You don't have any problems riding in the Jumpers and they're high up," John argued.
"Yes, but they're not being held up by metal rods that have been sitting in the weather for ages being rained on and baked by the sun, frozen and thawed then rained on again. I don't trust Ferris wheels, John and I never will."
"Yes you will."
~~~
Rodney is sitting there, a little glassy eyed with a nostalgic smile on his face. I almost don't want to interrupt him, but he's paused in his story and I really want to know the ending. "How'd that turn out?" I ask and Rodney jerks a little, as if the memory was still playing in his head and he'd forgotten I was there. A moment later I'm delighted to be treated to a small glimpse of the man Rodney is said to have been.
"Well I'm here, so obviously it didn't break." His expression softens and he apologizes, "It was great. We rode his second favorite ride in the world a total of ten times that day, and spent the rest of the week wrapped around each other in our hotel room."
"You said the Ferris wheel was John's second favorite ride. What was his first?"
"Me of course."
I can't keep from laughing and thankfully Rodney laughs with me. "I guess I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but you shouldn't feel bad, it's the truth, but I kind of lead you into it," he says as his laughter tapers off.
"When in your relationship was that?"
"Well, we'd come back to Earth for our vacation since our first vacation ended with us diving through the gate for cover from the arrows being shot at us. We'd been together at that point for about a year and a half."
"So, everyone knows about John, the professional man, the military leader of an expedition in another galaxy but I'd like to get your perspective on him. Who was John Sheppard to you?"
Rodney looks thoughtful for a moment, almost distant as he thinks about his answer.
"He was my best friend, and my lover. It sounds sappy I know, but he was my rock, my lifeline. I can't even count the number of times I would have been killed off world if it weren't for him. But not only that, I'd have been insane inside that first year if I hadn't had him. He just got me, and that was weird because no one else ever has. He just knew what it was that I needed and how to best deliver it. For instance..."
~~~
Rodney walked into John's quarters and paced the length of the room until John finally walked out of the bathroom. He was soaking wet and completely naked, but Rodney paid that no attention and just dove head first into his rant.
"I swear, John, those... those... infants down in the labs are going to drive me absolutely insane! The only reason you weren't plagued with cold showers for the past week was because I put an encrypted code on the controls for this section of the city."
"Ah," John said and leaned against the door frame of the bathroom. "So that's why you've been here more often in the last week. You have cold water."
"What?! I... no! John... how could..."
John put his hands on Rodney's shoulders and pushed him back toward the bed. "Rodney, I was only kidding. I know why you've been here, and I've enjoyed it as much as you have."
"It's not all about sex, John," Rodney spat but sat on the bed when John urged him to.
"I know that too, that wasn't even what I was talking about. I was talking about the company, the long hours of just being together. The making out was good... and the sex was phenomenal."
Rodney sighed and raised his arms as John lifted his shirt. He turned long ways on the bed and laid on his stomach when John encouraged him to do so. A moment later he felt the bed dip and then John was sitting on his butt, kneading Rodney's shoulders.
"Damn, you're tight," John said and chuckled. "But not in a good way."
"Ah, yeah, like that babe," Rodney said, not sure where the word came from. They'd never called each other babe or darling or any other of those stupid pet names couples usually had for each other. But this time, it just fit and it fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. John seemed to have liked it though, he hummed approvingly and moved his hands down working the knots out of Rodney's back.
~~~
"And that was it. He just massaged my neck, back and shoulders until I fell asleep." Rodney said through a smile. "I woke up the next morning and didn't remember John removing my shoes and pants, but I was sleeping on his bed in my boxers. I felt better than I had in months and it was all because of him."
I nod and smile, "So John was completely naked and massaged you into a coma."
Rodney laughs and shrugs, "That's how it happened, if we'd have had sex, I wouldn't have had boxers on when I woke up."
"That's an excellent point," I concede. "So, he was just in tune to you and your needs? Some would say that makes him your soul mate."
Rodney hums and tips his head to the side for a second, "some would, but I'm not sure I buy into that whole thing. He was definitely something though, something good."
"He was strong and loving and he just knew what you needed and when you needed it. Sounds like he would have made a perfect husband and father if her were straight." I feel a little like a dick for saying that, but it was one of those things the company wants us to throw in somewhere and this seemed like a good enough spot.
Rodney chuckles making me take a relieved breath. "Yeah, but luckily for me he wasn't straight. And we talked about kids a few times over the years, but we could never agree."
At that moment a cream colored Siamese cat jumped onto Rodney's lap, put its paws on his chest and stared at him. "Oh right," Rodney says and strokes the cat's long back. "Lunch time." He puts the cat on the floor and gets up. I follow him into the kitchen.
"Interesting décor," I say as I take in the rustic ranch decorations. It looks like I stepped from a modern day house into an old log cabin.
"Yeah, all John," Rodney says as he opens a lower cabinet and pulls out a shiny purple bag of cat food. "This shit is expensive as hell, but it's good for their coat and... believe it or not, it makes their shit a little less stinky." There are three small metal bowls stacked on the counter and Rodney lines them up before shaking the bag. Another cat comes limping into the kitchen, this one large and black and missing one front leg. Rodney fills the three bowls and puts them on a blue and green place mat on the floor. I keep looking for another cat to come running, but it ever does. Rodney puts the cat food away and sits at the table across from me.
"Yeah, I hated this kitchen for years, but I gave John free reign in here since he was the cook. I burn water and made that fact perfectly clear from the very beginning. But we weren't talking about kitchens... what did you ask me?"
"You said you and John had talked about kids," I remind him and he nods.
"Right, well, we couldn't agree. He wanted them and I didn't. I can't say that I dislike kids... well, not all kids, but I just don't do well with them. They scream and shout and get dirty hand prints all over everything and... it disrupts my concentration. We eventually decided to put that conversation on hold and we got the cats instead."
"They're beautiful animals, I have two myself and their personalities are like night and day."
Rodney laughs at that and it sounds light like the first one I'd heard. "Yeah, these guys are... they're something else." He points to the Siamese that was so adamant about his food, "that's Arthur, there's a funny but entirely too embarrassing to go into story about that name. He's a spoiled little prince and so very demanding. You saw how he was when I was a mere five minutes late with his food, it's ridiculous, but I love him. The black one, that's Cash, John's cat. He named it that not only because it's black, but he had some long drawn out story about how Johnny Cash had overcome his "disability" of drugs and alcoholism and how it would be an inspiring name for a three legged cat."
At that moment a small white fur ball streaked through the kitchen and stopped at the food bowl. Once it was being still I could see that the cat was dripping wet. "Is it raining?" I ask, struck dumb by the sight of a wet cat.
Rodney chuckles again and shakes his head. "No, she was probably in the pool when I put the food down."
"The pool? Cats hate water," I tell him.
"Most cats," he corrects me. "That's Psycho, originally named Daisy for the daisy-esque black spot on her chest. She's a Turkish Van, but of course I didn't know that when we got her. I just saw this tiny little mostly white kitten and I fell deeply and madly in love with her. Oh she's gorgeous, I said. This little bitty kitten with the flower shaped black spot and I was smitten from the second I saw her. Then we brought her home...
~~~
Rodney moaned and pressed John's front into the shower wall, attaching his mouth to the curve in John's neck. John hissed in a breath as Rodney sucked hard, he reached back, digging his fingertips into Rodney's hip. Rodney moaned again and pressed his hips forward, grinding his erection into one of John's ass cheeks.
"I'm not having dinner with your brother for another hundred fucking years," Rodney said once he'd pulled his mouth off John's neck, leaving a deep purple bruise.
"You won't have to, Rodney," John promised. "My brother is an asshole, and we're done with him. He's known about you for ages now, there's no reason for him to have said those things about us."
"I'm not talking about your brother anymore," Rodney said and turned John to face him. "I don't want to talk about anything, because I want you to fuck me stupid, right here right now."
John exhaled and seemed to go weak in the knees for a second. "I can do that," he said and opened the shower door just enough to reach out to get into the medicine cabinet.
"Holy fuck!" Rodney shouted and cupped his hands over his dick and balls.
"What?! What!?" John shouted back and turned to see what was wrong. Once John saw the kitten in the water he joined Rodney in cupping the valuable bits of their bodies. "How'd she get in here?" John whispered as if talking loud would make the kitten suddenly realize that she was in the water.
"She jumped in when you opened the shower door," Rodney whispered back, because the cat hadn't attacked them yet, so he couldn't find a flaw in John's whispering theory.
"Well I had to get the lube," John scolded.
"I'm not blaming you, John, I'm just answering your question." Rodney's voice was apparently too loud because the cat looked up at him. He sucked in a breath and prepared for the trip to the emergency room to repair the shredded skin, but the kitten just meowed and started rubbing Rodney's legs.
"That cat is a psycho," John said and opened the shower door and threw the cat out.
~~~
"So that's when her name was changed?" I asked, still chuckling a bit at the story.
"Well no, not right then, but John kept calling her psycho, and pretty soon I just sort of stopped calling her Daisy."
"That's crazy, a cat who likes water... I'd have never guessed there was such a thing."
"Well neither had we, until we found one. You want some coffee?"
The change in subject caught me off guard for a second, but I quickly recovered and accepted his offer. A few minutes later we were back out in the living room only now we were sitting in the recliners. Rodney sipped his coffee and sat the cup down on the end table, making a new coffee ring. "What were you saying?" he asks.
I sit my cup down on the faded rings on the table and look at Rodney. "Have you ever thought about changing your mind about having kids?"
Rodney hums and looks over my shoulder. I turn to see a framed picture hanging on the wall of John and Rodney with a little girl. My heart begins to ache a little and I hope I haven't touched a tender spot in Rodney's life.
"That's Mattie, my niece," Rodney says and my chest instantly loosens, apparently Rodney sees my face change because he asks, "What? Did you think John and I adopted a kid and something happened to it?"
I chuckle, simply because the man had seen right into me and pulled out my thought. "It had crossed my mind, but I'm very happy that isn't the case," I say and take another drink of my coffee.
Rodney smiles and I feel a little less embarrassed. "Jeanie, my sister," Rodney begins and picks his cup back up. "She offered to carry a baby for us. Her exact words were... "you can jerk John off into a cup, they'll suck up all the Johnny Jrs into a turkey baster and if my egg and his sperm decide to get it on, you'll have a baby about ten months later."
I laugh at both the words and the imitation of Rodney's sister's voice.
"The imagery alone turned us both off to that idea, although I think John kept it as a possibility."
"You could have adopted. The world is really making progress with gay rights. It's slow going of course, but it's getting there. I know of quite a few gay couples that have adopted, both men and women."
Rodney just smiles a crooked half smile and I think I've over stepped my boundary. I quickly apologize.
"No no, don't worry about it," Rodney says, but there's something different in his voice, and I can't quite place it. "The time for that has passed. And quite frankly, I'm happy we didn't adopt. It would have been a long and stressful process, the late night calls for a kid that needs a foster family only to have the kid pulled away once it's gotten attached. I'm not a sadist, I don't like to see people hurt unnecessarily. Not to mention, if we had adopted, I'd have gotten stuck with a kid I didn't really want after John had his heart attack."
And just like that, I feel like a massive asshole. Things start clicking, the faded coffee rings, how the brown chair is more used, the tense Rodney uses as he talks about John. I swallow hard, not sure what to say now. I can't believe I hadn't noticed the absence of John in the house. I suppose I could have thought he was just out, but why hadn't I asked about that? Then I realize that every time I'd seen Rodney on TV over the past year he was alone, when John used to always stand beside him.
~~~
Rodney stood and walked over to the podium, giving a small wave to the audience as he did. John was sitting in the front row, beside him were Ronon and Teyla, Lorne and Zelenka, his friends, present to see him win his second Nobel.
Rodney stood behind the podium and looked out at the crowd as the cheers died down.
"I can't begin to tell you how honored I am to stand here before you. My life's dream was to win the Nobel, that dream fell away when I started doing the top secret work for the Stargate Program. But now, finally the program has been declassified and I have won not once but twice. Of course, I can't take all the credit, the people in my life are amazing and I wouldn't be here today without each and every one of them. I'd especially like to thank the love of my life, my partner, Brigadier General John Sheppard."
~~~
"John's face went ghostly pale, well, as pale as a man that dark can get anyway. He stood up and waved at me as his face was splashed on the giant screen behind me. He shook his head and shouted over the crowd, 'you didn't tell me you were going to do that!' I laughed and nodded. 'Oh yes I did, you just weren't listening.' He blew me a kiss and the crowd went absolutely insane with applause. That was one of the greatest days in my life. He fucked me into the mattress that night, I was sore for two days after."
I'm ignoring the stinging in my eyes as I barely keep the tears at bay. I'm grateful to Rodney for noticing my floundering a moment ago and saving me from embarrassing myself, which I would have done. Sometimes, when things take me off guard I get a terrible case of foot in mouth disease. I quickly thumb through my mental file cabinet looking for the questions I keep on reserve for when my original next question is no longer appropriate. "So, John was promoted even after it had become known that you two had been in a relationship for nearly ten years before Don't Ask, Don't Tell had been repealed?" It's a stupid question I know, but at least it's something coming out of my mouth besides a blubbering apology for having made Rodney suffer for the past hour.
"Yeah," Rodney says and his tone tells me he thinks it's a stupid question too. "He couldn't be punished for breaking a rule once the rule had been abolished. Not to mention, even if he could have, General O'Neill would have stepped up for him. He'd been in a relationship with Daniel Jackson for almost thirty years at that point. Even if the IOA or the US government had wanted to try something, they wouldn't have gotten very far. Especially when Jack was on a first name basis with the president and his, at that point still secret... boyfriend."
I laugh, finally feeling a little bit back to my normal self. "Looks like gays are taking over the world, doesn't it?"
Rodney laughs and shakes his head. "It wouldn't be so bad if we were. There'd sure as hell be less hatred in the world... except for the hatred of pure unadulterated idiots."
I can't keep from laughing, and as much as I know that it's time to start wrapping this interview up, I just don't want to stop talking to Rodney so I press on. "You know, I was one of the first people on Atlantis when she came back to earth and was opened up for tours. I knew it was only going to be a temporary thing and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss it."
"Oh God, don't remind me of that. The tours were the worst point in my life, no offence. I wasn't able to get any work done. Civilians traipsing through my lab all the time, touching things... although, we did find a few natural gene carriers. They were trained and offered jobs at Area 51. You can never have too many gene carriers."
"Yeah, I was tested, three times, but it always came back negative. Anyway, I walked through the halls of the ancient city, looking at the beautiful windows, the ocean surrounding it. The doors that weren't locked would just slide open when I touched the thing at the side of the door. It was utterly amazing, and I tried to imagine what it would have been like if I'd been on the original mission. If I'd been there to explore the city for the first time in ten thousand years. What was it like? In the beginning either before or after you and John got together?"
~~~
Rodney swept his flashlight beam across the littered hallway and shrugged. "Looks good to me," he said and called to order Chuck Campbell to turn the power on in that section. The lights came on and he and John both squinted at the sudden brightness.
"Don't go too far, John, I might need you to activate something," Rodney said as John started wandering around the room they'd just walked into.
"Don't worry, Rodney, I'll be here. I'm just looking around."
Rodney heard the soft hiss of a door opening followed by, "Oh my God, Rodney. Come look at this."
Rodney didn't hesitate; John's awed tone told him that whatever he'd found was probably pretty interesting. He walked through the door and out into the ocean. He gasped in a breath at the complete sensory displacement. The walls were clear, and they were standing in the ocean. Fish were swimming around and under their little room. They were beautiful, nothing like the fish from earth, such bright colors. Their tail fins flowing out behind them like silk, their eyes didn't look like fish eyes, they looked thoughtful, as if they remembered a different race of people standing in this room looking out at them.
"Oh my god, John. This room is..."
"I know," John replied and took a step closer, until their shoulders touched.
~~~
"We never told anyone about that room," Rodney says, looking a little guilty. "It was ours. We weren't together as a couple when we found it, but we still kept it secret. And when we did get together, we'd go down there sometimes, and spend hours just looking out into the ocean and the beautiful fish. We'd make love to our aquatic audience. The fish seemed to gather around that room as if to shield us from whatever else might be out there watching, and I could swear that at the height of our passion, some of the fish would change color. It was beautiful, I think that's what I miss the most about that city."
I brush away the single tear that managed to escape and I smile. "It sounds amazing."
"It truly was."
I take a deep breath, finally feeling like my normal self and knowing that my boss will have my head mounted to his wall if I don't ask this question. It's my last question anyway, and I kind of hope Rodney throws me out of the house instead of answering it. "Tell me about John's heart attack."
Rodney's face goes slack and expressionless. He looks away from me and I don't have to follow his gaze to know that he's looking at the picture of the two of them standing in front of a grove of trees, hand in hand, both in tuxes... their wedding day. After a moment, Rodney looks back at me and sighs.
"It started on Atlantis, well before either of us retired from the program," Rodney says. "We'd be walking and he'd get a little flutter in his chest. He said it was nothing, and I chose to believe him. I hate myself a little for that decision now, but there's nothing to be done. Then it progressed, he'd wake up at night and his chest would be tight and he had trouble breathing. I always took him to the infirmary and had him checked out. Keller always said it was just stress, nerves, one of the side effects of having our job. She said the cut down on the stress, and when I told her that stress was a daily occurrence in our field of work, she actually suggested having more sex. Now John and I have never had a problem in the bedroom, our sex lives were healthier than any other couple could ever hope for. More sex wasn't the answer. John didn't trust her, not since she almost let me die that time just because she liked that I was being nice, but she was the only doctor available. We could have brought him to earth and had him checked out, but John refused. He asked what we'd tell the doctor when he asked when it started and how long it'd been going on and what causes the level of stress to be so high. That was before the program was declassified, so I couldn't exactly argue with him. It went on for almost a year, and then Carson came back for a visit."
"You mean the clone of Dr. Carson Beckett?" I ask.
"Well, technically yes, he's a clone, but to us, he's just Carson. He remembered all the things that the real Carson would have remembered, he was just as knowledgeable about medical problems as well as everything else. He was Carson Beckett and that's all that mattered to us."
"Of course, I apologize."
"No need. Anyway, he came back for a visit. He didn't want to spend all his time in the infirmary and everyone had little things they wanted Carson to look at. No one was able to trust Keller after what we call the Shrine incident. He turned everyone down, telling them that Jennifer was a competent doctor and that he didn't want to step on her toes. I told him about John, what was happening and what Keller had continually said, and that the problem hadn't gone away. He threw John under a scanner within fifteen minutes of his arrival on the city..."
~~~
"What?" John asked, and Rodney could hear the fear in his voice. "What do you mean?"
Carson sighed and held out the printed photos of the scanner images. "Your heart is weak, much weaker than it should be at your age. You're an active man, you've lived a healthy life, and there is no reason for your heart to be this weak. Having said that, I took the liberty of running some tests."
"And?" Rodney asked with a little more venom in his voice than he'd intended.
"And," Carson said, glaring slightly toward Rodney, "all evidence points to Todd."
"Todd?" John and Rodney say together.
"What's he got to do with it?" John asked.
"He drained you to with thirty minutes of your life, John, then he shoved it all back in. You seemed so healthy and normal afterward that we never even thought to do any kind of extensive testing on you. Look, we know the effect the Wraith enzyme has on the body, we know that the Wraith inject it at the time of feeding so that the human they're feeding on doesn't die automatically from the shock. We also know what happens when a person overdoses on the enzyme, Ford is the perfect example of that. What we don't know, however, is what effect it has when the process is done in reverse. We should have run more tests, John, and it's my fault that we didn't. I should have looked at whether or not there is a second enzyme, I should have done massive testing on your organs, I should have observed you closely for several months after that. Now though, I'm afraid we might be too late to reverse the problem. The best we can hope for is to stall it, maybe even stop it. We'll just have to treat you like a heart patient. The running is good, maybe not running for so long and so fast, and you might want to make a few improvements to your diet. I'll make you a list. I'll also make a list for Keller with explicit instructions for your care, as well as for the running of my infirmary. I'll also contact Atlantis every time I make a planet change so that you can contact me if she deviates from my instructions even a fraction of an iota."
"Alright, doc. I appreciate you looking into this," John said.
"There's no need to thank me, John, you and Rodney were my first patients in this galaxy, I feel a sort of ownership of your health. Just keep me informed, please."
"Will do," Rodney agreed and led John out of the infirmary.
~~~
"Things were fine after that," Rodney says as he sets his empty coffee cup on the end table. "Keller was always a little snippy after that, I think she felt like I had undermined her authority by going to Carson, but John would have died there on Atlantis if I hadn't."
"So when did John have his heart attack?" I ask, even though I don't really want to know how long Rodney has been alone.
"Last year, we were in bed, he woke up in the middle of the night complaining of severe chest pain. I got up and took him to the hospital, I'd have rather had Carson there, but he was still in Pegasus and we didn't have that kind of time."
He gets quiet after that, and I want to say something else, but I don't know what it is I should say. "Alright, I think that pretty much covers everything. I want to thank you for-"
"You're in my chair."
I start at the unexpected voice and I turn toward the door, John Sheppard is standing there with a bag of groceries in one arm.
"Oh thank god," I say before I can even think to censor myself.
"What?" Rodney asks and chuckles. "Did you think he was dead? I wouldn't have given you this interview if he had died. I'm not sure I'd still be here if John died."
"I didn't... I wasn't sure. I didn't think so at first, but after I told you about the adoption thing, it sort of... well it sounded like he might have been." I'm stammering and I know it, but the relief I feel at John's presence is overwhelming and I'm utterly happy that John is still alive. "Anyway, Rodney, as I was saying, thank you so much for your time. I appreciate it and I know our readers will too."
"Not a problem, Arthur, Thanks for coming by."
"You're name is Arthur?" John asks me with a chuckle and I nod. He looks at Rodney and gets a bright smile on his face, "You're a good friend, Arthur," he says.
"Um..." I can't help but let my confusion show.
"I hadn't told him that, John," Rodney chides and John just laughs and comes over to the chair and plops down on Rodney's knee.
"One thing," I say and drain the last of my coffee. "The coffee rings on this side of the table..."
"I had to stop drinking coffee," John says. "The heart attack, you know. It was a struggle, but I managed. I also run more than I sit, which helps, although I can't run as fast anymore. I'm starting to feel my age."
"Finally," Rodney says and John yips as if Rodney has just pinched his ass. "I can keep up with you now."
John smiles and leans in, planting a deep kiss on Rodney's mouth, and that's my cue to leave.
"Again, thank you for your time, Rodney. John, I'm unbelievably happy that you're still alive. Maybe I can come back and do an interview with you both sometime."
They finally break apart and John nods. "Sure thing, anytime, Arthur, just call first." He gets up and pulls Rodney out of the chair. "I trust you can show yourself out," he says as he leads Rodney toward the staircase.
I chuckle and nod. "Absolutely. Have fun, I'll lock up."
"You do that," Rodney says and disappears into the upper level of the house.
Poll