Soft Vintage

[mcinstry]

Title: Soft Vintage
Rating: M
Words: 3,621
Summary: Her warm whiskey colored eyes met his and all he saw there was softness. - “Just lie back and let me bring you pleasure.”

Comments

[bloose09]

I read this on Teaspoon and thought I would leave a comment here as I don't have a spoon.

I must say that I really enjoyed this story immensely. It had such a ethereal, dreamlike feel to it. First time fics are a favorite of mine, and this is one of the best ones I have read in awhile. Your characterizations of Nine and Rose are spot on.

I love how well you have captured Nine's state of mind. How he holds himself back and how much he doesn't think he is worthy of being loved.
“Is this alright?” She questioned quietly, not wanting to spoil the moment with loud voices. The Doctor nodded slowly, gulping in a deep breath. No one had touched him like this in so long. Well before the War, that was for sure.

He didn’t feel as if he deserved it. Especially not from someone as innocent as Rose. She’d never hurt anyone and he’d killed millions with the press of a button.

Good for Rose for being the brave one. I enjoyed the tender, yet passionate, lovemaking.

Thank you for posting!

[mcinstry]

First off, this is the best review I've ever gotten. So thanks for that!

I'm glad you liked it and took your time to hop onto lj just to review it. I was going for a dream-ish background and a strong Rose, so I'm happy that you noticed those things.

Thank you so much for your compliments, they made my day for sure! (And kicked my bum in gear with my writing!)

[jer832]

The beginning section, describing Rose undressing, felt at first as if it were a chapter in a novel (Yes, I wanted to know what happened before Rose returned to the TARDIS.). I like the way you wrote her getting undressed-- making the action very slow, very sensual, though you described something completely mundane

[mcinstry]

Awh, thank you! That sense of sensitivity to touch and feelings were exactly what I was trying to made the readers see. I'm so very happy that worked out!

Oh, I'll definitely have to thank Bloose for recommending it!

And I've not been writing very long, so any advice anyone gives me is very helpful and I take it to heart. I'm currently working on a few projects and they are quite deep. I think they could definitely help me along experience-wise. I can see a few mistakes *cringes* as I look at the story and I can't wait to make my writing skill better, to make this - and other pieces- grow.

Thank you so much for your in-depth and helpful comment! It means a lot to me and the advice is very good.

[jer832]

I keep rereading sap, jessa, lilli, amber... how they can make a few simple sentences sound like the hottest foreplay, and my mind boggles at the talent. When I try it, it reads like a car repair manual. I've gone back and rewritten parts of a story years later, as long as I loved that story. I've set stories aside for days or even months then read it again to see if anything needed to be smoothed. I've gotten frustrated and pulled out sentences altogether. I've read them to my husband, who never laughed at me (that I know of, except there was that one time he thought the bug-eyed monster was me making fun of him..?)

Do you have a beta you trust with your life? Maybe ask bloose sometime. She won't make any stylistic changes, but she'll tell you what troubles her and she has a good eye and ear. Just keep writing. If you love it, don't let anyone convince you to stop.

[mcinstry]

Oh, their stories are fantastic and their talents completely enviable. Believe me, as a reader of your amazing story 'Screwed', your hot foreplay sounds nothing like a car repair manual. Nothing at all. As for setting stories aside, I do that as well. I feel like sometimes stories are never ready to be seen by the public eye. But, like small birds, need to be shoved out of the nest.

You're lucky to have your husband as a sounding board for your writing. Many of my friends don't take my writing seriously.

I actually don't have a beta. I've not asked anyone because I didn't want to impose. If she'd be willing though, that would be amazing.

I've had many a harsh criticism and I've not stopped writing yet. I do love quite a lot and I don't plan on giving it up any time soon for anyone.

[jer832]

I get you! It took me a long time to be comfortable with someone reading my drafts, stranger or friend. And don't anyone forget, that's MY BABY you're slapping around. I'm a strong believer in style and my right to have it left alone

[mcinstry]

I'm alright with people suggesting things, just not changing things outright. I guess it takes a certain amount of trust between the writer and the beta.

Oh wow! I didn't know that! That would be awful to edit. I'd hate to have that job no matter how good the final product was.

Ah, that's a kind way of going about it. Suggesting towards the confusion and not just crossing it all out in bright red.

Yeah, I suppose it is. Having a beta who understands where your mind is when you're writing seems pretty vital. I feel like I'd only want serious betaing for my bigger projects and simpler betaing for the oneshots.

And thank you, I appreciate that very much. Harlan Ellison... That's definitely a specific job for a child to want. I wanted to be an astronaut.

[othermewriter]

This is FANTATIC! I love they way you have them love each other and oh so HOT

[mcinstry]

Ooh, I'm glad it's fantastic! That's good to hear!