tiny little Discworld/Star Wars thing
Fandom: Discworld/Star Wars
Title: Death and . . . Taxes?
Authors: Maychorian and Syldre
Rating: G/K
Timeframe: mid-ANH
Summary: Death encounters another one.
Notes: Well, my wonderful friend, syldre, and I were IMing late at night, trading story recs the way we often do, and then we had the exact same idea at the same time. And then we started talking. You’ll probably want to read my link, there, before you go on. This is kind of a sequel. (Our apologies to afrai.)
Disclaimer: No. Don’t own either one. Either of us. We are both put out, but not really, because we still get to play and all.
Maychorian: discworld and star wars http://www.populli.net/thewritegirls/afrai/force.html
Syldre: but that's a sad story
Syldre: you're killing my vibe
Maychorian: sorry
Syldre: s'okay
Maychorian: the beginning was funny
Syldre: it was a good story
Syldre: and qui gon would totally infuriate death
Maychorian: yes
Maychorian: why make an exception?
Syldre: just wait until he tries to get old obi
Maychorian: wait til Obi-Wan comes along
Maychorian: and is all,
“No, I have to guide the blond-haired farmboy, there.”
Obi-Wan stared at Death serenely, his hands tucked into the sleeves of his robe. Which didn’t exist, precisely, the hands or the robe. Yet still, they were tucked.
“He’s clueless. Totally. I'm not going anywhere.”
Death wasn’t going anywhere, either. He was not about to be defeated by yet another example of Jedi stubbornness. YOU LET HIM KILL YOU SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO AWAY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
“No, really. It all makes a great deal of sense.” Obi-Wan would have explained, but really. He was talking to a concept. A concept of a loss of life, which was impossible, since the Force was life and the Force was everywhere. Even here.
Obi-Wan had things he had to do. Therefore, Death could not take him. It was all very simple, really.
If skeletal shoulders could slump without actually slumping, that was what Death’s shoulders did. I GIVE UP. JEDI CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES FROM NOW ON.
“Thank you for the kind intentions, though. Your cats are very lovely.” Previously, Obi-Wan had tried not to mention the two tiny kittens Death was carrying on his shoulder, occasionally reaching up to stroke them with one bony finger, as it seemed like an oddly un-Death-like thing to do. But it didn’t seem polite to ignore them now.
Death inclined his head graciously. THANK YOU. AH, IF YOUR PLAN IS TO HELP THAT YOUNG MAN OVER THERE, YOU MAY WISH TO HURRY. I BELIEVE HIS FRIENDS ARE ABOUT TO GET HIM INTO SOME TROUBLE.
Obi-Wan didn’t even bother to glance over. Of course Luke was getting into trouble. It was his destiny. He could handle himself for a few moments while Obi-Wan spoke with his new acquaintance. ”Ah, thank you. But I believe I'll be hanging around uselessly for a few years after that. Care to meet for tea? I haven't had a well-brewed cup since the Temple burned."
ONCE YOUR GALAXY BECOME MORE SETTLED, PERHAPS. Death considered for a moment, then nodded in decision. YES, I BELIEVE I WOULD ENJOY THAT. PERHAPS MY FRIENDS AND I CAN TEACH YOU TO PLAY CRIPPLE MR. ONION.
“Excellent. It's a date, then. Right after I have a word with my old Master.”
Could skeletons shudder in remembrance? Because it looked like Death had just done that. I REMEMBER THAT ONE. THAT'S WHERE THE TROUBLE STARTED.
“It usually does. He means well, though.”
YOU SEEM TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUCH PEOPLE.
“It's a curse.” Obi-Wan sighed, and gave in to his sudden need to unburden himself. A loss of corporeality seemed to do that to a person. “That's why I try so hard to abide by the rules, you see. They all think I'm just stuck-up. It's self-defense, I tell you. Nothing but self-defense.”
I SEE. I AM AFRAID I AM UNABLE TO ADVISE YOU ON SUCH MATTERS. THERE ARE FEW RULES THAT APPLY TO ME.
“Well, now that we occupy vaguely the same plane, it appears that I have the same freedom.” He realized this with a bit of a shock. Everything was different now. He could . . . he could do things. Quite a concept, after twenty-five years waiting quietly in a desert, doing nothing. “It’s rather . . . er . . . thrilling,” he felt obligated to confess.
Obi-Wan paused. “I don't think I've ever used that word before in my life.”
YOU STILL HAVEN'T, Death said reasonably. YOU HAVE ONLY USED IT IN YOUR DEATH. He paused, as if listening to a message Obi-Wan could not hear. Then reached into his robe and checked a simple and elegant hourglass. He nodded as he confirmed his suspicions. AND NOW I'M AFRAID THAT THE ASSASSINS GUILD IS TRYING TO ELIMINATE LORD VENTARI . . . AGAIN. UNDOUBTEDLY THERE WILL BE SEVERAL ASSASSINS TO BE COLLECTED TONIGHT.
“Ah. Well, good fortune with your . . . soul collecting.” Obi-Wan gave his new friend a deep, formal bow. “May the . . . uh, never mind.”
ENJOY YOUR AFTERLIFE, MASTER JEDI.
Syldre: dude, we should just write the fic
Maychorian: lol
Maychorian: I'd say we have most of it right there
Title: Death and . . . Taxes?
Authors: Maychorian and Syldre
Rating: G/K
Timeframe: mid-ANH
Summary: Death encounters another one.
Notes: Well, my wonderful friend, syldre, and I were IMing late at night, trading story recs the way we often do, and then we had the exact same idea at the same time. And then we started talking. You’ll probably want to read my link, there, before you go on. This is kind of a sequel. (Our apologies to afrai.)
Disclaimer: No. Don’t own either one. Either of us. We are both put out, but not really, because we still get to play and all.
Maychorian: discworld and star wars http://www.populli.net/thewritegirls/afrai/force.html
Syldre: but that's a sad story
Syldre: you're killing my vibe
Maychorian: sorry
Syldre: s'okay
Maychorian: the beginning was funny
Syldre: it was a good story
Syldre: and qui gon would totally infuriate death
Maychorian: yes
Maychorian: why make an exception?
Syldre: just wait until he tries to get old obi
Maychorian: wait til Obi-Wan comes along
Maychorian: and is all,
“No, I have to guide the blond-haired farmboy, there.”
Obi-Wan stared at Death serenely, his hands tucked into the sleeves of his robe. Which didn’t exist, precisely, the hands or the robe. Yet still, they were tucked.
“He’s clueless. Totally. I'm not going anywhere.”
Death wasn’t going anywhere, either. He was not about to be defeated by yet another example of Jedi stubbornness. YOU LET HIM KILL YOU SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO AWAY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
“No, really. It all makes a great deal of sense.” Obi-Wan would have explained, but really. He was talking to a concept. A concept of a loss of life, which was impossible, since the Force was life and the Force was everywhere. Even here.
Obi-Wan had things he had to do. Therefore, Death could not take him. It was all very simple, really.
If skeletal shoulders could slump without actually slumping, that was what Death’s shoulders did. I GIVE UP. JEDI CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES FROM NOW ON.
“Thank you for the kind intentions, though. Your cats are very lovely.” Previously, Obi-Wan had tried not to mention the two tiny kittens Death was carrying on his shoulder, occasionally reaching up to stroke them with one bony finger, as it seemed like an oddly un-Death-like thing to do. But it didn’t seem polite to ignore them now.
Death inclined his head graciously. THANK YOU. AH, IF YOUR PLAN IS TO HELP THAT YOUNG MAN OVER THERE, YOU MAY WISH TO HURRY. I BELIEVE HIS FRIENDS ARE ABOUT TO GET HIM INTO SOME TROUBLE.
Obi-Wan didn’t even bother to glance over. Of course Luke was getting into trouble. It was his destiny. He could handle himself for a few moments while Obi-Wan spoke with his new acquaintance. ”Ah, thank you. But I believe I'll be hanging around uselessly for a few years after that. Care to meet for tea? I haven't had a well-brewed cup since the Temple burned."
ONCE YOUR GALAXY BECOME MORE SETTLED, PERHAPS. Death considered for a moment, then nodded in decision. YES, I BELIEVE I WOULD ENJOY THAT. PERHAPS MY FRIENDS AND I CAN TEACH YOU TO PLAY CRIPPLE MR. ONION.
“Excellent. It's a date, then. Right after I have a word with my old Master.”
Could skeletons shudder in remembrance? Because it looked like Death had just done that. I REMEMBER THAT ONE. THAT'S WHERE THE TROUBLE STARTED.
“It usually does. He means well, though.”
YOU SEEM TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUCH PEOPLE.
“It's a curse.” Obi-Wan sighed, and gave in to his sudden need to unburden himself. A loss of corporeality seemed to do that to a person. “That's why I try so hard to abide by the rules, you see. They all think I'm just stuck-up. It's self-defense, I tell you. Nothing but self-defense.”
I SEE. I AM AFRAID I AM UNABLE TO ADVISE YOU ON SUCH MATTERS. THERE ARE FEW RULES THAT APPLY TO ME.
“Well, now that we occupy vaguely the same plane, it appears that I have the same freedom.” He realized this with a bit of a shock. Everything was different now. He could . . . he could do things. Quite a concept, after twenty-five years waiting quietly in a desert, doing nothing. “It’s rather . . . er . . . thrilling,” he felt obligated to confess.
Obi-Wan paused. “I don't think I've ever used that word before in my life.”
YOU STILL HAVEN'T, Death said reasonably. YOU HAVE ONLY USED IT IN YOUR DEATH. He paused, as if listening to a message Obi-Wan could not hear. Then reached into his robe and checked a simple and elegant hourglass. He nodded as he confirmed his suspicions. AND NOW I'M AFRAID THAT THE ASSASSINS GUILD IS TRYING TO ELIMINATE LORD VENTARI . . . AGAIN. UNDOUBTEDLY THERE WILL BE SEVERAL ASSASSINS TO BE COLLECTED TONIGHT.
“Ah. Well, good fortune with your . . . soul collecting.” Obi-Wan gave his new friend a deep, formal bow. “May the . . . uh, never mind.”
ENJOY YOUR AFTERLIFE, MASTER JEDI.
Syldre: dude, we should just write the fic
Maychorian: lol
Maychorian: I'd say we have most of it right there