Or we could all just be poly.

[may_dryad]

This contradictory article by Lisa Belkin acknowledges that "men find it more threatening when women cheat than vice versa," but then goes on to focus exclusively on why women find it so threatening. Belkin suggests that it's natural for us to worry "that a man will take his support and protection elsewhere," except that "as many as 76 percent of

Comments

[moominmuppet]

except that "as many as 76 percent of spouses (not just these famous outliers) who face infidelity stay together." Is it just me, or does that mean that marriages where infidelity occurs are actually more successful than average? The national divorce rate is still around 50%, last I heard.

Hmmm... That is a fascinating question. I'd love to see a breakdown of the numbers there...

[joreth]

As an independent female, it just drives me up the wall to hear people parrot back that old line about females needing a male's "support and protection". Not only has study after study shown that even species that appear to be socially monogamous are actually not sexually monogamous, but the whole intelligent monkey-brain allows us to perform acts directly contradictory to our programming (birth control, for instance

[may_dryad]

My response to this was to shout at the TV set and say "my method of never being alone and penniless is to make my own fucking money!"

Amen. And as a married woman, I can attest that a stable marriage does not equal being provided for by a man. Disabled husbands aside, the single-income family is far from the norm, so most women, married or single, can and do provide for themselves to a large degree. And despite cultural and gender norms that try to tell us differently, women throughout human history have always been significant contributors to the support of themselves and their families.

[joreth]

It's amazing how many people don't know that, even in the so-called "hunter-gatherer" societies (and I say "so-called" because they assume the hyphenization is for a division upon gender lines, not just that it's a 2-part survival system), the "gatherers" actually provided more sustenance for the tribe than the Flinstones' image of big-hunter-bring-meat-save-family myth. So, technically, the females have always been the "providers" of the family (although, to be perfectly accurate, it was more of a collaborative effort than any strict gender role, but I can't break apart every myth at once

[moondispatches]

I trust that "as many as 76" statistic as far as I can throw it.