More Awesomeness... and Unto Death (5)! :D
Also, moonrose91 filled one of my prompts! Go take a look and bask in its awesomeness! xD
Prompt: Loki's sanity was already in tatters, but falling off the Bifrost made him snap completely. He develops multiple personalities as a result. Maybe one personality is a young, mischievous-but-harmless Loki while another is an evil, let's-destroy-the-world Loki? Go nuts!
Either way, I would like to see Thor find him. He would be relieved at first that his brother's alive, but how does he react to crazy!Loki?
Bonus points for protective!Thor and some Loki hurt/comfort angst.
Fill: Ways of the Mind
Anyways...
Sorry for those of you who wanted some full-out Thorki slashiness. I threw that kiss out there for ya, but the characters just aren't having it right now beyond that, as you will see.
For those of you not interested in Thorki, you can breathe a sigh of relief. For now. ;)
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Decisions
Even without the threat of nightmares, Loki did not find any sleep that night. The gears of his mind clicked and whirred behind his closed eyelids as he recounted every detail of that day, assessing and reassessing his every word and action. There were so many trivial - important - things that he could have done differently.
He had been angry - justifiably so - and that anger had needed an outlet. Time and again, Thor had served as that outlet, as the lightning rod for his wrath, Loki's physical, magical, and verbal punching bag. Without Thor, Loki's destructive mood would have exploded outwards and inwards, tearing himself and his world apart, but Thor, being the pathetically altruistic martyr that he was, had saved him from himself.
Loki had needed some form of comfort then. That need had frightened and confused him, so he had warped that need into something he understood, something base and sexual. It was the only kind of physical contact other than violence that he was willing to seek. He wanted it to hurt, to feel like a punishment.
When Thor had pulled away, it had felt like a rejection. He had felt like a child then, small, alone, and exposed, and all he had wanted to do was hide, curl up in a small, dark hole, and wallow in self-pity. He had done exactly that.
And when Thor had found him later, well... he still wasn't sure what had happened, and he certainly did not want to think about it. All he knew was that he was growing far too dependent on his brother.
It was as Loki lay awake, watching the shadows stretch and curl along the ceiling, that the idea came to him. It would be simple enough for him to find the nearby lab that was currently producing Ultimi, and the Avengers' help had so far been proven superfluous. He could wipe out the last of the Ultimi with his bare hands and regain a measure of his independence.
It was hardly like he would be getting any sleep anyway.
Thor laid back on his bed, idly twirling his hammer and watching as the morning sun glinted off its metal edges. He felt oddly homesick, in that moment, thinking of Asgard. Whenever he was troubled, he would talk to Sif, who always spoke plainly but wisely, and he wished that he could talk to her now about Loki. He loved his brother but was as far away as ever from understanding him, but Sif, he thought, would steer him in the right direction.
Yet going to Asgard, even if only for a short visit, was unfortunately out of the question while there were still Ultimi in existence, and, admirable in battle though they were, Thor was not about to trust advice from Steve or Tony on this issue. He thought of Pepper then, Tony's personal assistant, who was headstrong and intelligent in a way that reminded him of Sif. Maybe he could talk to her; she was far better than Tony at this sort of thing and had proven herself to be honorable and trustworthy in Thor's eyes.
Thor found Pepper sitting on a couch in the downstairs living room, her hair tied back in a bun and her fingers skittering like spiders' legs over the keyboard of her laptop. Thor sat on the other side of the couch, decidedly not squirming, thank you. The computer light gave Pepper's face a ghostly glow and made it hard for Thor to read her expression, but she stopped typing and looked at him as he sat down, smiling politely in a way that all but said, "What do you want?"
"I would speak with you, Ms. Potts," Thor told her, "if you have the time."
Pepper sighed and dropped her hands into her lap. "If this is about the leak in the upstairs bathroom, I'm already on it."
"No, no," Thor replied. He was not sure how to properly broach the subject. He wished this was something he could fix by smashing it with Mjolnir, but he supposed that that kind of thinking was what made this so difficult to begin with. "I merely... wished to talk about something of a more personal nature, and I... well, just consider the alternatives."
Pepper stared at him for a moment before, Thor surmised, thinking about his last statement and chuckling under her breath. "Ah yes, I see," she sighed. "I don't know about the others, but Tony would probably just make things worse. But what about your brother?"
"He's... what I need to talk about."
"Oh."
"Verily."
"Well," Pepper sighed and shrugged. "I'm not sure how exactly I'll be able to help, but I'll try. Shoot."
"Hey, guys!" Tony chose that moment to walk in, armored feet making heavy, metallic clunking sounds and his helmet under his arm. He smiled tiredly and wiped the sweat from his brow with his free hand, plopping into a nearby chair with a gusty, relieved sigh.
Pepper and Thor exchanged sidelong glances before staring at Tony, hoping that he would sense the awkward pause and realize that he was intruding. He just smiled back at them and winked lasciviously at Pepper, oblivious.
Thor decided to go for broke, turning to Pepper and saying, "I made out with Loki."
"Oookay!" Tony pushed off the chair and walked right back out the door.
For her part, Pepper just stared at Thor. She made as though to say something before closing her mouth with an audible click and rubbing her forehead as though to dispel a headache. "I thought he was your brother," she said finally in a strangled voice.
"Hmm?" Thor grunted. "Oh, yes, well. We are step-brothers, yes, but this - what was the word you mortals use? - 'incest' is not really taboo in Asgard. Our numbers are too few for that sort of thing to matter." Thor paused to consider. He had never been attracted to men - he still wasn't - and he did not know why he had reciprocated when Loki had kissed him or even why Loki had kissed him. "And... between two men, it's... frowned upon but not unheard of," Thor continued distractedly. "Loki always did have a reputation for -"
"Don't need the details!" Pepper said, gesturing vehemently for Thor to stop speaking. "Just... okay, so then what's the problem?"
"The problem is, it's Loki!" Tony's voice shouted from the hall.
Thor opened his mouth to say something, only to shrug and nod. Pepper blew out a sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"How do I get myself into these situations?" she muttered, shaking her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but do you care about him?"
"He's family," Thor said. "I love him, but I'm not in love with him, I don't think."
Thor ran a hand through his hair, looking at her with desperation in his eyes. He then described the events of the previous night, Loki goading him, pushing him, and then...
He left out the aftermath and Loki's ensuing breakdown. Somehow, he felt, that moment had been far more personal than their violent lip-lock.
"What do I do?" Thor murmured. He had no idea where to go from here or what he ought to expect from Loki.
Not that he ever knew what to expect from Loki, but... well. That was the crux of the problem, he supposed.
"He sees you as a brother," Pepper said, frowning down at her laptop and tapping one painted nail against the mouse button. Thor suspected that she was just trying to avoid eye-contact. "Issues of incest aside, this whole thing is not healthy for his state of mind."
"What do you mean?" Thor asked, though his gut told him she was right.
"You realize that the only physical contact Loki allows is either violent or sexual? That's worrisome on its own, but it's downright alarming from someone who went through torture not that long ago."
"He's resilient," Thor said, more to reassure himself.
"Thor," Pepper sighed. "Listen to me. If you care about him, you'll keep things brotherly between you. Nothing good could come from anything else."
Thor sighed and wiped a hand over his eyes. A part of him wondered, however, about that moment he had not shared, when he had enfolded a sobbing Loki in his arms. Thor had to wonder - had to hope - that this was a sign that his little brother was healing.
"Thank you," Thor told Pepper, hoping she knew how much he genuinely meant that. She smiled wanly, and Thor rose from the couch, letting her return to work. In the interim, it was time Thor spoke to Loki.
But when he went to his brother's room, it was to find Loki gone.
A/N: Hold on to your pants, people, because shit's about to get real. xD
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Prompt: Loki's sanity was already in tatters, but falling off the Bifrost made him snap completely. He develops multiple personalities as a result. Maybe one personality is a young, mischievous-but-harmless Loki while another is an evil, let's-destroy-the-world Loki? Go nuts!
Either way, I would like to see Thor find him. He would be relieved at first that his brother's alive, but how does he react to crazy!Loki?
Bonus points for protective!Thor and some Loki hurt/comfort angst.
Fill: Ways of the Mind
Anyways...
Sorry for those of you who wanted some full-out Thorki slashiness. I threw that kiss out there for ya, but the characters just aren't having it right now beyond that, as you will see.
For those of you not interested in Thorki, you can breathe a sigh of relief. For now. ;)
Previous Next
Decisions
Even without the threat of nightmares, Loki did not find any sleep that night. The gears of his mind clicked and whirred behind his closed eyelids as he recounted every detail of that day, assessing and reassessing his every word and action. There were so many trivial - important - things that he could have done differently.
He had been angry - justifiably so - and that anger had needed an outlet. Time and again, Thor had served as that outlet, as the lightning rod for his wrath, Loki's physical, magical, and verbal punching bag. Without Thor, Loki's destructive mood would have exploded outwards and inwards, tearing himself and his world apart, but Thor, being the pathetically altruistic martyr that he was, had saved him from himself.
Loki had needed some form of comfort then. That need had frightened and confused him, so he had warped that need into something he understood, something base and sexual. It was the only kind of physical contact other than violence that he was willing to seek. He wanted it to hurt, to feel like a punishment.
When Thor had pulled away, it had felt like a rejection. He had felt like a child then, small, alone, and exposed, and all he had wanted to do was hide, curl up in a small, dark hole, and wallow in self-pity. He had done exactly that.
And when Thor had found him later, well... he still wasn't sure what had happened, and he certainly did not want to think about it. All he knew was that he was growing far too dependent on his brother.
It was as Loki lay awake, watching the shadows stretch and curl along the ceiling, that the idea came to him. It would be simple enough for him to find the nearby lab that was currently producing Ultimi, and the Avengers' help had so far been proven superfluous. He could wipe out the last of the Ultimi with his bare hands and regain a measure of his independence.
It was hardly like he would be getting any sleep anyway.
Thor laid back on his bed, idly twirling his hammer and watching as the morning sun glinted off its metal edges. He felt oddly homesick, in that moment, thinking of Asgard. Whenever he was troubled, he would talk to Sif, who always spoke plainly but wisely, and he wished that he could talk to her now about Loki. He loved his brother but was as far away as ever from understanding him, but Sif, he thought, would steer him in the right direction.
Yet going to Asgard, even if only for a short visit, was unfortunately out of the question while there were still Ultimi in existence, and, admirable in battle though they were, Thor was not about to trust advice from Steve or Tony on this issue. He thought of Pepper then, Tony's personal assistant, who was headstrong and intelligent in a way that reminded him of Sif. Maybe he could talk to her; she was far better than Tony at this sort of thing and had proven herself to be honorable and trustworthy in Thor's eyes.
Thor found Pepper sitting on a couch in the downstairs living room, her hair tied back in a bun and her fingers skittering like spiders' legs over the keyboard of her laptop. Thor sat on the other side of the couch, decidedly not squirming, thank you. The computer light gave Pepper's face a ghostly glow and made it hard for Thor to read her expression, but she stopped typing and looked at him as he sat down, smiling politely in a way that all but said, "What do you want?"
"I would speak with you, Ms. Potts," Thor told her, "if you have the time."
Pepper sighed and dropped her hands into her lap. "If this is about the leak in the upstairs bathroom, I'm already on it."
"No, no," Thor replied. He was not sure how to properly broach the subject. He wished this was something he could fix by smashing it with Mjolnir, but he supposed that that kind of thinking was what made this so difficult to begin with. "I merely... wished to talk about something of a more personal nature, and I... well, just consider the alternatives."
Pepper stared at him for a moment before, Thor surmised, thinking about his last statement and chuckling under her breath. "Ah yes, I see," she sighed. "I don't know about the others, but Tony would probably just make things worse. But what about your brother?"
"He's... what I need to talk about."
"Oh."
"Verily."
"Well," Pepper sighed and shrugged. "I'm not sure how exactly I'll be able to help, but I'll try. Shoot."
"Hey, guys!" Tony chose that moment to walk in, armored feet making heavy, metallic clunking sounds and his helmet under his arm. He smiled tiredly and wiped the sweat from his brow with his free hand, plopping into a nearby chair with a gusty, relieved sigh.
Pepper and Thor exchanged sidelong glances before staring at Tony, hoping that he would sense the awkward pause and realize that he was intruding. He just smiled back at them and winked lasciviously at Pepper, oblivious.
Thor decided to go for broke, turning to Pepper and saying, "I made out with Loki."
"Oookay!" Tony pushed off the chair and walked right back out the door.
For her part, Pepper just stared at Thor. She made as though to say something before closing her mouth with an audible click and rubbing her forehead as though to dispel a headache. "I thought he was your brother," she said finally in a strangled voice.
"Hmm?" Thor grunted. "Oh, yes, well. We are step-brothers, yes, but this - what was the word you mortals use? - 'incest' is not really taboo in Asgard. Our numbers are too few for that sort of thing to matter." Thor paused to consider. He had never been attracted to men - he still wasn't - and he did not know why he had reciprocated when Loki had kissed him or even why Loki had kissed him. "And... between two men, it's... frowned upon but not unheard of," Thor continued distractedly. "Loki always did have a reputation for -"
"Don't need the details!" Pepper said, gesturing vehemently for Thor to stop speaking. "Just... okay, so then what's the problem?"
"The problem is, it's Loki!" Tony's voice shouted from the hall.
Thor opened his mouth to say something, only to shrug and nod. Pepper blew out a sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"How do I get myself into these situations?" she muttered, shaking her head. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but do you care about him?"
"He's family," Thor said. "I love him, but I'm not in love with him, I don't think."
Thor ran a hand through his hair, looking at her with desperation in his eyes. He then described the events of the previous night, Loki goading him, pushing him, and then...
He left out the aftermath and Loki's ensuing breakdown. Somehow, he felt, that moment had been far more personal than their violent lip-lock.
"What do I do?" Thor murmured. He had no idea where to go from here or what he ought to expect from Loki.
Not that he ever knew what to expect from Loki, but... well. That was the crux of the problem, he supposed.
"He sees you as a brother," Pepper said, frowning down at her laptop and tapping one painted nail against the mouse button. Thor suspected that she was just trying to avoid eye-contact. "Issues of incest aside, this whole thing is not healthy for his state of mind."
"What do you mean?" Thor asked, though his gut told him she was right.
"You realize that the only physical contact Loki allows is either violent or sexual? That's worrisome on its own, but it's downright alarming from someone who went through torture not that long ago."
"He's resilient," Thor said, more to reassure himself.
"Thor," Pepper sighed. "Listen to me. If you care about him, you'll keep things brotherly between you. Nothing good could come from anything else."
Thor sighed and wiped a hand over his eyes. A part of him wondered, however, about that moment he had not shared, when he had enfolded a sobbing Loki in his arms. Thor had to wonder - had to hope - that this was a sign that his little brother was healing.
"Thank you," Thor told Pepper, hoping she knew how much he genuinely meant that. She smiled wanly, and Thor rose from the couch, letting her return to work. In the interim, it was time Thor spoke to Loki.
But when he went to his brother's room, it was to find Loki gone.
A/N: Hold on to your pants, people, because shit's about to get real. xD
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