Fic: Thrown Together, Ripped Apart - Ch. 2
Title: Thrown Together, Ripped Apart
Author: starrdust411
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Matt/Mohinder
Rating: PG-13
Summary: While on the run from the government, Matt and Mohinder discover a major bump in the road. (Word Count: 4,238)
Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes.
Warnings: Slash, Mpreg, Angst, AU
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
They had crossed the border that morning. They were in Canada now, but somehow Mohinder still did not feel safe.
Yet even though those thoughts of safety and maintaining their cover were not his main concern at the moment, Mohinder was sure to keep them at the surface of his mind. It was a good distraction against what was really bothering him and an easy way to hide thoughts he wanted kept to himself.
The geneticist barely flinched when Matt's hand clamped down on his shoulder, squeezing it gently to pull the Indian out of his thoughts. "Hey. You alright?"
Mohinder shook his head, hunching his shoulders and wrapping his arms tightly around himself. "No," he said honestly, but he had no desire to say more.
Matt frowned looking over his shoulder to glance at Peter before turning his attention back towards Mohinder. "Come here," he began, grabbing the man by his elbow and tugging him closer. "Take a walk with me." Mohinder allowed himself to be lead away, but he kept his hold on himself firm. The Indian couldn't remember being this guarded around Matt since their first meeting and it was disheartening to find himself so tense around the other man so many months later. "What's wrong?"
"I'm just worried," he muttered as they walked along the side of the road. It was a partial truth, but it was good enough since Matt was no doubt feeling the same way. "I don't think we're completely safe here. After all, Hiro Nakamura was captured in Japan and us being in Canada... it seems like an obvious move, doesn't it?"
Matt shrugged, an indifferent look on his face as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, but we're safer here than we were back there. I mean, we still may not be able to use our credit cards or cell phones, but... I dunno, maybe we can get a phone card and call Molly or something."
The Indian felt his lips curl into a smile at the mention of Molly's name. It would be nice to check up on her and make sure that everything was okay. "I would like that," he admitted.
Matt wrapped an arm around Mohinder's shoulder, pulling him against his side. "Maybe we can get passage to India or something. You know, once Peter leaves."
"You know about that?" he asked.
Matt nodded as a serious look slipped onto his face. "Yeah, he told me." He shrugged, scratching the back of his head awkwardly with his other hand. "I dunno. I mean, I think it's dangerous, but..."
"But you want to go with him, don't you?" He frowned, tightening his grip on himself. "You'd rather go out there and put a stop to this situation, but you're stuck here babysitting me."
"I'm not 'babysitting' you," Matt sighed.
"But you're here because of me. You're in hiding because of me."
"So are you trying to tell me you want to go back?" he asked, frustration creeping into his tone.
"No," the geneticist answered simply. "No, I just..." Mohinder stopped as he tried to put his words in order. It was difficult, of course, since there were so many things that he wanted to say, but couldn't. Stopping there, however, would look suspicious so he pushed on, forcing himself to say something. "I don't want to run away," he explained carefully, "but I know that I'm in no condition to fight. But... But I don't want you to feel as if I'm holding you back."
"You're not." Matt startled him by coming to a halt, his hand sliding away from its place wrapped around Mohinder's shoulder. The Indian stiffened a bit when Matt grabbed his biceps, his strong hands squeezing down firmly. "Mohinder, if anything, you're keeping me grounded and that's a good thing. If something happened to you... I don't know what I would do. I'd... I dunno, I'd probably go crazy and start using my ability to get revenge or something."
"You could never do something like that," Mohinder laughed, his eyes instantly drifting towards their feet. "You're a good person." The words left a bitter taste on his lips, making his stomach twist and sink with thoughts of the horrible things he'd done. "Matt..."
His words were cut off when Matt leaned in and pressed their lips together in a quick kiss. When the detective pulled back, there was nothing but affection in his eyes. "You know, same sex marriage is legal in Canada," he said casually, a smile quirking his lips. "Maybe while we're up here-"
"You... you'd want to do that?" Mohinder stammered, flabbergasted. His head was pounding and suddenly it was impossible to tell if Matt was being sincere. "You would... you would actually want to marry me?"
Matt frowned and from the confused look in his eyes, it was obvious he hadn't anticipated this type of reaction. "Well, yeah," he said carefully. "Maybe not today, but, you know... down the road."
"Matt, your divorce has barely been finalized!" he blurted out, his voice louder than he'd intended it to be. "How can you even think of marriage after the way your last one ended?"
"That was a different relationship with a different person," Matt shot back. "Janice and I just weren't right for each other. We tried to make it work for years and... and it just couldn't."
"Yes, Matt, years! You were together for years and we've only known each other a few months!"
"It's not about how much time we put into our relationship, it's about the feelings we have for each other," Matt stressed, weary and frustrated, because the last thing he had been expecting was an argument. "I love you and I know that you love me. That's what it takes to make a relationship work and... and why are you fighting me so hard on this?"
Mohinder shook his head, slowly, angrily, as he tried his best to blink away the tears that were threatening to slip from his eyes. "Because I'm not right for you," he choked. "I'm not the person you think I am and if you knew some of the things I've done, you wouldn't want to be near me, let alone marry me."
Matt stiffened, his face a mask of confusion as his hands slowly slipped away from Mohinder's tense frame. "Mohinder... what are you talking about?"
The geneticist grimaced, his stomach lurching miserably inside of him. "I... I'm, I'm going to be sick," he announced, before turning to sprint over to a nearby bush and retch into it.
The sound of hurried footfalls rushing over to them hardly registered in Mohinder's ears as he stood doubled over and gagging miserably. "What happened?" he heard Peter ask from a few feet away. "What's wrong?"
Mohinder barely heard Matt's grumbled response of "beats me" as he stood up, coughing louder than he would have liked.
Peter was at his side in an instant, clamping a concerned hand on his shoulder. Despite the fact that he wasn't actually looking at him, Mohinder could still feel the younger man's eyes on him, studying him carefully. "You okay?" Peter asked, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze.
"Fine," he lied, stuffing his hands into his pockets miserably. There was a familiar tingle in the back of his head and Mohinder knew right away that someone was trying to read his mind. He wasn't sure if it was Matt or Peter, but the Indian was careful to switch his thoughts to Tamil as he brushed off Peter's hand. "I'm fine," he repeated, walking a few steps away.
"You know guys, three men standing on the side of an open road doesn't look good," Matt said suddenly, drawing their attention away from the awkwardness that had settled upon the group and back to the bigger issue. "Let's get... somewhere."
"On foot?" Mohinder sighed, glancing at the long stretch of empty road. They were probably miles away from anything and he didn't exactly feel up for a hike. "Wonderful. Can we at least get something to eat when we reach whatever it is we're walking to?"
Matt frowned, quirking an eyebrow curiously at Mohinder's suggestion. "You're actually hungry?"
He shrugged. In truth, he didn't feel like eating anything, he merely knew that in his current state he needed something to fill his now empty stomach. "I do still need food to survive," Mohinder said simply, hoping that the excuse would be enough to avoid any follow up questions.
-+-+-+-
"So how much money do we have left?" Matt asked.
They watched as Peter counted out the recently exchanged bills carefully, a displeased frown slowly creeping onto his features. "Less than three hundred," he sighed, looking them both in the eye. "We need to use the rest wisely."
Mohinder sighed, looking out the window at the slowly setting sun. There really wasn't much that they could do now that they were lying low and trying not to use their abilities. Yet even taking into consideration that Peter would probably leave them behind in a day or two, the small amount of money was not enough for two grown men to survive on for very long. He frowned, looking from Peter to Matt and then back again.
Mohinder suddenly felt very trapped, as if the future was rushing in on him at full speed. He swallowed miserably, realizing that there was no way of hiding from this or anything else.
"Peter?" Mohinder began slowly, "Do you think you could give Matt and I a moment alone?"
It was hard to read the worried looks that the two men exchanged at his request, but it didn't matter. The Indian was merely relieved when Peter nodded and stepped out of the motel room without much of a fuss. When the door clicked shut, Mohinder let out a long breath he didn't realize he had been holding before turning towards Matt.
"I'm really sorry I've been so difficult lately," Mohinder told him sincerely.
Matt was silent as he shifted from one foot to the other. It was rare for him to apologize and Matt knew it, so the man was no doubt savoring the moment. "It's not your fault," he said at last. "This situation... it's stressful-"
"More so than you'd imagine," he interrupted. Suddenly the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears was absolutely deafening and seemed to over ride everything else. For a moment his thoughts jumbled, faltering like stacks of paper piled at odd angles, but he forced himself to stay calm. "I've been... I've been trying to figure out how to tell you something... something that will change things between us forever."
He watched as Matt's eyes widened, a look of horror flashing in his gaze. "Are you breaking up with me?"
Mohinder couldn't help the nervous chuckle that bubbled from between his lips at that question. He wished it was that simple. "No," he said truthfully. "No, it's nothing like that." He swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling incredibly tight. "I think you should sit down."
Matt did as he was told, sitting slowly on the edge of a beaten up old desk chair, his eyes never leaving Mohinder's face. "Mohinder... what's going on? Whatever it is, just... just tell me."
"I... I think I know why I've been so sick lately," he began, stopping to lick his lips with his surprisingly dry tongue. "I'm... I think I may be p-pregnant."
The silence that stretched between them was deafening. Mohinder suddenly felt as if he had Dale Smither's ability and could hear butterflies flapping their wings miles away as he waited for some sort of response. Matt didn't react at first, he merely stared at him, tilting his head this way and that as if he were reading his mind, but there was no tingle to indicate that. "You're... you're joking," he determined.
"I wish I was," Mohinder sighed. "But I really think I'm... pregnant."
The word was so awkward to say. It stuck to his tongue stubbornly and took every ounce of strength to push out. And thinking it was no better. The word would float to the surface of his mind and instantly sink away from the pure absurdity of it all. Yet there was evidence, there were symptoms, there were possibilities... he just needed proof.
Matt frowned, his mouth hanging open in a silent question as his eyes drifted towards the ground. "Well... How...? What makes you think this is possible?"
"My mutation," he answered simply. "When I gained my ability I... I changed, inside and out, in ways I couldn't have imagined. When I was cured... well obviously from the fact that I still maintained my strength and agility it wasn't a complete cure. It's possible that some of my internal changes haven't been erased either."
"And one of those changes was the ability to carry a baby?" the detective asked, half laughing at his own words. He shook his head, a strange smile creeping onto his features. "This is... it's so strange. And... and incredible. I don't know what to say." The American stood, taking a step towards him in what seemed like an attempt to embrace him, but Mohinder automatically took a step back. The gesture was more than enough to confuse the other man. Matt paused in his steps as if frozen.
"There's more," Mohinder whispered. His vision blurred slightly, forcing him to blink back the tears that stubbornly wished to slip out. His blood was churning so loudly in his ears that Mohinder barely heard himself say "If I am pregnant, well... I don't know if it's yours."
Matt merely stood there, staring at him in silent shock, but behind the confused expression Mohinder could see the man's heart breaking in his eyes. "You... you cheated on me?"
Hearing the words out loud, spoken by Matt himself no less, only made him feel that much worse. It was as if actually verbalizing the vile act made it that much worse, made his crime realer. Mohinder's face was red with shame as he managed a weak nod.
"You cheated on me!" Matt shouted. He was shaking, panting, and his face was slowly turning red. He looked as if he were going to explode and the sight of his face twisting in pain was enough to make Mohinder sick inside. "You! Of all people! How could you do this to me?"
"Matt," he began, reaching out to touch the other man's arm, but he flinched away automatically as if the touch would burn him. Mohinder swallowed against the lump quickly forming in his throat. "Matt, I can't tell you how sorry I am."
"Sorry?" He laughed bitterly. "If you were 'sorry' you never would have done it in the first place!"
"It happened months ago," he explained. "At Pinehearst."
"Yeah, so that just makes everything better, right?"
Mohinder frowned, scrambling to come up with the right words, but every explanation he came up with sounded pathetic even to his own ears. "Matt, you don't understand. I didn't do it because I don't love you or because I was bored with our relationship. I was... I was hurt and in constant pain and I was so certain that I was dying. I just needed to feel something, needed to know that I was still alive and... and you weren't there."
"So are you trying to say this is my fault?"
"No. I..." he sighed, grabbing Matt's arm tightly. "I just need you to know that it was a mistake and I know that and I would never do anything like that again because I love you!"
"It doesn't change the fact that you already did it once," he grumbled, brushing the Indian's hands away.
"You're right," Mohinder sighed. "And you have every right to be mad at me, but-"
"Who was it?" Matt asked suddenly.
Mohinder felt his insides tighten at the question. He should have known that Matt would ask something like that, but the shame he still felt wouldn't allow him to answer. The Indian sighed, suddenly unable to meet the other man's gaze. "I can't tell you."
Matt frowned. "What do you mean you 'can't'?"
He bit his lip, wrapping his arms around himself. "I just... I can't."
The door swung opened then as Peter stepped inside with a frantic look on his face. "Do you guys not know the meaning of the term 'lay low'?" he whispered tersely before closing the door behind him. "The whole damn motel can hear your screaming!"
Matt's gaze flickered towards Peter for only the briefest instance before he turned his eyes back towards Mohinder. "Was it Peter?" he asked. "Does he know anything about this?"
Peter blinked, utterly lost. "What?"
"No!" Mohinder shouted. "No, it wasn't Peter."
"Then who?"
"What are you guys talking about?" Peter asked, stepping between the two men. "What the hell is going on?"
An awkward silence settled between the three of them, stretching on for what felt like hours. Matt stared at Mohinder expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but the Indian just felt too awkward to even think about explaining the whole situation again.
"You know what, you tell him," Matt huffed at last. "I'm getting out of here."
Matt barely managed to take a step towards the door before Peter grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Matt you're not serious," he gapped. "This is really not the time for us to be splitting up."
The detective frowned, looking back at Mohinder before jerking his arm out of Peter's grasp. "Well I can't stay here. I... I need some air."
"Matt, please," Mohinder reasoned. He already knew that whatever he said would fall on deaf ears, but he couldn't just allow the man to simply walk away. "Peter's right, it's not safe."
"I can't stay here," Matt said again. He didn't even bother to look at Mohinder as he continued towards the door. "I need to clear my head."
"Matt," Mohinder tried once more, moving to go after the other man, but Peter's hand gripping his shoulder was enough to stop him in his tracks. He stood and watched numbly as Matt walked out of the motel room, slamming the door behind him.
-+-+-+-
Thunder rumbled furiously, yet so far not a single drop of rain had fallen. Mohinder frowned as he glanced at his watch and then the clock radio stationed between the two beds. The two hours since Matt had left felt more like days and Mohinder didn't know whether he should go after him or merely accept the fact that he wasn't coming back.
"He's going to come back," Peter said evenly. Despite the young man's confident tone, the way his leg continued to jitter nervously betrayed his calm appearance. "He's just... sorting things out."
Mohinder frowned, pulling back the curtains and scanning the outside world. It was nearly pitch black and the lights in the parking lot weren't doing much to illumine the parked cars stationed underneath them, yet from what the geneticist could see there was still no trace of the detective. "I doubt that," Mohinder lamented. "He's taking a pretty big risk going off on his own like this, just to get away from me no less."
"Matt wouldn't just up and leave us like this," he assured him. "He's going to come back. You just gave him a lot to think about that's all."
A lot to think about was putting it mildly. After all, Mohinder had just told the man that he was supposed to be in a committed relationship with that not only was he pregnant, but possibly having another man's baby. It was already an overwhelming amount of information on its own, but the fact was that this whole situation was far too familiar for Matt. This had all happened to him before, and not only was it happening again, it was happening with someone who had been there with him through the emotional aftermath of that failed relationship.
Mohinder couldn't help feeling low and deceitful for what he'd done. He wouldn't put it passed Matt to decide not to come back at all. Even if he did, Mohinder was certain their relationship was over.
"I should go after him," Mohinder sighed, checking his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. Only a minute had passed, but it was a minute too long for his taste. "It's been hours. Something could have happened."
The Indian had barely managed to take a few steps towards the door before Peter was on his feet, blocking the exit with his body. "Mohinder, I know you're worried, but this is no time for us to be splitting up and wandering around in the dark! Besides, Matt's a cop. I'm sure he's more than capable of taking care of himself."
"Yes, one telepathic police officer against an entire attack squad of men armed with tasers and power canceling sedatives!" Mohinder argued.
"Yeah, and if you go after him it'll be one telepathic police officer and one super strong, pregnant geneticist against an entire attack squad of men armed with tasers and power canceling sedatives," Peter shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Besides, we're in Canada. The chances of us being captured have to be significantly decreased."
"Well I can't just stay here and wait for something horrible to happen to him."
"Mohinder, in your condition-"
"My 'condition'?" The geneticist groaned. There were no words to describe what he would give to never hear that phrase again. Unfortunately he felt certain that he was going to hear it quite often in the next few months. "Peter, just because I'm..." He paused. The word "pregnant" still felt strange on his tongue. "I'm still capable of taking care of myself."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that all this running around and worrying won't put any stress on your baby," he said. "Look Mohinder, I may not be trained in prenatal care, but I know that your unborn child feels everything that you're feeling, it feeds off of the environment that you're in. Everything that's gone into and out of your body affects it. So before you go running into a possibly dangerous situation, don't ask yourself whether or not you're up for it, ask yourself how it could potentially affect your child."
Mohinder let out a long, frustrated sigh. He knew that Peter was right, but he didn't like the situation anymore. He felt like punching a wall or breaking a bureau in half, but he kept his anger in check as he went to sit on one of the beds. "You're right," he grumbled wearily.
Peter was silent as he moved to sit down on the mattress beside Mohinder, his eyes trained on the Indian's stomach. "How far along do you think you are?" he asked seriously.
"Three, four months maybe."
The young man gave a thoughtful hum. "That's three or four months without proper prenatal care. No vitamins, no doctor visits-"
"I know," Mohinder cut in, cringing internally at the knowledge of all he had put his child through. All the sedatives and shocks he had been subjected to couldn't have helped things either. "There may not be a baby anyway."
Peter frowned at his words. "You think there's a chance you're not pregnant?"
He nodded slowly. "That and... well, I haven't been taking very good care of myself. It's possible that the baby could have-"
"Don't say that," he cut in quickly. Mohinder stiffened as Peter wrapped his arm around his shoulder, squeezing him reassuringly. "Don't even think that. Everything is going to be fine. I'm sure that your baby is alive; you just need to take better care of yourself. And, and Matt's gonna come back. He just needs some time."
"He has every right not to come back," Mohinder sighed. "I hurt him in the worst possible way. Matt's always wanted to be a father and... this baby may not even be his."
"Well... there's still a chance it's his, right?" Peter asked helpfully. "It could be his."
He nodded weakly. There was a chance, because the dates were close together, but Mohinder still couldn't fight the feeling that the child potentially growing inside of him didn't belong to Matt.
"Then we can still hope for the best. Besides... Matt loves you. He won't walk out on you because of one mistake."
Mohinder sighed, shaking his head at Peter's words. He knew that Peter was just being a good friend by trying to comfort him, but he also knew that the young man was wrong. This wasn't a small mistake, it wasn't as if he had forgotten the dry cleaning or spilled coffee on Matt's uniform, he had slept with someone else. Even if the act had been committed during a sever lapse in judgment, when his mind was literally not working right, the end result was still the same. He had betrayed Matt's trust, broken his heart. Matt had walked out on Janice, walked out on an eleven year marriage, after her infidelity and there was no doubt in the geneticist's mind that he would do the same to him.
Yet despite all that, he did hope. He hoped, he prayed that Peter was right and that Matt would somehow find it in himself to forgive him. Even if he didn't deserve it.
Chapter 3
Author: starrdust411
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Matt/Mohinder
Rating: PG-13
Summary: While on the run from the government, Matt and Mohinder discover a major bump in the road. (Word Count: 4,238)
Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes.
Warnings: Slash, Mpreg, Angst, AU
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
They had crossed the border that morning. They were in Canada now, but somehow Mohinder still did not feel safe.
Yet even though those thoughts of safety and maintaining their cover were not his main concern at the moment, Mohinder was sure to keep them at the surface of his mind. It was a good distraction against what was really bothering him and an easy way to hide thoughts he wanted kept to himself.
The geneticist barely flinched when Matt's hand clamped down on his shoulder, squeezing it gently to pull the Indian out of his thoughts. "Hey. You alright?"
Mohinder shook his head, hunching his shoulders and wrapping his arms tightly around himself. "No," he said honestly, but he had no desire to say more.
Matt frowned looking over his shoulder to glance at Peter before turning his attention back towards Mohinder. "Come here," he began, grabbing the man by his elbow and tugging him closer. "Take a walk with me." Mohinder allowed himself to be lead away, but he kept his hold on himself firm. The Indian couldn't remember being this guarded around Matt since their first meeting and it was disheartening to find himself so tense around the other man so many months later. "What's wrong?"
"I'm just worried," he muttered as they walked along the side of the road. It was a partial truth, but it was good enough since Matt was no doubt feeling the same way. "I don't think we're completely safe here. After all, Hiro Nakamura was captured in Japan and us being in Canada... it seems like an obvious move, doesn't it?"
Matt shrugged, an indifferent look on his face as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, but we're safer here than we were back there. I mean, we still may not be able to use our credit cards or cell phones, but... I dunno, maybe we can get a phone card and call Molly or something."
The Indian felt his lips curl into a smile at the mention of Molly's name. It would be nice to check up on her and make sure that everything was okay. "I would like that," he admitted.
Matt wrapped an arm around Mohinder's shoulder, pulling him against his side. "Maybe we can get passage to India or something. You know, once Peter leaves."
"You know about that?" he asked.
Matt nodded as a serious look slipped onto his face. "Yeah, he told me." He shrugged, scratching the back of his head awkwardly with his other hand. "I dunno. I mean, I think it's dangerous, but..."
"But you want to go with him, don't you?" He frowned, tightening his grip on himself. "You'd rather go out there and put a stop to this situation, but you're stuck here babysitting me."
"I'm not 'babysitting' you," Matt sighed.
"But you're here because of me. You're in hiding because of me."
"So are you trying to tell me you want to go back?" he asked, frustration creeping into his tone.
"No," the geneticist answered simply. "No, I just..." Mohinder stopped as he tried to put his words in order. It was difficult, of course, since there were so many things that he wanted to say, but couldn't. Stopping there, however, would look suspicious so he pushed on, forcing himself to say something. "I don't want to run away," he explained carefully, "but I know that I'm in no condition to fight. But... But I don't want you to feel as if I'm holding you back."
"You're not." Matt startled him by coming to a halt, his hand sliding away from its place wrapped around Mohinder's shoulder. The Indian stiffened a bit when Matt grabbed his biceps, his strong hands squeezing down firmly. "Mohinder, if anything, you're keeping me grounded and that's a good thing. If something happened to you... I don't know what I would do. I'd... I dunno, I'd probably go crazy and start using my ability to get revenge or something."
"You could never do something like that," Mohinder laughed, his eyes instantly drifting towards their feet. "You're a good person." The words left a bitter taste on his lips, making his stomach twist and sink with thoughts of the horrible things he'd done. "Matt..."
His words were cut off when Matt leaned in and pressed their lips together in a quick kiss. When the detective pulled back, there was nothing but affection in his eyes. "You know, same sex marriage is legal in Canada," he said casually, a smile quirking his lips. "Maybe while we're up here-"
"You... you'd want to do that?" Mohinder stammered, flabbergasted. His head was pounding and suddenly it was impossible to tell if Matt was being sincere. "You would... you would actually want to marry me?"
Matt frowned and from the confused look in his eyes, it was obvious he hadn't anticipated this type of reaction. "Well, yeah," he said carefully. "Maybe not today, but, you know... down the road."
"Matt, your divorce has barely been finalized!" he blurted out, his voice louder than he'd intended it to be. "How can you even think of marriage after the way your last one ended?"
"That was a different relationship with a different person," Matt shot back. "Janice and I just weren't right for each other. We tried to make it work for years and... and it just couldn't."
"Yes, Matt, years! You were together for years and we've only known each other a few months!"
"It's not about how much time we put into our relationship, it's about the feelings we have for each other," Matt stressed, weary and frustrated, because the last thing he had been expecting was an argument. "I love you and I know that you love me. That's what it takes to make a relationship work and... and why are you fighting me so hard on this?"
Mohinder shook his head, slowly, angrily, as he tried his best to blink away the tears that were threatening to slip from his eyes. "Because I'm not right for you," he choked. "I'm not the person you think I am and if you knew some of the things I've done, you wouldn't want to be near me, let alone marry me."
Matt stiffened, his face a mask of confusion as his hands slowly slipped away from Mohinder's tense frame. "Mohinder... what are you talking about?"
The geneticist grimaced, his stomach lurching miserably inside of him. "I... I'm, I'm going to be sick," he announced, before turning to sprint over to a nearby bush and retch into it.
The sound of hurried footfalls rushing over to them hardly registered in Mohinder's ears as he stood doubled over and gagging miserably. "What happened?" he heard Peter ask from a few feet away. "What's wrong?"
Mohinder barely heard Matt's grumbled response of "beats me" as he stood up, coughing louder than he would have liked.
Peter was at his side in an instant, clamping a concerned hand on his shoulder. Despite the fact that he wasn't actually looking at him, Mohinder could still feel the younger man's eyes on him, studying him carefully. "You okay?" Peter asked, giving his shoulder a slight squeeze.
"Fine," he lied, stuffing his hands into his pockets miserably. There was a familiar tingle in the back of his head and Mohinder knew right away that someone was trying to read his mind. He wasn't sure if it was Matt or Peter, but the Indian was careful to switch his thoughts to Tamil as he brushed off Peter's hand. "I'm fine," he repeated, walking a few steps away.
"You know guys, three men standing on the side of an open road doesn't look good," Matt said suddenly, drawing their attention away from the awkwardness that had settled upon the group and back to the bigger issue. "Let's get... somewhere."
"On foot?" Mohinder sighed, glancing at the long stretch of empty road. They were probably miles away from anything and he didn't exactly feel up for a hike. "Wonderful. Can we at least get something to eat when we reach whatever it is we're walking to?"
Matt frowned, quirking an eyebrow curiously at Mohinder's suggestion. "You're actually hungry?"
He shrugged. In truth, he didn't feel like eating anything, he merely knew that in his current state he needed something to fill his now empty stomach. "I do still need food to survive," Mohinder said simply, hoping that the excuse would be enough to avoid any follow up questions.
-+-+-+-
"So how much money do we have left?" Matt asked.
They watched as Peter counted out the recently exchanged bills carefully, a displeased frown slowly creeping onto his features. "Less than three hundred," he sighed, looking them both in the eye. "We need to use the rest wisely."
Mohinder sighed, looking out the window at the slowly setting sun. There really wasn't much that they could do now that they were lying low and trying not to use their abilities. Yet even taking into consideration that Peter would probably leave them behind in a day or two, the small amount of money was not enough for two grown men to survive on for very long. He frowned, looking from Peter to Matt and then back again.
Mohinder suddenly felt very trapped, as if the future was rushing in on him at full speed. He swallowed miserably, realizing that there was no way of hiding from this or anything else.
"Peter?" Mohinder began slowly, "Do you think you could give Matt and I a moment alone?"
It was hard to read the worried looks that the two men exchanged at his request, but it didn't matter. The Indian was merely relieved when Peter nodded and stepped out of the motel room without much of a fuss. When the door clicked shut, Mohinder let out a long breath he didn't realize he had been holding before turning towards Matt.
"I'm really sorry I've been so difficult lately," Mohinder told him sincerely.
Matt was silent as he shifted from one foot to the other. It was rare for him to apologize and Matt knew it, so the man was no doubt savoring the moment. "It's not your fault," he said at last. "This situation... it's stressful-"
"More so than you'd imagine," he interrupted. Suddenly the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears was absolutely deafening and seemed to over ride everything else. For a moment his thoughts jumbled, faltering like stacks of paper piled at odd angles, but he forced himself to stay calm. "I've been... I've been trying to figure out how to tell you something... something that will change things between us forever."
He watched as Matt's eyes widened, a look of horror flashing in his gaze. "Are you breaking up with me?"
Mohinder couldn't help the nervous chuckle that bubbled from between his lips at that question. He wished it was that simple. "No," he said truthfully. "No, it's nothing like that." He swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling incredibly tight. "I think you should sit down."
Matt did as he was told, sitting slowly on the edge of a beaten up old desk chair, his eyes never leaving Mohinder's face. "Mohinder... what's going on? Whatever it is, just... just tell me."
"I... I think I know why I've been so sick lately," he began, stopping to lick his lips with his surprisingly dry tongue. "I'm... I think I may be p-pregnant."
The silence that stretched between them was deafening. Mohinder suddenly felt as if he had Dale Smither's ability and could hear butterflies flapping their wings miles away as he waited for some sort of response. Matt didn't react at first, he merely stared at him, tilting his head this way and that as if he were reading his mind, but there was no tingle to indicate that. "You're... you're joking," he determined.
"I wish I was," Mohinder sighed. "But I really think I'm... pregnant."
The word was so awkward to say. It stuck to his tongue stubbornly and took every ounce of strength to push out. And thinking it was no better. The word would float to the surface of his mind and instantly sink away from the pure absurdity of it all. Yet there was evidence, there were symptoms, there were possibilities... he just needed proof.
Matt frowned, his mouth hanging open in a silent question as his eyes drifted towards the ground. "Well... How...? What makes you think this is possible?"
"My mutation," he answered simply. "When I gained my ability I... I changed, inside and out, in ways I couldn't have imagined. When I was cured... well obviously from the fact that I still maintained my strength and agility it wasn't a complete cure. It's possible that some of my internal changes haven't been erased either."
"And one of those changes was the ability to carry a baby?" the detective asked, half laughing at his own words. He shook his head, a strange smile creeping onto his features. "This is... it's so strange. And... and incredible. I don't know what to say." The American stood, taking a step towards him in what seemed like an attempt to embrace him, but Mohinder automatically took a step back. The gesture was more than enough to confuse the other man. Matt paused in his steps as if frozen.
"There's more," Mohinder whispered. His vision blurred slightly, forcing him to blink back the tears that stubbornly wished to slip out. His blood was churning so loudly in his ears that Mohinder barely heard himself say "If I am pregnant, well... I don't know if it's yours."
Matt merely stood there, staring at him in silent shock, but behind the confused expression Mohinder could see the man's heart breaking in his eyes. "You... you cheated on me?"
Hearing the words out loud, spoken by Matt himself no less, only made him feel that much worse. It was as if actually verbalizing the vile act made it that much worse, made his crime realer. Mohinder's face was red with shame as he managed a weak nod.
"You cheated on me!" Matt shouted. He was shaking, panting, and his face was slowly turning red. He looked as if he were going to explode and the sight of his face twisting in pain was enough to make Mohinder sick inside. "You! Of all people! How could you do this to me?"
"Matt," he began, reaching out to touch the other man's arm, but he flinched away automatically as if the touch would burn him. Mohinder swallowed against the lump quickly forming in his throat. "Matt, I can't tell you how sorry I am."
"Sorry?" He laughed bitterly. "If you were 'sorry' you never would have done it in the first place!"
"It happened months ago," he explained. "At Pinehearst."
"Yeah, so that just makes everything better, right?"
Mohinder frowned, scrambling to come up with the right words, but every explanation he came up with sounded pathetic even to his own ears. "Matt, you don't understand. I didn't do it because I don't love you or because I was bored with our relationship. I was... I was hurt and in constant pain and I was so certain that I was dying. I just needed to feel something, needed to know that I was still alive and... and you weren't there."
"So are you trying to say this is my fault?"
"No. I..." he sighed, grabbing Matt's arm tightly. "I just need you to know that it was a mistake and I know that and I would never do anything like that again because I love you!"
"It doesn't change the fact that you already did it once," he grumbled, brushing the Indian's hands away.
"You're right," Mohinder sighed. "And you have every right to be mad at me, but-"
"Who was it?" Matt asked suddenly.
Mohinder felt his insides tighten at the question. He should have known that Matt would ask something like that, but the shame he still felt wouldn't allow him to answer. The Indian sighed, suddenly unable to meet the other man's gaze. "I can't tell you."
Matt frowned. "What do you mean you 'can't'?"
He bit his lip, wrapping his arms around himself. "I just... I can't."
The door swung opened then as Peter stepped inside with a frantic look on his face. "Do you guys not know the meaning of the term 'lay low'?" he whispered tersely before closing the door behind him. "The whole damn motel can hear your screaming!"
Matt's gaze flickered towards Peter for only the briefest instance before he turned his eyes back towards Mohinder. "Was it Peter?" he asked. "Does he know anything about this?"
Peter blinked, utterly lost. "What?"
"No!" Mohinder shouted. "No, it wasn't Peter."
"Then who?"
"What are you guys talking about?" Peter asked, stepping between the two men. "What the hell is going on?"
An awkward silence settled between the three of them, stretching on for what felt like hours. Matt stared at Mohinder expectantly, waiting for him to say something, but the Indian just felt too awkward to even think about explaining the whole situation again.
"You know what, you tell him," Matt huffed at last. "I'm getting out of here."
Matt barely managed to take a step towards the door before Peter grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Matt you're not serious," he gapped. "This is really not the time for us to be splitting up."
The detective frowned, looking back at Mohinder before jerking his arm out of Peter's grasp. "Well I can't stay here. I... I need some air."
"Matt, please," Mohinder reasoned. He already knew that whatever he said would fall on deaf ears, but he couldn't just allow the man to simply walk away. "Peter's right, it's not safe."
"I can't stay here," Matt said again. He didn't even bother to look at Mohinder as he continued towards the door. "I need to clear my head."
"Matt," Mohinder tried once more, moving to go after the other man, but Peter's hand gripping his shoulder was enough to stop him in his tracks. He stood and watched numbly as Matt walked out of the motel room, slamming the door behind him.
-+-+-+-
Thunder rumbled furiously, yet so far not a single drop of rain had fallen. Mohinder frowned as he glanced at his watch and then the clock radio stationed between the two beds. The two hours since Matt had left felt more like days and Mohinder didn't know whether he should go after him or merely accept the fact that he wasn't coming back.
"He's going to come back," Peter said evenly. Despite the young man's confident tone, the way his leg continued to jitter nervously betrayed his calm appearance. "He's just... sorting things out."
Mohinder frowned, pulling back the curtains and scanning the outside world. It was nearly pitch black and the lights in the parking lot weren't doing much to illumine the parked cars stationed underneath them, yet from what the geneticist could see there was still no trace of the detective. "I doubt that," Mohinder lamented. "He's taking a pretty big risk going off on his own like this, just to get away from me no less."
"Matt wouldn't just up and leave us like this," he assured him. "He's going to come back. You just gave him a lot to think about that's all."
A lot to think about was putting it mildly. After all, Mohinder had just told the man that he was supposed to be in a committed relationship with that not only was he pregnant, but possibly having another man's baby. It was already an overwhelming amount of information on its own, but the fact was that this whole situation was far too familiar for Matt. This had all happened to him before, and not only was it happening again, it was happening with someone who had been there with him through the emotional aftermath of that failed relationship.
Mohinder couldn't help feeling low and deceitful for what he'd done. He wouldn't put it passed Matt to decide not to come back at all. Even if he did, Mohinder was certain their relationship was over.
"I should go after him," Mohinder sighed, checking his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. Only a minute had passed, but it was a minute too long for his taste. "It's been hours. Something could have happened."
The Indian had barely managed to take a few steps towards the door before Peter was on his feet, blocking the exit with his body. "Mohinder, I know you're worried, but this is no time for us to be splitting up and wandering around in the dark! Besides, Matt's a cop. I'm sure he's more than capable of taking care of himself."
"Yes, one telepathic police officer against an entire attack squad of men armed with tasers and power canceling sedatives!" Mohinder argued.
"Yeah, and if you go after him it'll be one telepathic police officer and one super strong, pregnant geneticist against an entire attack squad of men armed with tasers and power canceling sedatives," Peter shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. "Besides, we're in Canada. The chances of us being captured have to be significantly decreased."
"Well I can't just stay here and wait for something horrible to happen to him."
"Mohinder, in your condition-"
"My 'condition'?" The geneticist groaned. There were no words to describe what he would give to never hear that phrase again. Unfortunately he felt certain that he was going to hear it quite often in the next few months. "Peter, just because I'm..." He paused. The word "pregnant" still felt strange on his tongue. "I'm still capable of taking care of myself."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that all this running around and worrying won't put any stress on your baby," he said. "Look Mohinder, I may not be trained in prenatal care, but I know that your unborn child feels everything that you're feeling, it feeds off of the environment that you're in. Everything that's gone into and out of your body affects it. So before you go running into a possibly dangerous situation, don't ask yourself whether or not you're up for it, ask yourself how it could potentially affect your child."
Mohinder let out a long, frustrated sigh. He knew that Peter was right, but he didn't like the situation anymore. He felt like punching a wall or breaking a bureau in half, but he kept his anger in check as he went to sit on one of the beds. "You're right," he grumbled wearily.
Peter was silent as he moved to sit down on the mattress beside Mohinder, his eyes trained on the Indian's stomach. "How far along do you think you are?" he asked seriously.
"Three, four months maybe."
The young man gave a thoughtful hum. "That's three or four months without proper prenatal care. No vitamins, no doctor visits-"
"I know," Mohinder cut in, cringing internally at the knowledge of all he had put his child through. All the sedatives and shocks he had been subjected to couldn't have helped things either. "There may not be a baby anyway."
Peter frowned at his words. "You think there's a chance you're not pregnant?"
He nodded slowly. "That and... well, I haven't been taking very good care of myself. It's possible that the baby could have-"
"Don't say that," he cut in quickly. Mohinder stiffened as Peter wrapped his arm around his shoulder, squeezing him reassuringly. "Don't even think that. Everything is going to be fine. I'm sure that your baby is alive; you just need to take better care of yourself. And, and Matt's gonna come back. He just needs some time."
"He has every right not to come back," Mohinder sighed. "I hurt him in the worst possible way. Matt's always wanted to be a father and... this baby may not even be his."
"Well... there's still a chance it's his, right?" Peter asked helpfully. "It could be his."
He nodded weakly. There was a chance, because the dates were close together, but Mohinder still couldn't fight the feeling that the child potentially growing inside of him didn't belong to Matt.
"Then we can still hope for the best. Besides... Matt loves you. He won't walk out on you because of one mistake."
Mohinder sighed, shaking his head at Peter's words. He knew that Peter was just being a good friend by trying to comfort him, but he also knew that the young man was wrong. This wasn't a small mistake, it wasn't as if he had forgotten the dry cleaning or spilled coffee on Matt's uniform, he had slept with someone else. Even if the act had been committed during a sever lapse in judgment, when his mind was literally not working right, the end result was still the same. He had betrayed Matt's trust, broken his heart. Matt had walked out on Janice, walked out on an eleven year marriage, after her infidelity and there was no doubt in the geneticist's mind that he would do the same to him.
Yet despite all that, he did hope. He hoped, he prayed that Peter was right and that Matt would somehow find it in himself to forgive him. Even if he didn't deserve it.
Chapter 3