Autistic Moment

[matt_arnold]

I do not have Asperger's Syndrome, but occasionally I have an Autistic Moment. Several times in my life, I have mistaken the phrase "I don't know how I can be more clear" for a sincere request for a tutorial. I had to learn to catch myself before it is too late.

Comments

[sorcycat]

This really clears up that moment for me. I was worried I had offended.

[desfontaines]

If I ever say that to you, please, do give me a tutorial! It would be good to get more ideas.

[tenebram]

And... it's bad to help people be more clear when they're being insufficiently clear? Am I misunderstanding what your response was, or not understanding why your response was inappropriate?

[matt_arnold]

Sometimes even an appropriate response can be unwelcome, and that makes it inappropriate when one's main goal is to be welcome. "I don't know how I can be more clear" is usually saying the person is already more than sufficiently clear. It identifies the problem as the person who is inadequate in understanding. If the mis-understanding person further mis-interprets that intent, it that only fuels the frustration of the speaker. That adds more heat than light-- enough heat to completely obscure the light.

[jer_]

Generally, when I say "I don't know how I could have been more clear", it is shorthand for "I don't know how I could have been more clear without rendering your involvement entirely superfluous"...and I mean it rhetorically.

If I'm curious how I could have been more clear, I usually phrase it as a question. I think the problem lies in that some folks think that the declarative statement above has a question mark at the end.

[vretallin]

Lol if this s in response to you and I on thursday when I said I knew I wasn't communicating clearly I recognized I was very much confusing matters and putting in too much at once whict I tend to do at times. I find I can get 'stuck' in my speech because my brain is moving faster than I can spit the infomation out. Which happened to me Thursday. I think the rest of weekend I was ok. But I recognize you and I think and process information very differently and I was trying to adapt to what you needed from me. Not sure I suceeded well or not. :)