Ode to an Obsessive Reactionary

[matt_arnold]

Rachel recently noted that I did not try to disappoint my parents during adolescence so I seem to be trying to make up for lost time. :^D Throughout most of my twenties I was really big on family values, permanent commitment, nesting and trying to have bayyybeeez. Settle down? I was born settled down. I might feel differently after I've tried not

Comments

[thatguychuck]

I've never jumped out of a plane. I don't really plan on it. However, you never hear people talking about "How that Chuck guy is never going to jump out of a plane!" The reason is simple: I typically don't mention it. It's not that it's not something important to me, it's just that I don't talk about it unless it's brought up. And then I simply state my opinion and let the conversation move on.

My religious and spiritual beliefs are much the same. I have very strong spiritual beliefs, but they aren't often a topic of conversation. (I have views on religion as a whole, but that's a different topic.) It's not something I make a big deal out of, and therefore other people don't either.

[matt_arnold]

I don't understand your definition of a belief that's important to you, if importance is not synonymous with a big deal. But I'm sure it follows logically from whatever your position on the topic is. I don't consider my beliefs important unless they are the ones that influential opinion leaders are horrifically, dangerously wrong about. Which is why it's difficult for me to be silent, because I've experienced the consequences first-hand. Take for instance, my brother. This fall he's going to the same college I went to, despite my protests that he will be miserable and never acheive his career goals that way. This is why our parents belief in God's will is an important problem. He doesn't have to listen to me, but he knows my opinion. And that I'm there for him if he wants to know where are the gaps in the compound's barbed-wire

[matt_arnold]

It's not just "do they accept me or not?" That's not directly important. It's "once that's ascertained, do they have a good point?" So, I come right out and ask sometimes, Matt's Quality Assurance Satisfaction Questionnaire. In fact, giving other people a fair hearing so that ideas can compete in my mind on a level playing field is the linchpin of my core values. If I want to live in a world where people will stop insulating their minds from legitimate challenge, I can't be hypocritical. An unfortunate side effect is pondering self-evaluation, such as in this livejournal, can occasionally rise to the level of unnecessary second-guessing. Nevertheless, it's rare to find a mirror that can be held up to the soul, more efficiently than the reports of our fellow man. As long as one is careful to evaluate whether the current circles one runs in are providing a distorted funhouse mirror, one should be OK.