Comments | matt1993: 10 reasons why I don't want to live anymore.

matt1993

10 reasons why I don't want to live anymore.

Jul 26, 2020 23:18

1) Most of the comments on the LJ version of my previous entry, in which I somehow became indirectly responsible for two of my LJ friends hating each other.
2-10) Do I even need other reasons?

Yeah, if it wasn't ALREADY 100% guaranteed that I'd never be happy again, it is now.

hatred, depression

Comments 9

pathvain_aelien July 27 2020, 04:45:41 UTC

It sucks when people you like are arguing, but it is also not the end of the world. You don't have to take sides, or stop liking one of them, or anything else. It's okay.

matt1993 July 27 2020, 05:02:18 UTC

It's kind of not. Did you read the entry in question?

It's scary that this happened, because it's ACTUAL, DEFINITE PROOF that people might end up hating ME in such a manner. ANYONE could. You could. Mom could. Dad could. Amanda could.

Until people stop having this idea that "anyone who finds masks uncomfortable and/or doesn't wear them ALL the time is an anti-masker", I have to worry that EVERYONE will hate me. My friends. My family. My coworkers. Celebrities I admire. The creators of my favorite fictional characters.

pathvain_aelien August 9 2020, 20:05:20 UTC

Yes, I did. No, it is not proof of any of those things in the slightest.

People aren't thinking that. You are only thinking they are thinking that. As I've said. Not commenting on it again.

wanderipity July 27 2020, 05:00:56 UTC

You are not responsible to be honest. If my comments had made you upset, feel free to remove them. You can even delete them lol. My intention was just to agree with you. I didn't realize I will get a shoutout here.

It was my fault because I posted a comment while knowing that I will get a reaction. I am sorry that it is someone that you've known for awhile. However, I am not sorry about responding. Hey, apparently I have a weird Livejournal username, also that I am a bad nurse and that I might potentially weigh 500 lbs. ;)

And may I correct you? I don't hate her at all. So don't assume that we hate each other (because it is more one sided, lol). She is entitled to her own opinion/beliefs. Trust me, I am used to that kind of hostility.

I just hope to make that clear. Take care:)

matt1993 July 27 2020, 05:07:59 UTC

If my comments had made you upset, feel free to remove them.

I understand your intention :) Your comments did not upset me. Certain other comments did, but I will leave those so I can use that as an example of why I worry so much about being hated.

Hey, apparently I have a weird Livejournal username, also that I am a bad nurse and that I might potentially weight 500 lbs. ;)

:)

I don't hate her at all. So don't assume that we hate each other (because it is more one sided, lol). She is entitled to her own opinion/beliefs. Trust me, I am used to that kind of hostility.

I know you don't hate her :) I worded it the way I did so I wouldn't feel like I was calling anyone out. It might be a bit too late for that now, but oh well.

mymimikyu July 27 2020, 06:17:43 UTC

Dang. Sorry that you got swept away by this, dude. I also think that masks suck, and losing half of the non-verbal communication by covering half the face is just weird. I've also been in the situation where two people have a disagreement through me, but that was my friend and her friend, who was pissed that I let my friend crash at my house. (eye roll) If you wanna look on the bright side, we'll have some great "back in my day" stories when we're old. XD

matt1993 July 27 2020, 06:24:53 UTC

Dang. Sorry that you got swept away by this, dude.

Thanks :)

. I've also been in the situation where two people have a disagreement through me, but that was my friend and her friend, who was pissed that I let my friend crash at my house. (eye roll)

I'm sorry :( That reminds me of something else that happened that upset me: a friend of mine texted me about something that happened where one of his friends mentioned having a D&D session and my friend threw his phone across the room... and THEN realized the person meant virtually. He's also admitted to me that he's reacted this way when people weren't social distancing IN THE PAST until he realizes that it was in the past. And honestly, in my opinion, that sort of reaction is an overreaction EVEN WHEN it's actually about people hanging out in person this year.

I hope that once this pandemic is over, everyone who's been rude to each other over this realizes that they've been rude about it and makes amends.

If you wanna look on the bright side, we'll have some great "back in my day" ( ... )

mymimikyu July 27 2020, 06:37:36 UTC

Threw his phone?! How does someone get that triggered?? I mean, yes I suppose I understand how and why, with anxiety and the general situation that we are all existing in... but there is a reason that I have so few people that I consider "friends", and it's because I have a low level of tolerance for people. I'm kind and polite to everyone, but my friendship must be earned.

As for my "bright side" comment, I grew up listening to my Grandma tell stories about living through WWII and the Great Depression. I loved hearing about how they lived and were still happy and found crazy ways to have a good life. That's the bright side I'll be telling kids when I get old. That I couldn't find a pink and blue mask so I tried to dye a white one with beet juice and blue berries!

remmingtonglock July 27 2020, 18:13:08 UTC

If we lived closer I'd like to see why you are so hard on yourself. Sending you hugs ❤️💗❤️❤️🌹