The First Kiss

[masked_revenger]

So, this morning, I had a burst of inspiration, and so instead of exercising, I wrote. And you know what happened? My main characters had their first kiss. Pretty exciting. The only thing is, I've never written romance before, so I have no idea how it came out. I'm going to post an exceprt here, of the kiss, and let you all tell me how bad it

Comments

[dragonessfaire]

It's good- But the 1st paragraph has the word damn, or damed a bit much. But I haven't read the rest of the book, so perhaps I am missing some context- like actual damning.... ??

[artemishi]

It's a good kiss (and an even better snuggle). :) If you want it to sound all romance-novel-esque, my only suggestion would be to draw it out more. For women (maybe also for men?), that moment of tension, when your lips are hovering so close to one anothers that they seem to have their own gravity, is delicious. That hesitation, then that mutual unspoken decision to give and receive the kiss....maybe one or two more sentences drawing it out. Otherwise, it feels like it's from the perspective of a capable and strong woman on a mission. Or a man. ;) Yay for first kiss! Yay for upping the word count!