I mean: This was a lovely end to a lovely story. I particularly liked the awkwardness and clumsiness and giggling--very them. And Sarah's last line was perfect; you could have almost ended on that line, but on a second reading I feel like the ending line you chose helps unite the first and second sections with their disparate interior/exterior focuses. I wonder if the first section could be a bit shorter, but then, it's nigh impossible to cut the Doctor off when he's determined to monologue. ;)
Have I mentioned that I have a big ridiculous grin on my face? How remiss of me: I have a big ridiculous grin on my face. Four and Sarah Jane are super-adorable here, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff about them.
It did originally end on that line, but when I was going back through this for a final edit I felt I needed to have that extra bit connecting them- glad you felt the same way!
-laugh- He does get carried away when he thinks.. I'm a little relieved about the ramble though, otherwise I would have felt this chapter would have been too short, and it needed to be on it's own rather than a part of the last one. (it actually was almost a great deal longer, but it got a bit to redundant and I cut him off before he could go on about a different tangent)
I'm so happy this got you grinning- hopefully I'll finish up my other ideas with these two soon..
The only thing left for this story would be an incredibly awkward confrontation with Harry- and I feel it's best to let the individual come up with how that turned out.
Poor Harry, always sticking his foot in it, metaphorically speaking (or not, *points at giant clams*). Harry always was the third wheel with those two.
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Thankyou for my bedtime story, mummy. =:o}
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Ahem.
I mean: This was a lovely end to a lovely story. I particularly liked the awkwardness and clumsiness and giggling--very them. And Sarah's last line was perfect; you could have almost ended on that line, but on a second reading I feel like the ending line you chose helps unite the first and second sections with their disparate interior/exterior focuses. I wonder if the first section could be a bit shorter, but then, it's nigh impossible to cut the Doctor off when he's determined to monologue. ;)
Have I mentioned that I have a big ridiculous grin on my face? How remiss of me: I have a big ridiculous grin on my face. Four and Sarah Jane are super-adorable here, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff about them.
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-laugh- He does get carried away when he thinks.. I'm a little relieved about the ramble though, otherwise I would have felt this chapter would have been too short, and it needed to be on it's own rather than a part of the last one. (it actually was almost a great deal longer, but it got a bit to redundant and I cut him off before he could go on about a different tangent)
I'm so happy this got you grinning- hopefully I'll finish up my other ideas with these two soon..
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I love Four/Sarah (naturally), and this is very very good! I'm sad to see it end!!! :-)
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Glad you enjoyed this :)
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Heh. Tricycles are quite nice when ridden properly. (very bizarre ambiguous statement, feel free to ignore it)
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