Repeat offender
Story Or Series Title:Kidnapped but not afraid
Fandom: Square-enix's Secret Nobody Dating Sim Kingdom Hearts
Culprit Author's Name: clam thief
This author is a repeat offender. In fact that fanfic has been updated with even more painfully painful Sue antics and rape (both of the canon and actual variety). For extra FUN click on the Suethor’s profile to see her complain about the fact that one of her ‘fics got stuck in a “What a KH fanfic should not be” C2 community. (The community also points out some other sporkable fics).
Summary:Sammie just was getting ready to leave for school when three men from an Organization XIII show up to kidnap her. She's confused and just wants to know why she's so important!...And why do three of these guys keep coming on to her? AkuxDemyxSaixOC I don’t get it. Why use JUST Axel’s romanji? Is this to somehow differentiate canon Axel from weepy ukeboy Axel?
Full Name (plus titles if any): Sammie
Full Species(es): Normal (OR SO WE THINK) human
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not said
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not said
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None.
Special Possessions (if any): A sketchbook, an art box, drawing supplies.
Annoying Origin: Unknown. She exists on some sort of world that presumably has a school system.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: No blood relations (yet). Might end up as Luxord’s sex slave. She was chosen to replace Roxas as this ‘fic, much like the last one written by this author that I sporked, takes place after Roxas leaves the organization.
Annoying Special Abilities: She can throw pencils like kunai. She learned how to do this from watching TV. WATCHING TV.
Other Annoying Traits:CALLS EVERYONE A RAPIST. She flings this word around like candy! It’s disgusting! This also happens in the other fics! THE MEMBERS OF ORGANIZATION 13 ARE NOT RAPISTS NOR DO THEY WANT TO PUT THEIR DICKS INTO YOUR OBNOXIOUS LITTLE MARY SUES This story isn’t fanfiction, it’s masturbation on paper.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
“I’m really sorry about this.” He said, rising and standing close to me. “I really am.” He paused, then leaned in at me, and did something that proved to me he was a rapist.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and covered my mouth with his own. Y HELLO THAR WISH FULLFILLMENT I tried pulling away, only for something else to grab me.
“Demyx, we didn’t tell you to do that.” I was plastered against another man, probably older with long, ice blue hair and a crossed scar across his face. “We told you to distract a victim of your choice and wait until we were in place.” I tried to start screaming like hell, just for the other man to cover my mouth. Somehow, I couldn’t even let out a muffled scream. I wasn’t making any sound.
“But that’s one I did!” Demyx whined. “She wasn’t looking, and I saw you and Luxord coming up, so I kissed her! That’s a distraction!”
“That isn’t what we meant.” A third man, this one had to be the one named Luxord. He was a bit older, perhaps in his mid, or late twenties. He looked at me, and I was kind of hypnotized by a large, diamond earring in his left ear. That’d be a Nobody symbol earring, not a diamond earring. “My, aren’t you a cute one?” I glared at him and tried to smack him with my art box. “Violent one too, I like her SaÏx.” He put a hand on my head and pat me gently. What am I? An animal!
“She isn’t for you, Luxord.” SaÏx growled. “The Superior wants to add another woman to the Organization, since Roxas has left us.”
“W-Wait!” Demyx interrupted “Roxas is gone for good? Since when!”
“Since the Superior banned him!” SaÏx snapped. Roxas: You can’t ban me! I quit! Xemnas: That’s not what the Organization 13 monthly newsletter will say. Muahahahaha. “We need a new member, or we will no longer be Organization XIII! We are not Organization XII! There are to be thirteen of us, not twelve!” Demyx shifted back. “And I am your superior! Do not speak to me as if I was one of your lessers!”
“Yes, Sir.” Demyx sulked. “B-But, I was wondering what we had planned for her.” Luxord began laughing.
“She’s going to be my new sex slave.” Whoah, wait, what the SHIT? See, part of me hopes that’s just Luxord being an OOCish meanie and is not actually serious but given this author’s history-GODDAMNIT LUXORD DOES NOT WANT TO TAP YOUR TEENAGED ASS. He chuckled. My eyes widened and I tried to squirm away from SaÏx. “SaÏx, uncover her mouth already, I want to talk to her.”
SaÏx removed his hand from my mouth , I was afraid to open my mouth now. “What’s your name?” Luxord asked.
“S-Sammie…” I muttered. “C-Can I go home?”
Demyx lead me down a bunch of the searing white halls, muttering things about how he still thought that this ‘Axel’ was a bad influence on the younger members. He was talking about how that ‘Roxas’ and ‘Axel’ were the worst couple in the Organization. ”He doesn’t like talking about it.” Commented Demyx, “But facts are facts, voted 11-2 as the ‘Worst couple of the Organization’ for our 2005 new year superlatives. Roxas took that one kinda hard.”
“Couple!” I shouted. “What!” I stopped in the hallway, seeing Demyx stop a few feet from me.
“Yeah, they were dating.” He said, causing my mouth to drop.
“There are gay men in this…thing!” I gasped. “GAY MEN!” I suddenly found myself somewhat interested in this Organization XIII. What teenage girl doesn’t like seeing some hot gay guys making out! (I don’t know of many!)
Sue log, date 8-24-06
I made a horrifying discovery today. For many years it has been well documented that Mary Sues are aversive to gay relationships. This is primarily due to the fact that a gay man would have no interest in a Sue, no matter how attractive they are. As a Sue is generally an extension or self insertion of a Suethor, the Suethor often shares this aversion towards “the gay” or “yaoi”.
Until now.
I believe I have discovered the first hybrid, which I have theorized as the unholy and impossible offspring of a Suethor and a Yaoi-author (The ‘Impossible Breeding Theory’). This Sue displays great tolerance towards homosexual male activities and is actually turned on by them. An alternative explanation to the Impossible Breeding Theory is that this was evolved by the Sues as a mechanism to invade previously uninhabitable habitats (purported orgies of gay men). By displaying tolerance towards their lifestyle choices, the Sue lures the men into inviting her to join in on mating activities. There is a 20% chance that later, the Sue will claim that this event was rape.
“It was more like a slightly romantic, more like brotherly relationship.” Demyx corrected, placing his head against his palm. “The last girl we tried to bring here, ran away, complaining about how her religion didn’t accept it.” Apparently they didn’t learn from their mistakes and continued trying to bring stupid teenage girls into the Organization.
I sighed, and started walking again. “And why do I have to meet this Axel?” I shivered thinking of an guy, depressed in a room, acting like an emo boy, ready to attack anything that would be use to cheer him up. Okay, this obviously isn’t canon because I don’t remember Axel moping like a little bitch after Roxas left. Besides, he’s a Nobody and by virtue CANNOT ACT EMO BECAUSE THAT WOULD REQUIRE HAVING EMOTIONS.
“Whazyername?” Axel asked, closing the door and mumbling groggily.
“Sammie.” I said, looking for somewhere to sit as I saw Axel collapse on to a sheetless and blanketless mattress. I found a spinny chair and started to sit down.
“You might now want to sit there…Too late.” Axel grumbled, seeing the chair collapse from underneath me and two sets of handcuffs wrap around my wrists, releasing from the bottom of the wrecked chair.
“What the hell is this!” I shouted, trying to get free. Axel got off the bed and crouched down next to me and started picking at the handcuffs locks.
“I like chaining myself up.” Axel..into bondage? ..oh my. He muttered, unlocking one of the handcuffs and freeing one of my hands. “Don’t ask anything about it.”
Inside, I was cracking up, thinking of this guy who had just been a complete ass to me, as an uke boy.
Sue log, 8-24-06
The hybrid Sue has shown instances of using some of the typical and vile yaoi-based clichés in her thought patterns. Perhaps this is a way to integrate and relate to pure yaoi authors in an effort to gain approval.
“What’re you giggling about?” he growled, leaving the locked handcuff on my hand. I realized I was laughing aloud, and trust me, it was one of those “Oh shit,” kind of moments.
“You were just, a complete…ass a minute ago.” I reminded. “And now, you’re starting to remind me of an uke boy.” DÉJÀ VU
Axel sighed. “My whole personality’s been out of whack since Rox left. I don’t know how I should feeling about anything. I’m either angry or sad all the time.” He explained starting to work on the lock of the handcuff again. “About the women thing though…” he seemed to shudder. “The only girl in the Organization is the pure example of feminine bitchiness.” Bitchy? Yes. Feminine? Not really. Sadistic? Yes. Better than your motherfucking Sue? Definitely.
There are a ton of other WTF-tastic moments in the second chapter I’ve left out so you might want to go take a look at it.
Fandom: Square-enix's Secret Nobody Dating Sim Kingdom Hearts
Culprit Author's Name: clam thief
This author is a repeat offender. In fact that fanfic has been updated with even more painfully painful Sue antics and rape (both of the canon and actual variety). For extra FUN click on the Suethor’s profile to see her complain about the fact that one of her ‘fics got stuck in a “What a KH fanfic should not be” C2 community. (The community also points out some other sporkable fics).
Summary:Sammie just was getting ready to leave for school when three men from an Organization XIII show up to kidnap her. She's confused and just wants to know why she's so important!...And why do three of these guys keep coming on to her? AkuxDemyxSaixOC I don’t get it. Why use JUST Axel’s romanji? Is this to somehow differentiate canon Axel from weepy ukeboy Axel?
Full Name (plus titles if any): Sammie
Full Species(es): Normal (OR SO WE THINK) human
Hair Color (include adjectives): Not said
Eye Color (include adjectives): Not said
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None.
Special Possessions (if any): A sketchbook, an art box, drawing supplies.
Annoying Origin: Unknown. She exists on some sort of world that presumably has a school system.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: No blood relations (yet). Might end up as Luxord’s sex slave. She was chosen to replace Roxas as this ‘fic, much like the last one written by this author that I sporked, takes place after Roxas leaves the organization.
Annoying Special Abilities: She can throw pencils like kunai. She learned how to do this from watching TV. WATCHING TV.
Other Annoying Traits:CALLS EVERYONE A RAPIST. She flings this word around like candy! It’s disgusting! This also happens in the other fics! THE MEMBERS OF ORGANIZATION 13 ARE NOT RAPISTS NOR DO THEY WANT TO PUT THEIR DICKS INTO YOUR OBNOXIOUS LITTLE MARY SUES This story isn’t fanfiction, it’s masturbation on paper.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
“I’m really sorry about this.” He said, rising and standing close to me. “I really am.” He paused, then leaned in at me, and did something that proved to me he was a rapist.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and covered my mouth with his own. Y HELLO THAR WISH FULLFILLMENT I tried pulling away, only for something else to grab me.
“Demyx, we didn’t tell you to do that.” I was plastered against another man, probably older with long, ice blue hair and a crossed scar across his face. “We told you to distract a victim of your choice and wait until we were in place.” I tried to start screaming like hell, just for the other man to cover my mouth. Somehow, I couldn’t even let out a muffled scream. I wasn’t making any sound.
“But that’s one I did!” Demyx whined. “She wasn’t looking, and I saw you and Luxord coming up, so I kissed her! That’s a distraction!”
“That isn’t what we meant.” A third man, this one had to be the one named Luxord. He was a bit older, perhaps in his mid, or late twenties. He looked at me, and I was kind of hypnotized by a large, diamond earring in his left ear. That’d be a Nobody symbol earring, not a diamond earring. “My, aren’t you a cute one?” I glared at him and tried to smack him with my art box. “Violent one too, I like her SaÏx.” He put a hand on my head and pat me gently. What am I? An animal!
“She isn’t for you, Luxord.” SaÏx growled. “The Superior wants to add another woman to the Organization, since Roxas has left us.”
“W-Wait!” Demyx interrupted “Roxas is gone for good? Since when!”
“Since the Superior banned him!” SaÏx snapped. Roxas: You can’t ban me! I quit! Xemnas: That’s not what the Organization 13 monthly newsletter will say. Muahahahaha. “We need a new member, or we will no longer be Organization XIII! We are not Organization XII! There are to be thirteen of us, not twelve!” Demyx shifted back. “And I am your superior! Do not speak to me as if I was one of your lessers!”
“Yes, Sir.” Demyx sulked. “B-But, I was wondering what we had planned for her.” Luxord began laughing.
“She’s going to be my new sex slave.” Whoah, wait, what the SHIT? See, part of me hopes that’s just Luxord being an OOCish meanie and is not actually serious but given this author’s history-GODDAMNIT LUXORD DOES NOT WANT TO TAP YOUR TEENAGED ASS. He chuckled. My eyes widened and I tried to squirm away from SaÏx. “SaÏx, uncover her mouth already, I want to talk to her.”
SaÏx removed his hand from my mouth , I was afraid to open my mouth now. “What’s your name?” Luxord asked.
“S-Sammie…” I muttered. “C-Can I go home?”
Demyx lead me down a bunch of the searing white halls, muttering things about how he still thought that this ‘Axel’ was a bad influence on the younger members. He was talking about how that ‘Roxas’ and ‘Axel’ were the worst couple in the Organization. ”He doesn’t like talking about it.” Commented Demyx, “But facts are facts, voted 11-2 as the ‘Worst couple of the Organization’ for our 2005 new year superlatives. Roxas took that one kinda hard.”
“Couple!” I shouted. “What!” I stopped in the hallway, seeing Demyx stop a few feet from me.
“Yeah, they were dating.” He said, causing my mouth to drop.
“There are gay men in this…thing!” I gasped. “GAY MEN!” I suddenly found myself somewhat interested in this Organization XIII. What teenage girl doesn’t like seeing some hot gay guys making out! (I don’t know of many!)
Sue log, date 8-24-06
I made a horrifying discovery today. For many years it has been well documented that Mary Sues are aversive to gay relationships. This is primarily due to the fact that a gay man would have no interest in a Sue, no matter how attractive they are. As a Sue is generally an extension or self insertion of a Suethor, the Suethor often shares this aversion towards “the gay” or “yaoi”.
Until now.
I believe I have discovered the first hybrid, which I have theorized as the unholy and impossible offspring of a Suethor and a Yaoi-author (The ‘Impossible Breeding Theory’). This Sue displays great tolerance towards homosexual male activities and is actually turned on by them. An alternative explanation to the Impossible Breeding Theory is that this was evolved by the Sues as a mechanism to invade previously uninhabitable habitats (purported orgies of gay men). By displaying tolerance towards their lifestyle choices, the Sue lures the men into inviting her to join in on mating activities. There is a 20% chance that later, the Sue will claim that this event was rape.
“It was more like a slightly romantic, more like brotherly relationship.” Demyx corrected, placing his head against his palm. “The last girl we tried to bring here, ran away, complaining about how her religion didn’t accept it.” Apparently they didn’t learn from their mistakes and continued trying to bring stupid teenage girls into the Organization.
I sighed, and started walking again. “And why do I have to meet this Axel?” I shivered thinking of an guy, depressed in a room, acting like an emo boy, ready to attack anything that would be use to cheer him up. Okay, this obviously isn’t canon because I don’t remember Axel moping like a little bitch after Roxas left. Besides, he’s a Nobody and by virtue CANNOT ACT EMO BECAUSE THAT WOULD REQUIRE HAVING EMOTIONS.
“Whazyername?” Axel asked, closing the door and mumbling groggily.
“Sammie.” I said, looking for somewhere to sit as I saw Axel collapse on to a sheetless and blanketless mattress. I found a spinny chair and started to sit down.
“You might now want to sit there…Too late.” Axel grumbled, seeing the chair collapse from underneath me and two sets of handcuffs wrap around my wrists, releasing from the bottom of the wrecked chair.
“What the hell is this!” I shouted, trying to get free. Axel got off the bed and crouched down next to me and started picking at the handcuffs locks.
“I like chaining myself up.” Axel..into bondage? ..oh my. He muttered, unlocking one of the handcuffs and freeing one of my hands. “Don’t ask anything about it.”
Inside, I was cracking up, thinking of this guy who had just been a complete ass to me, as an uke boy.
Sue log, 8-24-06
The hybrid Sue has shown instances of using some of the typical and vile yaoi-based clichés in her thought patterns. Perhaps this is a way to integrate and relate to pure yaoi authors in an effort to gain approval.
“What’re you giggling about?” he growled, leaving the locked handcuff on my hand. I realized I was laughing aloud, and trust me, it was one of those “Oh shit,” kind of moments.
“You were just, a complete…ass a minute ago.” I reminded. “And now, you’re starting to remind me of an uke boy.” DÉJÀ VU
Axel sighed. “My whole personality’s been out of whack since Rox left. I don’t know how I should feeling about anything. I’m either angry or sad all the time.” He explained starting to work on the lock of the handcuff again. “About the women thing though…” he seemed to shudder. “The only girl in the Organization is the pure example of feminine bitchiness.” Bitchy? Yes. Feminine? Not really. Sadistic? Yes. Better than your motherfucking Sue? Definitely.
There are a ton of other WTF-tastic moments in the second chapter I’ve left out so you might want to go take a look at it.