fic - a particular item
Fandom: Naruto
Title: A Particular Item
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Kakashi, Sakura, Ino, drive-by mentions of Tsunade and Shikamaru; Kakashi/Sakura, mention of Shikamaru/Ino
Genre: Humor, Romance
Word Count: 1,620
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, nor am I associated in any way with any of the actual owners of Naruto. This is a work of fanfiction, purely for fun, not profit.
Notes: Giftfic for Christine, who requested KakaSaku; her porn video collection. This was due about a month ago, and I am so very sorry for the delay. Blame Leverage.
The phone rings in the dead of night. Her lover is away this weekend, occupied with work. Her source has been hard at work tracking down this particular…item. She had given the go-ahead at the start of this endeavor to call at any time of day or night when it was found.
Even so, today was a hard day, and she can’t stop the growl of irritation when she picks up.
“What?”
“I found it,” the hushed voice on the other end says. “Tomorrow, eight A.M., Momo’s Café.”
“In public?” she asks incredulously. “If this is discovered, I’ll be--”
“I am utterly discreet when it is necessary,” she is told shortly. Her source is offended.
“I apologise,” she says. “Tomorrow morning, then. I’ll be seeing you.”
“See you.”
She hangs up and is entirely unable to squelch the giddy squeal and excited bounce that sends a pillow and her silky duvet off the far side of the bed.
It takes her nearly an hour to fall back to sleep.
--
The last thing Kakashi expected after flying home from a three-day business conference that had melted his brain into mush was to find his girlfriend gone from their bed in the morning on her day off.
Sakura was a chemist in the research and development department at Leaf Pharmaceutical. She put in long hours at her lab, often coming home and dropping into bed with little more than a kiss goodnight for her beloved boyfriend. She was never out of bed before noon on her rare days off, and even then, he often had to force her to get up.
The woman loved her sleeping-in time.
And he’d gotten in hours earlier than expected, hoping to have a little downtime with his lady before he had to go back to the office tomorrow and give his presentation.
Kakashi glanced at the clock as he set his travel bag down at the foot of their neatly made bed. It was only nine in the morning. Had she been called in? The head of her division, a large-busted blonde woman with a terrifying temper whose name tended to escape him, was usually pretty strict about Sakura’s days off. And Sakura was usually pretty strict about leaving a message for him on the small whiteboard stuck to the freezer door in the kitchen when plans changed.
He meandered out of their bedroom and into the living room, where he spotted nothing out of the ordinary, and made his way into the kitchen. There wasn’t a note on the whiteboard, but he hadn’t really expected one--she hadn’t been expecting him until that night. But when he opened the refrigerator, there was a plate with two waffles and three bacon strips next to a bowl of fruit.
After breakfast, he decided, he’d do a little deep cleaning around the place. If he wasn’t going to be having sex with the woman he loved, he may as well put the time to use cleaning. So he set the plate in the microwave to warm and set about tracking down a notepad and pen to make a list of everything he’d need to get it all done.
He muttered to himself as he cut up the waffles, turning on the radio. Sakura thought it was a secret that she listened to heavy metal when he was gone, but he’d come home more than once to find the station tuned to it. Kakashi thought it was cute that, despite everything he knew about her, she still wanted him to think she was mostly demure.
Turning up the volume as he carried his supplies into the bedroom, Kakashi only half-listened as he went about dusting and polishing furniture, sweeping and mopping the floor, vacuuming the rug, and re-organising the dresser.
It took him about an hour and a half to get through cleaning most of the room.
And then he opened the closet. Shoes flew at him.
Nearly every woman he’d ever met had a shoe fetish, and Sakura was no exception. She went shoe shopping at least once a month--even had a regular date with her best friend, Ino, and she never came home with less than three pairs every time.
He sighed. He’d bought that damn rack for her to get them all organised and yet here they were, erupting from their closet like an angry volcano. He sat down, resigned, and began to sort through the shoes. It was going to take at least a couple of hours to get to the bottom of this pile.
He was generous in his estimate by twelve minutes, and at the end of it all, he found the shelving unit buried under the shoes, still in the unopened box, propped against the wall. Behind it sat a large, plain, unmarked cardboard box. He’d never seen it before.
Inside were tapes.
--
“These are fabulous!”
Ino was holding a pair of open-toed navy blue pumps with a dreamy expression on her face. Sakura looked up from her examination of brown suede boots and took in the price tag.
“Gorgeous,” she commented, “but if you bought those, you and your husband would starve to death.”
Ino made a dismissive noise. “Shikamaru hardly eats anything at all,” she replied. “He wouldn’t even notice if there was no food in the house.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him all the credit he deserves,” Sakura said. “He’s not nearly as lazy as he lets you believe. I honestly don’t know how you haven’t figured that out yet…” She sighed wistfully and forced herself to walk away from the boots. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to realise she had a problem with compulsive shopping, and as the saying went, the first step to recovery was admitting that.
She didn’t need any more shoes. No matter how soft the suede was or how well they’d go with that one dress…
She shook her head and checked her watch. It was getting pretty close to one o’clock, and she wanted to clean a bit before Kakashi got home later that evening--maybe even have a simple dinner prepared for him when he walked in the door. She was hardly a gourmet chef, but Sakura knew her way around her own kitchen.
That, and she wanted desperately to get out of the shoe store before she ended up buying the entirety of the clearance aisle. Ino wasn’t helping as she petted strappy gold wedges, practically drooling.
“I should go,” she said aloud, startling her friend out of her shoe-induced high. “Kakashi’s coming home today and I need to get some stuff done around the house before his flight gets in.”
“But…you can’t go!” Ino protested, latching onto her elbow. “A woman can’t shoe-shop by herself, that’s just pitiful. And I’m not done yet.”
Sakura shook her off, feeling the weight of the brown-paper-wrapped package in her purse. She’d spent the entire day with Ino, starting early that morning with a huge, calorie- and carbohydrate-loaded breakfast at their favorite little diner, Momo’s Café. Ino had gotten hold of something important for her, something she’d wanted for a long time, which was the only reason she wasn’t still in her bed, dozing and just being lazy.
Her best friend was clearly unhappy at the turn her afternoon was taking, but she hugged Sakura tightly when they parted ways outside the shoe store. Ino patted Sakura’s purse with a conspiratorial smile. “Enjoy that, hon,” she murmured. Sakura paled and Ino walked off with a smug smirk.
On the drive back home, Sakura stopped and picked up a little something to eat because she and Ino had missed lunch in their joyous shopping extravaganza. She was rather proud of herself. She’d only picked up one pair of shoes today, and she did legitimately need them. Tsunade had been riding her ass hard lately and the latest reprimand had stuck with her.
The shoes she’d been wearing to work were unacceptable. Tsunade had been very clear that she needed to get some that were allowed under the company’s policy or she was getting a write-up.
Sakura could not afford another write-up. Another write-up would mean an unpaid suspension.
She polished off the wrap as she pulled into her assigned space in her apartment building’s parking lot. Unfamiliarly light shopping bag in hand, she unlocked the door to the back lobby and rode the elevator to her floor.
When she opened the door to her apartment, faint sound reached her ears. She closed the door as softly as she could and began to creep through her own home, removing her shoes and picking up an ugly, heavy brass candlestick on her way past it in the hallway.
The bedroom door was closed; she was positive she’d left it open that morning. Sakura paused a moment to press an ear against the door, and heard music playing.
She recognised it. It was the theme from the dirtiest of the tapes she kept hidden in the back of her closet. She kept the box a secret from Kakashi--from everyone.
And yet there it was, playing from the small TV on the dresser. Either someone had broken in and gotten distracted or Kakashi had discovered her collection of highly pornographic videos.
Sakura prayed it was a distracted thief.
She cracked the door open and spotted Kakashi sprawled across their bed, watching two men going at it with an expression of horrified fascination. Dropping the candlestick and throwing the door wide, Sakura stepped into the room, red as a tomato and beyond mortified.
Kakashi’s face cycled from the horror to smug, and he said, “Why, Sakura…I never knew you were such a kink.”
Title: A Particular Item
Chapter: N/A, complete oneshot
Characters/Pairings: Kakashi, Sakura, Ino, drive-by mentions of Tsunade and Shikamaru; Kakashi/Sakura, mention of Shikamaru/Ino
Genre: Humor, Romance
Word Count: 1,620
Rating: T/PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, nor am I associated in any way with any of the actual owners of Naruto. This is a work of fanfiction, purely for fun, not profit.
Notes: Giftfic for Christine, who requested KakaSaku; her porn video collection. This was due about a month ago, and I am so very sorry for the delay. Blame Leverage.
The phone rings in the dead of night. Her lover is away this weekend, occupied with work. Her source has been hard at work tracking down this particular…item. She had given the go-ahead at the start of this endeavor to call at any time of day or night when it was found.
Even so, today was a hard day, and she can’t stop the growl of irritation when she picks up.
“What?”
“I found it,” the hushed voice on the other end says. “Tomorrow, eight A.M., Momo’s Café.”
“In public?” she asks incredulously. “If this is discovered, I’ll be--”
“I am utterly discreet when it is necessary,” she is told shortly. Her source is offended.
“I apologise,” she says. “Tomorrow morning, then. I’ll be seeing you.”
“See you.”
She hangs up and is entirely unable to squelch the giddy squeal and excited bounce that sends a pillow and her silky duvet off the far side of the bed.
It takes her nearly an hour to fall back to sleep.
--
The last thing Kakashi expected after flying home from a three-day business conference that had melted his brain into mush was to find his girlfriend gone from their bed in the morning on her day off.
Sakura was a chemist in the research and development department at Leaf Pharmaceutical. She put in long hours at her lab, often coming home and dropping into bed with little more than a kiss goodnight for her beloved boyfriend. She was never out of bed before noon on her rare days off, and even then, he often had to force her to get up.
The woman loved her sleeping-in time.
And he’d gotten in hours earlier than expected, hoping to have a little downtime with his lady before he had to go back to the office tomorrow and give his presentation.
Kakashi glanced at the clock as he set his travel bag down at the foot of their neatly made bed. It was only nine in the morning. Had she been called in? The head of her division, a large-busted blonde woman with a terrifying temper whose name tended to escape him, was usually pretty strict about Sakura’s days off. And Sakura was usually pretty strict about leaving a message for him on the small whiteboard stuck to the freezer door in the kitchen when plans changed.
He meandered out of their bedroom and into the living room, where he spotted nothing out of the ordinary, and made his way into the kitchen. There wasn’t a note on the whiteboard, but he hadn’t really expected one--she hadn’t been expecting him until that night. But when he opened the refrigerator, there was a plate with two waffles and three bacon strips next to a bowl of fruit.
After breakfast, he decided, he’d do a little deep cleaning around the place. If he wasn’t going to be having sex with the woman he loved, he may as well put the time to use cleaning. So he set the plate in the microwave to warm and set about tracking down a notepad and pen to make a list of everything he’d need to get it all done.
He muttered to himself as he cut up the waffles, turning on the radio. Sakura thought it was a secret that she listened to heavy metal when he was gone, but he’d come home more than once to find the station tuned to it. Kakashi thought it was cute that, despite everything he knew about her, she still wanted him to think she was mostly demure.
Turning up the volume as he carried his supplies into the bedroom, Kakashi only half-listened as he went about dusting and polishing furniture, sweeping and mopping the floor, vacuuming the rug, and re-organising the dresser.
It took him about an hour and a half to get through cleaning most of the room.
And then he opened the closet. Shoes flew at him.
Nearly every woman he’d ever met had a shoe fetish, and Sakura was no exception. She went shoe shopping at least once a month--even had a regular date with her best friend, Ino, and she never came home with less than three pairs every time.
He sighed. He’d bought that damn rack for her to get them all organised and yet here they were, erupting from their closet like an angry volcano. He sat down, resigned, and began to sort through the shoes. It was going to take at least a couple of hours to get to the bottom of this pile.
He was generous in his estimate by twelve minutes, and at the end of it all, he found the shelving unit buried under the shoes, still in the unopened box, propped against the wall. Behind it sat a large, plain, unmarked cardboard box. He’d never seen it before.
Inside were tapes.
--
“These are fabulous!”
Ino was holding a pair of open-toed navy blue pumps with a dreamy expression on her face. Sakura looked up from her examination of brown suede boots and took in the price tag.
“Gorgeous,” she commented, “but if you bought those, you and your husband would starve to death.”
Ino made a dismissive noise. “Shikamaru hardly eats anything at all,” she replied. “He wouldn’t even notice if there was no food in the house.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him all the credit he deserves,” Sakura said. “He’s not nearly as lazy as he lets you believe. I honestly don’t know how you haven’t figured that out yet…” She sighed wistfully and forced herself to walk away from the boots. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to realise she had a problem with compulsive shopping, and as the saying went, the first step to recovery was admitting that.
She didn’t need any more shoes. No matter how soft the suede was or how well they’d go with that one dress…
She shook her head and checked her watch. It was getting pretty close to one o’clock, and she wanted to clean a bit before Kakashi got home later that evening--maybe even have a simple dinner prepared for him when he walked in the door. She was hardly a gourmet chef, but Sakura knew her way around her own kitchen.
That, and she wanted desperately to get out of the shoe store before she ended up buying the entirety of the clearance aisle. Ino wasn’t helping as she petted strappy gold wedges, practically drooling.
“I should go,” she said aloud, startling her friend out of her shoe-induced high. “Kakashi’s coming home today and I need to get some stuff done around the house before his flight gets in.”
“But…you can’t go!” Ino protested, latching onto her elbow. “A woman can’t shoe-shop by herself, that’s just pitiful. And I’m not done yet.”
Sakura shook her off, feeling the weight of the brown-paper-wrapped package in her purse. She’d spent the entire day with Ino, starting early that morning with a huge, calorie- and carbohydrate-loaded breakfast at their favorite little diner, Momo’s Café. Ino had gotten hold of something important for her, something she’d wanted for a long time, which was the only reason she wasn’t still in her bed, dozing and just being lazy.
Her best friend was clearly unhappy at the turn her afternoon was taking, but she hugged Sakura tightly when they parted ways outside the shoe store. Ino patted Sakura’s purse with a conspiratorial smile. “Enjoy that, hon,” she murmured. Sakura paled and Ino walked off with a smug smirk.
On the drive back home, Sakura stopped and picked up a little something to eat because she and Ino had missed lunch in their joyous shopping extravaganza. She was rather proud of herself. She’d only picked up one pair of shoes today, and she did legitimately need them. Tsunade had been riding her ass hard lately and the latest reprimand had stuck with her.
The shoes she’d been wearing to work were unacceptable. Tsunade had been very clear that she needed to get some that were allowed under the company’s policy or she was getting a write-up.
Sakura could not afford another write-up. Another write-up would mean an unpaid suspension.
She polished off the wrap as she pulled into her assigned space in her apartment building’s parking lot. Unfamiliarly light shopping bag in hand, she unlocked the door to the back lobby and rode the elevator to her floor.
When she opened the door to her apartment, faint sound reached her ears. She closed the door as softly as she could and began to creep through her own home, removing her shoes and picking up an ugly, heavy brass candlestick on her way past it in the hallway.
The bedroom door was closed; she was positive she’d left it open that morning. Sakura paused a moment to press an ear against the door, and heard music playing.
She recognised it. It was the theme from the dirtiest of the tapes she kept hidden in the back of her closet. She kept the box a secret from Kakashi--from everyone.
And yet there it was, playing from the small TV on the dresser. Either someone had broken in and gotten distracted or Kakashi had discovered her collection of highly pornographic videos.
Sakura prayed it was a distracted thief.
She cracked the door open and spotted Kakashi sprawled across their bed, watching two men going at it with an expression of horrified fascination. Dropping the candlestick and throwing the door wide, Sakura stepped into the room, red as a tomato and beyond mortified.
Kakashi’s face cycled from the horror to smug, and he said, “Why, Sakura…I never knew you were such a kink.”