Picspam! For episode 3.11, "The Born Identity" - Part One
Hello, Everyone! Here's Part One of the picspam for the 11th episode! Check it out under the cut, if you like.
Mary and Marshall are thrilled to be in an episode where they actually work together.
How about a trip through time for this week's Marshall Mann Moment of Nerd-ness?
Here is some well-preserved footage that was shot from the front of a cable car traveling down Market Street in San Francisco in 1905. Sounds boring, but it is actually kinda fascinating. And then someone went and paired it with Air's La Femme D'argent, and it's downright hypnotic:
Click to viewAside from being a fascinating little glimpse into that time period, I'm really amused to see a cop who actually looks like those old-timey cops from old cartoons. You know, like this:
Also fascinating to see all the modes of transportation in use - cable cars, street cars, regular cars, horse-drawn carts, bicycles, etc. And interesting to see that back then traffic laws were, at best, a suggestion. I'm surprised it isn't vehicular manslaughter all through that film with the way people just drove around willy-nilly and kids playing chicken with the cable car and people hanging off of cars. I guess people just had faster reflexes back then.
And now, on to our show!
This episode starts off with:
A hobo! In Seattle! He awakens to the lovely strains of classical music playing through some speaks jerry-rigged to an iPod.
They also REALLY want you to take note of the O-chem, calculus and quantum physics booking lying around. This ain't your Momma's hobo! Or Brandi's hobo for that matter. She seems to enjoy the drinky/stabby hobos a bit more than the intellectual ones.
They clearly want us to believe that our hobo is living in some sort of deep, dark dungeon, what with the music and the tiny window of sunlight, but in fact...
He lives at the library! One that kinda doesn't exist in Seattle, and if it did, it probably wouldn't have those Spanish-style arched doorways. But good job on the Pacific NW Native American-esque stuff on the sign, show!
Speaking of Seattle...
SEATTLE! Including the Kingdome, which, uh, was demolished back in 2000. Pay no attention to the large white structure in the upper right of this picture!! This is a totally current shot!! Move along!
Our hobo is strolling through a local park that is decorated in totally-Seattle-like-except-not turquoise. He's picking through the trash looking for treasure.
Treasure! In the form of an alarm clock from 1972. Who the hell goes to a public park to throw away their 1972 alarm clock? They must have really wanted to get away from that thing.
While on his treasure hunt, our heroic hobo notices these dudes acting shifty, and dropping a large garbage bag into one of the trash cans. Man, they must have A LOT of 1972 alarm clocks they need to ditch.
"Hmmmmmm. Shifty."
So hobo goes to check it out and...
!!!!!!
Ruh-roh!
So our hobo freaks the crap out and starts screaming at people for their cell phones. Since he's acting like a drinky/stabby hobo, nobody wants to hand over their phone to him. Dude, your books tell us you're smart, why didn't you just ask someone to dial 911 for you?
But our hero hobo finds a pay phone in time and reports the bomb. Congratulations, hobo! You win a one-way trip to WitSec!
Over in Albuquerque, Marshall reads about the hobo's heroics in a Seattle paper that totally exists except not. How did Marshall get a hard copy of a Seattle paper?
Anyway, he and Mary are super-impressed with heroic hobo's heroics. Heroic Hobo just tells them to save it.
Marshall is kinda surprised that heroic hobo doesn't seem all that excited about it.
As is Mary. But she moves on and tells him that he will get money from Uncle Sam - enough for rent, car, utilities.
Heroic Hobo just shrugs that he doesn't drive and insists that he can get all that stuff for free.
Mary and Marshall giggle over the idea of arresting their witness for stealing electricity.
Finally Marshall is all, "You're a smarty-pants, why were you living in a hidey-hole under the library?"
"I'm a huge Paul Erdős fan."
Marshall gets it now, and is delighted to be in the presence of a fellow nerd.
Mary, however, is all "Buh?"
So Marshall gleefully starts dorking out about Erdős, explaining that he was a mathematician who just sort of traveled around and didn't really put down roots.
This is Erdős, by the way. Pretty dapper for a hobo, no? Well, mostly because while he didn't really put down roots and could carry all his worldly possessions in a suitcase, he traveled from university to university, rather than from hidey-hole to hidey-hole. He was also really, really fond of amphetamines. I wonder if heroic hobo picked up that habit too.
Mary is less than thrilled to discover that her witness is basically Hobo Marshall. Although you know she secretly loves it. She totally likes this guy.
Suddenly, Mary is called out by the AUSA. Marshall continues to dork out about mathematicians and set theory. He is in hog heaven. Again, I kinda wonder how Mary ended up with this guy. He's totally right up Marshall's alley. Maybe Stan was afraid that Heroic Hobo would persuade Marshall to come with him to live life on the rails and then Stan would be out the sane half of his staff.
"Hi. I'm the AUSA. I don't want to put a smelly hobo on the stand. Do something about that."
Mary and Stan aren't sure that they're up to the challenge. He probably has woodland creatures living in the beard.
Back in the conference room, Marshall and Hobo Marshall continue to completely dork out about math. Either that or they are playing a really weird game of "Hear No Evil, See No Evil."
The following morning, Brandi is frappe-ing the garbage and calling it breakfast. Seriously - that looks nasty. Supposedly, she's learning about nutrition in her quest to become a masseuse.
"Dude, did you know that booze and tobacco are NOT food groups?!"
Peter then comes in and saves them from having to drink garbage. Mary just buries her face in the donuts, not realizing that most people prefer that you pick them up with your hands, not your teeth.
"Soooo, Scott wants my $10K."
"Of course he does. He sucks. And no one cares about his storyline. Let's move on, shall we?"
We shall, Peter...
Back in the office, Marshall is cheerfully greeting Theresa. Because he wants to hit that.
But Theresa is grumpy and having none of it. She dumps the request for funds to clean up Hobo Marshall on his desk and tells him to cut it in half.
Marshall suddenly realizes now is not the time to flirt, and the smile falls from his face.
He tries to point out that Mary submitted the paperwork...
But Theresa is all, "Nuh-uh. You're her BFF. She sucks, so you suck by association. Fix it."
Marshall is dismayed that now people outside of Mary also expect him to do her work for her.
Fortunately, Daddy comes by and fixes the situation by being all, "Did you see that guy? It's gonna take a ton of money to clean that up."
Then Marshall's morning gets worse when Crazy comes knocking on the door.
Marshall uses his world-class hiding skills to dodge the crazy and leaves Stan to deal with it.
Stan is less than thrilled.
And Theresa is not amused with all the shenanigans. Man. There is no pleasing her. Marshall is going to have to work double time if he wants to get into her sensible slacks.
Suddenly Stan gets an idea, and dumps crazy witness on poor Charlie. Stan is so proud of himself for coming up with the plan. He probably went into his office and closed the door so he could chortle in delight like a little gnome.
Meanwhile, Mary takes Hobo Marshall for a shave and a haircut. Hobo Marshall isn't thrilled with the idea, but he pets the baby squirrels who live in his beard one last time and heads inside.
Meanwhile, Crazy Witness Tim is regaling Charlie with tales of spotting criminals while power-walking at the mall.
Charlie's not so sure he believes the crazy. Also, he's been taking hairstyling tips from Alfalfa from "The Little Rascals." Seriously - he looks like he belongs on a bottle of old-timey tinctures.
It doesn't help at all that the dude at the mall looks nothing like the criminal Crazy Tim thinks he is.
But Crazy Tim is insistent enough and Charlie is bored enough to spur him to look into a bit further.
Back at the barber shop, Hobo Marshall has transformed into the Poor Man's Ewan McGregor.
Mary is clearly a fan of the "Budget Ewan McGregor" look.
So they walk along to buy some clothes, and Budget Ewan McGregor totally calls Mary on being bitter and alone. Mary is shocked that she hasn't fooled the world into thinking that she's warming and caring with a husband and kids waiting for her at home. Oh, Mary.
Man, I hope that sign got cut off weird and no one in Albuquerque is trying to sell "lices."
Mary tries to defend her spinsterhood, and Budget Ewan McGregor shrugs that the perk of being alone is that you never have to explain yourself to anyone else. Uh...yep. And it rocks. I don't have to explain why I leave dishes lying around, or why I sing to my dog or my weird television viewing habits. It's kinda awesome. I'm also probably going to die alone, so there is a bit of a trade-off.
They've gone to a book store for the easiest job interview ever! Except Budget Ewan McGregor is weirded out about being part of The Establishment.
Mary's all "He knows everything about books! Why don't you hire him on the spot without even making him fill out an application!"
But Budget Ewan McGregor can't quite sell it, and he's weirding the teenage manager out.
So Mary has to pull him aside and she ends up doing a lot of this while Budget Ewan McGregor rambles on about working for The Man and not wanting his paycheck.
But after a promise that he can use his paycheck as toilet paper, he heads back. And Teen Manager decides to just let the crazy have his and her way and hires the dude. With no application or interview. His boss is gonna kill him.
Budget Ewan McGregor does fine until he hears about the uniform. Man, he's lucky that he's basically Marshall with issues. Otherwise Mary would kill him.
Back at the office, Marshall and the AUSA are astonished to see the low-rent version of a Scottish movie star sitting before them.
Marshall even goes so far as to comment that he's handsome. Eh, Marshall just has a crush on him because of all the math stuff.
Mary grumbles at Marshall to keep it in his pants, and THANK GOD that is the closest we get to a "Marshall is gay" joke for this episode.
Marshall still isn't amused.
The AUSA is so pleased with the transformation that she offers to do a favor for her heroic hobo.
"Um, yeah - can you help me find my birth mother?"
Marshall nods in understanding at this desire.
While Mary scoffs and doesn't understand why anyone would want to actually seek out a long-lost family member and actually get some answers and some closure.
"Dude, you sure you wanna open that sack of cats? Why don't you just stuff those feelings down and use them as an excuse to dump all over everyone like I do?"
But Marshall is already in love with the idea and is waxing poetic about how Budget Ewan McGregor's first relationship in his old life will also be the first in his new life.
"So, I'm the only one here projecting my personal issues onto the witness and thinks this is a bad idea?"
Marshall: That's right!
AUSA: Yep!
Oh, suck it, Mary. This is what it is like when the world refuses to revolve around you. I know this is a new experience for you.
The next morning, Budget Ewan McGregor discovers that being part of society absolutely means that you must wake up to a shrill 1972 alarm rather than classical music...
and shuffle around the kitchen like a zombie carrying a coffee pot...
And groom yourself. He's not so sure he likes working for The Man. Dude, look on the bright side - your uniform is actually kinda cute!
Back at the office, Mary is still poo-pooing the idea of Budget Ewan McGregor finding his birth parents.
They bicker and make these faces at each other:
Marshall thinks that it will help heal Budget Ewan McGregor's "primal wound."
Mary doesn't understand why anyone would want to look for someone who walked out on them and she's pretty sure that mom won't be Carol Brady-perfect. I wouldn't exactly call putting a child up for adoption "walking out on them."
Marshall agrees, and is delighted to figure out that Mary is just projecting her own daddy issues all over her witness.
But soon he remembers that the universe likes to kick him in the teeth when he's happy and he discovers that indeed mom is not Carol Brady and has been married four times.
"Carol Brady is a slut."
"Stupid universe. Why does it hate me so much? Why can't I ever win??"
So they go to the bookstore to deliver the bad news to Budget Ewan McGregor...
"Your mom is a slut."
"Also, she's dying of pancreatic cancer. So, if you wanna see the ol' slut, we gotta go now."
Budget Ewan McGregor is stunned at the double-whammy of bad news. But he agrees to go.
What will happen next?! Just how big a slut is Hobo Carol Brady?? Will Brandi stand up to Scott? Do you care??
Find out in Part Two!