i need rain to be sated, my body crawls with a pitiful craving for it which refuses to be quenched with shower after shower. too wide almond eyes deep-set in their permanent circles and glassy with tears. play the cure for me while i lay on the floor and read it all again just to get this out in a seal-able, avoidable, controllable way. it is all ( Read more... )

The tingle of happiness in my throat as I walk down the sunny streets of a town with my daughter in toe. Her brunette hair in ringlet curls bounced along her waist, her chubby fingers gripping mine. We walk past lush trees, a mist of rain falling despite the sun, and making all the plants glow. The shops are all colorful, white and purple and ( Read more... )

I ran today, despite the nausea, the ever increasing dizziness. I fear that in several days, progressing as it is, I'll be in the god damn hospital again. Running really is lovely, while you are doing it. My feet, that pain I am numb to, I continue to ignore, but I can feel them roll up onto the balls, the tippy pad of my foot as the other one ( Read more... )

The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we are still living.

Laying about in sheet after sheet of white paper, a sea that cradles and cuts beautifully. The scent of cinnamon and honey and rosewater obliterating any scent you might produce. The smothering music from the radio which rests on a table just out of your reach. A war march, ( Read more... )

these SNL clips made me nostalgic for hours and hours of nonsense on the internet and laughing and rolling on the floor with cat and sam watching these videos:

Click to view

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The amount of suffering the average human endures in a lifetime is almost beautiful ( Read more... )

What will I be now? Messalina to your Caligula? I will soon be like a Greek statue myself. I looked in the mirror, stripped now of the clumsy and rough silk dress. My skin is so sensitive, and I stare at myself, at all the small changes in my skin, in my body. Where did it resculpt itself? Am I slowly bleaching out? Is my skin lighter today than it ( Read more... )

everyone is awake at 6AM and i talked to cat and it is like, throw back to high school. it is an odd, but not altogether terrible feeling. i signed into my old screenname on AIM, BloodyRawHoney,oddtastic, but I am too sleep deprived to live.

the mist along the sides, roots in the swamps head in the sky, these evergreens that guide me to another home. a dangerous place, a place i could love too much, a place that could have me ( Read more... )

my eyes stung as i opened them, there he was on the end of my bed again in the wrong body. i hate this, i thought, rolling over, my dream had already vanished. i was in a bed with him, in the hallowed corridors that are first street. he looked down at me, fatherly, out of someone else's eyes, deep tanned skin shimmering in the light seeping in from ( Read more... )