What If ( A Comment Fic)

[marsabi]

Title: WHAT IF? (A comment fic)
Written By : Marsabi
Rating: NC-17
Summary: What if Noah had not rejected Luke that day in the bar? What if Noah “forgives” him, and they get back together ? Many argue (in douche fandoms) that Reid never would’ve been with Luke then. Of course, Noah’s stingy heart didn’t forgive Luke in that famous scene.

Comments

[rhiannonhero]

First off, second person for the win!!!! *high five*

Second, akdjfkladjfdklsjfdklasfj!!!!!

Third, OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH! Seriously, seriously, seriously good.

[marsabi]

Thanks so much!

[rhiannonhero]

I loved a ton of it, but the parts I keep thinking about are:

Noah pumps Abigail for information about LA; he almost seems to flirt with her. When you confront him, Noah calls you dramatic.

Back home, Noah approaches sex like he is doing you a favor.

Both of these because they are so true that I can absolutely see them happening, but also how we were talking about showing vs telling? And both of these show so much. They show so, so, so much.

Actually, this entire thing is such a great example of showing and not telling.

Just love it like whoa, my friend. Good damn job.

[_alicesprings]

Very well done! Luke would have been soooo miserable going back to Noah. :(

Also, I enjoyed the use of second person POV here. It worked really well!

[marsabi]

Thanks so much! It was fun to do this POV.

[marsabi]

Thanks! It was fun to play with the POV.

[bluemagicrose]

Uh,

WOW. Just...WOW.

[marsabi]

LOl! Thanks!

[rtruffles]

Great job!!

I don't usually enjoy second person but it was perfect here!

Luke would have been miserable if he had gone back to Noah---ugh!!!

[marsabi]

I can't see doing this POV in a long fic, but it was fun to play with it here. Yeah, he would have been too miserable with Noah (after you kiss Reid, there's no going back).