strange evening, but entertaining at least

went to karaoke
and sang:

the look of love - abc
mystify - inxs

and then duetted and murdered 'a total eclipse of the heart' in good style

nice evening

apart from that things are still not good

hey-ho

i think my sanity has gone awol

i have no idea how to deal with this apart from climbing into a hole and hiding and i dont have that option

10 years ago should i have met myself i would hae thought of myself as a pathetic and wretched creature and looked down upon myself.

nothings changed

something has to or else it will just end in some way

it seems my generally morose mood of late and generally hiding from the world is pissing off those who really care about me.

for that i want to apologise

i don't mean to, i just tend to disappear somewhat when i am feeling this crappy and this time its lasting a good while

lovexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

i really must remember self harm is not an option

at my age its just sad

i just did what i consider to be my last night at the eastern

it used to be that on old televisions when you switch it off the screen would diminish to just a tiny dot that would last a second or so then disappear

i feel like i am that dot
just waiting to end

right peeps

in the next month and a half i have to find a new home for kitten and i

preferably with one or two other people, no more

if someone knows of a room going in a kitty friendly house then please let me know

i am open to suggestions

keep your eyes and ears open please

lovexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sam came home early from holiday so the dogs back already

crap!

had the loveliest time this weekend i have had in many many months. Pride was grand and much flouncing was done and then general socialising carried on until 6am ( Read more... )

i am stuck ( Read more... )