LJ Idol Week 25: The Waffle House Index

[marlawentmad]

The woman tossed her black blazer over a chair and then slumped into its embrace. She eased off her black stiletto shoes. Pain bloomed across her cramped toes; it ran rampant up the arch of her foot and created a vice around her ankle. She winced and reached down to massage the muscle spasm from her calf. She went into the next room, her nails

Comments

[penpusher]

I knew something was "off" from the line "nails clicking against the hardwood floor." Rather a tepid transformation, though the biggest surprise was the roommate that treated her like the dog of the house!

[marlawentmad]

I loved these little breadcrumbs trailed throughout the narrative. They were fun to write.

[flipflop_diva]

This was cute! I thought it was odd that she was just casually taking her clothes off as she walked through the house, but when you live alone! But then she was dribbling scotch and her clothes were becoming tight.

I also love how the roommate is so nonchalant about it, like she's a dog who has been waiting for her all day.

[marlawentmad]

Thank you for reading and commenting. I love the idea that someone with such a sad history of ostracization has someone in her life now that just accepts her as she is.

[murielle]

So many things to love here...the use of the tarot, the character's sensuous wandering through the end of her work day, the sense of foreboding that draws us throughout the work, the rich and unique description, but most of all is the easy, seductive movement and pace of the writing. Wonderful!

[marlawentmad]

These are some of the most precious compliments I've received, thank you.

[messygorgeous]

Man, how do you let a roommate know you turn canine once a month? I can imagine THAT Craig's List entry, lol. The details in this were very real. I could feel my sad toes when you were talking about her removing those heels!

[marlawentmad]

One of my non-femme readers pointed at that line, too, and said, "You must have some experience with that, huh?" I didn't have to go very far to "make it up," there!