I relate so much to this feeling. There are times when I tell myself that I have it all together while I feel my world crumbling around me, and there's that missing link between this facade of self-confidence and the abyss of self-doubt. And one must wonder where it all comes from, what is that link? Only to find that there is no link, and maybe one can be all of these things at once, and maybe when one looks at other people and really sees them, they are able to see that others have that same duality inside of them, that, despite everyone's protestations, no one really "has it all together" all of the time.
Thus, it is up to us to forge our own path in life and find ourselves, away from the people and places we have known that have done this to us (while we are simultaneously doing this to ourselves). The question then becomes, do you ever return from the seas to find that what you thought was entirely desert actually holds an oasis for your spirit, or do you create a new home there, entirely separated from your past?
I see this as the story of the long journey to finding yourself, after you'd thought you were lost, because you didn't know how to recognize yourself, and you'd been working so hard for so long, trying to create or recreate yourself in your own image - sometimes according to what other people wanted, only to find that mask never fit - while harboring the notion that you had a better idea, somehow in the dark underdwelling of your the back of your subconscious mind, of what you should be... and then being surprised to find you did know how to really see yourself when you discovered the opportunity to, only to then be additionally challenged to actually live your true self as the person you finally realized you were meant to be. I don't know if that's right or not... I'm guessing the "you" here isn't actually you, as I haven't gotten the impression you're actually struggling with such a crisis of spirit, but I see this as the retelling of a relatable tale anyone who'd been through such a thing could perhaps see themselves in. Like,
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I relate so much to this feeling. There are times when I tell myself that I have it all together while I feel my world crumbling around me, and there's that missing link between this facade of self-confidence and the abyss of self-doubt. And one must wonder where it all comes from, what is that link? Only to find that there is no link, and maybe one can be all of these things at once, and maybe when one looks at other people and really sees them, they are able to see that others have that same duality inside of them, that, despite everyone's protestations, no one really "has it all together" all of the time.
Thus, it is up to us to forge our own path in life and find ourselves, away from the people and places we have known that have done this to us (while we are simultaneously doing this to ourselves). The question then becomes, do you ever return from the seas to find that what you thought was entirely desert actually holds an oasis for your spirit, or do you create a new home there, entirely separated from your past?
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