Oct 28, 2008 13:14
Title: You let me believe you were someone else
Author: Mark_angel01
Rating: PG13 for now will go higher eventually, warnings will be put before the chapter though.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Characters: Jared, Jensen, Chris Kane, Tom welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Sophia Bush, Chad Murray, Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Jeffrey Morgan, OFC, OMC.
Warning: This is male/male pairing so if you don't like then please leave, it is AU and the boys are 16, very low rating to start but will eventually get higher, so may be underage depending on where you live. There will be violence in future chapters but I will warn before a chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned them I would force them to admit their love for eachother, which is so obvious, sadly i do not even own a strand of their hair.
Summary:
"Your secrest did this .... you did this. You let me believe you were someone else ..... I feel like I don't even know you.
Jared is 16 and hiding a dark past, Jensen is drawn to him, what will happen when secrets are revealed. Read to find out.
Story notes: My wonderful Beta reader is Basez dreams, any mistakes left are my own doing.
This is going to be a long story, I have some chapters written and will post weekly so there is not a long time between updates.
I love music, it helps me to think of the emotions the chracters are feeling when I write them, so I will be attaching one or more songs to each chapter.
Chapter 2 - Drop your guard and let me in.
Song - Learn you inside out by Lifehouse
Thanks for the reviews guys
Jared had started to find the dirt under his fingernails really interesting, especially when Laurie kept asking him questions. He just couldn't understand why people wouldn't leave him alone. It’s all he wanted; well most of the time it was. Sometimes he just wanted to scream as loud as he could and never stop until someone notices him. But he can't do that; he has no right to be upset. So he pushes it down and lets it claw at his chest like some demon possessing him, trying to find a way out. He never screams and shouts like he needs to. He learned early on that the easiest way to control these violent emotions inside him was to talk as little as possible, then he didn't run the risk of letting his mask slip. He could tell Laurie was not going to let him get away with that as much as others did, and it scared him.
Since the incident, Jared had changed. He was reserved, quiet and withdrawn, and even his family didn't push him to talk, though he realised that was partly due to their disgust in him. Still, it had been easy to bury his emotions deep inside and put a protective wall around him, not let anything out or anyone in. If Laurie started to chip away at said wall, he was scared that it would crumble and he would fall apart.
So it was with some effort that he focused on the person Laurie was introducing him to.
"This is Jensen," Laurie introduced, looking expectantly.
Jared looked up and found himself looking into the greenest eyes he had ever seen, and he felt sure everyone could hear his heart beating faster. He could feel himself staring into those eyes and could see a warmth there he had never seen before. For a moment, Jared had a great desire to break down and tell this person how much it hurt to even breathe. He saw the shock and surprise fill those warm green eyes and realised he was staring openly. He tore his gaze away, getting himself under control before meeting those eyes again, this time keeping his feelings in check. He didn’t fail to notice the confusion in those green depths.
He couldn't explain what had happened. He had let his defences down so easily around this guy, and he didn’t like it. He came to the conclusion that being around him was a bad idea. And yet, he couldn't ignore the fact that Jensen was, for lack of a better word, beautiful. Still, he only noticed that now. It didn't explain his reaction or the connection he felt as their eyes met. He told himself he was just caught off guard, and wouldn't let it happen again. But he couldn't deny the pull he felt to him, so much so that he couldn't ignore the hand that was offered to him. He intended to shake his hand briefly then pull away, but their hands lingered longer than necessary causing Jared to wonder if this Jensen felt the sparks, too.
He frowned as he realised what he was thinking and pulled his hand away quickly. He had no right to feel attraction to anyone or experience tingling sparks caused by someone else. Besides, he knew someone like Jensen would never look at him that way, and that was a good thing, he told himself firmly. No one would want him as a friend if they really knew him, let alone anything else.
"Good to have you here Jared." His voice was as warm as his eyes and Jared felt his words stick in his throat, so he just nodded. He could see Jensen genuinely meant what he said and he wanted to laugh at that. If only he knew the truth. Instead, he settled for avoiding his gaze altogether and tried to reinforce the wall around him that suddenly seemed so fragile.
*****
Jensen had prepared himself for seeing some tall guy with bruises, but he wasn’t prepared for the reaction he felt when he laid eyes on Jared. He could see he was good looking, and felt his body respond to what he saw. That alone was enough to scare him, considering he had never even kissed another guy. He had never felt a big enough attraction to anyone to risk his sexual preference getting out, or to risk a punch in the face for hitting on a straight guy.
When their eyes met he felt as though he had been winded. He saw a storm of emotions in those eyes that reminded him of the sea. So much pain and desperation; it made him feel out of his depth. He didn't know how long they looked at each other, just knew when Jared was pulling away and shutting down. Jensen watched with fascination as a mask slid into place and felt the need to bring back the emotion to those eyes. He couldn't explain it, seeing those eyes so full of pain had scared him, but not as much as seeing those eyes so empty and withdrawn. He wanted to pull away, to back off and keep at a distance, but he couldn't help but be drawn to him and feel the need to get rid of that mask he wore.
He knew it was a bad idea and could feel his best friend’s eyes burning into his back, but he didn't care. He couldn't pull away. He felt relief as Jared took his offered hand and warm, pleasurable sparks ran through him where their skin touched and he was reluctant to let go.
He had completely forgotten the audience watching the exchange and felt himself blush, especially under Chris's ‘WTF’ look. He ignored this and focused on greeting Jared's mum and social worker, who seemed to not have noticed the intense exchange between the two. Either that or they just didn't care.
******
That had been two hours ago and now Jensen was watching Jared say goodbye to his mum. He felt like he was intruding, but couldn't take his eyes off the scene. He wondered how Jared's mom could seem to care so little when it was clearly breaking Jared's heart. He had been showing no signs of distress, not even shedding any tears, hell, Jensen had not seen him say anything but goodbye. But it was in the way he held himself, the dejected stance and the arms that wrapped around himself, trying to offer comfort. Jensen snorted to himself; since when did he read body language? He spent too much time around Laurie. Still, it was more than that, and he was reluctant to look too deeply into it. Yet, he just knew that under the calm surface were raging emotions. He knew it was tearing Jared apart to be left here and in that moment he hated Jared's mum for not even being able to hug him and offer some kind of comfort.
"Hey man, what ya up to?" Chris came out the garage door and peered to where Jensen had been staring. "What is it with you and that guy? You know him somehow?”
Jensen smirked and rolled his eyes, trying to throw Chris off the scent. "You know everyone I know."
Chris just glared at him. "So what’s with the long stares?, ‘cause you seem awful interested in him."
Jensen just shrugged and walked towards the car, not wanting to get into it with Chris. He loved the guy, but he couldn't explain why he had a sudden obsession with Jared Padalecki to himself, let alone help Chris understand.
Chris was as stubborn as they came, though, and managed to block his path. "Don't shrug me off, Ackles. What’s going on?"
Jensen shook his head and smirked. "What could possibly be going on? I only met him a few hours ago."
"You keep getting this look..." Chris’s eyes narrowed as he watched his friend closely.
Jensen could tell there was a lot more to those words then was being said, but decided to play dumb. He wasn't up to giving the ‘gay confession’. Not tonight. "Look man, like I said before, he’s new here and he could use a friend."
The look Chris gave told him he wasn't convincing him.
“OK, maybe I feel sorry for the guy. You know what I'm like, and he is like the poster child for a pity party." It wasn't true. Pity was the last thing he felt for Jared, and he felt a little sick as he said it, like he was betraying Jared in some way; which, by the way, was crazy. They were not even friends, not yet anyway.
However, he could tell it satisfied Chris's curiosity, especially when he spoke again. "You and your emotions, man. You can’t rescue every kicked puppy and be its best friend.” Thinking of Jared as a kicked puppy made Jensen laugh, as it was a little true. Jared had the kicked puppy look, but also looked like he may maul you if you crossed him.
"Maybe not man, but I can help the ones that find their way here." He hoped Chris wouldn't push the issue because he fully intended to become Jared's friend, no matter what
********
Jared sat stiffly on the edge of his new bed, staring out of the window, replaying the conversation he had heard. So it was pity Jensen felt, nothing more. He felt his cheeks burn as he remembered staring into Jensen’s eyes and thinking there was a connection. For him there had been, but obviously not for the other boy. He knew he had no right to feel disappointed because, really, there was no way he could even consider feeling anything for Jensen. Besides, they had only just met and he thought he was a loser. It wasn't even Jensen's fault; he was a decent enough guy. He just knew a pity party when he saw one. It at least helped him shut the door firmly on any possible feelings for him, despite what he had already felt. It was obviously one sided.
He moved around his new room slowly, trying to get himself organised by unpacking things, but there was no passion in it. He would be happy to live out of his cases whilst he was here, except he doubted that would be allowed and he didn't want anyone offering their help. Instead, he made use of the wardrobe and chest of draws provided.
********
Laurie sipped her strong coffee as she read over the file in front of her. It was Jared's transfer file and she felt herself frowning as she read the words; violent, dangerous, criminal and many others that jumped out. The moment she had been assigned the Padalecki case, she knew something just wasn't right. Nothing added up. She had almost refused the case, as she felt the authorities wanted her to simply contain Jared and make him ready for trial. That was not what Laurie did; she worked with kids to help them deal with what happened to them, even if it was their fault. She did not just criminalise them. She tried to understand what had lead to that behaviour and help them rehabilitate. Of course, some of her kids still had to serve time for their crimes which was not always a bad thing and she helped them through that, too, if they let her. Still, this case was not right and she had felt a fool for taking it. But the moment she had met Jared, she had known she couldn't walk away.
He wasn't like some of her patients, not the ones she bought home, but the ones she treated in her office in town, the violent criminals that often threatened her. She was tough because the kids she worked with made her that way; she didn't tolerate bullshit and was prepared to face a 6'4 teenager with aggressive behaviour. They had all warned her of his size, but the teenager she saw lying in that hospital bed looked more like a lost little boy. She had taken many children home over the years while treating them, although many of them had been younger kids as she never wanted older ones due to Chris and Jensen being there. They had behavioural problems, but they were mostly lost, lonely children needing to find attachment to someone or needing help in how to deal with their dark and troubled pasts.
Jared had reminded her of those children the day she met him, and though he never spoke more than two words, everything about him screamed ‘help me’. She had known then she would apply to have him in her home to treat him and make him stable for the court case. She had almost lost her case; plenty of people were against it, saying he needed to be in a secure place, but she had a good standing with the judge who had passed in her favour. She had felt happy but also wary, because deep down she felt like she had just bitten off more than she could chew.
Michael was against it; all he saw was the assessment, the words that formed a picture of someone Laurie wouldn't have in her home. It had taken many arguments and late night talks to get him to be reasonable and listen. She had tried to describe why she felt so comfortable with this boy, but it wasn't anything she could explain. Years of experience had taught her not to ever misjudge anyone, but for the most part she got people spot on or as close as possible. When she saw Jared arrive today she knew she had made the right call. He wasn't the boy portrayed in his file.
The question was why was everyone determined to pin him as the bad guy? Even Jared seemed to believe it and she knew as well as she knew Chris and Michael loved her that Jared was not completely at fault.
So it was her job to find out who was, though that would prove difficult as it seemed Jared rarely spoke.
********
Laurie found Jensen and Chris playing a racing game on their PlayStation in the lounge and smiled at the easy banter between them. She took a deep breath as she prepared to do battle. She knew how Chris had sided with Michael over Jared, but she needed them to try and help her settle him in. She was good at her job, so she didn't miss the silent exchange between Jared and Jensen earlier in the day. It was the first time she had seen him look at anyone for longer than a few seconds, which is why she directed her question more to Jensen.
"So, do you know if Jared is all settled in his room yet?"
Jensen paused the game, forcing Chris to look up. "No, we haven't seen him yet. Do you want us to check on him?" Jensen tried to not sound too keen, but Laurie may have just given him the perfect excuse to hang out with Jared without getting Chris all pissed.
"Fuck that." So much for that theory. Chris looked adamant that he was not going to get involved with Jared.
Laurie hit him over the head with a rolled up magazine. "I hear you curse anymore today and you will be unclogging drains and scrubbing the bathroom with your toothbrush...and you won’t get a new one."
Jensen laughed at the mock-arguing between the two; he loved them like his own family, maybe even more so and he would do anything for Laurie. She had helped him through a rough patch before and he owed her everything.
Laurie hit Chris again, smiling at Jensen. "I just think he needs to keep his mind busy and he had lots to unpack. Must be difficult doing all that with his hand and leg out of action."
"We'll help him out.” Jensen was up and headed towards Jared's room before Chris could bitch and moan. Laurie was right; it was unfair to make him do it all himself when he was at a disadvantage. Besides, the guy couldn't hide out in his room all day. He told himself it had nothing to do with what he had felt earlier today, nothing at all.
In his hurry to see Jared, he didn't notice his best friend not following or the scowl on his face as he watched him go. A twinge of hurt lingered in his eyes, before he turned back to his game, ignoring his sister as she tried to talk to him.
padackles. murray,
sandy,
jensen ackles,
jared padalecki,
christian kane,
j2