(no subject)
Title: You let me believe you were someone else
Author: Mark_angel01
Rating: PG13 for now will go higher eventually, warnings will be put before the chapter though.
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Chracters: Jared, Jensen, Chris Kane, Tom welling, Mike Rosenbaum, Sophia Bush, Chad Murray, Sandy McCoy, Steve Carlson, Jeffrey Morgan, OFC, OMC.
Warning: This is male/male pairing so if you don't like then please leave, it is AU and the boys are 16, very low rating to start but will eventually get higher, so may be underage depending on where you live. There will be violence in future chapters but I will warn before a chapter.
Disclaimer: If I owned them I would force them to admit their love for eachother, which is so obvious, sadly i do not even own a strand of their hair.
Summary:
"Your secrest did this .... you did this. You let me believe you were someone else ..... I feel like I don't even know you.
Jared is 16 and hiding a dark past, Jensen is drawn to him, what will happen when secrets are revealed. Read to find out.
Story notes: My wonderful Beta reader is Basez dreams, andy mistakes left are my own doing.
This is going to be a long story, I have soem chapters written and will post weekly so there is not a long time between updates.
I love music, it helps me to think of the emotions the chracters are feeling when I write them, so I will be attaching one or more songs to each chapter.
Chapter 1 - No one can hear the silent screams.
Songs for this chapter : Bother by Stone Sour and Boulevard of broken dreams by Green Day.
The car slowing down was the first sign that they were almost at their destination. Jared had kept his eyes focused on the window for the entire journey, effectively ignoring everyone else in the car. Not that they wanted to talk to him; Jared couldn't remember the last time he had spoken to anyone other than to give the required responses. Even his own mother had given up trying to talk to him and had spent the journey making small talk with his social worker in a way that was supposed to include him, without actually talking to him. He had tuned it all out; he didn't want to know how nice the Kane family were or what a good therapist Laurie Kane was. He wanted to be home with his family, or at least that is what he used to want. Since that night his loving family had all but disowned him, only his mum tried to maintain their strained relationship. Jared didn’t blame his family as he knew he no longer deserved them. He had accepted that he deserved to be disowned, shipped miles away to live with a family he didn't know. Hell, he deserved much worse and would probably get it. Still, he couldn't ignore the feeling of being abandoned and unwanted and so damn scared every minute of every day. Not that he could talk about that; he was the one in the wrong. He deserved to feel that way, and no one cared what Jared Padelecki was worried about. He lost that right when he...He had figured that out early on after what happened, so he had stopped talking, stopped trying to defend himself and only responded when spoken too. What was the use in talking when no one wanted to listen? He felt guilty as he realised he was feeling sorry for himself. He had no right to feel that way. He deserved whatever he got.
It took him a long moment to actually see what was outside the car window instead of staring off into space, lost in his thoughts. When he did focus, he saw Laurie Kane, a pretty blonde woman with a friendly face. He had met her once; she was to be his therapist and guardian. He thought she looked too young to be a therapist and certainly not old enough to have a son his own age of 16. He noticed the two guys standing either side of her like body guards and felt himself tense, noticing they looked less than friendly. The older guy must be Michael, Laurie’s husband but he had no clue who the boy was, although it was clear the guy already hated him. He wondered why that was, as his social worker had assured him that only Laurie and Michael knew intimate details from his past. It was on a need to know bases and as far as he was concerned, this kid didn’t need to know.
He heard his social worker talking a mile a minute, introducing his mum to the Kane family, allowing Jared time to take in the house. It looked big and welcoming, complete with the white picket fence. Just by looking at it, he knew he didn't belong there. It looked too warm and bright, something he wasn't, not anymore.
He sighed and struggled to get himself out of the car. He had never been particularly graceful and put that fact down to his extreme height. Being 6'4 just made him a clumsy guy. So trying to move around when his left arm was in a cast and his right leg was still damaged enough that he still needed the crutch from the hospital, made him a walking disaster.
As he stumbled out of the car, he felt rather than saw all eyes on him. He had taken to avoiding looking at people directly, not wanting to see what they really felt about him. So he wasn't prepared to have Laurie's smiling face suddenly in front of him, catching his distant gaze.
"Hi Jared, I'm happy to see you again. You’re looking better than last time we met, though still unsteady on those feet I see." Her voice was warm and friendly, but he felt his heart rate increase and his palms grown sweaty as he panicked, not knowing how to take her friendliness. So he scowled and looked away, trying to make her just back the Hell off with a look. It didn't have the desired effect and she just smiled as though she understood. He felt angry at that; what the hell did she know about how he felt?
That must have shown on his face because another voice caught his attention. "You want to watch who you look at like that, unless you want another black eye." Jared looked up and saw it was the younger guy talking to him. He noticed Michael scowling, but it was aimed at him, not the guy making the threats, so Jared tried to avoid his gaze, instead trying to ignore everyone around him.
Laurie suddenly cut in, her voice hard, all traces of warmth gone. "Christopher Kane, you will not threaten anybody as long as I live and breathe, is that understood? Especially when Jared is going to be staying with us for some time." The moody looking boy, who Jared could now identify as Christopher, seemed unfazed by Laurie's harsh tone. "Whatever. You know how I feel, and it's Chris," he muttered, before storming back into the house.
Jared noticed a look pass between Laurie and Michael but couldn't identify it. They were clearly good at conversations without words. He quickly averted his gaze as Michael’s eyes found his and then he was being lead into the house by Laurie.
"Come on Jared, let’s give you a tour and introduce you to everyone.”
Jared followed with some difficulty, trying to co ordinate his useless leg with the walking aide. He didn't miss the way he was watched, like a dog that had bitten once and could do it again, and he tried to ignore the pain he felt as he noticed his own mum looked the most wary of them all.
The Kane house was big and spacious inside, as well as clean, but still felt lived in. He was shown the large, comfy lounge area which had big sofas and a TV, a bookcase that was to the point of overflowing and pictures that were hung or standing on every flat surface. He was then shown to his bedroom on the ground floor with its own bathroom. They had converted the therapy room into a bedroom so he didn't have to manage stairs. He felt grateful as stairs were a big problem with his leg, but he also felt guilty for making them change their family home. He was told that upstairs there were three bedrooms, one bathroom and a therapy room, and the third floor is where their own bedroom was. Laurie apologised that he would need to manage the stairs for therapy sessions, but Jared figured that was a good compromise for not having to go up and down every day and night.
They then took him through the kitchen. It was huge, with freshly baked cookies sitting on the counter. Laurie asked them all to take a seat at the large dining table and whilst she made the drinks she told Jared that Chris was her brother and she was his full time guardian. "Don't take much notice of Chris; his bark is worse than his bite."
She placed the drinks on the table and looked around. "Speaking of which, where are those boys?"
Michael smirked. "Where else? They never leave that garage."
Jared decided Michael looked less scary when he smirked.
Laurie rolled her eyes at her husband. "Well go get them." She turned to Jared and smiled but he still had trouble meeting her gaze, so focused on his drink. "Jensen is also staying with us. He’s a family friend and comes to stay when his dad is out of town. I'm sure you will like him; he’s a sweet boy."
Jared just nodded sinking deeper into his misery. Great, this Jensen was a friend to Chris which did not bode well for them getting on. Not that Jared cared much; he wasn't looking for friends here. He just wanted to come here and get through his next school year without being hassled by people. Still, part of him missed the social interaction. He had always been popular enough before, well just before it all went to hell, and he was often accused of being too hyper and friendly. No one could associate him with that Jared now; he hardly spoke and he was pulling into himself more and more. So some small part of him hated the thought that he would have to see the two friends having fun and shutting him out. Still, he deserved it. He pushed that hurtful thought down deep and told himself he didn't care if Chris and Jensen hated him; he didn't deserve friends anyway. He tried to shut out the image of him, Chad and Sandy, all hanging out together. It was too soon to think of them; he just couldn't think of what he had lost.
*********
Jensen rolled his eyes at his best friend’s dramatics. Chris really was against this new kid coming here and had been acting like a five year old brat about the whole thing since Laurie and Michael had told him.
"Seriously Jensen, the guy is a freak of nature. No one should be that tall and he’s all banged up! How did that happen, huh? Bet he’s violent. And, you should have seen how he looked at Laurie! I swear, he touches my sister, I will kick his ass."
Jensen continued working on the car letting Chris run out of steam before responding. "You know, being tall is not a crime and you know the kind of kids that come here. The bruises could be from anything, something that isn't his fault." Chris huffed at that and Jensen smirked. "Besides, I doubt Laurie needs your short ass protecting her. She is one scary woman when she gets going.”
Chris handed him the wrench and sighed. "Yeah I know, but that kid is no victim of abuse, man, or we would know a little about him. Why the hell is everything so secretive and why is he so special?"
Jensen understood his friend’s frustration. Laurie and Michael had been fostering for years, providing short term accommodation for a variety of kids. Jensen had taken to living here more and more as he hit his teenage years, excluding when his dad was away on business, and he loved it here. Laurie and Michael were like family and he never minded the kids that came to stay before. Then again, they had never had someone their own age come here before; they were always younger. Laurie was a great therapist and a great parent with a lot of compassion for people. Michael was quite opposite to her, but he cared about kids. He was just more tough than touchy feely like he called Laurie. Still, they worked well together and Jensen and most of the kids that stayed here loved it, despite missing home.
Jensen sometimes missed the idea of home. He still saw his mum regularly, except now she just lived further away, and his dad often contacted him, as well as his big brother who was always on the phone from college. Even his baby sister sent him letters. But it just wasn't the same and he missed what they used to be. Still, he was looking forward to the trip that all of them were planning to take up there in 6 weeks.
"Hey man, are you even listening to me?" Chris looked pissed and Jensen managed a sheepish grin.
"Sorry man, I was somewhere else."
Chris scowled and threw a greasy cloth at him. "Fucking useless."
Jensen knew the real reason this new kid had got Chris worked up. It wasn't because they knew nothing about him, because most of the kids that came here had confidential histories and Jensen never minded as it wasn't his business. But, even so, they were always given a rough outline. All they had heard about this Jared was that he was their age and would be going to their school. It was puzzling, but he knew it wasn't this that had Chris so wound up. It was that Michael was not happy that Jared was coming. In all the years he had been here, he never saw Michael so against something. He had fought with Laurie constantly about it for weeks. Of course Laurie had won out, as she always did but, Michael was not happy and even Jensen thought that raised some concerns; maybe the guy was dangerous. Michael was a decent guy, he didn't judge people and he was able to have fun, but he was protective of his family and he knew something about this Jared that had him worried. Still, he needed to get Chris to calm down. "Look man even, Laurie wouldn't put her family in danger in order to help someone. Just have faith in her."
Chris seemed to deflate and nodded. "You’re right man, I'm over reacting. That doesn't mean I have to like him, though."
Jensen shook his head, closing the bonnet to his baby. "That's your choice, but I think it has to be pretty difficult to come somewhere new and not know anyone. Maybe he could use a friend."
Chris scowled at him. "I hate you Ackles, you and your girly emotions. I swear you should just go ahead and call yourself Jenny and get a boyfriend."
Jensen laughed and flipped his friend off. It was friendly banter, but he sometimes thought Chris was trying to ask him if he was gay without having to have that awkward conversation. He had wanted to tell Chris so many times but it was difficult to say. Lately he had been certain his friend had realised it and just doesn't know how to confirm it. It wouldn't be an issue; Jensen knew Chris was straight and had never so much as looked at him that way. And Chris must know that to be comfortable with it. Still, they were both 16 and having a conversation like that was too much for them.
Michael entered the garage and looked amused. "Thought I'd find you two trouble makers in here. How’s she coming?" Michael was a mechanic and had a love for cars, so when Jensen had bought an old 1967 Chevy Impala to restore her to her former glory, Michael was all for helping him get it done.
"She’s still leaking from somewhere. I really didn't want to have to strip her back, but I may have to."
Michael was nodding looking thoughtful and then looked at Chris. "You need to watch your mouth more. Laurie is gonna have your balls when the social worker leaves."
Chris snorted and shrugged. "She don't scare me."
Jensen just raised his eyebrow and Chris chuckled. "You’re a braver man than most then."
Michael turned back to the door. "Come on guys, you need to come and meet Jared. And Chris, don't start. He is here and he is staying. Let’s make it more bearable all round ok?"
Chris let his words die on his tongue and heaved a deep sigh. Jensen just smiled and followed them out of the garage. He was kinda intrigued by the supposed giant freak of nature and just hoped he didn't stare too badly.