The taint in the blood, continued: a response to a response about an OkCupid conversation

[mariness]

Originally, despite the urgings of a fellow wheelchair user, I wasn't going to say anything public about this at all. It's a pretty painful subject, and I'm not really fond of talking about this stuff in public. (It's the same reason I don't post rejection stats - I never got the point of saying, "Look how many editors turned me down this month!"

Comments

[theferrett]

"Sometimes, he can get - he might disagree with this description - a little arrogant, a little cocky. "

Why in God's name would I disagree with that? I'm a rampant collection of arrogance and neurosis. My only saving grace is that ometimes I DO write the "this" entries.

But glad it helped. Hope your gaming expands.

[mariness]

Well, I said *might* (grins).

I expect the gaming will expand once we're down at the ground floor (which hopefully will be before the end of the year) which will take care of many of the logistical issues. And, well, online gaming!

[tryss]

I never avoided you, you moved away. ;) {hugs} I don't really have more to say beyond that it's their loss. You're brilliant.

[mariness]

:: grins :: Actually seeing you however briefly last year was awesome. And yeah, this isn't aimed at Boca Raton people :)

And yeah, their loss :)

Thanks :)

[jfargo]

Wish I could help. *hugs*

[mariness]

Just commenting, so I know this is read, is a big help.

[d_aulnoy]

I'm glad you're writing about this. Hell, you may be inspiring me to write about my unrelated sorta-mirror experience. So why is that a good thing?

I think people genuinely don't understand that this sort of thing is wrong, or cumulative, or that their tiny bit'o'wrong breeds and has the potential to make people's lives significantly dimmer. So, maybe the PSA's of "don't be a dick to people with conditions A,B, and C," OR "people suffering tragedies X, Y, and Z" OR, for that matter *in general* might eventually penetrate. Maybe not, and we'll just get to vent a little, which isn't the worst thing in the world, either ... but, maybe.*

*This is one of my rare moments of optimism. It may, or may not, last.

[mariness]

I think, thinking over their responses, that you're right - a couple of the players knew I'd be upset, but didn't get why I'd be upset - they thought it was just one of those unfair things, it's life, and so on. And yes, in the great scheme of life, this is a minor detail. Even in my own life, while this loomed pretty large last week, it was only one of many, far greater frustrations, some of which (that bus!) are impacting more people than just me.

So yeah.

How much good this post will do I don't know, but I will say that talking to the players made an impact on at least one of them (and possibly others; I've only heard from three of them.) So, you know, bit by bit.

[hawkward]

d_aulnoy said it best. Human nature is the easy route. Rising above the automatic responses is tough and takes effort and time, which a lot of people assume they don't have (me included). But it makes such a huge difference.

Thank you for posting this.

[mariness]

Yep, and habits are hard to break.