Doubts
By Marea67
About: Chad Berry
Rate: PG-13?
Disclaimer: Not mine, I know, stop rubbing it in. Done with love, not for money
Summary: Chad becomes insecure.. after Kevin takes Scotty home on Valentine’s day in 1.14
*****
While he is dancing with Michelle, Chad keeps an eye on Kevin. He hates to say it, but Michelle was right. This Scotty is cute and though they had first seemed a bit tense, he can now see Kevin smile at Scotty as he relaxes a bit more. And Chad keeps watching as the music gets louder and Kevin and Scotty move closer to each other.
Kevin takes one drink after another, too much, too fast… And Chad knows it’s his fault. He got Kevin into this. Then Chad gets called over to some other guests and from those guests to others and he loses sight of Kevin. It’s almost an hour later and Chad can’t find Kevin anywhere and oddly enough it bothers Chad to no end.
“Where’s Kevin?” Chad asks and Michelle shakes her head. She has no idea at first, the cocktails are a little too effective…. Oh, wait, now she remembers…
“He left.” She says.
“Left?... Left where?”
“Home.”
“He didn’t say goodbye?”
“We couldn’t find you.”
“Did… Did he leave alone?” Chad really doesn’t have to hear the answer. Of course, Kevin left alone, he’s in love with Chad.
“Nnnno. He left with Scotty. … Didn’t I say they were perfect for each other?”
“What?! …..” Chad needs to a few seconds to process this information, but then he gets it. “He probably just wanted to make sure that Scotty got home safely.” But Michelle giggles.
“No. I think they definitely went to Kevin’s place…. I think they get along just fine. I saw them smiling at each other at the bar. They are such a cute couple, don’tcha think?” Michelle raves on.
“No, I don’t.” Chad says disturbed. Then, when he notices the intense look Michelle gives him, he smiles. “They are not as cute as we are... natch.” And he kisses her and she relaxes against him.
“You’re right.” She kisses him back and smiles, slightly insecure, but Chad doesn’t notice. There’s something about the fact that Kevin just left, that irks him.
People don’t walk out on him. They tend to hang to him. They love and idolize him, want to be with him, so what’s the deal with Kevin’s leaving…? How could Kevin do this? Kevin should be here, feeling as bad about being separated as Chad does… Is he just doing this to make him jealous? Of course, that’s it! He told Michelle he’d take Scotty home and Michelle misunderstood… Right?
*****
They make love as usual. Fast, furiously, hot and exhausting. Though Michelle falls asleep straight away, Chad cannot sleep. He keeps thinking about Kevin. … Where is he? At home? Alone? Of course, he has to be alone. He is in love with Chad…. No? See, that is where Chad isn’t sure. He has no idea what Kevin really thinks.
He knows he likes to be with Kevin. It’s complicated to be together with Kevin, without anyone noticing. He knows Michelle is getting suspicious, his agent has warned him to be careful with boyfriends. His advice: one night stands, hookers, people who’s credibility are easy to take down.
And that’s what he did for so long, but now there’s Kevin…. And he likes Kevin and loves to be with him. Complicated as it is to get to him, the moment he’s in Kevin’s arms everything is so simple. But he doesn’t know what Kevin thinks of Chad Berry. Does he see the actor? Or does he see a man?
Kevin never told he loved him, or that he was in love with him. He mocks Chad’s career and his looks and he doesn’t seem to be impressed with the whole Hollywood aspect. And of course, Kevin is free to do as he pleases, it’s not like he’s wearing Chad’s ring, and Chad can’t promise him everlasting love, nor does Kevin ask for it. And somehow Chad wants him to. He wants Kevin to want him….
And now Kevin left the party, with another man, that he may or may not have taken home. If he slept with Scotty, Chad will no longer want anything to do Kevin, he knows that. He can’t stand the idea of sharing Kevin with someone else. Michelle stirs in her sleep and moves closer to him. For a moment he feels like a cheat. He’s sleeping here with Michelle and raises a fuss over whether or not Kevin is sleeping alone…?
It’s unfair, he knows, but it’s different. He has to have a Michelle in his life to protect his career, and Kevin knows that, he never lied about it. But Kevin doesn’t need Scotty for anything. Chad stares into the black night. Kevin doesn’t need Scotty, like he needs Michelle, he repeats stubbornly to himself, it’s not the same thing….
He looks at his alarm. 3.46 at night. He will call Kevin in the morning and hear what happened, then he will decide. Maybe he’s worried about nothing at all. And that, in his mind, is the most normal scenario. Chad falls asleep with the idea on his mind, that Kevin just wants to make him jealous. What other reasonable explanation could there be? Kevin HAS to be in love with Chad, right?
The End.