Title: In Orbit
Author:
so_jaydedRating: PG
Warnings: none
Word Count: 1300
Summary: There was something magnetic about Sirius Black.
Author's Notes: Thanks Mods for running the fest! Thanks to Bee for taking a break from editing The Novel to give it a glance and thanks to Dani for fixing my errors. Any mistakes remaining are my own ignorance.
one
There was something magnetic about Sirius Black. Remus suspected it as soon as he sat down and was drawn into a one-armed hug by the boy next to him. He never would've pushed him away (that was entirely not polite), but he didn't shrug him off, not even after a full minute.
"Roommates!" Sirius crooned, entirely off-key and without any sense of melody. Two parts howl, one part song.
He found himself agreeing before he could stop himself. Roommates, probably friends - maybe the first friend that Remus would ever have. He hadn't wanted to be noticed, but he didn't mind that Sirius had gone and done it anyway.
By the middle of the second week, he had a best friend.
two
Second year came with rain, an eternal deluge that gave way to snow in November. By the time December dawned cold and frozen, every inch of Sirius was vibrating with pent-up energy. James didn't help; they circled each other, two poles on an axis of crazy. Sometimes Remus wondered where he fit, with his jumpers and books and disinclination to making a mess. Then Sirius would smile at him: that was all it took. He'd toss his books to the side and laugh helplessly as mischief rained down in the Great Hall.
three
He knew his excuses were wearing thin. Every month he stumbled through another line, practised over and over in the shower, lying about his Mum. He hoped that karma wouldn't come around and bite him over it. The last thing Remus wanted was for her to get sick for real.
It wasn't until the end of fall term, three weeks before Christmas break and two days after a hard Change, that he ran out. His excuses fell flat. Sirius squared his shoulders. James glanced awkwardly between them. Peter crossed his arms.
"Is your Dad hitting you?" James asked.
Remus flinched like he'd been hit. "No!" he shouted. He wanted to thump James soundly around the head. Remus all but worshipped his father - ex-Auror, loving husband, maker of excellent meat pies - and them thinking he was being hurt by his Da was worse than them knowing the truth.
"Course not," Sirius said with all the gravity of someone chatting about the weather. "He's a werewolf."
Remus nearly fell over but he caught himself on the bedpost. "W-what?"
"Oh, don't treat us like we're stupid," Sirius muttered. He stepped forward. "Your Mum always gets sick on the day of the full moon? And you always come back looking like some dog used you like a chew-toy. It makes sense."
Remus wanted to throw up. He was going to throw up, definitely, and then he was going to run to Dumbledore and go home. He couldn't be let to stay, not with people knowing. It would break his Mum's heart-
"Remus." It was Peter this time. Remus turned and looked at him, wide-eyed and probably white as a sheet. "It's okay, we don't care."
"It's brilliant," Sirius declared.
For a moment, Remus was caught up in the sensation of realising that he was older than his body. Sirius couldn't comprehend how much it wasn't brilliant. There wasn't any way for him to understand what it had done to his family, how it felt to be totally helpless.
"Remus." Sirius slid down on his knees and slid his hand across Remus' back. "I'm-"
Remus cut him off by hiding his face in the crook of Sirius' neck and starting to cry. Sirius didn't pull away.
four
Remus wondered when looking at Sirius started feeling as if he were looking into the sun. Something changed over the summer, he decided. Sirius came back to Hogwarts with a pierced ear and pilfered eyeliner that he won't put down. Sirius had always been stunning before. The girls had always fawned over him. He'd been like a nebula, maybe - forming in a cloud of stardust. He still wasn't done growing, Remus reckoned, since he was still short and had a bit of a baby face. It made him look innocent, which he wasn't. Sirius was mischief wrapped up in skin, camouflaged by a pretty face. Remus knew that but somehow he still managed to fall for it on odd weekends when Sirius told him he 'had a brilliant idea, Moony'.
Sometimes he dreamt about Sirius. He dreamed about all of his friends, but not like that, and it scared him. He didn't remember the dreams much in the morning. Pieces came back to him sometimes, swirling up out of a foggy memory. He remembered feelings - safe, home, loved - and he worried that he was strange. Stranger than normal, at least.
One morning James declared that he was in love with Lily Evans. Sirius went into a strop that started with sulking and ended with an explosion in the hallway outside of Charms that got him three weeks of detention, a broken nose, and the silent treatment from James for days on end.
They'd always been good friends, Sirius and Remus, but it was different than it was between James and Sirius. They were the same person sometimes. They finished each others' sentences. It wasn't hard for Remus to feel left out even if he knew secrets he knew James didn't.
Without James, Sirius was different. He read books with Remus in front of the fireplace and acted out the parts he liked best. They did the Daily Prophet crossword together every morning at breakfast. Sirius still made a mess and still fought with Slytherins, but his wand stayed tucked in his sleeve. The change made Remus uncomfortable. He wasn't sure if he liked it better or not.
James and Sirius made up in October. Remus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. By Halloween, they've exploded a toilet, charmed the dungeon steps invisible, and convinced Peeves to recite sonnets to Snape.
Sirius still found time in the morning for the crossword.
five
When Sirius turned into a dog and licked Remus on the cheek in January, Remus didn't know what to do other than bury his face in Sirius' fur and cry. He smelled like dog - grass and dirt and wind - and he felt like a furnace. Remus twisted his fingers in coarse fur and whispered 'thank you'.
six
It was a spring morning sixth year when they fell together laughing, equal parts slow burn and supernova, timed just right so as to make the perfect explosion. It was neither a firework nor a show, this kiss, and but every part of Remus knew it was perfect. He'd been waiting for it for six years or six days or his whole life.
That was how it began - how one chapter ended, or how his life started, or some rotten poetry that didn't matter because Sirius' lips were every metaphor his brain could think of. His hands were music across skin, plucking desperate notes out of Remus' throat that he didn't know were there. Sirius was a star, the centre of a universe burning bright with everything revolving around him, everything falling toward him. Gravity was at fault, he thought deliriously. It had made this inevitable.
He felt like he was drowning when Sirius pulled away. They stared at each other for a moment, both of them searching for an answer to a question neither of them had vocalized. Sirius' eyes were pretty, lined in Kohl and almost too big for his face. His fingers lingered, trembling, on Remus' elbow.
Remus pressed his hand against his lips. They were damp; odd, since Sirius felt scorched onto them. He wondered if the sensation would fade. He hoped it wouldn't.
He muttered something entirely inarticulate. Sirius laughed. Even that was different: a soft chuckle instead of a sharp bark.
"All right, Moony?" Sirius asked.
Remus pressed his fingers back against his lips. How could he answer that question when his world had just been flipped on end? "Uhm," he answered.
Sirius wilted. "Oh." He shuffled backward on the grass, slip-sliding back.
The space was unbearable. Remus leaned forward. "Don't do that," he said. His hand scrambled against Sirius' shirt until he found purchase and fell forward against him, into another kiss.