Fic: Five Times Sirius Tried to Tell Remus and the One Time He Definitely Does
Title: Five times Sirius tries to tell Remus and one time he definitely does.
Author: livinglibraries
Rating: PG
Warnings: Awkward boys.
Word Count: ~3,100
Summary: Sirius finds it difficult to tell Remus how he feels until it is taken out of his hands by a prank.
Author's Notes: Thank you to my beta bluebellmeadows any remaining mistakes/dodgy stylistic choices remain my own.
"I'm going to do it."
"Do what?"
“Talk to Moony.”
“How shocking, what will you be doing next? Getting out of bed and going to lessons perhaps?”
The pillow flew across the room and slapped into James’ face making Sirius smirk.
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t get why you have to tell him anyway.”
“You tell Lily.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“I dunno, just is. Isn’t it? Anyways bet you’re not even his type, Remus is far too sensible to like you back.”
It was a thought that had run through Sirius’ mind more than once. They were friends but it didn’t naturally follow that Remus would be overjoyed to find out that Sirius would quite like to snog him rotten and although Sirius sometimes made light of being an outcast and unwanted he couldn’t imagine losing the friendship with any of the Marauders. So telling Remus had to be done at exactly the right time, if he could only just figure out exactly when that was.
1
He thought maybe he’d try in the morning, tell Moony before he’d properly woken up. The opportunity came a few days later, Peter had gone down early for breakfast to get some kippers before they were all gone and James had early morning detention with Hagrid after their last prank had gone slightly awry.
“Moony?”
“Umm?”
Sirius pulled the drapes around Remus’ bed apart just enough to crawl onto the bedspread.
“Is it morning already?”
Sirius grinned, Remus had never really been a morning person and he felt an unexpected rush of warmth as he watched Remus yawn and rub his eyes before flopping back onto his pillows.
“Here.”
Sirius handed over the slices of toast he’d gone down to the Great Hall to get earlier, still wrapped in a charmed handkerchief to stay warm.
“You’re the best Sirius, never believe me when I say otherwise.”
“Do I need to take your temperature? You sound fevered.”
Remus batted the hand away but Sirius launched himself using his body weight to an advantage against the prone figure of Remus. Laughing and breathless a few minutes later, the slices of toast long since disappeared into crumbs under the bedcovers. Sirius led back, his stomach aching as the echoes of the laughter faded, the warm cocoon of the bed lulling him slightly.
“I wish we didn’t have to get up, maybe we should just spend the day here.”
“Mmm, I think Professor Knightley might be pissed but hell who needs Arithmancy anyway?”
“Doth mine ears deceive me, ol’ Moony, school swot bunking off. Everyone would be scandalised.”
The mattress dipped as Remus shifted to his side. Their hands brushed as Remus moved making Sirius jump and pull his hand away automatically. Sirius felt his stomach lurch in anticipation of something he still didn’t fully understand.
“I need to shower, I’ll see you in class Sirius.”
Remus pulled on his robe as he headed for the bathroom leaving Sirius sprawled on his bed, disappointment and confusion crashing together loudly in his head as he realised that now probably wasn’t going to be his moment.
2
“Moony can I talk to you?”
“What is it Padfoot? I’m tired and I need to get another foot of essay written on a comparison of various cures for Mumplewrot.”
Remus did look tired, the pronounced shadow beneath his sunken eyes and the shade of skin slightly too pale to be healthy spoke volumes, especially if one considered the closeness of the full moon.
“Just an idea for a prank Moony, I’ll catch you later a’right?”
“No wait it’s fine Sirius, sorry.”
Remus waved his hand dismissing his appearance and the upcoming moon. Always trying to ignore the effect it had on his life.
“Don’t worry it’s nothing Moony, I shouldn’t bug you with this sort of rubbish just before, well you know.”
A flash of annoyance was all the emotion Remus would allow himself at the mention of his furry little problem. The library hadn’t exactly been the setting Sirius had expected or wanted to say something to Remus but the boy was very rarely anywhere else on his own. Sirius really needed to work on his timing but he didn’t know how long he could go on like this.
“Fine. Go and talk to James then. I really do need to get this essay done.”
Sirius wished he could press a finger to the line deeply etched between Remus’ eyes and smooth it away. The thought manifested itself in his mouth before his mind could censor it.
“I wish you didn’t have to go through this alone.”
Remus looked startled for a moment, his eyes darting to Sirius’ face and then around the nearby tables of the library, mostly empty apart from a group of Ravenclaws a few bookcases away.
“I don’t though Padfoot, not really. Not since, well even before you all got your own furry little problems.”
“Still.”
Remus watched him carefully for a moment.
“Was there, I mean did you really have to tell me about a prank Padfoot or was it something else?”
Sirius took a deep breath and lied through his teeth.
“Of course, what else would it be? I’ll fill you in later after I’ve talked to Prongs about it. See you later Moony.”
In his haste to leave the library Sirius managed to knock over a pile of books earning a severe look from both Madam Pince and Remus.
3
The third time Sirius had been sure it was about to happen. He was sat on his bed pretending to read his Magical Theory textbook whilst Remus read one of his Muggle books, something about a detective. Sirius was watching Remus’ hands holding the book open, periodically one would disappear to turn a page. Sirius watched as his fingers came back to settle once again on the cover.
“Something up Padfoot?”
Sirius realised that Remus’ eyes were watching him over the top of the book’s pages. Sirius tried to refocus on the pages in front of him, guilt at being caught prickling up his neck. Suddenly a dizzying recklessness came over him, he’d tell him right now, tell Remus.
“Can I ask you something?”
The book lowered slightly and Sirius chanced a glance up at Remus’ face. Open and accepting of the world around him, something Sirius marveled at when life had never exactly done Remus the same courtesy. The silence stretched as Remus waited, Sirius’ pulse pounded in his temple and his throat constricted around the words.
CRASH
James appeared in the dorm door, eyes searching wildly before lighting up as he spied Remus on his bed. He stalked over, grabbed Remus’ arm and tugged him out of the room. James’ voice echoed back from the corridor.
“Sorry Padfoot need to borrow Moony. Very important.”
Sirius flopped back onto the bed, the rush from being so close to telling Moony making his head pound and fingers tingle. So very close.
4
“That’s amazing, you’re amazing. Brilliant!”
Sirius grabbed Remus’ shoulders and pulled him closer intending on hugging him, something went slightly wrong as Remus ended up with his arms pressed in between them on Sirius’ chest. If that wasn’t awkward enough Sirius looked down as Remus looked up, their lips now so close together all it would take was a tiny movement for them to touch. They froze until a noise, maybe floorboards settling or an ancient pipe groaning, made them jump apart. They laughed and joked about how they should be used to strange noises when they lived in a Castle with Peeves the Poltergeist but the laughter sounded strange and distant, their eyes not quite meeting until Remus made an excuse about needing to go to the library.
5
The room was too hot, Sirius could feel the heat building up under his skin as he watched the Hufflepuff girl cock her head and laugh at something Remus had said. Couldn’t she see Remus wasn’t interested, in fact he looked fairly mortified to have her hanging off his every word. Well maybe mortified was too harsh but he did look uncomfortable. James was buzzing about the Quidditch match they were celebrating over into his ear which Sirius was ignoring, his attention too fully on Remus and his stalker. When the girl reached out and placed a possessive hand on Remus’ forearm that wasn’t immediately shrugged off Sirius couldn’t contain it any longer. He vaguely felt the tug on his robes that told him James had tried to hold him back and in a few swift steps, not enough time to let his blood cool he was too close far too quickly.
“Get your hands off him.”
“Ex..excuse me?”
The girl’s eyes had widened, her smile gone and replaced by a confused twist of her features. Remus’ face was more controlled, a slight tug lifting his eyebrow questioning rather than confused.
“He’s mi...my friend and you’re just embarrassing him and yourself.”
The girl, Sirius would remember her name was Rosie later, dropped her hand mortified and mumbled something incoherent before wandering off.
“That wasn’t very nice Sirius. Everything ok?
“She shouldn’t be hanging on you like that.”
“She wasn’t doing any harm. What’s up with you Sirius?”
Sirius almost did it then, almost leaned over and claimed Remus as his own before someone jostled them and thrust a butterbeer into Remus’ hand.
“You’re right, I’ll leave you to your adoring fans then.”
The words were far more venomous and less confused than what Sirius was actually feeling. He could feel Remus’ gaze burn into the back of his skull when he leapt onto the table to start some new mischief in the midst of the party.
And the one time he did...
Sirius watched Moony from behind the suit of armour not wanting to be caught staring like a creep. He’d wanted to apologise as soon as the party was over last week but hadn’t quite managed it. But now Sirius had decided at dinner that he was going to apologise and tell Remus at the same time, two birds, one bush or whatever the ridiculous muggle saying was.
“Hey Moony!”
It was no good, Sirius watched as Remus’ robes whipped around the door frame. He thought about pursuit for a moment but Remus had always known the corridors and secret passageways of Hogwarts better than anyone, except James maybe. He should leave Remus alone, James had suggested as much, to give Remus some time to cool off after the party but all this waiting around was driving Sirius nuts. With a huff Sirius found his way to the dorm instead, frustration over the situation growing with each plodding step on stone stair. Opening the door to the bedroom he shared with the rest of the Marauders he found James bent over Remus’ trunk rummaging for who knew what.
“Remus will kill you if you mess up his robes again.”
The massive jump and shocked expression on James’ face might have usually provoked more than just a small grin in normal circumstances. But Sirius flopped onto his bed instead and stared at the canopy as he listened to James go back to searching.
“Remus is avoiding me.”
The rustling stopped and Sirius knew he had James’ full attention.
“Why would he do that?”
James sounded a little hesitant, Sirius guessed he was still not entirely comfortable discussing the whole Remus situation. James was his best friend, his brother and Sirius had to talk to someone about whatever the hell it was that was happening in his brain, and also somewhere slightly further south, when he thought of Remus. If James was the only person who knew who else was Sirius supposed to talk to? Himself? It would prove people right about his family if he started chatting merrily to himself he thought.
“I don’t know. Do you think he’s guessed? Or maybe it’s still the party, god that girl wasn’t even pretty why would he still be upset over that?”
“Er guessed what?”
“Merlin James, have you listened to a word I’ve said about Remus?”
“About Remus?”
James’ tone made Sirius sit up.
“Did your brain stay as Prongs last time you transformed back? Yes, Remus, what else have I been talking about lately?”
“Right, just a bit distracted.”
James waved vaguely in the direction of Remus’ trunk.
“I’m not even going to ask, plausible deniability when Remus asks then.”
Sirius got an actual smile from James with that before the boy started worrying his lip, Sirius didn’t think he’d ever seen James do that but the gesture was oddly familiar.
“How you feel...about Remus?”
“I don’t have to tell him if you don’t want me to, I thought you were ok with it.”
“Is this a joke? Are you taking the piss? Did you and James plan this or something?”
“James? You’re James. Are you feeling ok mate?”
“It’s not funny Sirius, you can’t...”
James’ voice had jumped up an octave and Sirius didn’t think he’d seen him this panicked since Lily had almost found out about the unicorn cuddly toy that still lived under James’ pillow.
“James I am trying to have a grown up conversation with you about how I’d quite like to snog one of our friends.”
James blanched, the white of his shirt collar looking positively colourful next to his skin. James’ throat actually choked a little on his words and Sirius sat up properly, slightly alarmed.
“Seriously what is up with you?”
James had a funny look on his face and Sirius wondered for a moment if the Slytherins had caught him with a Galloping Gas hex again.
“I...got to go Sirius.”
“James wait a minute, hang on.”
Sirius watched as James’ robes whipped out of the dorm before he followed. The commotion as he stepped into the Common Room stopped him dead for a moment, Gryffindors were never really quiet but the wall of sound that hit him was something else. Looking around for a moment from his slight height advantage of the first stair Sirius realised why. There were two James’ stood by the fire. Arguing. Pushing through the crowd until he could hear the viciously whispered argument several things clicked into place for Sirius all at once. The James he was talking to wasn’t a James at all, it was a Remus. He had talked to Remus in the dorm. Sirius watched now as the proper James hissed at Remus-James.
“Remus, what are you doing? I was meant to meet you upstairs.”
“Change of plans.”
“Complete fuck up of plans. Lily is right there.”
The words were too low to carry across the raucous crowd to the flame haired girl but Sirius realised that he’d interrupted some sort of prank that centered around James’ complete inability to stop bugging Evans. And involved Remus drinking polyjuice potion to look like James. Sirius wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know what else was involved in this plan, he did however want to know what Lily would make of it, even if she couldn’t hear their conversation she couldn’t fail to notice James Potter in duplicate.
“James.”
James looked up at the sound of Sirius’ voice to meet the panicked grey eyes staring at him. James stilled, stared for a moment then looked at Remus, who was still his mirror image and back to Sirius. A tiny nod was all it took to communicate what had happened between him and Remus upstairs in the dorm. As he saw comprehension dawn on James’ face Sirius felt the awe that other people had often talked about when they did their silent talking thing. Sirius watched as James leaned over and whispered into Remus’ ear, watched as Remus stared at his feet for a moment and then up at Sirius before marching across the Common Room, past Sirius and back up the stairs to their dorm. Sirius followed, unsure of what else to do in the situation.
“I guess you know now.”
Neither of them moved, Remus had sat on his bed as soon as he’d entered the dorm eyes firmly fixed on his lap, Sirius hovered awkwardly at the door before moving over to his own bed.
“How long until the polyjuice wears off? I’d rather you didn’t look like Prongs for this conversation to be honest. Guess I don’t even want to know why you had to look like him do I? Or what part of his body you had to ingest in the Polyjuice Potion. Toenail perhaps?”
Remus huffed. A half frustrated, half amused exhalation.
“Not long, a couple of minutes and no probably not.”
“Ok, er shall we just wait then?”
Remus nodded as Sirius watched his hands clench and unclench fistfuls of Gryffindor red bedspread. The window was open, the breeze cooler up here in the tower than the warm spring they were having at ground level and Sirius allowed the faint calls of birds to distract his thoughts from the current situation. Remus broke the silence, startling Sirius when he realised it was still James’ voice coming from Remus’ mouth.
“I tried to get out of there once I realised what you were trying to talk about...”
“It’s, it’s fine,” Sirius realised that the weight he had been carrying around with him had lightened slightly even if his insides still fluttered with nerves, “I wanted to tell you and now I have I guess.”
“Not quite the way you planned though.”
“No, but I could never find the right moment anyway.”
They were interrupted by Remus’ skin rippling and contorting until his familiar sandy brown hair and brown eyes were staring back at Sirius instead of the piercing green from under dark brown hair.
“You could tell me now though.”
“What’s the point, you already know now.”
The eye roll that Remus sent him was softened by the soft smile on his face.
“Maybe I’d like to hear you say it, but to me as me this time.”
“Oh,” Sirius felt his smile spread across his face, uncertain at first but growing quickly, “erm well I do you know. Like you. Well I guess you knew that but...I like you, like you.”
“Seriously that’s the best you can come up with? Months thinking about it and that is the best Sirius Black, Marauder and general mischief maker extraordinaire can come up with?”
Sirius frowned for a moment before he caught the sly grin on Remus’ face.
“You’re taking the piss? Now? Well I was always more of a man of action myself...”
Sirius relished the look of surprise on Remus’ face for a moment before he made his feelings known in a way that didn’t require any words. And for once Sirius’ timing was perfect.
Author: livinglibraries
Rating: PG
Warnings: Awkward boys.
Word Count: ~3,100
Summary: Sirius finds it difficult to tell Remus how he feels until it is taken out of his hands by a prank.
Author's Notes: Thank you to my beta bluebellmeadows any remaining mistakes/dodgy stylistic choices remain my own.
"I'm going to do it."
"Do what?"
“Talk to Moony.”
“How shocking, what will you be doing next? Getting out of bed and going to lessons perhaps?”
The pillow flew across the room and slapped into James’ face making Sirius smirk.
“You know what I mean.”
“I don’t get why you have to tell him anyway.”
“You tell Lily.”
“That’s different.”
“How?”
“I dunno, just is. Isn’t it? Anyways bet you’re not even his type, Remus is far too sensible to like you back.”
It was a thought that had run through Sirius’ mind more than once. They were friends but it didn’t naturally follow that Remus would be overjoyed to find out that Sirius would quite like to snog him rotten and although Sirius sometimes made light of being an outcast and unwanted he couldn’t imagine losing the friendship with any of the Marauders. So telling Remus had to be done at exactly the right time, if he could only just figure out exactly when that was.
1
He thought maybe he’d try in the morning, tell Moony before he’d properly woken up. The opportunity came a few days later, Peter had gone down early for breakfast to get some kippers before they were all gone and James had early morning detention with Hagrid after their last prank had gone slightly awry.
“Moony?”
“Umm?”
Sirius pulled the drapes around Remus’ bed apart just enough to crawl onto the bedspread.
“Is it morning already?”
Sirius grinned, Remus had never really been a morning person and he felt an unexpected rush of warmth as he watched Remus yawn and rub his eyes before flopping back onto his pillows.
“Here.”
Sirius handed over the slices of toast he’d gone down to the Great Hall to get earlier, still wrapped in a charmed handkerchief to stay warm.
“You’re the best Sirius, never believe me when I say otherwise.”
“Do I need to take your temperature? You sound fevered.”
Remus batted the hand away but Sirius launched himself using his body weight to an advantage against the prone figure of Remus. Laughing and breathless a few minutes later, the slices of toast long since disappeared into crumbs under the bedcovers. Sirius led back, his stomach aching as the echoes of the laughter faded, the warm cocoon of the bed lulling him slightly.
“I wish we didn’t have to get up, maybe we should just spend the day here.”
“Mmm, I think Professor Knightley might be pissed but hell who needs Arithmancy anyway?”
“Doth mine ears deceive me, ol’ Moony, school swot bunking off. Everyone would be scandalised.”
The mattress dipped as Remus shifted to his side. Their hands brushed as Remus moved making Sirius jump and pull his hand away automatically. Sirius felt his stomach lurch in anticipation of something he still didn’t fully understand.
“I need to shower, I’ll see you in class Sirius.”
Remus pulled on his robe as he headed for the bathroom leaving Sirius sprawled on his bed, disappointment and confusion crashing together loudly in his head as he realised that now probably wasn’t going to be his moment.
2
“Moony can I talk to you?”
“What is it Padfoot? I’m tired and I need to get another foot of essay written on a comparison of various cures for Mumplewrot.”
Remus did look tired, the pronounced shadow beneath his sunken eyes and the shade of skin slightly too pale to be healthy spoke volumes, especially if one considered the closeness of the full moon.
“Just an idea for a prank Moony, I’ll catch you later a’right?”
“No wait it’s fine Sirius, sorry.”
Remus waved his hand dismissing his appearance and the upcoming moon. Always trying to ignore the effect it had on his life.
“Don’t worry it’s nothing Moony, I shouldn’t bug you with this sort of rubbish just before, well you know.”
A flash of annoyance was all the emotion Remus would allow himself at the mention of his furry little problem. The library hadn’t exactly been the setting Sirius had expected or wanted to say something to Remus but the boy was very rarely anywhere else on his own. Sirius really needed to work on his timing but he didn’t know how long he could go on like this.
“Fine. Go and talk to James then. I really do need to get this essay done.”
Sirius wished he could press a finger to the line deeply etched between Remus’ eyes and smooth it away. The thought manifested itself in his mouth before his mind could censor it.
“I wish you didn’t have to go through this alone.”
Remus looked startled for a moment, his eyes darting to Sirius’ face and then around the nearby tables of the library, mostly empty apart from a group of Ravenclaws a few bookcases away.
“I don’t though Padfoot, not really. Not since, well even before you all got your own furry little problems.”
“Still.”
Remus watched him carefully for a moment.
“Was there, I mean did you really have to tell me about a prank Padfoot or was it something else?”
Sirius took a deep breath and lied through his teeth.
“Of course, what else would it be? I’ll fill you in later after I’ve talked to Prongs about it. See you later Moony.”
In his haste to leave the library Sirius managed to knock over a pile of books earning a severe look from both Madam Pince and Remus.
3
The third time Sirius had been sure it was about to happen. He was sat on his bed pretending to read his Magical Theory textbook whilst Remus read one of his Muggle books, something about a detective. Sirius was watching Remus’ hands holding the book open, periodically one would disappear to turn a page. Sirius watched as his fingers came back to settle once again on the cover.
“Something up Padfoot?”
Sirius realised that Remus’ eyes were watching him over the top of the book’s pages. Sirius tried to refocus on the pages in front of him, guilt at being caught prickling up his neck. Suddenly a dizzying recklessness came over him, he’d tell him right now, tell Remus.
“Can I ask you something?”
The book lowered slightly and Sirius chanced a glance up at Remus’ face. Open and accepting of the world around him, something Sirius marveled at when life had never exactly done Remus the same courtesy. The silence stretched as Remus waited, Sirius’ pulse pounded in his temple and his throat constricted around the words.
CRASH
James appeared in the dorm door, eyes searching wildly before lighting up as he spied Remus on his bed. He stalked over, grabbed Remus’ arm and tugged him out of the room. James’ voice echoed back from the corridor.
“Sorry Padfoot need to borrow Moony. Very important.”
Sirius flopped back onto the bed, the rush from being so close to telling Moony making his head pound and fingers tingle. So very close.
4
“That’s amazing, you’re amazing. Brilliant!”
Sirius grabbed Remus’ shoulders and pulled him closer intending on hugging him, something went slightly wrong as Remus ended up with his arms pressed in between them on Sirius’ chest. If that wasn’t awkward enough Sirius looked down as Remus looked up, their lips now so close together all it would take was a tiny movement for them to touch. They froze until a noise, maybe floorboards settling or an ancient pipe groaning, made them jump apart. They laughed and joked about how they should be used to strange noises when they lived in a Castle with Peeves the Poltergeist but the laughter sounded strange and distant, their eyes not quite meeting until Remus made an excuse about needing to go to the library.
5
The room was too hot, Sirius could feel the heat building up under his skin as he watched the Hufflepuff girl cock her head and laugh at something Remus had said. Couldn’t she see Remus wasn’t interested, in fact he looked fairly mortified to have her hanging off his every word. Well maybe mortified was too harsh but he did look uncomfortable. James was buzzing about the Quidditch match they were celebrating over into his ear which Sirius was ignoring, his attention too fully on Remus and his stalker. When the girl reached out and placed a possessive hand on Remus’ forearm that wasn’t immediately shrugged off Sirius couldn’t contain it any longer. He vaguely felt the tug on his robes that told him James had tried to hold him back and in a few swift steps, not enough time to let his blood cool he was too close far too quickly.
“Get your hands off him.”
“Ex..excuse me?”
The girl’s eyes had widened, her smile gone and replaced by a confused twist of her features. Remus’ face was more controlled, a slight tug lifting his eyebrow questioning rather than confused.
“He’s mi...my friend and you’re just embarrassing him and yourself.”
The girl, Sirius would remember her name was Rosie later, dropped her hand mortified and mumbled something incoherent before wandering off.
“That wasn’t very nice Sirius. Everything ok?
“She shouldn’t be hanging on you like that.”
“She wasn’t doing any harm. What’s up with you Sirius?”
Sirius almost did it then, almost leaned over and claimed Remus as his own before someone jostled them and thrust a butterbeer into Remus’ hand.
“You’re right, I’ll leave you to your adoring fans then.”
The words were far more venomous and less confused than what Sirius was actually feeling. He could feel Remus’ gaze burn into the back of his skull when he leapt onto the table to start some new mischief in the midst of the party.
And the one time he did...
Sirius watched Moony from behind the suit of armour not wanting to be caught staring like a creep. He’d wanted to apologise as soon as the party was over last week but hadn’t quite managed it. But now Sirius had decided at dinner that he was going to apologise and tell Remus at the same time, two birds, one bush or whatever the ridiculous muggle saying was.
“Hey Moony!”
It was no good, Sirius watched as Remus’ robes whipped around the door frame. He thought about pursuit for a moment but Remus had always known the corridors and secret passageways of Hogwarts better than anyone, except James maybe. He should leave Remus alone, James had suggested as much, to give Remus some time to cool off after the party but all this waiting around was driving Sirius nuts. With a huff Sirius found his way to the dorm instead, frustration over the situation growing with each plodding step on stone stair. Opening the door to the bedroom he shared with the rest of the Marauders he found James bent over Remus’ trunk rummaging for who knew what.
“Remus will kill you if you mess up his robes again.”
The massive jump and shocked expression on James’ face might have usually provoked more than just a small grin in normal circumstances. But Sirius flopped onto his bed instead and stared at the canopy as he listened to James go back to searching.
“Remus is avoiding me.”
The rustling stopped and Sirius knew he had James’ full attention.
“Why would he do that?”
James sounded a little hesitant, Sirius guessed he was still not entirely comfortable discussing the whole Remus situation. James was his best friend, his brother and Sirius had to talk to someone about whatever the hell it was that was happening in his brain, and also somewhere slightly further south, when he thought of Remus. If James was the only person who knew who else was Sirius supposed to talk to? Himself? It would prove people right about his family if he started chatting merrily to himself he thought.
“I don’t know. Do you think he’s guessed? Or maybe it’s still the party, god that girl wasn’t even pretty why would he still be upset over that?”
“Er guessed what?”
“Merlin James, have you listened to a word I’ve said about Remus?”
“About Remus?”
James’ tone made Sirius sit up.
“Did your brain stay as Prongs last time you transformed back? Yes, Remus, what else have I been talking about lately?”
“Right, just a bit distracted.”
James waved vaguely in the direction of Remus’ trunk.
“I’m not even going to ask, plausible deniability when Remus asks then.”
Sirius got an actual smile from James with that before the boy started worrying his lip, Sirius didn’t think he’d ever seen James do that but the gesture was oddly familiar.
“How you feel...about Remus?”
“I don’t have to tell him if you don’t want me to, I thought you were ok with it.”
“Is this a joke? Are you taking the piss? Did you and James plan this or something?”
“James? You’re James. Are you feeling ok mate?”
“It’s not funny Sirius, you can’t...”
James’ voice had jumped up an octave and Sirius didn’t think he’d seen him this panicked since Lily had almost found out about the unicorn cuddly toy that still lived under James’ pillow.
“James I am trying to have a grown up conversation with you about how I’d quite like to snog one of our friends.”
James blanched, the white of his shirt collar looking positively colourful next to his skin. James’ throat actually choked a little on his words and Sirius sat up properly, slightly alarmed.
“Seriously what is up with you?”
James had a funny look on his face and Sirius wondered for a moment if the Slytherins had caught him with a Galloping Gas hex again.
“I...got to go Sirius.”
“James wait a minute, hang on.”
Sirius watched as James’ robes whipped out of the dorm before he followed. The commotion as he stepped into the Common Room stopped him dead for a moment, Gryffindors were never really quiet but the wall of sound that hit him was something else. Looking around for a moment from his slight height advantage of the first stair Sirius realised why. There were two James’ stood by the fire. Arguing. Pushing through the crowd until he could hear the viciously whispered argument several things clicked into place for Sirius all at once. The James he was talking to wasn’t a James at all, it was a Remus. He had talked to Remus in the dorm. Sirius watched now as the proper James hissed at Remus-James.
“Remus, what are you doing? I was meant to meet you upstairs.”
“Change of plans.”
“Complete fuck up of plans. Lily is right there.”
The words were too low to carry across the raucous crowd to the flame haired girl but Sirius realised that he’d interrupted some sort of prank that centered around James’ complete inability to stop bugging Evans. And involved Remus drinking polyjuice potion to look like James. Sirius wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know what else was involved in this plan, he did however want to know what Lily would make of it, even if she couldn’t hear their conversation she couldn’t fail to notice James Potter in duplicate.
“James.”
James looked up at the sound of Sirius’ voice to meet the panicked grey eyes staring at him. James stilled, stared for a moment then looked at Remus, who was still his mirror image and back to Sirius. A tiny nod was all it took to communicate what had happened between him and Remus upstairs in the dorm. As he saw comprehension dawn on James’ face Sirius felt the awe that other people had often talked about when they did their silent talking thing. Sirius watched as James leaned over and whispered into Remus’ ear, watched as Remus stared at his feet for a moment and then up at Sirius before marching across the Common Room, past Sirius and back up the stairs to their dorm. Sirius followed, unsure of what else to do in the situation.
“I guess you know now.”
Neither of them moved, Remus had sat on his bed as soon as he’d entered the dorm eyes firmly fixed on his lap, Sirius hovered awkwardly at the door before moving over to his own bed.
“How long until the polyjuice wears off? I’d rather you didn’t look like Prongs for this conversation to be honest. Guess I don’t even want to know why you had to look like him do I? Or what part of his body you had to ingest in the Polyjuice Potion. Toenail perhaps?”
Remus huffed. A half frustrated, half amused exhalation.
“Not long, a couple of minutes and no probably not.”
“Ok, er shall we just wait then?”
Remus nodded as Sirius watched his hands clench and unclench fistfuls of Gryffindor red bedspread. The window was open, the breeze cooler up here in the tower than the warm spring they were having at ground level and Sirius allowed the faint calls of birds to distract his thoughts from the current situation. Remus broke the silence, startling Sirius when he realised it was still James’ voice coming from Remus’ mouth.
“I tried to get out of there once I realised what you were trying to talk about...”
“It’s, it’s fine,” Sirius realised that the weight he had been carrying around with him had lightened slightly even if his insides still fluttered with nerves, “I wanted to tell you and now I have I guess.”
“Not quite the way you planned though.”
“No, but I could never find the right moment anyway.”
They were interrupted by Remus’ skin rippling and contorting until his familiar sandy brown hair and brown eyes were staring back at Sirius instead of the piercing green from under dark brown hair.
“You could tell me now though.”
“What’s the point, you already know now.”
The eye roll that Remus sent him was softened by the soft smile on his face.
“Maybe I’d like to hear you say it, but to me as me this time.”
“Oh,” Sirius felt his smile spread across his face, uncertain at first but growing quickly, “erm well I do you know. Like you. Well I guess you knew that but...I like you, like you.”
“Seriously that’s the best you can come up with? Months thinking about it and that is the best Sirius Black, Marauder and general mischief maker extraordinaire can come up with?”
Sirius frowned for a moment before he caught the sly grin on Remus’ face.
“You’re taking the piss? Now? Well I was always more of a man of action myself...”
Sirius relished the look of surprise on Remus’ face for a moment before he made his feelings known in a way that didn’t require any words. And for once Sirius’ timing was perfect.