Fic: Perfectly Normal 6/7, PG
Title: Perfectly Normal
Rating: PG
Category: humor, romance
Timeframe: New Republic; one week after VotF
Summary: Luke and Mara discover that being a couple includes facing unexpected challenges.
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
They found something, all right, Mara thought, blinking as they entered Leia's apartment. I think the technical term is "disaster area."
Machine parts were strewn over most of the floor and furniture, along with some hand spanners, datapads, and some scattered pellets that Mara thought might be animal food - or perhaps an animal's leavings. She decided not to think about that particular possibility. The gray shimmersilk drapes were askew, one pulled partway off its rod, and there were footprints on the pale blue sofa. Beyond the hallway, she could hear the children arguing loudly, along with some rather suspicious banging noises. Having seen Leia's apartment at times when it hadn't been under seige, she could well imagine that the Mal'ary'ush would indeed be displeased to see the results of her children's actions.
Beside her, Luke was muttering under his breath and looking not at all surprised. "Oh, for the love of -"
Anakin dashed into the living area and picked up one of the scattered hand spanners, then noticed the new arrivals. "Uncle Luke! Hi! Hi, Mara." The cheeriness of his tone did little to mask the guilty look on his face, and he sent a dirty look toward Barkhimkh, who was standing to the side and eyeing the living area grimly. "I didn't know you were here."
"Obviously," Luke said drily.
"Master Anakin, you really mustn't -" Threepio entered the living area well behind Anakin, clanking slightly as he walked. He saw Luke and Mara, and threw his arms up stiffly in an unmistakable expression of droid relief. "Master Luke! Mistress Mara! Thank the Maker! The children are being most trying this evening."
"I can see that, Threepio," Luke said, pinning Anakin in place with a glare. Luke took a breath, then bellowed, "Jaina! Jacen! Get out here right now!"
Silence fell abruptly. A head of tangled brown hair peeked around the corner. "Hi, Uncle Luke," Jaina said meekly. "When did you get here?"
"Never mind that. Get your brother and get out here." Jaina disappeared behind the corner, and Luke turned his glare on Barkhimkh. "None of you noticed this?"
Barkhimkh inclined his head apologetically. "We were patrolling the perimeter, Master Skywalker. Our primary responsibility was security. The Mal'ary'ush told us that her translator droid would care for the children within the apartment." He glared at Threepio out of the corner of his eye.
Threepio sputtered in indignation. "I offered the children a wide range of stories to choose from, but they simply refused to sit still. I'd like to see you do better, you gray-skinned oaf."
"Be quiet, both of you," Luke said, rubbing his forehead wearily. Mara linked her arm with his, unsure whether she was moved more by a desire to offer comfort or receive it. This was normal family life? She could expect this sort of scene if she and Luke had children? She wondered if she could talk Luke into adopting a stray rancor instead.
Jaina and Jacen reentered the living area, looking slightly wary. "Hi, Uncle Luke," Jacen said, as meekly as Jaina before him. "Hi, Mara."
Luke gestured to the mess. "Explanations?" The children all traded glances, but remained silent. Luke sighed. "Never mind. Just get it cleaned up. If this place isn't presentable before your mother gets home, you're in trouble with me as well as her."
There were more quietly exchanged glances, then, subdued, the children began gathering the debris.
Something brushed against Mara's ankle. She glanced down, but saw nothing - well, almost nothing. The hem of one of her pant legs swayed slightly. Suspicious, Mara lifted that pant leg and discovered a very familiar-looking blue lizard clinging to her ankle. It looked up at her and flicked its tongue.
"That's it," Mara said. "It's official. The entire galaxy is against us tonight."
Luke glanced down and did a double take. "Is that the same -"
"No," Mara said, bending down to gently pry the lizard off her ankle. "It has a tail. But it's definitely the same kind."
"You found him!" Jacen dashed over, hands held out. "Thanks, Mara!" Bemused, Mara handed the lizard over.
"Is this the same lizard your mother said had to stay in its cage?" Luke asked sternly.
"No, Uncle Luke," Jacen said earnestly. "This is a different one."
Mara winced. "There are more of those wandering around here?"
"No," Jacen said. "I don't think so."
Mara looked pleadingly at Luke, who took Jacen's shoulders, turned him toward the hallway, and gave him a slight push. "Go check. If any are missing, start looking for them. If they're all accounted for, get back here and help Jaina and Anakin with the cleaning." He retook Mara's arm and tugged her gently toward the kitchen. "Let's see what there is to eat, shall we?"
The answer, Mara soon found, was nothing.
Luke was muttering under his breath again as he searched through the cupboards. "How long has Han been gone, anyway?"
Mara leaned against a green-veined marble counter, looking glumly at a box of biscuit mix. The biscuits sounded reasonably good, and she was getting hungry enough that a baking attempt was no longer out of the question, but the Solos' kitchen lacked the other ingredients that the recipe needed. Most of the things the kitchen contained were along the same lines, with key ingredients missing. There were some ready-to-eat items, but mostly the heavy, greasy Corellian type that Han favored, and she wasn't that hungry yet. "Does he do all the ordering, then?"
"Mostly," Luke answered, his voice slightly muffled by yet another cupboard door. He emerged empty-handed and looking as exasperated as Mara felt. "Which is a good thing. Han's a good cook. Leia is not. But usually she's better than this about keeping the basics stocked when he's not here. I guess she's been busier than normal lately."
"Understandable," Mara said. "Still . . ."
"I know." Luke sighed. "There are a few restaurants on this block. Trouble is -"
"- we'd be taking the kids," Mara finished. "Not my first choice, especially tonight, but desperate times call for desperate measures."
"True." Luke ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I'll go see how the cleaning is going."
Mara pushed herself away from the counter. "I'm going to go check Leia's shoe collection. But Luke - no Threepio."
"Definitely not," Luke said in a tone of convincing horror, then added, "I doubt we'll be able to shake the Noghri, though."
Mara sighed. "Can't have everything."
They parted, Mara making her way to Han and Leia's bedroom, which had escaped the ravages of bored children. Exploring the closet, she found that Leia had an impressive collection of boots and shoes. She also found that Leia wore at least a full size smaller than she herself did.
And to think, Mara mused, that when this evening had started, she had almost been upset over Luke being slightly late. After the broken shoe, lost reservations, spiders, inadvertant juice bath, lack of a proper shower, Luke's clothes, the Noghri, Threepio, messy children, lizards, and missed dinner, the idea seemed laughable.
Resigned, Mara returned to the living area and found that the Solo children's frightening energy levels could be channeled toward productive pursuits as well as destructive. Most of the scattered belongings were no longer to be seen, the sofa was nearly clean again, and Jaina had fixed the housekeeping droid that Anakin had been trying to dismantle and set it to vacuuming up the mysterious pellets.
Luke was eyeing the drapery. He caught Mara's eye and said, "I think this is more than I feel like tackling tonight. Leia can deal with it. Wouldn't want to erase all the evidence anyway, now, would we?"
"Definitely not," Mara said, coming to his side and looking at the torn drapery tabs. "She's going to owe us big for this one."
"To put it mildly," Luke said. He surveyed the nearly clean room, then looked back at her. "Hey, you didn't change shoes."
"Leia has impossibly tiny feet. I'd have to cut off my toes or something to fit into those shoes."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't do that. Do you want to go back to your place and get a new pair, then?"
"You said there were restaurants on this block?" Luke nodded, and Mara shrugged. "Hardly seems worth it, then. Do you know what time Leia will be back?"
"I called her while you were in back. I only got an assistant, but he said the meeting would probably last another two hours or so."
"Mmm." Mara looked at Jacen, who was halfheartedly trying to scrub the faded footprints off the sofa, and Jaina and Anakin, who were gathering the last bits of debris with only a little bickering to punctuate their actions. "Dinner with the kids it is, then." She looked back at Luke. "But when Leia gets back, we disappear. Your place, my place - I don't care, but the rest of the night is ours."
Luke took her hand. "Promise." Then he made a face. "Not that my other promises for tonight have worked out so well."
"This one will," Mara said, "because I will take my blaster to the first person who tries to disturb us after Leia takes the kids off our hands. And I will not have it set to stun."
Luke grinned. "Sounds good. Jacen," he said, turning back to the room, "leave that. The housekeeping droid can finish it. We're going out to dinner. Where do you guys want to go?"
"Blasteroids!" Anakin dropped his armful of tools in his excitement. Luke groaned.
"Blasteroids?" Mara asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Please?" Anakin begged, seconded by Jaina and Jacen.
"It's an interactive place for kids," Luke explained to Mara. "Noisy. Kind of obnoxious."
"Fun!" Jaina interrupted indignantly. "They have simulator rides of different starships, Mara! You can pretend you're flying an A-wing or a TIE fighter!"
"Or an X-wing," Luke suggested. Jaina made a face.
"Well, yeah - but Uncle Luke, A-wings and TIEs are faster."
Luke looked genuinely appalled. "Those are about the only two ships faster than an X-wing, Jaina. And speed isn't everything. The X-wing is way more durable than A-wings and TIEs. You're going to want that sturdiness when you're in battle. All the speed in the galaxy won't serve you as well if an enemy pilot gets a lucky shot."
"It will if you can outrun them in the first place," Jaina said, almost disdainfully.
Luke opened his mouth - surely to argue the folly of his niece's wayward reasoning, Mara thought with great amusement - but Jacen beat him to it. "There aren't only ship rides, Jaina." He turned to Mara, her obvious ignorance of the appeal of Blasteroids making her a primary target of its praises. "There are holographic animals, Mara. And games to play - if you win, you get Blasteroids credits, and you can buy prizes with them."
"Good prizes," Anakin interjected. "Not the stupid animal toys Jacen always gets."
"They're not stupid! And they're not toys!"
"Are so!"
"Not as stupid as all your toy droids!"
"They're not toys!"
"That's enough, all of you," Mara interrupted. "Fine, we'll go to Blasteroids. If your uncle says so, that is."
All three children immediately turned on Luke; obviously familiar with the pleading about to follow, he held up a hand and spoke first. "Fine, Blasteroids. Go get your jackets. And tell Threepio I'll take care of you, and he can power down for the night."
Cheers erupted, and three pairs of feet pounded down the hallway. Luke looked at Mara regretfully. "Sorry."
"It's okay," Mara said, for at least the dozenth time that night. "It's only for a couple of hours. They have food there, right? Not just games and sims?"
"Ye-es," Luke said doubtfully. "A kind of food, anyway. But like I said, Mara, it's a kids' place. All the food is aimed at kids. No shaak steak or karkan ribenes or anything especially good." He paused, thoughtful. "Although they do have ale. Probably because that's the only way the parents can get through a visit there."
Mara laughed. "You can buy me an ale, then. We'll point the kids toward the games and the sims, we'll find the least obnoxious thing on the menu, and we'll talk. Pretty much the same thing we were planning for dinner anyway, just with a lesser quality of food and more noise. We'll manage."
Luke smiled and took her in his arms. "I really do love you, you know."
"Damn right you do," Mara said, and reached up to kiss him.
"Ewww," Jaina said, reentering the living area with jacket in hand and a thoroughly disgusted look on her face.
"Want to stay home with Threepio, Jaina?" Luke asked mildly, his arms still around Mara. "I'm sure he'd love the company."
Jaina hastily pressed her lips into a thin line. Jacen and Anakin appeared from around the corner, both carrying their jackets, and Luke turned to Barkhimkh, who'd been standing silent watch by the front door since their initial entrance. "Do we need to collect any others?"
"That is not necessary," Barkhimkh said, his stern gaze still on the children. "I will serve as the protector of your group."
"All right, then," Luke said. "Everybody out. My speeder's in the usual place."
"Last one there's a Kowakian monkey-lizard!" Anakin dashed out the door with Jaina and Jacen close on his heels. Barkhimkh followed, somehow nearly matching their speed without seeming to hurry. Mara shook her head and click-clomped after them, Luke's arm in hers.
Rating: PG
Category: humor, romance
Timeframe: New Republic; one week after VotF
Summary: Luke and Mara discover that being a couple includes facing unexpected challenges.
part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
They found something, all right, Mara thought, blinking as they entered Leia's apartment. I think the technical term is "disaster area."
Machine parts were strewn over most of the floor and furniture, along with some hand spanners, datapads, and some scattered pellets that Mara thought might be animal food - or perhaps an animal's leavings. She decided not to think about that particular possibility. The gray shimmersilk drapes were askew, one pulled partway off its rod, and there were footprints on the pale blue sofa. Beyond the hallway, she could hear the children arguing loudly, along with some rather suspicious banging noises. Having seen Leia's apartment at times when it hadn't been under seige, she could well imagine that the Mal'ary'ush would indeed be displeased to see the results of her children's actions.
Beside her, Luke was muttering under his breath and looking not at all surprised. "Oh, for the love of -"
Anakin dashed into the living area and picked up one of the scattered hand spanners, then noticed the new arrivals. "Uncle Luke! Hi! Hi, Mara." The cheeriness of his tone did little to mask the guilty look on his face, and he sent a dirty look toward Barkhimkh, who was standing to the side and eyeing the living area grimly. "I didn't know you were here."
"Obviously," Luke said drily.
"Master Anakin, you really mustn't -" Threepio entered the living area well behind Anakin, clanking slightly as he walked. He saw Luke and Mara, and threw his arms up stiffly in an unmistakable expression of droid relief. "Master Luke! Mistress Mara! Thank the Maker! The children are being most trying this evening."
"I can see that, Threepio," Luke said, pinning Anakin in place with a glare. Luke took a breath, then bellowed, "Jaina! Jacen! Get out here right now!"
Silence fell abruptly. A head of tangled brown hair peeked around the corner. "Hi, Uncle Luke," Jaina said meekly. "When did you get here?"
"Never mind that. Get your brother and get out here." Jaina disappeared behind the corner, and Luke turned his glare on Barkhimkh. "None of you noticed this?"
Barkhimkh inclined his head apologetically. "We were patrolling the perimeter, Master Skywalker. Our primary responsibility was security. The Mal'ary'ush told us that her translator droid would care for the children within the apartment." He glared at Threepio out of the corner of his eye.
Threepio sputtered in indignation. "I offered the children a wide range of stories to choose from, but they simply refused to sit still. I'd like to see you do better, you gray-skinned oaf."
"Be quiet, both of you," Luke said, rubbing his forehead wearily. Mara linked her arm with his, unsure whether she was moved more by a desire to offer comfort or receive it. This was normal family life? She could expect this sort of scene if she and Luke had children? She wondered if she could talk Luke into adopting a stray rancor instead.
Jaina and Jacen reentered the living area, looking slightly wary. "Hi, Uncle Luke," Jacen said, as meekly as Jaina before him. "Hi, Mara."
Luke gestured to the mess. "Explanations?" The children all traded glances, but remained silent. Luke sighed. "Never mind. Just get it cleaned up. If this place isn't presentable before your mother gets home, you're in trouble with me as well as her."
There were more quietly exchanged glances, then, subdued, the children began gathering the debris.
Something brushed against Mara's ankle. She glanced down, but saw nothing - well, almost nothing. The hem of one of her pant legs swayed slightly. Suspicious, Mara lifted that pant leg and discovered a very familiar-looking blue lizard clinging to her ankle. It looked up at her and flicked its tongue.
"That's it," Mara said. "It's official. The entire galaxy is against us tonight."
Luke glanced down and did a double take. "Is that the same -"
"No," Mara said, bending down to gently pry the lizard off her ankle. "It has a tail. But it's definitely the same kind."
"You found him!" Jacen dashed over, hands held out. "Thanks, Mara!" Bemused, Mara handed the lizard over.
"Is this the same lizard your mother said had to stay in its cage?" Luke asked sternly.
"No, Uncle Luke," Jacen said earnestly. "This is a different one."
Mara winced. "There are more of those wandering around here?"
"No," Jacen said. "I don't think so."
Mara looked pleadingly at Luke, who took Jacen's shoulders, turned him toward the hallway, and gave him a slight push. "Go check. If any are missing, start looking for them. If they're all accounted for, get back here and help Jaina and Anakin with the cleaning." He retook Mara's arm and tugged her gently toward the kitchen. "Let's see what there is to eat, shall we?"
The answer, Mara soon found, was nothing.
Luke was muttering under his breath again as he searched through the cupboards. "How long has Han been gone, anyway?"
Mara leaned against a green-veined marble counter, looking glumly at a box of biscuit mix. The biscuits sounded reasonably good, and she was getting hungry enough that a baking attempt was no longer out of the question, but the Solos' kitchen lacked the other ingredients that the recipe needed. Most of the things the kitchen contained were along the same lines, with key ingredients missing. There were some ready-to-eat items, but mostly the heavy, greasy Corellian type that Han favored, and she wasn't that hungry yet. "Does he do all the ordering, then?"
"Mostly," Luke answered, his voice slightly muffled by yet another cupboard door. He emerged empty-handed and looking as exasperated as Mara felt. "Which is a good thing. Han's a good cook. Leia is not. But usually she's better than this about keeping the basics stocked when he's not here. I guess she's been busier than normal lately."
"Understandable," Mara said. "Still . . ."
"I know." Luke sighed. "There are a few restaurants on this block. Trouble is -"
"- we'd be taking the kids," Mara finished. "Not my first choice, especially tonight, but desperate times call for desperate measures."
"True." Luke ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I'll go see how the cleaning is going."
Mara pushed herself away from the counter. "I'm going to go check Leia's shoe collection. But Luke - no Threepio."
"Definitely not," Luke said in a tone of convincing horror, then added, "I doubt we'll be able to shake the Noghri, though."
Mara sighed. "Can't have everything."
They parted, Mara making her way to Han and Leia's bedroom, which had escaped the ravages of bored children. Exploring the closet, she found that Leia had an impressive collection of boots and shoes. She also found that Leia wore at least a full size smaller than she herself did.
And to think, Mara mused, that when this evening had started, she had almost been upset over Luke being slightly late. After the broken shoe, lost reservations, spiders, inadvertant juice bath, lack of a proper shower, Luke's clothes, the Noghri, Threepio, messy children, lizards, and missed dinner, the idea seemed laughable.
Resigned, Mara returned to the living area and found that the Solo children's frightening energy levels could be channeled toward productive pursuits as well as destructive. Most of the scattered belongings were no longer to be seen, the sofa was nearly clean again, and Jaina had fixed the housekeeping droid that Anakin had been trying to dismantle and set it to vacuuming up the mysterious pellets.
Luke was eyeing the drapery. He caught Mara's eye and said, "I think this is more than I feel like tackling tonight. Leia can deal with it. Wouldn't want to erase all the evidence anyway, now, would we?"
"Definitely not," Mara said, coming to his side and looking at the torn drapery tabs. "She's going to owe us big for this one."
"To put it mildly," Luke said. He surveyed the nearly clean room, then looked back at her. "Hey, you didn't change shoes."
"Leia has impossibly tiny feet. I'd have to cut off my toes or something to fit into those shoes."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't do that. Do you want to go back to your place and get a new pair, then?"
"You said there were restaurants on this block?" Luke nodded, and Mara shrugged. "Hardly seems worth it, then. Do you know what time Leia will be back?"
"I called her while you were in back. I only got an assistant, but he said the meeting would probably last another two hours or so."
"Mmm." Mara looked at Jacen, who was halfheartedly trying to scrub the faded footprints off the sofa, and Jaina and Anakin, who were gathering the last bits of debris with only a little bickering to punctuate their actions. "Dinner with the kids it is, then." She looked back at Luke. "But when Leia gets back, we disappear. Your place, my place - I don't care, but the rest of the night is ours."
Luke took her hand. "Promise." Then he made a face. "Not that my other promises for tonight have worked out so well."
"This one will," Mara said, "because I will take my blaster to the first person who tries to disturb us after Leia takes the kids off our hands. And I will not have it set to stun."
Luke grinned. "Sounds good. Jacen," he said, turning back to the room, "leave that. The housekeeping droid can finish it. We're going out to dinner. Where do you guys want to go?"
"Blasteroids!" Anakin dropped his armful of tools in his excitement. Luke groaned.
"Blasteroids?" Mara asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Please?" Anakin begged, seconded by Jaina and Jacen.
"It's an interactive place for kids," Luke explained to Mara. "Noisy. Kind of obnoxious."
"Fun!" Jaina interrupted indignantly. "They have simulator rides of different starships, Mara! You can pretend you're flying an A-wing or a TIE fighter!"
"Or an X-wing," Luke suggested. Jaina made a face.
"Well, yeah - but Uncle Luke, A-wings and TIEs are faster."
Luke looked genuinely appalled. "Those are about the only two ships faster than an X-wing, Jaina. And speed isn't everything. The X-wing is way more durable than A-wings and TIEs. You're going to want that sturdiness when you're in battle. All the speed in the galaxy won't serve you as well if an enemy pilot gets a lucky shot."
"It will if you can outrun them in the first place," Jaina said, almost disdainfully.
Luke opened his mouth - surely to argue the folly of his niece's wayward reasoning, Mara thought with great amusement - but Jacen beat him to it. "There aren't only ship rides, Jaina." He turned to Mara, her obvious ignorance of the appeal of Blasteroids making her a primary target of its praises. "There are holographic animals, Mara. And games to play - if you win, you get Blasteroids credits, and you can buy prizes with them."
"Good prizes," Anakin interjected. "Not the stupid animal toys Jacen always gets."
"They're not stupid! And they're not toys!"
"Are so!"
"Not as stupid as all your toy droids!"
"They're not toys!"
"That's enough, all of you," Mara interrupted. "Fine, we'll go to Blasteroids. If your uncle says so, that is."
All three children immediately turned on Luke; obviously familiar with the pleading about to follow, he held up a hand and spoke first. "Fine, Blasteroids. Go get your jackets. And tell Threepio I'll take care of you, and he can power down for the night."
Cheers erupted, and three pairs of feet pounded down the hallway. Luke looked at Mara regretfully. "Sorry."
"It's okay," Mara said, for at least the dozenth time that night. "It's only for a couple of hours. They have food there, right? Not just games and sims?"
"Ye-es," Luke said doubtfully. "A kind of food, anyway. But like I said, Mara, it's a kids' place. All the food is aimed at kids. No shaak steak or karkan ribenes or anything especially good." He paused, thoughtful. "Although they do have ale. Probably because that's the only way the parents can get through a visit there."
Mara laughed. "You can buy me an ale, then. We'll point the kids toward the games and the sims, we'll find the least obnoxious thing on the menu, and we'll talk. Pretty much the same thing we were planning for dinner anyway, just with a lesser quality of food and more noise. We'll manage."
Luke smiled and took her in his arms. "I really do love you, you know."
"Damn right you do," Mara said, and reached up to kiss him.
"Ewww," Jaina said, reentering the living area with jacket in hand and a thoroughly disgusted look on her face.
"Want to stay home with Threepio, Jaina?" Luke asked mildly, his arms still around Mara. "I'm sure he'd love the company."
Jaina hastily pressed her lips into a thin line. Jacen and Anakin appeared from around the corner, both carrying their jackets, and Luke turned to Barkhimkh, who'd been standing silent watch by the front door since their initial entrance. "Do we need to collect any others?"
"That is not necessary," Barkhimkh said, his stern gaze still on the children. "I will serve as the protector of your group."
"All right, then," Luke said. "Everybody out. My speeder's in the usual place."
"Last one there's a Kowakian monkey-lizard!" Anakin dashed out the door with Jaina and Jacen close on his heels. Barkhimkh followed, somehow nearly matching their speed without seeming to hurry. Mara shook her head and click-clomped after them, Luke's arm in hers.