Fic: "Stopover" 1/1

[deaka]

Title: "Stopover"
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Category: Romance, missing scene
Summary: Time for a first date, already. Sort of.

A/N: A missing scene from Vision of the Future, in which Luke and Mara take a moment to catch their breath. Set after the departure from Nirauan and before the final chapter aboard the Chimaera.

“Next stop, Coruscant,” Luke

Comments

[withpins]

Oh, this was perfectly romantic, sweet, and realistic without resorting to the smut or going far outside of canon. And your Luke and Mara were both characterized flawlessly. *heart*

[deaka]

Thank you! I was trying to get a canon-esque feel here, so I'm glad to hear it fit.

[lilsongbird]

Sweet and you got them perfect. My only crit is the end seems a little slapped up there. Goes almost from a nice conversation where Luke still needs a shower, to end. You write well. It'd be nice to see more of a smooth transition to that ending. :)

[deaka]

Thanks. :) I didn't think there was much more to add in there, but I appreciate your thoughts. I toyed with the idea of a message to Leia and Han establishing how they all end up on the Chimaera, but it seemed to disrupt the flow too much. Thanks for the feedback.

[tianaluthien]

Oh, that was lovely. Sweet, romantic, and simple. I like it VERY much, indeed :)

[deaka]

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks. :D

[gabri_jade]

Still one of my favorites. It's a perfect missing moment. :D

Luke looked at her, in the stained and torn jumpsuit that she’d worn through the caves, through a blaster shot to the shoulder, through climbing and tears and loss and blasterfire and battle and deluge. She wore no makeup, and there were shadows under her eyes and a fading bruise on her cheek from the flood though the caves. Limp tendrils of her hair were escaping haphazardly. “You,” he said with absolute sincerity, “look beautiful.”

I think that's probably my favorite passage - just too sweet for words. The whole vig is beautifully done. Lovely to see another story from you. :D

[deaka]

Aw, thank you. I was a bit nervous about posting it here, actually. :p Thanks for (re)reading. :D

[dm_lunsford]

That was simply delightful. Thankgs for giving me something to smile about this morning. ; )

[deaka]

You're very welcome. :) Thanks for reading!