08 (The End).

[manonajourney]

And so it happened just as it was supposed to; she returning to her castle in that distant shore and he, back to being just another vagabond with a lute playing for taverns and living off song and poem. Hope for the best, expect the worst, and how he hoped it would turn out differently. But unlike the stories of kings and queens and loves that

Comments

Here it comes:

[sudyn]

For one thing you have “nice white skin” and then “nice little ending” in the same sentence. I’m a real nag when it comes to that. I like diversion.
And when you come to the princes being in another’s arms, I’d use “another man’s arms,” but that’s just me. Apart from that, the sentence is very long. But then again, that’s just me.
Otherwise, I have not complaints.
This would make a lovely short story, you know? I’d love to know what happened before… and what might happen to the minstrel. Will whoever is betrothed to the princess find out what he did? Will the singer be hunted down? Will he die in the end? (Yes. I’m quite macabre, hehe)

Re: Here it comes:

[sudyn]

no complaints*
urg! typo-power. But I guess you already know me well enough to know that my writing is full of them. =P

Re: Here it comes:

[manonajourney]

hmm. Good point. I think I should change the nice on nice white skin to something else. But yeah, I think one of my own personal rules is that a sentence should never have a pattern inside it, as if a line on a song of sorts.

On long sentences, I seem to have this attachment for those. Call it personal preference now and then. Thanks for pointing it out though.

Hmm... I haven't thought of anything before or after this one. The Merrick name just popped up last minute actually. hehe.