When you can't have ham it's the next best thing

[mandy_croyance]

Three posts in 24 hours definitely constitutes spamming, but I really want you guys to see this and weigh in. Especially given the meta I held here last month.

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I'm going to guess that we're all pretty accepting of homosexuality here, but what about the genderqueer?

Would you let your son wear a dress at school?I'd like to think I would, but

Comments

[sinuous_curve]

Man, that's a hard question.

I think for me personally, when it came down to it, if that's what my child really wanted to do, I would absolutely let them dress and express themselves however they wanted. I know how hard it is to live with that kind of secret dogging you every moment of every day and the relief of having it out there for the world to know is exhilarating in the weirdest, scariest way.

But, on the other hand, I would make sure my child knew exactly what they were getting into. I don't care. So long as they are happy and nothing more or less than who they are, I'm happy for them. But the problem is the rest of the world is not going to be that accepting. The rest of the world is going to be confused and upset and freaked out.

If I had a son who was transgendered and thus wanted to wear dresses, etc. I would do everything to help him, but I would also want to do whatever I could do to help him.

Gah. It's hard.

[mandy_croyance]

That's pretty much exactly my opinion on the subject. I just didn't want to say it outright in the post because I didn't want to influence what others would say.

I think as a parent you owe the foremost responsibility to your child and to help that child become the person they want to become. If I had a son who wanted to wear dresses (transgender or just curious), I would let him but I would make sure that they understood that not everyone will like it because some people think certain types of clothing are just for girls.

I can't guarantee that I wouldn't at least casually suggest - especially the kid was very young - that maybe he might like to wear pants to school today instead? Just because it would break my heart to see such a young child fall victim to such unnecessary hate. I don't like that I would be tempted to do so, but I could see myself doing it. /o\

It is hard. Really hard. Fuck society and their stupid gender binary for making it that way :(

[sinuous_curve]

Exactly. I think when they're younger too it's even harder because kids that young I don't think really have the emotional capacity yet to really deal with something as important and complicated as sexuality. Even in high school and with some adults, they can't go beyond the knee jerk reaction to boy in a dress to actually try and understand why.

I think I'd probably be the same way. At home my child could wear whatever they wanted and be exactly who they are, but I'd really have to think about it for school when they were young. It's a rock in a hard place. Do you hurt them a little by not letting them be who they are or risk a far worse and more all encompassing hate at the hands of ignorant classmates and potentially even teachers.

Grr. Society is so irksome sometimes.

[melzadreamer]

I let my son wear a dress if he wanted; but, I'd also let him know the dangers he'd have to face because of ignorant people. So, yeah. Dress is a go. (As long as he doesn't have bad taste! No pleather skirts. ew)

Oh, and Sherri Shepperd is a tool.. I mean seriously.
"is the world flat? I've never thought about it."

[mandy_croyance]

Hahah. Yeah. That's how I feel about it too. I hate that people still have the idea that there is such a huge gap between what's acceptable for girls and what's acceptable for boys.

Still, my heart would ache every time my child was bullied or teased for just being who they are.

Dude. I think I need to go join PFLAG now or something :D

[alexalgebra]

Well, I'm genderqueer, so yes, of course I would let my son wear a dress at school. The potential teasing? Kids tease each other over every little thing anyway. I think it depends on the age. If he was old enough that he might get in a physical altercation over it, I'd probably say something.

[mandy_croyance]

I seem to remember you mentioning being genderqueer at some point. Do you might be asking how so? It really is a huge spectrum :D

And yeah. It seems like everyone pretty much has the same opinion here. Kids should be given their freedom but warned of the possible (and unfortunate) societal repercussions.

[alexalgebra]

I'd prefer to keep it at that. The huge spectrum is kind of the point. I like to keep people guessing because binary gender roles are for the birds ;)

[spazzyskittles]

I would have to say that if the child knew exactly what they were doing and what they were facing. I don't know, I think my ethics class is affecting my answer. We're talking about Aristotle's views on "excellence of character" and that a child can't possess it because they don't really have the knowledge of what "doing the right thing" is.

It's a very difficult call though.

[rightbackatya]

i wouldn't let my kid wear a dress to school because i think he'd be too young to understand that there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that and i don't want kids hurting him and making him believe there is something wrong with that you know? because along with parents, teachers and other kids are the biggest influences on young children, on anyone really.

i think i would make the house comfortable enough that when he felt like telling me about it or asking if he could, he would be able to.

he'd be like, a little tiny eddie izzard, it'd be awesome.

[rightbackatya]

although i guess eddie izzard isn't genderqueer, he just wears lady's clothings but considers himself a man. i don't exactly no what gederqueer is but yeah.