(no subject)
Fandom: the GazettE, Jrock
Rating: NC-17(ish)
Genre(s): the GazettE, Jrock, Drama
Pairing(s): Reita and Aoi
Warnings: Slash, you have been warned.
Summary: I’ll be just fine without you…
I’ll Be Just Fine Without You…
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Reita sat lightly perched at the edge of the bed. No part of him was confused or reluctant as Aoi’s mouth closed on his for the first time; the deeper his kiss got, however, the more Reita realized how inexperienced he was and a pang of fear shot through him as he was terrified that Aoi would be far too disappointed to go on. Aoi must have sensed something of the trouble going through the first’s mind because Reita's body was suddenly stiff and still as if he were a trapped animal under Aoi’s hot kisses. It was hardly the case, but the two’s perceptions diverged as they crossed a line into the physical realm.
The elder man slipped back allowing a level of distance between the two of them and Reita almost leaned forward to recapture the warmth Aoi had been offering him a moment before. The blending of friendship into something less than platonic had happened organically; Reita couldn’t put a time on when it had happened, though currently it was still tentative. The fact that Aoi was there at all was a side effect of random words that spilled from each other’s lips in reluctant hope that the other would latch on and make something more out of the meaning that was muted by fear of rejection. Both had done exactly that as it led them to the very position they were in presently.
Aoi’s eyes scanned the floor that now separated them. He was sheepish only for the fact that he had been the one that provoked the movement to the room where they could be in private. He had been the one that ran with Reita’s passing implication of something more than friendly affection. And he, in that moment, was terrified that he was taking advantage of a friend.
Reita’s hand moved forward and brushed the flesh on Aoi’s exposed chest, which was as such from the clumsy attempt to disrobe him in their heated moments. It was fleeting and Reita was momentarily struck with the idea that he might have missed his chance at feeling the other’s naked chest pressed against his, and for what reason, he was uncertain. He did, however, feebly attempt to close the distance and lure the dark haired man back over to him.
They were both young and idealistic but Aoi knew he was far more experienced than the blonde; there was evidence in the way Reita's hand trembled when the very tips of his fingers breezed Aoi’s exposed, naked chest. The kiss, albeit messy, was novice but that only drew the older man more. The innocence in Reita’s attempt and proving his worth by not taking notice to quality but succumbing straight to passion was endearing, if not the singular contributing factor in his returned desire and the uncomfortable lump in his pants.
A smile crossed his face, tugging on the ring through his lip as he could see the longing in Reita’s eyes and feel it in the very air about them by the way Reita reached forward again, desperate to get Aoi closer. A small, so small he almost didn’t notice it, wave of reluctance crossed Aoi again for the concern that he was taking advantage of the situation, but it didn’t stop him from moving forward and capturing Reita’s lips again.
This time Aoi didn’t hold back; his lips fastened onto Reita’s and he buried his fingers in the fabric the shirt that still constrained Reita’s no doubt flawless torso. He felt Reita’s hand move from the small of his lower back, roughly up to his shoulder blades where he managed getting a firmer and more stable grip on the guitarist. With one solid tug, he pulled Aoi closer and they both tumbled back onto the bed and a small, chirp of a bemused laugh escaped Aoi’s lips, truly having been surprised by the sudden and unexpected action on Reita’s part. The sound of Aoi’s single laugh drew a soft smile from Reita before his lips found Aoi’s again just as the older man’s hands started to familiarize himself with every muscle, curve, and angle of Reita’s body.
The younger’s lean frame was chiseled with muscle and the skin drawn over it was like a mere shield that made the rock-like toned body more comfortable for fingers to explore. Aoi dismissed all of his inhibitions before, all of his fear that he was taking advantage of a situation that might not be his to take, in lieu of his longing for the other. It helped that Reita’s kisses were welcoming and comprised of obvious desire mixed with a hint of passion.
Neither remembered when their clothes were dismissed, but the bits of fabric that had been covering their bodies some how made it to little pooled piles strewn about the small room as they had been discarded in haste and longing. Aoi relished in the feel of Reita’s hands tempting his body as they ran over all the places they could easily reach, but he knew, deep down, that should he not instigate their actions further, they could go on the rest of the night like they were, no matter how badly Reita wanted to move forward and turn the fairly innocent encounter into something less casual. The blond simply hadn’t the experience to know how to do that alone.
Aoi’s body ached in longing for Reita; he wasn’t exactly sure which way or how but the logistics were of little import and he was more interested in getting to one of the many outcomes. Yet still, he didn’t want to simply dive in full force for fear that it would scar the experience for Reita and that, truly, would hurt Aoi in return. Therefore his lips slipped away from Reita’s and made their way down his bare chest, running a string of evenly spaced kisses down his smooth, rippled abdomen. His hands followed behind his mouth where he paused just at Reita’s exposed and vulnerable shaft.
His head didn’t move, though his eyes lifted to drink in a final look at Reita’s face before his last bit of niavity regarding sex was lost. The ring in his lip fought, unable to change it’s shape and structure, though the flesh around it tugged at it while the corners of Aoi's lips turned up to a smile at the hopeful, yet frightfully nervous glean in Reita’s telling eyes. Aoi didn’t need to be asked before those same lips wrapped around the swell of Reita and Aoi relished, momentarily, in the taste of his lover.
Reita’s breath caught in his throat and his head dropped heavily back in the pillow with the sensation that overcame him. It was unexpected and, at the same time, entirely within his scope of possible reactions when he felt Aoi take him. It was with care and ease that Aoi moved his mouth along Reita and he felt himself swell further than he’d already been, which was more than enough to cause a dull ache in his lower body. It wasn’t just about the act which made him fully submerge in the event, there was absolutely sentimental value and emotional affection attached to the it; otherwise Reita was certain he couldn’t have let Aoi kiss him, let alone intentionally give him that much physical and sexual attention.
He could feel his inner thighs tremble and Aoi drew his lips and tongue away, once more looking up to the appraise the look on the beautiful blonde’s face. It was gratifying enough that his own body responded and he felt a small bit of moisture escape him. In a quick movement, Aoi capture it with his two forefingers and using his thumb rubbed it light against them, slicking them down as best he could with the available tools.
He pressed his other hand to Reita’s chest and held him there for a moment, his eyes set on Reita’s as he bowed his head lightly and Reita mildly squirmed with what he expected Aoi was up to. Aoi leaned up and forward capturing a soft kiss and parted away centimeters before he whispered, “Relax.”
It was the last thing he said before Reita tried to answer the suggestion, but no amount of preparation could have readied him for the moment Aoi used those now two slippery fingers to dip into him. Reita felt small beads of sweat form across his forehead as he tried to refrain from squirming again, this time out of discomfort. He could certainly tell that Aoi was being gentle and though it wasn’t exactly painful, it was shocking and uneasy. Even so, the sensation passed as quickly as it came, once more being drawn to the physical attachment and emotional draw it imposed about Reita’s soul. There was no doubt about his former questions, no part of him would ever be willing to admit that he wasn’t in love with Aoi - even if he didn’t vocalize those emotions right away; Reita already knew it.
Aoi still watched Reita carefully, he wanted to be sure not to cause any pain to him for fear it would push him away. But the small crease between Reita’s eyebrows, and the way his bangs trembled as the only visible representation of the fact that he was shaking, spoke volumes to Aoi - far more than words themselves could do. He remembered feeling the exact same thing and knew that the expression written across Reita’s face, his eyes lightly pressed shut and his eyebrows knitted together as Aoi made to help him relax more, was not one of pain but learning pleasure.
He wanted Reita, badly in that moment. There was something carnal about the way his face held every sensation he was experiencing and the way sweat broke out across his lover’s body in a thin sheen that made his skin shine against the dim light. It took all of Aoi’s will power not to forcefully take Reita, right then. However, it didn’t stop him from bringing his body up, pulling his fingers away and pressing his chest against Reita’s again. His lips found the familiarity of Reita’s inviting as he transferred his passion and lust to kisses that only made Aoi hotter and his longing for Reita deeper.
“Relax.” Aoi urged again, knowing that he couldn’t keep the desire at bay and explained softy, “I’ll do my best to be gentle, but you have to relax, Reita.” Reita didn’t respond with words but instead with a tiny shift of his legs, moving them slightly further apart to accommodate Aoi’s request. Aoi remembered that he’d been reluctant to take advantage of Reita; but it seemed far away now, in a distant dream perhaps. He wanted to pull that feeling forward and let it guide him, but Reita’s willingness to be a participant and showing full signs of desire made Aoi unable to identify with those concerns.
It took a few tries for Aoi to fully sink the entirety of his length into Reita, but with each attempt he continued to gently encourage Reita with soft reassuring words, which Reita nodded to - even if his body stiffened and shifted uncomfortably each time. Once Aoi had dipped himself entirely into Reita, the blonde seemed contented but made a soft, pleased moan when Aoi started to move which forced the dark haired man to stop, far too fevered by the involuntary encouragement from the depths of Reita’s throat.
He pulled away and moved back from Reita who, shocked, sat up. “What…?” He started to say but Aoi pressed his fingertips, all four of them, flat against Reita’s lips.
“Shhhh…” he hissed delicately. He closed his eyes and his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to gain some sembelance of control over his raging emotions. “Come here.” He said gathering Reita up, of which the latter returned said embrace but with no less confusion than what was etched on his face when Aoi suddenly stopped.
“I want you to have me.” He admitted quietly and before Reita could protest, Aoi drew the lean man on top of him instead. He didn’t speak but helped Reita guide his still extraordinarily firm shaft into his body. Like the overwhelming connection Reita had felt when Aoi first pulled their kisses into something more, Aoi was suddenly overcome with an explosive hunger to never let Reita go. His fingertips dug into Reita’s bicep and he felt his lover press closer and harder at Aoi’s open mouthed and breathy ‘yes’; which escaped him before he could stop it.
Reita answered his lover’s subconscious plea and let instinct take over as he rocked in harmony with Aoi’s hips that acted as Reita’s guide for when, where, how far and just how hard to move. Aoi had given up on making words and simply led Reita by the pressure he gave back and the strength in which his fingers clung to the meat of Reita’s arms, combined with the arching of his back and the scrunching of his face - Reita learned to read Aoi’s body language quickly. The second pleased and needy ‘yes’ that fell from Aoi’s lips was simply too much for Reita and every bit of pent up, drawn out teasing that had happened prior to that moment came to fruition. He felt his body explode in a tingling sensation across every inch of him as he let go of any hesitancy and allowed himself to experience the full wave of emotion and physical release.
Aoi felt it too and the moment Reita’s body tipped over the edge, his answered the call and they were left in a harmonious orgasm that left both of them panting heavily and basking in solid afterglow.
Reita collapsed beside Aoi and merely let his eyes travel over to the other. “You’ll be here tomorrow?” He managed to somehow form words regardless of how breathless he still was.
Aoi’s eyes fluttered shut and he felt the edges of his lips turn up again and he drew in a long breath through his nose, one the was contented, sated and filled his chest entirely. His head nodded. “Indeed I will.” His fingers drew down Reita’s forearm and his fingers laced through the other’s and he released the breath. With it went the screen that had filtered him from remembering how he felt as if he were taking advantage of the younger man. He head rolled over and he his eyes open again. The former smile was replaced by an expression with the exact opposite meaning.
“However…tomorrow you won’t be mine; and I won’t be yours. That was just for tonight - just for us. Tomorrow I’ll still be here and you there but I won’t be the teacher anymore and you the student; tomorrow we’ll find peers to do this with.” It was the only answer Aoi could give Reita; it was the only way he could be sure he didn’t purposefully and repeatedly take advantage of the younger man. If given the chance, Aoi was certain he could let himself be lost to Reita and, because of it, he wasn’t really sure which one was teacher and which was student.
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I’ll be here telling myself it’s true.
A/N: Whew, okay - so as per usual this story is titled after an Alkaline Trio song as are the lyrics that wrap around this story. I couldn’t better explain it than those little lyrics; so I’ll let them take care of it for me. Now…I have to cringe. I always swore I’d never write one of these - NC 17 that is. This is the first one I’ve done, as many of you know I share a journal with Jackie and I didn’t want to put this on that journal because the nature of this piece. I was afraid it would do her an injustice and I’m a little embarrassed that I wrote one at all. However, I had to try - just to say that I had. Now that I have, I don’t’ know that I ever will again. >_< Mandy-shi is nervous!! *sweat* To be honest I can’t even believe I’m sharing it. With that said…I hope that you can find some semblance of value in this. Anywho, thank you for reading. I appreciate it. I will probably edit again tomorrow - I’m sort of tired (which could explain why I even wrote this and thought it was a good idea to post it ^^p - I make bad choices on little sleep).
I would really appreciate any feed back you guys have. Thank you.
-M